Day 224 – The Apocalypse Battle of who is right and who is Wrong 21/12/12

I remember how I used to fight with my friends way back in 2006 about the world ending in 2012, I even made bets with them that they will be wrong and that the world will end, I had all these theories that made so much sense, I had evidence that back me up on the internet – such as videos and experts giving photos of stuff and math’s and reasoning.
I had no reason to doubt myself and that I was right, I felt anxious and fearful for my friends that they can be so ignorant and not see what I am saying, because someone else is saying it as well and there is proof, I used to talk to my friends about how the world will end in 2012.12.01 I had so many stories that I told them, they were mixed up but I somehow made sense of it all and put it together how I saw with reason in my mind how it will be possible.

It all started with Reptilians, my dad used to share with me information he red about reptilians and how the reptilians created man and how we were used for collecting gold so that the reptilians can fix their planet, something about the atmosphere and that their planet comes by every 3600 years, as they are on a different orbit.

I immediately felt inferior as I saw these massive reptile species that created us, they must have awesome technology to do what they did, I was I was also told that their planet that will pass again soon will have devastating effects on earth, even kill everything on earth as their planets magnetic field will pull our planet, and there was the theory that the reptilians will come back and kill out billions of people and take the planet for themselves and enslave the rest of the human race for their own purposes.

There was also the theory that the reptilians (aliens) will come and take some humans with them on their planet, and on this planet humans can grow older and live longer and explore space and do awesome stuff, but then there was also the theory that other alien races will come and save a view of the human race from the reptilians and these few chosen people must be “enlightened” only, be worthy.

Then there was the spiritual side to all of this – that the world will not just end in 2012-12-21 but that there will be a portal that will open or a dimensional shift happening on earth, and only the enlightened or people with high vibrations will be saved as these people will be able to go through to the next dimensional level while those that cant will simply die with the earth.

There was also Jesus and that he might come, and that the stuff in the Bible will come to life and only 144 000 people will be chosen to live while even the dead will rise to burn in hell or go to heaven, and that Satan and Jesus will fight in the skies with their demons and angels in the biggest battle earth has ever seen, and then Jesus/god will slain the devil and send him to hell, and that of course I have to be a good person to be one of the chosen ones to live.

Then there was the other one, the world will go into another Ice age and the poles will shift and Billions of people will die due to this as extremely low temperatures will occur everywhere on earth suddenly that will freeze the air immediately and kill anything that breathes, and that in this shift on those that have been smart enough to know how to survive will survive.

I was filled up with fear, I started preparing myself mentally and physically in my reality for any and all of these options that the world can end.

I started crating myself as the survivor character, I was spiritual, I was physically strong and ready, I was in a higher vibration, I knew how to apparently fight massive reptilian aliens and I red books on how to survive in the wild and how to make fire – I got knives and back packs and cross bows, I mentally pumped myself up, I was checking what foods I will store up for myself I started taking to my friends and they laughed, I went more into it all just to have that odd chance of telling them I told you so.

I started applying meditation, I applied for karate classes, I red up on aliens and spaceships, I watched a lot of videos on the internet to check how far is nibiru, how is global warming doing and what’s happening to the ice in the world. I really started obsessing with everything, all in the name of fear of death.
It became a game.

To be Continued.

Day 223 – Resistance to Learn from others.

I have had this Idea/Belief of myself that I must learn and discover and find things out for myself, I do this because I fear that if I learn it from someone I will only prove to myself that I can’t learn it myself, I am incapable of seeing what the other person is already seeing.

Thus I have created a resistance within me towards reading/ listening and learning from others, I have created a mental state of mind within myself where if I am learning form someone else through listening to them - and what they say makes complete sense (common sense) I only judge myself the whole time as being less than the other person.

When I do listen to someone through talking or reading their blogs, I feel that what I am reading cannot be taken serious because I did not get to those points all on my own, so I have learned to only use myself as cross reference within this world, which is pretty dangerous considering the implications of doing that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reading other peoples blogs within the belief that I cannot learn from them because I must and can only learn from myself or anything I do learn from others are completely useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear reading what others have to say and to learn from that within the fear of that I will not know what they are saying is correct or not as I haven’t walked all the points for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as being more and different from others and so fear that when I read their blogs I will not understand it and if it is right or not and that the material can be trusted, seeing and realizing that this is indicating to me that I am not clear within points in my life which I have been postponing to learn from others as I have the belief that I must learn it myself or it will not be real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear learning from others as I fear that what I will learn from them will and cannot be real as I haven’t learned it myself, experienced it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must experience something for it to be real, giving away my ability within using common sense and being self honest as I now rely on experience to teach me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for experience so that I can learn, seeing and realizing that waiting for experience is like waiting for a meteorite to fall on my head so that I can learn to always check what’s happening, seeing and realizing all it really takes is some common sense and self honesty and living in awareness in and as breathe and that experience isn’t required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reading and learning from others as I fear that if I learn or realize something from their blogs/vlogs that they will take away my opportunity to learn and experience it for myself. Seeing and realizing that this is me living in separation of others and not embracing others as me and thus walking the process together one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I am one being/one human and for me to wait to learn from experience will take millions of lives as there are millions of ways to learn even just one point, and thus it is to keep it simple, breath and be aware as all life within oneness and equality – thus seeing and realizing since we are billions of people on earth we can all learn from each other and make the process quicker and more sufficient for all to not to have to suffer through each and every fucking experience there can be/imagined.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Limit myself within constricting myself within learning from others within equality and oneness as me within the idea of separation.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself resist reading a blog to stop and breathe and to read the blog and to see why I resisted and if it is real or not, obviously it is never real that is the point, the resistance isn’t towards anything real, it is a self created limitation that one accept and allowed within self according to ideas/opinions/beliefs of the mind as energy movement within what you like or dislike, it is like perfect brainwashing and mind control.

I commit myself to breathe and read others blogs when and as I have the time and to watch the vlogs, to see if I am clear and that I am standing one and equal as the other being and to stop all forms of limitation such as the beliefs/ideas of separation that only create fear and to walk the process as the other as myself one and usual to be able to stand within all points of Life as that which is best for all life in all ways.

Day 222 - I am worthless in Conversations and Self Sabotage



A pattern that keeps on crawling out whenever I am in conversations, either within commenting or speaking, I go into defensive mode. Why do I always do it, I ask myself, I always fuck up the conversations I have when and as I respond to someone’s - well more of react, and then there is regret. Regret is when it is to late and the consequences is already here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to what other people say when and as I interact with them in conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to people within conversations I have with them within the expectation of that I will not be understood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to what other people say when and as I interact with them in conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start conversations with other people from the starting point of defending what I am saying, seeing and realizing that within this starting point I am showing other people thaat there is a point to attack.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to defend myself within conversations I have with people, seeing and realizing that this has a origin point of why I have a belief that I must defend myself always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that this pattern was created within my past as memories/experiences that I have had within the past that I have defined myself as.

Memory:

Here I see the general memory where as a child when and as I brought up issues or things within my life the people that looked after me simply shoved off whatever I said, because I am just a kid, I do not know what I am talking about, I just have to stay quiet, I have no say because the adults are talking, I am just me @gian@ and nothing more and thus my voice does not matter.

And through this I see how I have created the pattern of having to make things personal and dramatic and as it turns out it always only ended up being emotional conflict situations, I have through this learned to fear these situations because they always ended up only leaving me a loser or disappointed and not directing points, It became a battle of who wins and who loses and the prize was feeling good, empowered and like I have achieved something, yet it was actually to the contrary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shoved off as being irrelevant within conversations and to within this fear respond to people in conversations within a reactive way to make myself seem bigger and impose what I am saying onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a dramatic entrance into conversations to make myself bigger and to not be shoved off as being irrelevant and worthless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as worthless and not worthy to be part of conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a worthless component within the conversation on the topic I am participating within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and identify my word as being worthless within conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond within conversations from the fear of that my fears might come true as being seen as worthless and not worthy within the conversations taking place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have been reacting towards thoughts of fear within my mind that comes from memories/experiences of the past, seeing and realizing that as I react to the thoughts and then respond to them that I am re-creating the past in the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have created experiences/memories through past events as a child and a teenager that I have attached negative energetic emotions to that I have placed within my mind as something to fear and avoid, and to within this when and as I have the thought of where I see myself being brushed of as not being worthy and being worthless within the conversation to respond in a way that attempts to avoid me being seen as worthless and to within this make it a dramatic and personal conversation instead of sticking to common sense and what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I have experienced within the past within confrontational conversations must be who I am, seeing and realizing that I decide if that is so or not and thus I can stop and forgive myself and re-create myself and re-align myself within what is best for all life and re-design myself through removing the experiences and the energy connections I have made and to stop the thoughts when and as they come up and to not follow the thoughts as being real, as they are not.



Ok I am going to write out the pattern to see it, so that I can stop this self sabotaging pattern that isn’t best for me or all life, as what I am talking about and always responding about is the world and the problems and shining the light on that which people do not want to hear - equality and oneness as the solution.

Pattern.

I am sitting in front of my PC, I go on facebook to see what is happening, I see a link to a news website - I am curious to what is happening in the world today, I think of how ridiculous the news can be sometimes and how stupid people can be, I see it is a south African news website, I fear participating on south African websites in discussion, south Africans are so set in stone in their cultural and religious way there is no way to get through to them.

I go to the news website, I scroll down and look around to see what is happening, I see a article about animals, the heading is interesting, I click the link and I start reading the article, as I read the article I react to certain parts I am reading about, I react to how people view animals and the comments that people leave that is so inconsiderate towards animals, all they are is bags of meat to hunt and make money off, I get pissed and angry, I feel compelled to leave a comment, I do realize that I have reacted and that I must breathe and make sure that there is no emotional reaction when I comment, I breathe and start writing a comment. As i write the comment I find myself wanting to say to much, or that there is to much I have to say in a single comment, I fear if I leave something out people won’t understand and get what I am saying and that it will end up being a mess and conflict - I try and place as much information into one comment to cover most points. I find myself feeling like I am leaving something out - I start to lose my words and the comment becomes like many points in one even off topic - I have spend some time on this comment now, I need to get going, In the time rush I click post and the comment it there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach the news with a judgmental state of mind, instead of breathing and to be here and clear so that I can see direct here and not my own judgments that is limited to my own reactions and perception as the mind as knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people and how stupid they can be, seeing and realizing that this is me projecting my fear of people seeing me as stupid onto them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having conversations with people from my country as I have judge them a certain way and that I have set them in stone within my mind as being a certain way, seeing and realizing how I have limited myself to communicate effectively with others and all people due to the beliefs/judgments/ideas/opinions I have created of them within my mind as back chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I read articles to react to certain parts of the article, seeing and realizing that the reaction comes from where I have separated myself from the information and to within this write in response to the article in separation instead of one and equal as the article within that which is best for all life and not personal as a reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react within what I read/hear within a article/conversation to feel compelled to reply or leave a comment, seeing and realizing that this is me following the energy instead of breathing and clearing myself to write a response that is best for all life within consideration of hat is here in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I feel compelled to reply or leave a comment that I am actually following through in creating and manifesting what I fear as me not being worthy of the conversation, as the response will be of a reaction and making it personal because it comes from a thought/energy movement that will create resistance and make me seem like someone that is simply rambling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I feel a energy movement within myself within a conversation to say something to make a response to rely that the energy is seeking energy and not a solution that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify making conversation just because I felt compelled to do so as I have justified within my mind that because the feeling is so strong it must mean something, seeing and realizing that only I give it meaning and thus I create it, and that I can stop the feeling/energy and instead direct myself within commenting, where the commenting isn’t based on energy that is random and our bursting but as breathe stable and here and clear and within what is best for all life.

After a while I go back to check the comment, I see the comment has a lot of likes and even more dislikes and people posting their opinions, I fear people’s opinions - I belief personal opinions of people are dangerous and poisonous because I understand that they are all based on self interest and not real, yet everyone approves of it because it supports their own point of view.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear peoples opinions, seeing and realizing that I fear other people’s opinions because I have based my conversation on opinions instead of common sense and thus I give all opinions the power to overpower my opinion as I did not make my conversation based on what is best for all life where the conversation stands no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to respond to conversations/articles from the starting point of personal views as opinions instead of what is best for all life, as that which is best for all life will always stand and thus as I respond with my own personal opinions on the subjects I give away my authority within the conversation to stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I fear other people’s opinions as I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as opinion instead of standing as that which is best for all life within common sense and self honesty that is always best for all life.

I react to the opinions and all the people that supported the opinions, I write another comment that is now quite personal, this is where I make my mistake, yet I continue, I feel I have to be mean to get through to them, I press post, I realize my mistakes, it is too late and I realize I have lost this battle, I wasn’t standing within common sense and what is best for all life, it has become personal and reactive, now no one will hear or see but only fight and defend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I will create a battle within any or all conversations with people when and as I challenge their beliefs/opinions and thus it is not avoidable yet I can remain stable and not make it personal and worse which is giving the other people a second chance a new slate every time to also see what I am saying and stand with or re consider their beliefs/opinions that is based on self interest and not what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize fully that my words and what I write and say will have effects and consequences either way, either within what is best for all life or against life, thus I see it is important that I stand always within what is best for all life and to not create consequences that is against life as resistance or miss-information on the topics in conversations where I am not clear.

I tell myself I will not do that again, it is not cool and is only abusive to myself and sabotaging myself, it kills the opportunity to have conversation, there may be conflict but that is still part of the actual conversation, and not just reacting and defending the whole time from both sides.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through not breathing and instead react and respond to internal experiences within conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that conversations must not have any conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and avoid conflict within conversations and thus sabotage my words and compromise my stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and create conversations according to the desired outcome I want as a thought within my mind that is of the opposite of the fear I have, thus creating a internal struggle first within me of two polarities, seeing and realizing that all I have to do is breathe and remain here and always stand within what is best for all life and not follow internal experiences/reactions that is of self interest and not best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that all and any conversation is to win or lose, seeing and realizing that what is best for all life isn’t about winning or losing, it is to get the point across, regardless if the person listens or not, as long as the message is getting through and I stand within what I say as what is best for all life and the point isn’t open for debate of losing or winning, it is best for all life period, Yet I must stand clear within that what I speak and say is in fact best for all life and not my opinion.

Day 221 – on the farm.. Stuck in the mud and the Physical.


Today we had the Shit Truck coming to the farm to suck out all the Shit tanks, we have four shit tanks on the farm, only two got sucked out.
In the morning we have to open them up and have it all ready for when the truck comes - it can just lay its pipes into the shit tanks and suck it all out.
The truck did not have that much space on it to suck all the tanks, it could only do two and then it had space for five hundred liters more, so we wanted the truck to fill up as much as possible and make this one trip count, because they only come every six months or so.

The truck went to the back of our house to fill up the last bit of space it had left, I was busy with one of the Farm visitor closing up the second shit hole they just finished, we had some problems over there, the lid that closes the hole was broken in half and could not close properly, so I decided to focus on fixing that first while one of the other guys go and take care of the shit tank and getting the Job done.

While I was working on fixing the problem with the farm visitor, someone came to us and said we have a problem; I looked up and said what is it, the person said – the truck is stuck.

I thought by myself ok shit, well they will probably sort it out, how bad can it be. I heard how the others was looking for things to place underneath the wheels of the truck to give the truck so Grip to get out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Assume, seeing and realizing that instead of assuming I can ask or go check myself as I see and realize that the assumption was already a response from the reaction of me not wanting to deal with the problem and assuming makes it okay/justifiable in my mind for myself.

I then told the farm visitor I have to go see how stuck this truck is – because I realized I was assuming the situation and leaving it to others to deal with – I decided that the truck being stuck is a bigger problem then a broken lid and thus it must be prioritized, so I stood up, threw down my hat and I went to look.

As I got to the area where the truck is stuck, I saw the back wheels sinked into the ground, it wasn’t that bad from what I could see, as I walked to the other side of the truck I saw the left front wheel was almost completely sunken into the ground and even the bottom part of the truck was on the ground, I then had a fright within me as I realized the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and be afraid of situations I am un familiar with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must respond to situations in fear as it will get me going, not seeing and realizing that the fear actually limits me within dealing with the situation properly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I reacted in fear towards the situation because of the justifications/assumptions I made up in my mind about the situation as reasons to not deal with it before and now that I see the situation for real I get a wake up call.

I saw that I made the situation BIGGER then myself in that moment, I breathed and realize I have to ACT and not react to the situation, because no matter what I experience within me it is completely irrelevant to what needs to be done, Get the fucking truck out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make situations I am un familiar with Bigger than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself Immediately as being un-able/incapable of dealing with new situations that seems big.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the fact that the only reason I had the fear was because I feared that the situation might cost us money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest with myself in that moments, that the fear I experiences was that what is happening might cost money and that I might have to pay for it, seeing and realizing that I am limited within being controlled by money as what I can do or can not do dependent if it will cost or save me money, seeing and realizing that yes we do not want to spend money on getting the truck out as it isnt a necessary option, thus it isnt to fear the point but to be able to avaid such a point is an option that is preferred since we live in a world where everything is about money, even if your truck gets stuck in mud, how fucking sad.

So for the next couple of hours, about 8 hours - we struggled, we made one attempt to get it out and it did not get out, I was feeling that it might be stuck for good, that we might have to get a crane out and lift the thing, that would have been the worst case scenario, it cost a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the worst case scenario.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have created within my mind the worst case scenario as where money must be spend, seeing and realizing that this is typical side effect of living in a world where everything is about money, and how this wold controls everyone with the fear for/of money and losing it as we accept and allow our lives to depend on money.

WE basically got a shit load of bricks and two jack’s to lift the truck, and we got Big concrete blocks and two Heavy metal plates to use to try and get the truck out, we had to do little by little, jacking up the back and then the front and then as we jack it up, the concrete blocks or metal plates sink into the ground, some cracked, some parts of the truck actually bent and cracked from the jacking, there was limited space and un even ground and the ground was soft, so we had to create space, we had to lift the truck up and place bricks way underneath the wheels, so it can get out of the holes it made and get some grip.

We also got the tractor out with a Big chain, we hooked the chain to the truck and the tractor so the tractor can pull the truck, this failed the first time.

I got sun burn again – the day before I got sunburn and now again over the old sunburn, I am usually brown the next day and no side effects at all besides getting a tan, it is simply red and hot and that’s about it, I got covered in lots of little pieces of poo and shit tank water that splashed onto me and I was quite dirty.

WE were busy with the truck the whole fucking day, we were running out of time, massive clouds came over our heads with some thunder, the truck was still stuck with heaps of bricks we collected stacked underneath it, we just continued doing the only thing we could do, jack it up and place bricks in, and we repeated this with a lot of struggling, those fucking concrete slabs are massive and we have to get them underneath the truck so that we can put the even heavier metal plate on top of it so that we can put the (20t capacity) truck jack on it so we can lift it, if we did not do that the jack would simply break the concrete blocks and go into the ground from the trucks weight, so we had to do that every time we switched the jack.

We were five men, the guy that drove the truck and his working partner and then me and two other guys on the farm.

We were a great team all of us together, we all took leading positions at any point in time that someone saw what needs to be done and we voiced ourselves out with nothing holding back, because in this situation there is no time for fear and insecurities to hold  back from saying what needs to be said so we can fucking move and get the job done before time runs out and the storm hits us or it gets dark – and everyone else saw the same point, every time someone suggested something the group considered what was said, each one gave their point and input of common sense and then it would be agreed on with what is most practical and apply it, it worked, and we got moving, we checked out for each other while working, reminding and showing dangers and considerations, not holding back because of stupid social brainwashing crap such as beliefs like " who’s truck it is, they strangers and they must be having the say and control or we haev to be polite the whole time, being polite takes time and lots of side roads instead of to the point, then they might have been dead or we might have never gotten the truck ou.

It was a interesting day, I have learned a lot from this and seeing how the physical works – it seemed in my mind like this easy task that needs to be done, but once we started it felt like a never ending story.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at physical events within my mind and How it might play out and to within this not consider that the mind is not real and only beliefs/ideas/opinions based on self interest as energy where the mind takes physical reality and create it according to oneself beliefs/ideas/opinions with the mind, seeing and realizing this can be be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the mind instead of checking with the physical for real to see what is real and here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself within believing that I can intemperate what a physical situation in fact will be with my mind which is of energy and based on my own interpretation/perception of the physical reality based on my education as my beliefs/ideas/opinions which is always not in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my perception of reality is limited due to what is only existent within my mind through how I have experienced the physical, thus seeing and realizing that the physical isnt an experience, it is Life and real and always the same as how everyone in fact share this reality and live function within it.

the physical has laws and they are set in stone. We have to obey these laws and work with them one and equal to get the truck out, this opened me a lot to seeing what is here, taking direct action and point in doing what I suggest, being willing to do what I suggest and applying it practically, to see that if I suggest something does it really make sense, because if it doesn’t and I apply it, there will be mistakes and more consequences. So I had to really see and consider the physical and not my mind, because my mind is but a interpretation/idea/belief mixed with energies of what the physical is, and this makes it dangerous. I breathed.

We got the truck out at about 5pm, this is quite late and everyone was tired, all day in the sun, one big mess was left once the truck was gone, we now have to redo the shit tanks over flow and many other things.

The one thing that got me to be effective today was the simple realization that anything in my mind isn’t real, any experience isn’t real, so I might as well not have them and let them influence my application and just fucking do what needs to be done. And whala.

Because the only way I knew that we could get that massive 6 ton truck out of the mud was if I am not limited by what I like or dislike. Otherwise I would not have been there if I followed such brainwashing. I breathed and I put my hands to what needed to be done, no time was wasted because I did not hesitate within what I felt like doing or not doing, I just did it.

Day 220 - How thoughts create Physical reality.


how does thoughts create physical reality we are living in, the first thing to consider is that we are lucky we live and are physical, because in the physical reality everything takes place in space and time, Thoughts does not over space and time manifest either, thoughts are existent within each human alone, each human has their own thoughts that they have and participate within, if and when we follow these thoughts that generate energetic experiences as being real we do things in our daily life's in response to the thought as a reactions.

we can though this understanding see and actually trace back how rapists and murderers create themselves though participating within thoughts, and within this we can see that the simple act of participating within any and all thoughts are one and the same, the thoughts might be different but they both are the same, its a thought that has a energy attached to it either positive or negative.

We cannot say thoughts are good or bad, we can simply say, they are not real and participating within them create consequences no one is aware of because no one understands how thoughts are created, where do they come from and when you have thoughts where is it taking place.

This makes thoughts dangerous and not best for all life, the world as we know it today is the evidence of how the human has been following thoughts as illusions to be real, as our fears/insecurities and self interest. This shows that no matter who you are, if we continue to participate within thoughts as energy as organic robots that respond to these thoughts as the data that has been programmed into us to follow, anyone can be a murderer and a rapist at any time, all it requires is the right input. Because no one is educated on how thoughts work and function in detail.

We are controlled and enslaved to them and follow them like zombies chasing mindlessly after living flesh for the sake of consuming.

I suggest that to understand what I am talking about in much more detail, listen to the interview How thoughts create Physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have been participating within thoughts all my life without questioning what thoughts are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as a baby I did not have any thoughts and that through this realization see and realize that thoughts are a sign of mental illness and not normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept and allow thoughts to be normal and part of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thoughts are a byproduct of bad education where as I child I wasn’t taught how to breathe and handle situations/experiences and thus created a disease within me as thoughts as undirected points within my me/life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and trust thoughts to be real without even questioning myself where does the thought come from and how exactly does a thought work in detail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question and ask why do I have thoughts and what are they made of and where do they come from and why do I have them to those that has gone before me – as I have seen that I do not understand anything about thoughts yet I accept and allow it to direct my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow thoughts to be me from when I was a child simply because No ONE ever talked about thoughts and that i might have then and what to do with them and how to deal with them and to be left alone with thought in my mind in deep secret all alone to do with it what I want when I do not even understand what thoughts are and how it creates physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to believe that thought are normal and part of life simply because no one ever talked about it as I started developing thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the educational system that is apparently educating the human yet I have never in my life received any education on how a single thought works/functions and comes from in my entire educational years in school – yet it is/was thought that drove me and my life as one of the most important points in my life and I knew nothing about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thoughts drive what the human does through two simple energetic points that it charges up as Like and dislike as positive and negative and to see and realize that this makes every single human a danger to himself and everyone else as all that is required for a person to become a rapist or murderer or a serial killer is a simple put either in the positive direction or negative direction through charging the thoughts existent within each human that has been left to each human for himself in secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that all thought are the same, if it is a serial killers thoughts or a rapists thoughts or a monks thoughts or a priests taught – they are either positive or negative and that both polarities support each other as there is no other way possible, and that within this every single human is standing on a very thin line between being either god or bad in any given moment as all that is required for the human to change in a single moment is a change of thought that will and can be motivated by environmental forces or the person himself dependent on the environment and education the person received and the fact that the human hasn’t bee educated on what a single thought is and how it works we are all slaves to thoughts and a good slaves we will follow through on them when the moment is right and thus un-able to be self responsible for ourselves in each and every breathe.


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Day 219 – The Mirrors of Competition for Survival of energy and Money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as the body with all its organs and cells and everything the body consists of is the same with the earth as being one body with many different parts, and that to participate within self interest when sharing and living on the exact same body/earth is stupidity and can only lead to destruction and abuse, as I can see that within the body all the cells and the hart and the liver does not compare themselves to each other or compete with each other or judge each other or themselves because if they had to then the body will stop functioning and DIE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that earth is one Body and that all Life on earth of and as the one body is like the cells and organs and everything the human body consists of and that the only way the body can function and LIVE is when all these parts live in oneness and equality with each other and so the same for the earth as the humans and the plants and the animals and the rocks and the ocean and the sky and the clouds an everything here one earth as part of the earth body must function one and equal for the body to continue forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we as the human race is like cancer in the body here on earth where we group together in cities and from there on consume and destroy everything around the cities till we kill the body/earth as a cancer, and that this is only possible because we are one body as the earth competing with itself and judging itself and comparing itself to itself for the sake of self interest and energy/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize to group up in groups to survive and feel powerful for the sake of self interest and energy consumption within the world is like the body of the human having cancer where the bodies cells are attacking the own body through grouping together and that this is absolute stupidity and not best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that like my own body I am not just me within and as my body, but that I as my body consist of Billions of other beings each having their own forms and uniqueness with specific tasks that must be applied and functioning together one and equal for my body to be able to be breathing, and so I see this applies exactly the same for earth as being one body and that on earth as a living body – here are billions of different species/beings and natural systems that is supposed t function just like the body one and equal for the body to function, yet this is not lives as we the humans are like cancerous cells that seek self interest and energy that have decided to stop what we do as part of the body for the body to function one and equal with effectiveness and perfection and instead revolted against the body in fear of survival as the current money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how stupid free choice and free will is within this world as a concept people have that they have all the right in the world to have, yet we do not wish for each and every cell in our bodies to have their own free will and choice or we would cease to exist – yet we are willing to apply free will and choice not considering just like our own bodies we will have the exact same effect on the one body called earth we all share – destruction/death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Judging myself in the mirror of myself as good or bad is like a cell in my body judging itself for being bad or good, and to not see and realize that if my cells in my body had to act as I do that my body will not function as I will develop cells that believe they are not good enough or better than other cells and within this develop problems in my body where some cells will fight each other, bully each other and even kill each other such as cancer, and that the same goes for me living on earth and how the consequences will play out in having a world that does not function as the cells/humans are pre occupied with judging themselves instead of Living as the physical as what we are in fact – Humans and not the judgments and this way function as one body that is one and equal in its function and thus perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to compare myself to others is self abuse, using the example of my body I see and realize that if my organs had to compare themselves with each other that I will die, because each organ has its own function and how it look is according to their practical placement and function and that if the hart had to compare itself to the lungs that my hart might start a war with my lungs and die, yet this is not happening and that is why my body is alive and functioning - as the hart and the lungs does not have mind consciousness systems such as I do within my mind. Thus they function as the physical within the principal of what is best for all as the body in all ways and not within self interest. thus I see and realize that is why the world is in war/destruction and chaos because we are one body yet we are fighting ourselves as the same body because of things happening in our minds as self interest and seeking energy to consume to feel things, instead of breathing and living what is best for all life in all ways as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I mirror myself to myself when standing in front of a mirror, that it is NOT the physical body that judges or mirrors itself to itself, it is only the mind that is being mirrored, seeing and realizing that all judgment isn’t real but of the mind, using the practical application of closing my eyes when standing in front of a mirror I see that my body does not judge what is reflected in the mirror as I do not see anything that the mind wants to judge, compare and compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that competition isn’t part of LIFE using the example of my body as a design/creation of Life to see what is here and real, that if my body had to compete with itself, that I will die, if the hart with its own unique function to the body had to compete with the lungs to its own unique function within the body which makes them one and equal within their functionality within what is best for all life as the body, not matter their sizes/shapes/colors they cannot compete or they will fail and the body will stop functioning, seeing and realizing that within the current world we as the human race has been taught to compete and judge and compare as if it is natural, yet not seeing and realizing that what is natural is for all to live equal and one here as our body/earth as how our own bodies function. and to compete will only create disease and destruction and a body that cannot function as one and equal in its functionality to sustain life, as each human forgets it custodianship to its body/earth and instead compete to see who is better or weaker to simply have a energy feeling/emotion to sustain the illusion of the mind that each being of the same body is not of the same body but separate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that how my Human body functions is natural, and that within how my human body functions I can see that the mind isn’t real as the mind isn’t required for the body to be here and functioning, as the mind only create separation as competition/judgments/comparisons and in the end a body that is trying to divide itself and destroy itself for the sake of money/energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question the obvious – why is it that the world is advertising and promoting self judgment/competition/comparison and self interest when it is in fact clear that we are one body.

I commit myself to show that anyone can use their own human physical bodies to see and check for themselves what is natural and what is not within how the body functions, as the body isn’t one unit only alive by itself, but that the body is in fact Billions of tiny beings that live together one and equal within the principal of what is best for all life and not within self interest, so that the body can function and Live, and that this principal that our bodies is existing as right now must be applied as the natural way, as our natural bodies is showing us, here on earth within how we as the humans life, to change our ways practically to life what is best for all life in all ways – to do onto another as we would like to be done onto, no one wishes it upon themselves that their cells have self interests and want to develop personalities with the ideas of free choice and free will and then our bodies suddenly spontaneously com-bust into billions of pieces, yet we are doing this to our body/earth as we are supposed to be like the white Blood cells of earth taking care of our body one and equal.
 

Day 218 - Equal through Substance.

I watched a movie once, I cannot remember what the movies name was but it was a girl talking to her dad about life, the dad said everything that is here is made out of atoms, and that atoms are very tiny and we cannot see it without bear eyes, the girl then said – so that means i am the same as a fish? The dad laugh and said yes I guess that is what it means, how this simple fact can be seen by a girl but not adults. And why do we then separate ourselves from all life in our minds through opinions/beliefs/ideas/perception name it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we are all of the same substance simply in different expressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am any different from any other life “form” here on earth, seeing and realizing that it is simply the form that is different yet the substance of which every consist of is the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have separated myself from all life that is here ONLY within my mind, which isn’t real, and within this I have acted in separation of life as if I am more and special and unique, leaving a world of abuse and evil in my tracks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if we take everything in existence and we squish it all together that we will all be one and of the same substance, thus there is no real separation but only the mind attempting to be more and special which leads to a world of abuse and evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am separate from all life that is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the attempt to be more and better then life that is here as the physical within separating myself from life here within my mind - and to within this live in fear of everything that is here as apparently being separate of me always out to get me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that separation is impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the obvious that when all things die we all return to the exact same form of the same substance and thus we face each other as ourselves and what we have and are doing to all life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that separation must end within the realization that it is only a delusion of the mind and not real so that we can stop creating hell on earth and create a Eden that is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that separation must end with each one as who we are as the WHO I AM and to within this see what we have and are doing here on earth and to stop and stand together to create a new world that is best for all life through the Equal Money System that is based on the principal of oneness and equality – what is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the one thing all humans have in common as Money that exist here on earth is the one thing that is separating us from each other and creating the fear we all share daily that leads to survival and self interest and so hell on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize - that which is keeping the separation in tact as the neo apartheid of Money is also the solution to bringing about a world that is best for all life through sharing and stopping the system of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we as the human race is actually only harming ourselves as all life is equal and one of the same substance and that there isn’t in fact any reasonable logical explanation to why we are abusing yourself yet we are doing it, this must stop with ending that which pretends to be separate see we can see with our real eyes and realize ourselves as life one and equal.

I commit myself to show that all life here is in fact of the same substance and that it is actually common sense.

I comment myself to show that what we as the human race is doing to life is in fact us harming and abusing ourselves as substance.

I commit myself to show that what we as humans are doing in fear and for the sake of self interest and survival aren’t necessary, as we are actually trying to survive against ourselves as substance instead of co-existing/sharing as one and equal.

I commit myself to show that the separation we belief we are is only in the mind and what is in the mind is but an illusion and a delusion we are living and that through stopping the fear and the survival game of the current money system we can see what is here and what is real as ourselves as LIFE one and equal as substance and that this is only possible through creating s new system that will support all life one and dual and to fix what we have already and still are doing with the suggested new system being the Equal Money System based on the principal of doing what is best for all life in all ways one and equal.


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