From my previous Blog - Day 467 – What have I been doing, while trying to reach my true potential?
“Every day when I wake up I have this small reaction, it is sitting in my solar plexus, it is undefined. I just excuse it and ignore it, hoping that later in the day I will not have this small reaction within me, hoping that there will be a good experience soon that will change this reaction and make it a different kind of a reaction, a more positive one. So I wake up and I get ready for the day, I immediately go out and I have some coffee and get to my work station.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up and have this small reaction within me to consider it as okay and nothing to focus on for now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush off the small reaction I have within me every morning that I wake up and to justify it as normal through accepting and allowing it and to walk my day in the anticipation for it to go away by itself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t given myself the ten minutes or so in the morning to actually breathe and to release the energy through real time self-forgiveness and livening it to take self-responsibility for the energy and to accept that I am experiencing it and that I have to deal with it and to see what it is that the energy is revealing about myself and my own creation within me and thus without.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear naming the energy, calling the energy out and the game that is being played and to within this play the game of ignorance and bliss.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot call out the energy and define it and to deal with it accordingly, and to instead keep it within me for some other time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that through not naming the energy and defining it I am deliberately leaving myself in an unpredicted state within direction, as I will keep falling back to the energy lurking within me, the reaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of dealing with the negative (defined) energy within me to instead go out seeking for the positive/opposite energy within my day, seeing and realizing that within this I am literally directing my entire day to seek out a positive energy in everything I do, and thus also limiting what I do in fear of not getting the positive energy that I am seeking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if I do not take self-responsibility for this negative experience within me, this reaction that the consequences will be that my entire dya will now be focused on feeling better as an energetic experience and thus not on what I must do as in what is practical and best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set the sequence for my day as that of being negative within accepting and allowing myself to ignore and brush off the reaction experience that I have within me after waking up, as the day will now be about me only doing things where I believe I will get a positive reaction from to make me feel positive, and thus also ignoring and brushing off all the other points that requires to be done within the day that I then FEAR will be a negative experience and thus postpone and compromise/sabotage myself and everyone that is linked to me, which in the long run is the entire universe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see it as possible to have a different morning without the reaction within me that I have had with me for the longest time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the morning that there will be no reaction within me when I wake, as the fear is that of what will direct me, give me a purpose of what to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the direction and the authority for my day and who I am in the morning as myself to walk as my day in the belief that I need energy to direct me.
I see and realize that I do not need energy to divert me or to determine what I can or cannot do, or should and should not do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear real freedom, freedom from any reactions or emotions/feelings/thoughts directing me, as I can see that this freedom comes with self-responsibility and self-honesty.
THUS I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divert myself from self-responsibility and self-honesty within the free will that I have to choose as choice and to choose, make a choice where I gamble instead of direct.
To be continued.
