When the world isn’t changing blame the world, Day 10 of 21 – Day 595

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame people, the world for not seeing common sense and within self-honesty that they can be the change that is necessary, seeing and realizing that I am externalizing this point onto others, and thus not taking the point back to self, and so as I see others do not change, I get discouraged, I feel more dis-empowered and as if chances for change is even less, and so I Blame others for how I am starting to experience myself and thus how I am living and acting in response to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o dis-empower myself through what see others are doing within falling and no standing as the solution and to within this Blame others for my stance, what I stand for and to be the living example, to compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put hope in others to stand and to stand one and equal with me and to place my stance on this hope, and so as I see others fall and go off track I lose hope and within losing this hope I compromise my stance, and attempt to compensate for others and so as I attempt to compensate I start blaming other people for my burden being even more, and thus I see and realize that I am attempting to carry the responsibility of others on me and so when I feel burdened and like giving up, I blame others, yet I am the one who placed the burden onto myself and compromised my stance and thus lost my stance, and so also go on to blame others for me losing my stance, and thus I see and realize that I cannot blame, as all my actions was my decisions, following fear and paranoia and thus showed me that I wasn’t standing actually from the beginning, and so this gives me the opportunity to reflect and to take self-responsibility once again and to stop the creation of the blame game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me being discouraged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope in others and to even participate within hope and thus lose touch with reality and with my own process, my own standing as an example, as I am looking outward instead of inward and what stands here as me and that this stance must stand and be able to stand alone for eternity, even when no one else stands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalize my standing and to make it dependent on others, realizing that I must stand with others and that with others this process of global change is the only possible way, yet those that come and go in the meantime should not change my standing through values I have placed on certain people and their standing and what it means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE no hope within this world and to within this create hope of illusions within my daily living where I place hope in how I see others stand and move and direct, and thus when such a person dies or disappears I suddenly am faced with myself and seeing and realizing that I haven’t yet in fact fully been living as the example I would like to see within this world as change and so become dishearten, discouraged and the possibility for me to fall becomes even greater and so I blame others and yet here I stand as the example of why others failed and thus I never stood myself as the example for why others can and must stand. So I see and realize I must change my stance, realign my principles, and check my starting point, how I go here, why I am here, and what is the FIRE within me doing this for me and all life, as I see I have forgotten though externalizing myself and living in a Blame game that made me LAME and thus unable to effectively move and direct myself.

Headache - what can create one? Day 9 of 21 - Day 594

I woke up this morning with a headache, now waking up with a headache for me is very strange, and this headache was very annoying, it is heavy, every slight movement I make where my head is moving, I feel the headache. All day I had to move slowly, I had to be aware of all my movement a lot more.

I assessed what the headache can be, is it due to something physically missing or lacking in the body? Or a mind point. So I drank water and ate fruits and more meals, as I felt my body needed, yet the headache is still here. So now in Self-forgiveness I will open up my experience towards the headache.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate this headache.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this headache for LIMITING my movements and participation of me during my day and to within this Blame, blame my body for creating this headache, when I know the body does not create headaches, but how I participate and use the body and thus how I accept and allow the mind to run free within doing with the body as it pleases. And thus I am responsible and I must take self-responsibility for my creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over think many things during my day instead of acting/living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK about what I want to do and to just keep thinking about it, not acting on it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize when I SEE what is here and what I can do and I do not act on it, if I do not live what I SEE is possible here and to either direct myself to live it, do it later of right now, and to rather go and THINK more and more on it, and thus when I do not act when I SEE I turn all the potential of the physical into thinking and thoughts and regrets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this headache that compromises my physical movement as a reflection of how I have been compromising my physical movement when I do not act but rather turn the potential of me HERE into thoughts, into future and then past and to never LIVE, for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to JUDGE myself when and as I see what is HERE as the physical living potential of and as ME and to rather go into the mind and not expand myself, live creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see a physical living potential where I will benefit and ALL to rather go into the mind as limitations, where I start thinking, I am not ready for this, I need to prepare more for this, I am not professional enough for this, I do not look good enough to do this, I do not have the skills right now that matches what I want to create YET so best that I do nothing at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE in my mind as thinking as imagination, as I am unable to breathe and direct my reality as the physical when and as I see, and thus as time pass by I create distrust within me within what I see as I have never established trust within myself to simply trust myself and to act, to respond, to create what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate a headache over so much time of living within the mind and not living, and thus now facing the consequences of my action as my physical body being compromised, where a headache is a red light for where the body is already SO full of accumulated energy that the body/brain cannot even handle it anymore, like a soda bottle that has been shaken and needs to be opene4d up, and thus I can see this is a red light and that if I continue any further the way I have been living I will accumulate more headaches and over time more other physical problems that will match my LIVING one and equal and thus my LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place high expectations on myself of what I am supposed to live, and to within this compromise what I can live and to never act or live but wait and wait and to within this waiting for the right time, when I may be able to live up to my expectations later on create within my mind a mountain of what I haven’t lived and thus must when I am ready make up for all the times and moments I haven’t lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a headache to my physical body and capabilities, where I place everything in my head and not live here what’s possible, what is best for all and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hold myself back and to rather move back into the mind and so place myself in the back of LIFE and not being an active participant as a creator of me and thus this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself and who I am and what I can say, express, do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR living – what I SEE and to act, to respond, to be responsible, and to rather give into the fear as reasons, justifications and logic to why I am not living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish this headache away without having to physical correct myself of having to investigate the headache and how its manifestation came to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the headache and to just want the headache to go away, the same way as I have dealt with creating the headache to when and as I see what is here o be done, to be lived to bring about my utmost potential, to just make it go away and to just not having to live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight the headache, just as I have been fighting myself to live and to let go of fear to stop the thinking about it and to rather LIVE it and be it, to test it out to develop myself and to be HERE.

I commit myself to when and as I see what is here as to live, to be my utmost potential, to act upon it, to breathe and to push through to not accept and allow ME to become thought, to exist as thought and every other dimension that then forms and takes creation within me as thoughts/thinking and imagination, that is always of consequences that isn’t best for all, and not myself but harmful to the body and of abuse.

I just don’t FEEL like it – that’s all, Day 8 of 21 – Day 593

I just don’t feel like it = confirmation of mind-control, what is this FEELing? (the only things we should be feeling with is the physical, like our hands) where does it come from? And how can it decide for you what to do or not to do? How can this “I just don’t feel like it” even make you NOT act and live what is presented to you in common sense and what’s best for all LIFE?
Let me go a bit deeper, more personal.

Have you ever seen a healthy person, they are Fit and young and it looks like they have all the energy in the world to do whatever they want – but as soon as they need to do anything that isn’t for themselves, they will state “I just don’t feel like it” – not per say in those exact way, in fact they will say “I just don’t feel like it” in every possible way they can except that direct. Because what will happen if this person had to directly say to your face “ I just don’t feel like it” – especially if you just asked them to help you carry a heavy cupboard and you have an injured back from previously lifting something heavy all alone. Such a person will then have to face themselves, their utter dishonesty and abuse of the physical, where their body, their being everything is ONLY for themselves, which will directly confirm why the world is fucked, how can such a person live – love thy neighbor as thy self, give as you would like to receive, do onto another as you would like to be done onto – when a feeling decides everything, how YOU feel about it. Shame, poor you. The luxury to participate in the “I just don’t feel like it” – while 25 000 children die of starvation a day, maybe they wanted to say, you know what, today I just don’t feel like it, to starve, let’s give it a break, how about children Dying in war right now? How about the ocean and air and forests and well, basically the entire earth that is raped and fucked, could just say, HEY, you know what, I just don’t feel like it” let’s stop existing, let’s stop giving air to all living things on earth, just for today. Fuck it, because we just don’t feel like it, let’s at least make up a damn good reason why we aren’t able to do anything, lets at least give a super duper good reason that makes sense, that sounds logical, that sounds like a line of good words, just to east the minds of why we just don’t give a fuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do something just because I do not feel like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question where this feeling comes from that feels like it has taken control over my entire body to just not feel like doing anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the resistance I experience to move myself from the feeling of “I just do not feel like it” power over my common sense and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that just like trinity in the matrix movie number one where she jumped through the window and fell on the floor with her guns pointed at the window waiting for the agent to get her, she has to remind herself to MOVE, to get up and move, to not give the time for the agent to get to that point where it is too late and to then face the consequences, but to get myself OUT of the feeling, the wanting to wait rather than moving myself, wanting to just lay and do nothing based on a feeling, than stand UP and move myself to be the one directing, to take action, to live what is best for all and not give time to the agents of the system as my thoughts, as my MIND to take me over.