Day 435 – Fear – False Evidence Appearing Real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “make up” evidence within my mind of why the fear I am experiencing is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief the false Evidence as thoughts that I have within my mind when and as I am faced with talking with new people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that thoughts that I have about others within my mind is “evidence” for why I must fear others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the thoughts I have about others exist only in my mind and thus isn’t evidence at all, but made up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts about other people based on bits and pieces of information I have about them or that I have obtained from them and to then create thoughts from the information/memories and to give it forth to myself in my mind as Evidence for why I must fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the same thoughts over and over within my mind that I have about/towards others and to then starts believing these thoughts and to create fear, a I have not though physically integrating the thought’s within and as my body though repetition made them seem real because I am experiencing it physically, and then to fool myself into believing its real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have repeated the same thoughts I have about/towards people over and over in my head till I physically integrated them as ME as who I am to a point where I am experiencing the thoughts physically as energy, and in this case fear, and to then belief it to be real, not seeing and realizing that I created it and made it real only within myself and how I am experiencing myself – and that in fact its only existing within me and not about the other person/people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat thoughts I have within myself about others from a point of fear, over and over within myself, making it real and manifesting it as my body to a point where the fear is real in my body and mind, yet in reality as the one dimension we all share it isn’t real and none existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have ONE thought about/towards another to belief that this thought must mean something, and to then entertain the thought through repeating it over and over in my mind till I made it meaning something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create/make others something to fear though making/creating it within myself within my mind as the thoughts that I keep repeating/entertaining within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I have a thought about another to belief that it must be Valid, because I had the thought, it must be indicating something, and to within this fall into the rabbit hole, instead of Not going there and breathing and working with what’s here physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make Life more difficult living with other humans and other beings here on earth through existing only to protect self-interest as my feelings/thoughts/personalities and to within this way of living always fall for the thoughts that I have to create fear as a way of protecting my self-interest, my own bubble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather focus on the thoughts I have instead of the physical points of participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts about myself, where these thoughts as Judgments in its design, and where judgments are always from a point of separation and thus fear, and to always place myself in a position of fear from the self-judgments I have and then creating judgments in comparison towards/about others.

To be Continued.

Day – 434 – Oh shit, I forgot to LIVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly prepare myself to live, instead of living.

When and as I see myself preparing myself to live – I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am here I am alive, and there is no need to make more out of it and to simply be here and LIVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a constant state of anxiety/fear as my experience while preparing my future in my thoughts all the time and how to live, instead of living here in each breathe.

When and as I am in fear/anxiety – I stop, I breathe – I check myself and what is it that I am preparing myself for to LIVE and why and to launch a full detailed self-investigation and to deconstruct the mind and what I am participating within in the moment and to bring myself back to the Physical in each breathe though understanding that what I am experiencing is NEVER real and just made up.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to LIVE, to be here as breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see that I have been stuck in my thoughts and my experience of myself as fear/anxiety as a result of the thoughts I have about living and what I want to live instead of being here as breathe alive/living.

When and as I see myself thinking and being in thoughts about the next moment/second or further into the future about what I want to live and how and where and when and why, I stop, I breathe – I realize that this isn’t living but just me creating fear/anxiety and a prison for myself to not live but only to protect self-interest and limitations as one’s own mind/ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort within the fear/anxiety, within the belief that the fear/anxiety as the result of the thoughts I have are keeping me save. Not seeing and realizing that they are actually keeping me a prisoner of my own mind.

When and as I see myself creating fear through participating within thoughts from the belief that I am doing this to keep myself save, I stop, I breathe - I realize that I am creating the fear/anxiety and thus the problem within myself first, and thus once I have created the problem as the fear/anxiety within myself, that all I can see outside myself are problems as everything I see and do will be from the point of fear – instead of physical considerations and practicality in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE a definition of the word live – where the definition is built on fear and limitation within the mind as the thoughts/feelings/emotions I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word LIVE as something that has to happen within fear/anxiety and constant thoughts/feelings/emotions existing within self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Define the word LIVE from what I experience within myself as the thoughts/feelings/emotions I have within the belief that I can only live and be alive if I am experiencing something – does not matter if it’s negative or positive.

When and as I see that I am within an positive/negative experience of myself within the Idea/belief that this energy within me means I am alive, I stop, I breathe – I realize that this experience within me is actually indicating that I am not alive and just a robot reacting on the input given to me through electrical circuits within my body coming from the input I receive from outside of myself as stimulation, instead of me directing each moment as a living being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an IDEA to the definition of the word LIVE - that LIVING must be a positive experience, otherwise I am not living.

When and as I find myself telling myself that I am alive when and as I am in a positive experience of myself, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that this is me bullshitting myself as I know its just energy and will wear off and then what?? I am dead lol. – seeing and realizing that I am alive and living when I am here breathing and not dependent on any energy to give me a high or a low as an experience, simply hold my breath for ten seconds and see what matters the most. Energy or a single breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the idea that LIVING must be a positive experience and as long as I am not positive I am not alive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIMIT myself within defining living as something that must be positive or negative, seeing and realizing that if I redefine living to a physical practical doing as who I am in each breathe and not as something where I seek Energy, then I am alive and always living and all that’s required for me is to determine myself in each moment and who I am as the directive principle instead of waiting or depending on an experience to decide for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT a certain Idea about myself to become real first before I can say I am alive and living, seeing and realizing that this Idea/expectation will always change in time and never be what I seek in the moment and thus I am creating a state of depression for myself – instead of living here in each breathe within what’s HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not LIVE in each breathe as each breath’s support in the physical that’s not dependent on an experience but a physical application and movement.