Day 533 - lost touch with LIFE


losing touch with Life. What is the first thing most people do when they see a spider or a snake or any other animal bug that is unfamiliar to us personally. We react in fear, and the question must be why do we react in fear instead of a curiosity to be calm and to investigate and then respond. Why do we react in fear to Life and what is here as life as nature? I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards Life and what is here. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my nature to be that of and as fear instead of life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if my first respond to anything I do not know is fear, then I am not here as Life one and equal. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond with fear and emotion towards life as other parts of me in different forms and expressions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow fear and to see fear as normal and to not question all fear existent within me to change fear into Here breathing

Day 532 - Animal support

 

Animal support. I truly enjoy animals and the physical support they are, but sometimes I do not show this appreciation or enjoyment towards the animals in my reality. This usually happens when I am in a rush and in my mind. I will find that if I am in my mind my experience with and towards animals are that of ' they are in my way' and just annoying me. Yet it is all an experience that is only within me. With this white cat here I noticed this relationship I have created within myself towards animals. As she keeps on walking over my laptop or sleeping on my office chair or while making calls suddenly be all over me and in my mind I will see this as annoying and time wasting and the cat must stop. But she was consistent and through this I started instead embracing these moments and getting out of my mind. It became the opposite of what I experienced before and in fact it actually supported me in releasing stress from working which made work better and more fluent. This became a daily routine now where she would wait for me or come running once I was there. Thank you Animals for your unconditional physical support and showing us what is real and facing our human conditioned nature of the mind as our illusion of reality.

Day 531 - My Son is my example

 

my son is my example. He is so amazing in giving his everything in all the things he do. The way he focus the way he is here completely present with the task at hand. Something as simple as him sitting by himself independently away from me by his own table. Climbing on and off and sitting as I do. I am not allowed to help yet I must be available. He tests this out over and over. Where "I", sit down.... without EVER!! considering how I got to sit at a table. But this is just one instance. While I might be thinking and wondering in the mind, my son is showing me that only through real time physical application and testing can development happen. And to be consistent till there is a result that is best and stick with it.

Day 530 - Logical thinking and reasoning

 

Logical thinking and reasoning from knowledge and information as being smart is exactly what trapped us humans in this destruction path in Life. Just look at any form of abuse or addiction in this world. It is kept alive with logic and reason based on knowledge and information. A person that abuses a family member at home uses logic and reason in their mind to why they do what they do. Look at porn addicts, they want to stop but logic and reason pulls them back and stopping seems impossible. We can literally use logical thinking and reasoning in any situation in this world and justify it as right. No where is there common sense and self honesty. Take a look at yourself. How you have so much knowledge and information to use as logical thinking and reasoning to justify why you aren't stopping and creating a better world for all life

Day 529 - fear is an interesting emotion

 

fear is an interesting emotion. It is almost a consistent feeling we anticipate/expect within our realities. For example when a snake comes along people freak out, as if the response was already there in a fear just lashing out and screaming and wanting to harm and kill in Fear of what the person fear can maybe happen. I have observed fear in slow motion, specifically with a snake and me handling a wild snake. The fear isn't my own as I can see it come from a pre response that I integrated from my parents and others when I was young, yet I accepted the fear as my own. You should see how a snake respond to people who has fear. The more fear the more the snake becomes aggressive and actually only then put everyone in danger. Blaming the snake. Meantime our fear creates what we fear and it isn't even our fear. We were taught the fear. If we react about or towards something with fear then we can know that we have been living in fear the whole time. That something is just revealing what we exist as

Day 528 - We live in a system that is out of service

 

We live in a system that is out of service. It isn't serving us. In fact we are serving the system even when it cons us into believing it is here to serve us. For example a Bank. I work all month for the end result to receive money. My money goes into a bank where it is kept save. Yet the bank steals little by little of my money every time I want to use some, besides already paying monthly banking fees. And in the other hand even if I do not want a bank account the system is forcing me to have one. All I am saying is take a moment to consider what service means and see how the system manipulates and cons everyone to pay for something that claims to serve us. Without money you are fucked by this system. Yet we all seem.to be okay with the idea that if you have no money you are fucked. No service

Day 527 - Living inside of oneself

 

 Living inside of oneself all the time, holding the past against self in the hope/fear that by not letting go of the past the future might look different, only to have the past with you in each moment to create the past over and over. To keep assessing and to keep fearing the past only creates a resentful mind and thus a angry way of living. This anger does not show as we expect. It rather turns into other expressions such as not caring, depression, spite, nastiness, name it. As anger is a creation of feeling powerless. In this instance keeping the past as your thoughts/feeling/emotions with you everyday only creating the past again everyday. We do become first powerless than angry and then we either change or we submit to our own creation of self defeat

Day 526 - Walk the talk.

 

 Walk the talk. It is easy to talk and to say things and make things sound right and good and to use words on and on, but what is the meaning of the words that I speak if I am not applying and living them for real for myself first. This is the case that I found with me and my son. I must live what I speak. Not in terms of making promises and keeping them. Promises are always a lie. I am talking about what is Here in each moment and living what I stand for. Being an example. And the speaking comes later that I add to my actions. So that there is no bias. This also helps me to always check and make sure that I am living and breathing in each moment as my son takes it all in. Even if I just sit and do nothing. Its a matter of who I am within it. I realized I must be an example to myself first and not do it just for my son as that will still be a bias and not sustainable to real change

Day 525 - What I enjoy doing versus what I have to do

 

What I enjoy versus what I have to do. Or let me change that to taking what I have to do and taking what I enjoy doing and creating a supportive way for me to always enjoy myself in what ever I do. Thus who I am in what I do becomes the enjoyment. See we have it backwards - we do things that we enjoy because they bring joy as an experience inside ourselves which is nice and comfortable. So if it is about how we initially experience ourselves within what we do then we can realize that our experiences are our own and we can thus decide our experiences in what ever we do. If we allow ourselves to let go of the judgements and ideas/beliefs/opinions inside of our minds that we recieved and accepted and allowed from others to become our thinking about everything. But this does not mean accepting and allowing any abuse or harm for self or another. That is a physical experience that needs to be addressed with others or seeking help support. I went from doing what I enjoy most as working outside building and being in nature to doing office work and being indoors and driving all the time as I needed to. So here I decided to change who I am withon it all to make it an expression of myself instead of a limitation.

Day 524 - Solitary confinement

 

Solitary confinement has been seen as a method of apparently teaching someone something. May it be with prisoners or with mental institutes or children. I remember as a child being send to sit in the corner of the class room for speaking out of tern and thus missing the rest of the class room tome. Or by my parents being send to my room for being 'bad' - yet all I learned was that adults are stupid and I still do not understand their reasoning. So how was I to prevent in the future or at least understand to know my responsibility. As l only created more mental issues. And this kind of 'punishment' is actually a reflection of how we deal and live in our own prisons inside of ourselfs called the mind. And how we deal with ourselves inside of ourselves. Keeping everything in and punishing ourselves for the things inside of ourselves as thoughts feelings and emotions. Never rather pushing to expose and talk and gain perspective and understanding and supporting ourselves or others. its a matter of doing onto another as you would like to be done onto. Solitary confinement used as punishment is a reflection of how we are doing onto ourselves. We must change.

Day 523 - Thinking versus doing

 

 It seems that most of my life has been happening in my mind. I am always thinking about my potential and living it, I can see what I must do and live to achieve this utmost potential. But the thought of I am not ready yet always seem to catch me when I am unaware so I postpone the living till tomorrow. But this just becomes habitual and always end up in thought. Which in the future leads to me creating a relationship with myself of "I am a fuck up" a loser, I cant trust myself, I am worthless and useless. These believes aren't necessarily spoken or being thought of. They are more so implied in the act of postponing and not living my utmost potential. The further consequences of these actions are now me leading into destructive behavior. The opposite. Which leads to cool realization. Which is that the initial thoughts I had/ have of living my utmost potential were based on a polarity construct of positive and negative and so ot is for me to stop ALL thoughts and to forgive myself to participate in thoughts no matter how positive or negative they are and to instead focus on what is here as my practical living in each breath which is the utmost potential of me here.

Day 522 - Sadness

 

Sadness -I have grown up as most of us, to always live and show happiness and never to expose the sadness. As soon as sadness is shown or expressed people try and make you happy. Because sadness has been judged as wrong as bad as negative, thus it is feared to be and show sadness, you will become a party pooper or make others feel uncomfortable. So I learned to pretend. I became an expert at pretending to be just happiness. But the truth behind the smiles is this face. Because this face expresses Life on earth currently. While we party and be happy and keep pretending for the same of others, our lives are sad. We are bound to money, to be slaves to money in a system we keep alive but we here did not create it, we suffer and all life on this planet suffers for it and everything it truly sad. Yet we do not dare live this truth. But I have realized this truth, and because of this realization I am able to live in self honesty - that for real happiness, for my face to truly change - this world must change and I m7st actively take responsibility to change it and to truly create REAL happiness. Where no smile ever hides anything as we will in this new world know for a fact that all parts of LIFE is happy equally within their part of this Life. If we all can come to terms with realty and that it is sad. Perhaps then we can come together and say This is not how we would like to live life so lets fucking change it and bring true unchangeable happiness to this WORLD and all parts in it.

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