Day 517 – more on the point of expectation/expectations

Let’s start with basics

after the basics of showing how expectations are in literally everything and behind our every belief/Idea/opinion and that it isn’t good or bad, remove that motion, this is about understanding the point, and then I will get to the creational point where expectations INSIDE ourselves in our immediate reality/moment create the moment realities without us even knowing it or being fully aware of the secret shit.

Every belief is an expectation
Every opinion is an expectation
Every Idea is an expectation

Isn’t it?

It cannot be that way, it is impossible – a belief is a belief, an opinion is an opinion, an Idea is an Idea – really?

Quickly belief something or in something - Obviously the reason behind the belief is to expect something?

Quickly have an opinion for me - Obviously the reason for an opinion is the expect something; why else do you have the opinion? Don’t tell me just to have an opinion, you are expectation to win or to gain or to feel or something.

Quickly have an Idea for me (about ANYTHING) – now obviously you are having an Idea with an expectation behind it, why else do you have the idea, just to have an idea?

Let’s go a bit deeper – I have an opinion about smoking is bad – first of all is it an opinion or a fact? – if you claim it is a fact then you are also expecting something from that fact, if it is an opinion then obviously you are expecting something from that opinion – either way you are expecting something for why you say for example smoking is bad or not bad – you are expecting something, either it means you can smoke and it reliefs you from dreadful thoughts on what the smoke might do to your lungs – well there is your expectation for having for example an opinion on why smoking isn’t bad – if you go with that it is a fact that smoking is bad, well you are expecting for example for others to now stop smoking and look to you for example as being an example of the one knowing better and their “facts” so to say.

Let’s look at belief – I belief that there is a god – this should be quite obvious what the expectations are, either go to heaven or go to hell, those are the two expectations – or another belief rather – I belief that this person in front of me is short, the expectation obviously is that you now expect others to see you are tall or taller, why else would you have a random belief of someone being short, or it the person in fact short? I mean fact or belief, there is an expectation, if the person is in fact short, then you must as yourself in comparison to what? 7 billion other people all being different in size? So what’s the expectation from such a fact, well I expect myself to be considered tall then and not as short, therefore I am better – the expectation being “I am better” or perhaps I am more lucky.

Now lets look at Ideas – I have an Idea, lets change the world – well that expectation is pretty obvious, the expectation it a better world – I have an idea about how to build a car port better, with the expectation obviously being that the car port will be better – Ideas is quit an easy one, every single Idea leads to an expectation.

SO the major question then remains, what is behind the expectation, why do we have beliefs or Ideas or opinions about or over any and everything – but more importantly – how does expectations for example determine how you pick up a spoon to eat your cereal, how your expectations literally can influence and create physical vents and manifestation in your immediate reality, ones that you aren’t even aware of.

Stay tuned for the next Blog going in deeper.

Day 516 – One word changed my life

For the past three weeks I have walked this point every single day – I have successfully incorporated and still doing so one word that has changed my life in the most unexpected ways. I will convey this in this blog and perhaps you can do the same.

Before I give you the word, I need to first say the following: ALL my life I have lived in fear, I have blamed fear and I have believed fear to be the one thing that keeps me back that is creating my world and thus not creating what I actually want to create, because fear is just there around every corner – so it seems that fear is the culprit.

BUT – never have I really looked at what is behind fear, what is there behind fear pushing fear in front of my eyes and inside of me, I mean fear doesn’t just happen, it is something that is created.
So one day I was just looking at this point in a moment with my son, it really took me a moment to breath and to really see inside of myself, my son was about to do something that was deemed wrong or not good from inside my mind as what I was programmed with – so I was preparing myself to stop my son, to say NO – and what happened? Exactly what I EXPECTED from my son.

There is the word – EXPECTATIONS/expect

SO I noticed this moment in slow motion, I truly lived it and I was present in the participation of it, But I did not say stop or no, I instead talked to my son about what is happening. But this story isnt the point, it is the realization the moment of clarity that I had and opened up my reality to a whole new level of interaction.


Before you have any reaction or any fear you first have an expectation within yourself, a thought, a memory – then the fear backs it up, making it so real, fear is like the reinforcement of the expectation. It will happen, most expectations do not happen that you are having consciously, but it is the unconscious one, these are the ones I am looking at, breathing slowly and catching them, taking a moment to see what’s really underneath, and they are all about YOU and what you can practically live and do, not about what the next lotto ticket is or who will win a soccer game.

Expectation is simply the word that describe this, it is the word that you can hold inside of yourself throughout your day and see how you are creating your day EXACTLY as you are expecting it to be, no more and no less – then you have two polarities that back the expectation up, reinforce it, either a positive or a negative, the fear or the love, without the expectation there is nothing the fear or love can latch onto, so then it is just simply you have breathing and dealing with HERE.

I have now taken the word expectation and I have applied it within every moment of my day as a cross reference – when I wake up, what is my first expectation of the morning/day – when I start moving and doing things, it is literally everywhere and I have now seen for myself, what I expect is what I get/create – unfortunately I am like everyone else programmed mostly in the negative and polarized by a positive, so it usually jumps between the two, I simply have to see my creation process in between and I am using the word expectation to highlight each and every moment to show my.

What is expectation, it is the past reoccurring literally, you expect it you create it, and it’s always the past, so it is always reinforced by fear.

So let me make it more clear, why use the word expectation/expectations to reflect and see the point, take a look, whatever you do or before you do it, there is behind the fear an expectation/expectations, and if you take each expectation it is as if you are opening up a story book, you can see what is going to happen and when and where and what characters must be involved and how the interactions must take place and then what the outcome will be as expected. Basically you can already SEE within your expectation the LINE of creation that you are about to live and this gives you the insight to change, stop and realize your expectation is literally creating what is happening or what is going to happen you have already written the story within the expectation.

So just for one day, wake up and hold the word expectation within you, and see what it reveals in each moment and see how you can decide from there on NOT to live that expectation and change. Using breathing common sense and self-honesty always within what is best for all life.

This is why the world isn’t changing, because we all have secretly already created the expectation that the world is going to end, and just look at it, we are literally living that expectation, I mean how can you live anything else than what you are expecting. So do not focus too much on fear, it is what is behind the fear as the expectation that needs addressing.

Day 515 - I am tired of YOU

Have you ever had the experience of being tired of another person? I have had this experience quit a few times. and I have come to realize that it has nothing to do with the other person, as the experience that makes one tired of the other person is happening within self.

so having this experience within myself towards another person clealry shows that it is a point that I am tired of within myself or within my reality that I am not direction = communicating.

usually this is a cause of back chat that occurs in my secret mind towards a particular person within the same situations, this back chat is literally just my perception of or towards the other, I just keep it to myself and as the same situation comes up over and over the back chat is the same, till one day - this grows into a tiredness.

this tiredness that I have experienced towards another comes out in different expressions towards the other person, such as anger, or frustration, or irritation, or spitefullness - there are many ways that I can attempt to make the other person see that what they are doing is happening over and over and nothing is changing, and this then happens to create a certain experience within me as I am actually not the one changing, well I create the experience and I accept and allow it, because I try all those methods of emotional manipulation to try and make the person see, except direct communication to clarify what I see and what is really happening so that I can stop my bullshit back chat and rather support myself and the other person if needed.

the end result is never pretty, it is unnecessary conflict that becomes harmful, it inst constructive conflict or communication - as both parties will come from a blind side within communication, as each one has been participating within secret thoughts/backchat that has accumulated over a long period of time, and then if such patterns keep on occurring one or both will snap, and there is no time to suddenly justify or explain ALL the accumulated back chat, or there is simply no way one can, because in the end it is now only revealing itself as a feeling/emotion/possession. 

So this is a point that I am dealing with in my reality of my relationships towards people that I have know for a long time, may it be friends/family/co-workers, I understand the cause of my experience and that I must take self responsibility and that NO one else is to blame for how I experience myself in any given moment - yet If I do not change my course of action and develop my communication skills with those around me - I will end up possessing myself.

communication isn't enough, clear and effective communication is whats needed, even if you do not have the vocabulary or skills, take the time to sit and develop them, with a friend, with a family member, but make sure all communication starts with the starting point of what is best for all - and that you are taking self responsibility, if those points aren't coming through then you will feel the manipulation or games that is being played as there will be this dishonest secret self feeling like self interest is met and everything is back in its comfort zone.


If only I could get that proper sleep, I will feel better.
Maybe if I sleep a little bit I will feel better.
After a good nap I will feel alive and good to do things again.
If I can just get some DEEP sleep I will reboot and feel fresh.
Tonight I must go to bed early to start the day fresh and alive tomorrow.
I must catch up with sleep to not be in this mood.
I will be more effective if ONLY I had a good sleep last night, but I didn’t.
Today is going to suck, I barely slept last night.
I went to bed SOO late last night, that’s why today is going to be though.
WOW the nap I had really helped, but why am I so tired again, I probably need more sleep.

Those are but some thoughts that I have had regarding sleep and what revolves around sleep, I have noticed how sleep can take over my day to day life, to be more precise, the belief I have around sleep and how I have given away my self-responsibility to WHY I am experiencing myself as tired as what is happening within me, through making sleep the excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame not having enough or a certain type of sleep for why I experience myself as tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame how little I have slept for why I am experiencing myself within my mind set as being tired/exhausted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification for how I experience myself as not mobile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification/excuse to why I am not HERE present breathing but rather in certain moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use not having enough sleep as a justification for why I am the way I am as being gloomy, tired looking, not alive, not moving myself effectively, why I am sitting around, why I am always chilling instead of breathing and being here directing each moment within practicality and clarity.

So the questioning must once again go deeper, why even if I got sleep, or a nap – does tiredness sink in at some point that is ONLY felt in the eyes, the head section. This leads down an interesting path, as tiredness isn’t a mental point, it is a physical point that we reference to as being tired – as the body is the vessel that does literally everything, the mind as a tool is supposed to just give like GPS direction.
So firt, understanding the mind as a tool and not who you are and how this tool works, as a GPS, how can one get tired from using the tool as the mind? Well over use, using the GPS to not just direct but to actually get lost and to then having to get new input the whole time or old input and scrambling the direction and getting lost within the mess within the GPS system as the mind, in fact we get so lost within it finding direction that we are now even thinking we are this mess, we are this GPS system, forgetting that someone else placed the info into the GPS before it even started getting active – and this input wasn’t even from who I am, it was from my parents, as they already claimed to know this world and thus what direction I must take to secure survival, and Hench why we get lost using this GPS system, because we never placed the info/directions within it, someone else did and we are just trying to make sense of it all and get lost in it.

So the tiredness comes from a simple explanation – direction, setting a direction and living it, using the GPS once and then moving to the locations/taking the direction, but as long as I am all up in my GPS/mind I will be tired, I will feel tired and moody, I will not be able to move and be effective. I am jumping from one place to another – I am attempting to follow all the paths that has been programmed into my GPS – and not finding my own path/direction and living that.

To be continued.

Day 513 – Fear of leaving my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear admitting that I fear death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that ALL the fears that I have comes from the one fear, the fear of death, as all fears is based on the end result of my end/death as a personality to be more specific.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR death as the end of ME, which shows quite a point to look at, who is this ME?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death because I know that I am not real and that at death the truth will be revealed and that I will have to face myself as my own self dishonesty as I never pushed myself to my limits, to birth myself as life and to stand up for and as life a myself for all that is here one and equal as I was busy protecting a personality design that is living within self-interest and only looking after my own ass as the MIND/energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death as the SHAME that I will face for all the excuses and reasons and all the things that I deliberately placed in front of myself to NOT stand up to not stand up for myself as LIFE and to accept and allow myself to be suppressed through the mind as energy and to have deliberately given into it as a way of excusing myself from taking a real stand within myself where I do it for myself as myself as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death and facing what is real as the PHYSICAL as that which is real and to stand in the face of what is here and what is real and to not be seen as worthy of life as I will find myself unable to communicate and to stand one and equal as the physical as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question why I actually within self-honesty FEAR death and what death will expose to ME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Death stares me in the eyes every day at any moment and I do not decide that moment of death and I know that when death comes from me – I will not stand as LIFE yet and thus I cannot stand death, thus showing me true fear of death as that of knowing that I am not standing one and equal as LIFE YET as death is still a fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR death as I fear the regret that I will face of myself, as to why I did nothing despite ALL the evidence that I should act and stand yet did nothing but crawl up inside myself into a bundle of excuses and reasons that seem so right and justifiable., which I know death will proof my mind wrong in all possible ways and I will face the truth of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that I can excuse myself from death and what comes after death.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live in a way where I know that I am standing and that even death is welcomed as I know who I am and that it is nothing more or less one and equal as LIFE.

Death reveals a lot, it exposes what is HERE – most people have pity things that they fear they will meet at their death bed, I also had these pity things, like not having sex with as many women as I would have wanted to, not traveling the world, not partying as hard as I can, never taking chances, never doing certain drugs, never choosing a correct career path, for not loving my family more, for not caring more for my parents etc tec. There are so many – but while those are our distracting thoughts at our death bed there is something completely missed – there is NO heaven or HELL after death, there is only one thing awaiting – dust to dust, not from dust to heaven or to hell.

And the problem is – from dust to dust means after death we remain RIGHT HERE, simply in another form – this form is the physical, and we as humans are currently living as the mind as energy, as illusions of what is here – now illusions aren’t real, and if we exist as the mind and we die, the mind dies – the illusion stops existing, yet you will be here – now if you created and lived your entire life as the mind which ends at death, you have NO possible way of living after death, of directing yourself as the physical, because we never even learned how to communicate with what is real (the physical) we have only always communicated as the mind, so NO thoughts will be there after death to guide you, NO thinking, no memories – so who the fuck am I then? Well I simply do not exist then after death, and that’s it, it isn’t a matter of fear now – now it is a matter of making a decision, do I stand as LIFE do I rebirth myself as the physical as LIFE and amalgamate myself with LIFE and stand one and equal as life, already now this life before death live without the thoughts/thinking/memories and live as LIFE/physical so that at death I know who the fuck I am and nothing changes.

This is also not a matter of separating myself from the mind, the mind is HERE I have to stand one and equal as the mind, as the tool the mind is – which is in reverse of what we have done, we made the tool who we are, see the shit storm we are in – how did we end up making a tool called the mind WHO we are, who I am, it is the same as me deciding to make one of my fingers who I am, imagine how that would have looked like or worked out, pretty fucked up I would say, now that should answer your question to why the world is fucked up if you take a moment to look at the whole of EVERYTHING that is here.

To be continued – death

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