Breaking Inner and OuterBoundaries - Day 658



The word for the day for me is BOUNDARIES

My horror scope is Aries and in the word boundARIES there is this Aries, typically a symbol of a RAM, and its ruling planet is MARS, it is the element of FIRE.

BOUNd is a leaping movement towards or over something.

Now boundaries is lines marking the limits of an area, a dividing line.

So, here we have this word with two words in it, the two words within it is that of BREAKING the word they together form/make. A RAM will break boundaries and ram into it, push it, get itself on the other side, and it will do so with the movement of bound, leaping towards it or over it.
What I am doing here with this word is - I am looking at what it is opening up for me at the moment while exploring it real time here. like reading Osho cards.

What comes up within me, I see that I have the COURAGE to when I see boundaries within me that I have created towards other people, how to interact with them, and when and howto BOUND over that line, take that step to go talk to them, interact, open up what I define as "intimate" moments, YET I disregard the courage, I rather take the RAM inside of me that can easily BOUND to something new and maintain the boundaries.

I do this, as I see within me that I have a "missing piece" so to say. I do not KNOW how to be, who to be, what to say when real things open up, emotional things, I fear the worst will and can happen such as someone breaking down, and I am then to blame for breaking the boundaries and so opening the flood gates, and this leads to me instead remaining lame, not moving.

I then have this Energy (Inner G) that builds up of accumulated rage, as the couRAGE to break boundaries is denied, that then needs direction, and this is where I then become the RAm breaking the wrong boundaries so to say, boundaries that are unnecessary to break and that leads to consequences.

This is where the RAM as a MAR(S) planet comes out (mars resembles WAR) and I declare war onto myself, as I am now fighting with myself, to break the boundaries that matter that requires actual courage, versus the easy boundaries that I break out of rage that only causes self-harm and more diminishment of myself.

The reason being, I know that the boundaries I need to break with people will actually matter, not just for the sake of moving forward, but to actually support and assist each other as equals, and not just on face value. This is what matters, realness within self-honesty.

So now, I must whenever I see a point within me, where there is a window, a moment to BOUND myself forward as the RAM of Aries to LEAP over the resistance and to go into the "unknown to learn intimacy, softness, to get rid of the programmed war machine within myself, and so others.

Thus I must break the word boundaries first as in it isn't real, to then unleash the potential words to live as BOUND and the ANIMAL ram, to ram forward into actual growth and potential.

When I think about what others think about me Day 657



When we THINK about what OTHERS are thinking about US, we must realize the obvious within such a moment, we are in fact thinking it about ourselves what we think others think about us, as it is happening in our heads.

For a long time in my life, and even still today, I had the thought and a consistent perception within ME that others see me, and think of me, not so clever, bright/smart.

I used to apply self-forgiveness in a way that validated MY thinking, where I would say I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by what others think of me" - this is in fact BLAME and revealed how little I understood.

How in the first place do I know what others are thinking of me in their minds? I am not a mind reader, I can not see thoughts, and how important do I think I am that if I could see peoples thoughts, that their thoughts would be about me all the time?

Secondly, When I look at it for real, I am the one thinking about myself all the time, thinking and thinking, about myself, and I am the one thinking about how stupid/dumb I am, as I am the one constantly in my mind comparing myself to others, making myself MORE than others as to hide the comparison that I see myself as LESS than.

Thus, my self-forgiveness (when I catch myself in such thoughts of what others are thinking about me) should be - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am dumb/stupid - this way taking it back to myself, and as you can see, a LOT more opens up for me to work through and actually move forward within my process as myself.

I write this #backtoself as a reminder for myself and others that when we have thoughts about others when we think what others are thinking about us, we must realize the obvious, it is happening within us, and it is US and we must take responsibility accordingly.

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