Day 305 – Directing Tiredness Commitment Statements Part 3

Day 303 – Directing Tiredness  Part1
Day 304 - Directing Tiredness Part 2

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am forcing myself to be awake when I am tired, to instead see if there is time to take a nap and to set my alarm for a small period of time to nap and to take the nap and to get the tiredness out of the way so that I can move forward within my day to be effective and sufficient within applying myself with the daily activities that is still to be done.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into the thought of “seeing myself still having to do so much” to stop and to breathe and to move myself to do things and to not be “set Back” in getting things done through holding onto the thought of what still needs to be done within me feeling tired, seeing and realizing how this makes the tiredness much worse and how I then resist standing up even more to get things done, seeing and realizing how this then turns into me just sitting around, not napping or doing anything constructive but wasting time.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself wasting time because I have the Idea that I am to tired to do anything to instead Stop and to pick myself up and to breath and to move myself to see if it is me being tired or me making myself tired from thinking what still needs to be done.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking about what needs to be done to stop and to breathe and to ask myself a really self honest question, why am I thinking about what still needs to be done instead of doing it, seeing and realizing that the thinking part is what is making me tired and not me actually doing it lol.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking about doing something to stop and to breathe and to see that the thinking part is me projecting what needs to be done that this is done within comparison to what I have already done and thus overwhelming myself in the mind when in fact the actual physical reality of it is much less then what I am making it to be in my head.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself not using my Time in a constructive way to stop and to breathe and question what I am actually doing and why I am wasting my time and to within that be self honest with myself and to then direct myself according to the un deniable common sense that comes up.

I commit myself to when and as I feel that I am tired and cannot focus to give myself that hour of sleep that I know will work and have me fresh for the next four hours to be as effective and focused as I can be to do what needs to be done as I have proven to myself in the past through doing this.

I commit myself to investigate all point everyday when I experience myself as tired and to be self honest within the questioning and answering and to find the common sense and self honesty within breathing and to not just always go for the sleep first and or to not just go for the pushing myself first but to be clear on what happening and to understand myself and what I am doing so that I can stop and purify each point till I am clear and my starting point is clear.

Day 304 Directing tiredness Part 2

Day 303 Directing tiredness Part1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am tired to judge myself as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not breathing when and as I experience myself as tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the thought of seeing myself still having to do so many things yet I am tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see the thought of all the things i still need to do but I am tired to react ad judge myself as weak for being tired when I still need to complete many tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a opinion of myself of “I am better then this” and to from this opinion as a judgment as an Idea I have of myself that I desire to be of myself to then react and fear that I am and will never be it as I am currently tired and do not see myself passing the point of tiredness and becoming the Ideal me of not being tired and being able to move and get things done.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself f to judge tiredness as a weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge not getting tired as something that is amazing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as being weak and useless when and as they claim to be tired and I am not, and to within this then have a bad reaction when and as I am tired within the fear of being like the others and that they will now judge me as I have judged them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being unable to push through a point such as being tired to be in a place of breathing and never being tired, seeing and realizing that to NEVER be tired is currently impossible as the physical does require sleep and thus my goal is a fantasy and not a reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can work full day all the time with no rest and that I will still be unstoppable to get to all my tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that taking a little nap is giving into weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I must look at my physical reality and what is here and what I am doing and then to do the actual in fact math to see where4 have I been, in the mind or actually doing something to see where my tiredness is coming from, as that will determine if I can actually breathe through it and get here, or if the breathing will become a mindfuck for suppressing something that is real and only compromising myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being tired as ONLY a limitation, not seeing that being tired is a sign that I need to rest to be affective again in all aspects of my life once rested.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself.
To be continued.

Directing Tiredness Part 1 - Day 303

I have been tired everyday coming from eleven plus hours of work, I have judged it as not cool, I should not get tired, why am I tired, the tiredness sinks in when I sit down or when I get in a position that my body (I) feel I can now just sleep, and then I “wake up for a moment from a reaction from a judgment of “I am better than this and thus if I am tired and want to nap I must be weak or not breathing.

And this compromises me from doing anything else, right now at this moment writing this blog I am half falling asleep lol, but I am breathing and I am typing, I know I am using my adrenaline to do this, it is amazing how far I can push myself sometimes, I only had 5 hours of sleep last night as I had to wake up and hour early to go to a car salesmen training conference in Durban for the entire day.

But here is the full story of what is happening daily. I come home and I am tired, so I sit down from a few minutes to have coffee and to relax a bit. Then the few minutes turns into half and hour and then I start moving and doing stuff, then after doing stuff for twenty minutes I sit down again, I am tired.

I am also within this NOT considering the full extent of my changes, I am in training at the new Job, I take in a shit load of brand new information ALL day from everyone at work, I am being passed around all day to do everyone’s small things from them, I am the new guy, and they are using me, till I am a actual car salesmen this will happen, they use me to do the things they know take effort, so I am all day doing everyone’s effort. I like it, I learn more than they can understand LOL.

I want to go take a nap but then I think, if I take a nap I will lose all that time sleeping when I can do something constructive, and if I take a nap I will struggle to sleep later again, so I do not sleep, but this turns into a time wasting pattern, where I now instead of taking a nap and getting the tiredness over with. I stand around and I sit around and I watch TV and everything for quite a while with the reasoning that at least I am awake.

Then I go and check my email, usually when I check my emails there are about a hundred, so I go through them individually to read it and to check what’s for me and what is not, and sitting in front of the screen makes me even more tired, so I decide to go and sit outside a bit more to remain awake.

Then this bit turns into another fifteen minutes and eventually even an hour as someone is watching something and I automatically use it as a excuse to sit and watch.

Then when I look at the time it is already nine or ten, and I go to sleep at eleven, I get back from work anytime from six till late, I never know what the day has in store in terms of coming home.

So what I have noticed is that if I am Tired when I get how I should instead GO and take a hour nap, not to long but enough to after an hour be busy for the next three hours within doing Desteni and Equal Money system things, that is then constructive and using my time sufficiently and what’s best for all life.

So I see that the IDEA and BELIEF I have created around being tired and wasting time when I take a nap has influenced me in such a way that I refuse to go and take a nap and instead compromise and Waste MORE time not doing anything.

I see the “pot hole” I fall into and it has happened now a few times. I know taking a hour nap usually sorts it all our because I did this in the past, a week or two ago and it was awesome, I was good and ready for the rest of the night.

So it is a simple way of applying myself within being sufficient and effective within taking practical preventive steps.

To be continued on SF and SCS.

Day 302 - Cold hands

Day 302 - Cold hands

Every morning when I get to work I greet EVERYONE lol, it is a must, and I even greet the same people again twenty minute later if I see them, saying hi is like a constant thing, it is weird.

So in the mornings when I greet the people I shake hands, and the one thing I notice is that everyone’s hands is Warm and nice to greet, but mine is ice cold. And I have gotten feedback on this as well, the guys saying wow your hands is cold.

I have had this in the past as well, in school where everyone hands will be warm except mine, and now working again and getting the same feedback I am questioning this point again, I have created some judgments and Ideas about it, something must be wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my hands being cold as wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the other people with warm hands as being better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if my hands are cold it means I am not here and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate this point in real time for myself to check why my hands are cold and why others hands is warm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to fear that if my hands isn’t warm like the rat that they will think something is wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if my hands aren’t warm that people will not like greeting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish my hands was warm like the rest so that I will be the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will interoperate my cold hands as something being wrong and different with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I greet someone and my hands are cold to immediately belief something is wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about my cold hands as something being wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the feedback I get in relation to my cold hands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest within why my hands are cold.

I see that my hands are the things I move with, it is what allows me to do things, to get things done, it is the things that has made everything possible that is is here from the humans to be here, and not to be proud of at all obviously we have only been using hands to abuse and destroy and to create harm for all life. Yet our hands can so more thing, a billion more things in creating and living in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as my hands are cold that it is a sign that I am not here breathing and being in my body as self movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my hands are indications of my breathing and if I am breathing in and as my body or if I am in the mind, thus not in my hands as me here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if my hands are cold in summer when the air and everything is hot that it must be a clear indication that I am in the mind and not breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my cold hands and to participate within the mind even more when and as they are cold, instead of seeing and realizing that I can instead use my hands as indicators to my breathing and how the breathe is flowing through my body and that there is life and not mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that my hands are cold to breathe and to breathe into my body as my body and not just breathe to breathe for the sake of self interest and to bring life into my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from Life as something out there that I must acquire, instead of seeing and realizing that LIFE is here and thus breathing here in simplicity is simple.

I commit myself to when and as my hands are cold to stop and to not go into any mind ideas and believes about it and to apply the correction instead as breathing and standing as my body one and equal.

I commit myself to when and as I face the point of my hands being cold and not warm to focus by breathing to warm my hands up to have a clear indication of if my breathing is effective or not, as me moving myself and directing myself as me living here and not participating in the mind as pre-programming accepting and allowing who knows what to move and direct me.

The hands are the body, when I am in the mind the hands go cold as I am up there somewhere and breathing to bring myself here will heat up my hands as a indication of where I am, as the body is always here I simple have to stop the separation and live here, simple.

Day 301 - Not Good enough Self Commitments

Continuing from Day 300 Not good enough character Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as myself in the presence of authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'feel ‘that I must impress people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be accepted by others as an idea of who I am, instead of trusting myself as who I am in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am defined by others and thus must seek approval and thus take on the role of impressing myself onto everyone, seeing and realizing that within my actions I will be seen and thus it isn’t necessary to create an idea of myself to sell to others.

Ok I see this is simple points, now it is time for commitments.

I commit myself to when and as I am at work to breathe and to do my job and to enjoy myself, and to when and as any movement of energy comes up where I feel that I have to make an impression to stop and to breathe and to see that doing my job as best as I can practically within common sense in itself is already showing I am 'good ‘for the job.

I commit myself to when and as I am moving myself within and as breathe and the boss approaches me to keep on doing my work within moving myself practically and to not go into any resonant reactions of Ideas/Beliefs of myself or the boss and to be directed within that, as to remain stable and effective as myself as the physical.

I commit myself to when and as I feel that I am stupid and thus must Prove myself to the boss, to stop and to breathe and to be here practically moving and directing myself as the physical to give no attention or energy to the thought and to stop the thought and to not move myself in reaction as the thought using the physical as my guidelines to move.

I commit myself to when and as I am approached by the boss or manager on the floor at work and I have a experience of feeling that I have to not perform suddenly and submit, to stop and to breathe and to realize I do not need to take on such characters to do what may or may not come, but that what is needed of me is to breathe and to simply move myself.

I commit myself to when and as I feel less then the person with whom I am in presence with to stop the experience the “feeling/emotion” through relaxing myself and my body through breathing in and our slowly and consistently and to make my breathing my focus and not the experience as to equalize myself within and as the physical here to remain here and to keep my integrity and not to sell myself short and compromise myself.

I commit myself to when and as I feel the NEED to be someone else in the presence of others around me to STOP within the understanding that this is compromising me and taking all my energy to be able to move effectively all day, and that all that remain when I stop the energy the need to be someone else is me here as the physical expressing myself in each breathe one and equal with integrity and self honor and respect.

I commit myself to when and as I feel that I need to change Who I am around certain people as to obtain certain traits that I belief others accept and will thus accept me, to stop and to breathe and to once again remain here as my breathe focused on what is real, and to within this stand one and equal with all that is here where there is no separation of me or another as fear but me as the other instead.

I commit myself to when and as I go to work to start the day off with breathing and to stop all thoughts projections I have already created or expectations or concerns and to let it go, within the realization that it is all useless as I am always anyway un prepared for the un expected and thus I may as well take it unexpectedly, but with a slight difference, with no stress or energy moving me or directing me but me breathing and within breathing have self trust and confidence within myself to be able and to do what’s needed in the moment present in the present no matter whit who or what status the person is seen or standing as within the system.