Father to be, self-commitments - Day 333 Part 7

Day 327
Day 328
Day 329
Day 330
Day 331
Day 332

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am following in the footsteps of fear within raising my child to Stop, to sit down and to write and to stop the mind energies from and as memories/thoughts of the past that I have created within my childhood, and to within the writing to find the common sense, the common ground which isn’t based on fear but that is within the best interest of all which is to find practical ways of living/teaching and being an example for the child which does not require fear but common sense and self-honesty.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am projecting fears for my child onto my child to stop, to breathe and to see that fear is of the mind and thus created within the mind as energy and that the fear as the mind isn’t necessary at all, but that the practicality and common sense within this world is what is required to live here and to see what is here and to stand one and equal to what is here and to within that change what is here to that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am living in my mind as ideas/believes/opinions within and from my mind while raising my child, to stop and to breathe, to take a breathe and to see what I am doing, what I am accepting and allowing, and what I am creating as the consequential outflow of my actions/behaviors that is driven from and as the mind as energy from a place which isn’t real, and to stop and to see the obvious common sense way to go instead, and to walk that, as it is best for all life and ultimately best for the child.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am competing to be the best father, to stop and to breathe, within the realization that I am not here to be the best father within and as the win and lose construct created by society, but that I am here to be the best father within educating my child within that which matters and so that my child can develop him/herself effectively and to be the best they can be within that which is best for all life, as this life is my child’s life and that what is best for all life is always what matters.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am participating within ideas/believes/opinions of what a father is supposed to be within the ideas/believes/opinions of and from society created as limitations and boarders to fit in with society, to stop and to breathe and to focus on actual physical living and participations that is real and applicable anywhere whether one is a father or not, and to follow the common sense and how the physical works.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am stressing about being here for my child when and as I am at work most of the tie to stop and to breathe, seeing and realizing that this is what one has to do currently within this world to survive, and that it is unavoidable , YET the time I do spend with my child will be the time that counts, and to not accept and allow any Mind bullshit and mindfuck’s to prevent and stop me from using the time I do have with my child to use it effectively and what is best for all.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am worried that I will not be here for my child to be a effective father, as tie is limited, to stop and to breathe and to realize that the mind will want to compromise the time I do have to spend with my child if I exist within self-interest, seeing and realizing that within self-interest I will use the time that I do have to do nothing, but if I use the time I do have within what’s best for all life then I will do so spending it with what matters, such as my child that will be the future human/adult that will run this world with the many others future adults/humans and thus it is of the utmost important to make sure the future is secure for all Life within starting where it matters, when the child is a child.

I commit myself to when and as I go into doubt within myself about what is best for all life an what is not, to stop and to breathe, within the realization that only the mind can and will doubt what is best for all life as the mind is based on energy and self-interest as the mind is rooted within only self and thus consist of only one selves shit, and thus the obvious common sense is that what is best for all life is what is for all life and that is here for all life equally, which is the physical reality that we all share equal and one, which is life and that when I doubt, to stop the doubt the mind and to bring myself back to breathing within and as the physical and focus on what is real and here that I can see with my real eyes.

Father to be – Day 332 Part 6

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take fatherhood for granted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what fathers really go thought within the current way of the world to be fathers, as the system is designed to not support LIFE but only to consume the time for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the current way of life that the human has created for himself and all life isn’t a system that supports Life and only money, and that being a father can be so much more then what it currently exist as, where fathers/mothers can actually be there for their children and enjoy the child and have the environment that supports development effectively for ll.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a father within the current system/world that has been created and is still accepted and allowed to exist by the humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the human conditions that the human has created for himself to exist within in this world such as needing money to be able to eat/drink and have a home, and that it is a survival game instead of a existence that is free of fear and best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my child coming into this world, seeing and realizing that the main fear is what if my child end up with no money, no food, no home, no water, no safety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Wish only that my child has money so that my child can buy safety and a live, seeing and realizing that this is and will and can never be a solution, as everything else around my child will still be fucked and remain a danger, and thus it is to change the entire system, that supports all equally and not just my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my child and the future of my child that is to come on this planet due to human existence here and what we are creating and no sign of change is near in sight.

Ok this is where I am ending the self-forgiveness on these points for now, next I will be doing the self-commitments on the points.

Father to be - a new way Day 331 Part 5

Day 327
Day 328
Day 329
Day 330


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fatherhood is a competition for who can be the best father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make fatherhood about competition, seeing and realizing from my own life and experience that competition only rushed me and never gave me the chance to develop anything properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see that competition within fatherhood is but a root of fear and thus only teaching a child fear, instead of how to properly effectively develop something/skills/abilities without it being a competition for a prize as the prize is only momentarily where as the result is forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing as a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a loser as a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not compete with other fathers to be the best father that I will lose and the other fathers and their kids will win, be more than me and my kid, seeing and realizing that this is a self-interest fear and not what’s bets for all life as it is about how I will feel and not about how the physical work in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not compete with how I raise my child that my child will fall behind within how skillful/intelligent/able my child is, seeing and realizing that this is and has always been only my own fears and what I have faced all my life and thus not my child’s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already as a father to be project my apparent disabilities that I make myself believe that I have my child’s and to within this want to prevent my child from having these apparent disabilities through acting in fear and within competition, seeing and realizing that I can instead utilize what I have fucked up within myself and see how I did this and how I created it and to within this learn from myself and to give the insight/understanding to my child so that he/she can accordingly make common sense self-honest decisions on the points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I do not participate within the competition construct within this world with my child as being the father that I will be a failure as a father within the eyes of society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my child will be born without fear/without thoughts or memories and that what I give is what will be received and thus if and when I fear and I project that fear and live it physically within this world I will teach my child fear instead of prevention and so create what I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being accountable, seeing and realizing that I fear this because I know I will be held accountable for all outflow and consequences within and as my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself within others that has already been fathers to see if I am ready or not, seeing and realizing that I am ready, I just don’t what to be a father like everyone else as it is quite scary what fathers are currently and that it is accepted as normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use comparison to imprint fear within me through taking what I see with my eyes from other fathers and making it a valid way of being a father and then fear within myself to having to be like that to be a father, seeing and realizing that I do not have to be like any of the fathers within this world to be a father as I am redefining father for myself to that which is best for all life and to bring about a new way of life for all life.

To be continued.

Father to be - Preparing the way Day 330 Part 4

Day 327
Day 328
Day 329

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take in what I see and observe from within my environment within other humans words and behaviors and what they say/do as all being facts and ways of life, and that what I see and learn and hear must be what I must do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what fathers/mothers live and how they raise their children is something that they have learned from a book, seeing and realizing now that I am full grown that there never was a book and it all was simply done from guessing and from those that has gone before them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the scam in my own head that parents and my parents that raised me was qualified first before their had me to be able to raise me, seeing and realizing that I was raised within hope/belief/luck/faith, instead of actual direction and principals that is concrete with concrete results.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a father is someone that has been trained to be a father, and that within everything a father teaches and do and show and tells me was/is always right and the way, seeing and realizing now that I am almost a father and that it was only an idea/expectation I had within my mind of and from the believe I have created about fathers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being pre-pared to be a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living up to the expectations of a father within the idea of what a father must be within society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I MUST divine myself as a father within societies idea of a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into what society wants and needs of me to be an acceptable father, seeing and realizing that the father idea and what is being lived within the current society isn’t what is best for all life as the evidence is within society as the world the humans have created and still accept and allow through the sins of the fathers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my self-confidence within myself to be a father to my child equal and one with how I would/can be a father to all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as myself as life identified as a father within society and still to stand as myself within this identity and to not give into society itself and to raise my child within what is best for all life, as common sense/self-honesty/practicality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear society and the expectations of society and what happens as reactions within society when and as those expectations that define a father isn’t met, but instead a new way, a way that is best for all life. For instance no religion/tradition/culture etc, but a living being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that there is a wrong way of teaching, seeing and realizing that it isn’t about wrong or right, but to teach what is best for all life, as I see and realize that what is right and wrong within society is currently extremely sickening and abusive and thus not best for all to teach my child the rights and wrongs of society to accept and allow, but to instead teach the problems and the solutions as what’s best for all life, to teach common sense and self-honesty where the child will be given tools to have perspectives and insight and to determine through that self honestly what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only wish to teach my child the right way – seeing and realizing that there is no right or wrong way, but only what is best for all life as I see and realize that what is right and wrong within society is currently extremely sickening and abusive and thus not best for all to teach my child the rights and wrongs of society to accept and allow, but to instead teach the problems and the solutions as what’s best for all life, to teach common sense and self-honesty where the child will be given tools to have perspectives and insight and to determine through that self honestly what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing my child to the bullshit existing within this world that corrupts the children of today, seeing and realizing that if and as I teach my child effective common sense and giving my child to opportunities to develop self-honesty that there is not need for me to fear that or to keep my child from it, as he/she will have the tools to determine what’s BS and what’s not and to make his/her own decisions based on what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a bad father within teaching and being an example, seeing and realizing that it is simply a fear of the mind and thus not real, I must trust myself within and as the physical here breathing and focusing on what’s real as always.

To be continued.

Father to be – Define Father Self forgiveness Day 329

Father to Be - Define Father Day  327
Father to Be - Define Father Day  328

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the Idea of being a father and that I must then be the one to discipline them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a father must be the one to teach a child how to be disciplined through physically disciplining the child, seeing and realizing that it is to show discipline, and to give a definition to the child of what discipline is and so that the child can live that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being a father to having to be the scary one that must be the “bad cop” when self-responsibility wasn’t taken or abuse took place, seeing and realizing that it isn’t to be scary as being the father figure, but that It is me as a being taking responsibility for my creation to align whatever went wrong within oneness and equality as that what is best for all through giving the child consequential outflows of what could happen within their actions to give and teach the child self-responsibility within understanding of their actions, and so when the self-responsibility wasn’t taken and “discipline” is required to give the child physical consequences one and equal so that they can learn and see that everything we do have consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a father must hit his children to be able to teach the child discipline, seeing and realizing that having to teach the child through physical discipline is already a sign that me as a father wasn’t disciplined within teaching my child and thus it is me that has to be held accountable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that physical discipline onto and towards a child is the manifestation of avoiding taking real responsibility as the father as the child can only do what he/she is taught or have seen from those as the examples..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a father that is feared, seeing and realizing that this can only be real if and when I am acting and living in fear and reactions instead of breathing and directing the physical one and equal as what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “hope” to be a father that the child wants to be with and “love” seeing and realizing that it is for my own self interest and not what is best for all life, as a relationship such as that will only be a enslavement of the child to me for my own happiness and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse enjoyment with love, seeing and realizing that love is a energetic connection based on feelings/emotions that becomes dependent on each other as the polarities require each other and thus creating a cycle of enslavement, where as enjoyment is a physical doing such as swinging someone or picking them up or just being with them or even when just being in each other’s presence which can be applied to all life equally as it requires no energy but only physical relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as the father I must be a serious person to be able to be a good father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a serious father is a stable father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a serious father is a strong father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a happy father is a cool father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a father that has two sides is a real father, when the father is able to have fun but also a serious side that can come up, seeing and realizing that it isn’t to live a specific character around the father to be a father but to be a living being that is here sharing and teaching and not pretending but to be real within self-honesty/common sense and living what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as certain specific characters in front of my child that I believe will show my child weakness or instability and to within this already want to create fake characters to hide the other characters, seeing and realizing that this is only teaching the child how to hide and how to not face oneself and to always have to look a certain way, instead of facing what is here as the characters and removing the characters which then do not require more characters to hide it as one has forgiven self and moving forward.

Facing The Sins of the Father to Be – Define Father Part 3 Day 328

 From Day 325 Part 1 - father to be Define father

exploratory writing.

So I have defined being a father as being an example, what the father does, the actions of the father, is the father teaching me this or that or isn’t he, I have defined father as what they do determines who they are, but it is who they are that determines what they do, and as my dad was working day in and day out to provide, it shows that who my father was, was caring and willing to give up his family to have a family, so that I could have toys and savings and food and water and cloths and all that, so my judgment as a kid was completely disordered and based on self-interest instead of common sense and what happening in reality – people need money.

Who I am determines what I do – who you are determines what you do, so to be an example for a child isn’t to be a constant doing parent to show the child who you are as a parent, so that they can learn from that, it is to be an example of who you are at ALL times to teach/live/show a principal, a principal that who you are determines what you do, this empowers the child to create who they are and thus what they do. The principal of what is best for all life in all ways. Love thy neighbor as they self, do onto another as you would like to be done onto.

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear being a bad example for my child, through all the good and bad judgments I have made about fathers in my child years and to within this have defined what bad/good fathers are based on my fears that I have created based on the impressions I got from society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that the words I use/speak in moments of unawareness of from and as reactions will damage my child and that I will thus be a bad father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to do enough things for/with my child to show my child who I am,, seeing and realizing that it is a excuse and a justification as who I am determines what I do and thus for example coming home when it is dark can only be a excuse if I am defining who I am based on what I do, but when who I am determines what I do I am constantly in all moments doing something to be a example as what’s best for all life and so for my child one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear not being a good father through the words I use/speak and how I use them, seeing and realizing that this fear currently exists because of self-judgments I have of myself from actual physical experiences I have had/have where I react or speak in moments of not breathing and being aware and knowing that they do have consequences and thus fearing that I will thus face the consequences within my child and what he/she learned from my words and the actions within it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will teach my child the wrong definitions of words through what I speak and what my actions show for what I speak, thus seeing and realizing that I have to re-define the words I am living so that the words I use is one and equal to what I am living and not creating bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear teaching my child the energies that I have connected to words from my own personal experiences within me through using the words with the energy connections towards my child or within the environment the child is within and that the child will thus take my personal energy signatures that I have connected within words as experiences and make it his, seeing and realizing that I have to take responsibility for myself within the words I use and what’s behind them through breathing and placing a guard in front of my mouth till I am clear and only speak when the words are physical and real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fucking my child up with the same shit that I know I have within me that I am aware of and have been aware of for years, that I haven’t yet taken self-responsibility for, thus I see and realize that because I haven’t taken self-responsibility for what exist within me that I know is in me deliberately not taking self-responsibility and that I have till now still continued within participating within the shit that exist within me that I have left it to influence my world and myself, and only now that I am about to be a father do I actually realize the consequences of not taking full self-responsibility for what I experience within me and that it is infectious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only now want to take self-responsibility once my own self-interest is at risk, where I will have a child and that I have to help in raising the child and that within me raising the child I will face the consequences of who I have accepted and allowed myself to remain to be to be taught to my child and that my child will become and reflect that back to me and so the sins of the fathers will be given to the children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear teaching my child to react to people whenever they ask of him/her to do something as that is what I am still accepting and allowing to exist within and as me and thus if I do not take self-responsibility and change who I am within that point then that is what I will create within my child, that which I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will teach my child to not want to read and learn new things, because that is what I am still existing as within and as who I am and thus as I am still a living example of that to myself then I can but only be that to my child as a example and thus I see and I realize that I have to take self-responsibility for who I am within this point and change to that which is best for all life as an example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear teaching my child how to have only excuses for not taking self-responsibility, as I see that I am still existing as excuses within not taking full self-responsibility within my daily living and only creating excuses and thus as that is what I am accepting and allowing to exist within and as me as who I am then all I can teach my child is but from me as who I am and thus creating my exact fear, because no matter how much I speak and say things, if I am not that example it will not be real but only be empty words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will not be home enough to teach my child the skills I have and that is awesome skills as I will be at work most of the day till it is dark already and that my child will not have that part of me as an example to learn from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Who I am determines what I do and thus I see and realize that within this basic simple example, I do not need to be home all the time to teach things as to what I can do to show who I am, but that who I am will be a teaching within itself, as I will and can be the example for my child that who you are determines what you do which means that my child will not need me to show him/her stuff because they will develop themselves as who they are and through that they will determine what they do.

I am exploring all the corners here within self-forgiveness and my perspective is expanding and I am seeing within my writing where I am still blind or even making excuses/justifications and so forth.

To be Continued.