Day 523 - Thinking versus doing

 

 It seems that most of my life has been happening in my mind. I am always thinking about my potential and living it, I can see what I must do and live to achieve this utmost potential. But the thought of I am not ready yet always seem to catch me when I am unaware so I postpone the living till tomorrow. But this just becomes habitual and always end up in thought. Which in the future leads to me creating a relationship with myself of "I am a fuck up" a loser, I cant trust myself, I am worthless and useless. These believes aren't necessarily spoken or being thought of. They are more so implied in the act of postponing and not living my utmost potential. The further consequences of these actions are now me leading into destructive behavior. The opposite. Which leads to cool realization. Which is that the initial thoughts I had/ have of living my utmost potential were based on a polarity construct of positive and negative and so ot is for me to stop ALL thoughts and to forgive myself to participate in thoughts no matter how positive or negative they are and to instead focus on what is here as my practical living in each breath which is the utmost potential of me here.

Day 133 – Living Commitment – Day 5 of 21.

That first moment when I wake up in the morning, this is the moment I decide the whole day, it is a decision I make in the morning when I wake up – a day filed with thoughts and emotions/feelings or Breath.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up to think about the Day already and to within this create an emotional experience that I connect to the day ahead based on the previous day, realizing that I am within this re-creating the past in the present and the future which includes all the past memories/experiences and thoughts and feelings/emotions and thus I am only living in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up in the past through allowing the first thing I do in the morning to be a rush of thoughts, instead of breathing and being here, where I decide ine ach breath the moment within what is best for all life, where no thoughts feelings or emotions is needed – that only compromise and sabotage my day and my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assassinate my day with a thought in the morning instead of breathing and remaining here as self movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need to have a thought in the morning that creates and energetic experience either as a emotion/negative or a feeling/positive to motivate me to move and get things done that will only lead to more and more feelings/emotions building up as the thoughts accumulate and the back chat is loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake to think about my next move instead of simply breathing and moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up about the amount of sleep I got in, and to within this accepting and allowing “thought” I accept and allow all thoughts within me and that they may be here, instead of breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up in a certain experience of myself due to a dream I had to give into the experience and to think about it and to wake and walk within and as this experience, realizing that if I do not take self responsibility for and as the experience through breathing through it and to stabilize myself as breathe I have already decided my whole day as the experience of myself in that one moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that ONE thought in the morning will determine my entire day if I do not take self responsibility for the thought as Breath and to stop, as the one thought is like a switch that activates the whole mind consciousness system within me and that over takes the body as energy and that directs my whole day when accepted and allowed as automated, instead of me breathing and taking back me here as the breathe so that I direct my day and who I am and what I do in each breathe as that which is best for all life in all ways within self movement and not as a robot that just got a Mission (thought) programmed into him to act/move/direct a certain way according to how it/I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept the thoughts that I have in the morning and to see them as harmless and that it will pass once I am more awake and into my day, realizing that this is exactly the though pattern that creates the rest of my day, as I participate within my day seeing and hoping that everything will pass later on and I will get through the day in time by itself, and thus I have the belief/idea that I do not have to take self responsibility because it will pass eventually, yet it does not it is actually creating my day and how I experience my day and most of the time it is always the same as the day before, realizing that this is so because of the same pattern/thoughts I accept and allow in the morning, instead of breathing.

I commit myself to when and as I wake up to Breathe through and thoughts/feelings/emotions that is here till I am stable and that I am moving me as breathe in self awareness.

I commit myself to when and as I wake up to not jump out of bed or to crawl out of bed according to how I feel, but to instead – open my eyes and take a deep breath and to keep breathing and from and as the breath to move myself in awareness here as the physical as me the body in full awareness that I am creating my day as how I experience myself and what I accept and allow.

I commit myself to when I wake up to first breathe and to when and as I see any thoughts/memories/projections/beliefs/ideas about the day coming up to forgive myself and to not accept and allow any of those to influence me and my breath where I ma in the eye of the storm in silence and darkness with myself and to Life that which is best for all life as me as the director creating it and to not repeat day after day the same day.

Dreaming about Snakes – deception within.

I Dreamed about Snakes – deception within.

I had a dream today, it was quite intense, It felt like it was happening for real, when I woke up I actually wondered if some of the stuff happened for real and then I dreamed about it or was it all only in the dream.

Basically I dreamed about a lot of snakes being on the farm.

I was walking towards the shed when I notices snakes everywhere, my first reaction was I have to catch them, they were big and they were many colors, some were red with black spots, some were yellow with black spots and some were green with black spots, this is how I saw them, but when they started coming after they changed, they became one color, they were green when they chased me, and they were Black Mambas.

Now black mambas are extremely dangerous and will most probably kill me in real life if they had to bite me.

So as I saw the snakes I was in fear, How am I going to catch these guys, they are massive and they are actually coming for me, like it was their intention for being on the farm.

I ran to the shed to find something to use to catch them, I could not find anything, I then saw a net, a big one, It had a weird design thought, it was in the shape of an L, the handle was bent, so I could walk with the net in front of me as if covered my width, and a good height.

So I started going after the snakes with this net, There was no choice they were coming for me if I wanted to run or hide it did not matter, so I decide to try and catch them, it was a 50/50 situation, they can at any moment get a bite at me and its over or I can catch one at a time and get rid of them.

I got my first one in the net and I did not know what to do with him, he is big and dangerous, he escaped and went into the shed and to the back of the shed (as we call it the dungeon) it is dark with lots of stuff stored in there, the snake got away in hiding in all the stuff.

I knew there was no way I could get the snake now, because if I have to search in there the snake can just bite my hands as I work there.

So I went back outside to fight/catch the rest of the snakes.

My biggest concern was all the other people and their lives being in danger, as I precieved them all to be unable to handle the snakes.

I then noticed a hole in the ground with a huge red snake with black dots laying in the hole, like it was a nest that has been there for ever, I just never saw it till it broke open.

Then a Girl came out of the house and walk right over this nest, I had a fright and said, HEY WATCH OUT FOR THE SNAKES, the girl did not hear me as I screamed, she kept on walking with a smile and looking at the plants.

I was in high stress mode and not knowing what to do with all the snakes, I then woke up and started looking at the symbolism of the dream and taking it all back to me and what bit showed me about myself.

This will be discussed in the next Part to come, stay tuned.

Day 52 – There must be something more out there.

Day 52 – There must be something more out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire for something more out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what is here as being insignificant, realizing that I am only judging myself and who I am as not being enough, thus searching for it out there in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being significant and thus all that is here as LIFE as not being enough and so create the desire/want/need for something more OUT there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here in the search for something out there.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that what is out there or what is here is the same as I will always remain with myself, thus realizing it does not matter what is out there as being more as I will still remain with me within my own self judgments that caused the desire to seek something out there to make me more, to make me feel more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that LIFE HERE can not be all that life is, realizing that I have separated myself from LIFE as all LIFE HERE and so I am not even aware of all that is here through seeking for something more out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed by T.V and media to belief that there is something more than just my life and that I ma insignificant if I do not find that something more, creating a life or rushing and of seeking the whole time, Missing Life here as who I am in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that only within the mind where we create alternate dream worlds can we create what is here as not being enough, as we seek this better life, this life that is more constantly till death, only to realize we never lived and only seek.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the false images that the TV and Media portray as “THE LIFE” that we must all try and achieve to live, realizing that this is part of the game to keep people enslaved to their minds in search for something more than what life is here as who we ARE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as long as we are all enslaved within a capitalism system where some must have nothing for others to have everything to achieve a different life that we create in our minds as dreams and fantasies is only a lie until we change the system to a money system that is best for all life where all life can achieve a better life at the same time such as the equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live a glamorous life just to hide who I am and not having to face who I am as LIFE as all LIFE as I know money is the key to life and thus realizing that giving money to all equally is the only way for a real life where all life has a dignified life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that there is a better life for everyone within a capitalism system, realizing capitalism is based on self interest and it is not within everyone self interest that all life has equal living as it will take away what those has that has more than half the worlds fair share in resources and money.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that as long as I search for a better life out there while being in a capitalism system I have been brainwashed through TV and the media to remain enslaved in hopes and dreams to a money system that only ever helps the few already in power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if some could have made a better life for themselves out there then so can i, not realizing that this is part of the enslavement game that the elite plays to give false hope and fantasies to people in poverty or a not so good life to always stay where they are hoping, dreaming and just working their asses off to make more money for the elite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blind to the truth of Capitalism within false  images within my mind as brainwashing through TV and the media that is constantly portrayed into our brains to keep us enslaved to a system that is designed for only a few to feast of the many.

I commit myself to show an reveal that any and all dreams and hopes of a better life within capitalism is part of the enslavement to keep people doing what they are doing and to work harder and harder and make money for the elite,

I commit myself to show that everyone is working their asses off daily within a system that promises a better life, yet no one sees that it is impossible for everyone to have a better life within capitalism and that this is part of the enslavement to keep people working to make money for the few that already have billions.

I commit myself to show and reveal that TV and the media is part of the brainwashing where they portray perfect pictures in the movies and TV series to show people what they can have the whole time, while the rich clearly knows it is impossible for all to have what they have and thus they do it deliberately to keep people enslaved to their games. 

I commit myself to show that only within an equal money system can all have a great amazing life as all the resources will be equally distributed between all people and that only through stopping Capitalism can we all achieve the dream we all have, a better life where we can live life instead of fighting and struggling and working out asses of for it, and to show that such a system is possible this life if we stand together and end the brainwashing and mind control within yourself.