It is late now, I have just gotten back from doing some recordings, and it is already late, I feel like just getting into bed and sleeping, or doing something else and relaxing, my Son even asked me to go to bed and watch a movie with him, but here I am, I have committed myself to write daily again. I am now living this commitment, I am going to write this blog and the go to bed with my son to watch something with him and relax with him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider to NOT live up to my commitment and to rather give into the temptation of the mind as just relaxing and doing nothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge writing and self-forgiveness as not relaxing but rather work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to just go sit down and do nothing is more rewarding and better for me than to write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to rather write will mean I am losing out on something else, such as sitting and doing nothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to just go sit and do nothing instead of writing will give me more energy and support me more to “rest” yet I know this is a repetitive addictive pattern of simply not doing anything, and yet writing has proven to support me in fact and actually help me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as VALID to simply not write and just sit down and do nothing as if I am resting, and thus using an excuse that will and can always and forever be justified and thus I can end up never writing, as I can simply always be too tired and go with that and never push for change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to use physical conditions and reasons as to why not write is me enslaving myself to never write or change, as the physical will always then not be ready, and thus I see and realize I must actually push through these PHYSICAL resistances and excuses and reasons I have built and maintained to justify myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use tiredness and the PAST as to why I am tired and why I should not do more and rather do nothing as an excuse and reason to not write, and thus enslaving myself once again to never face myself or change or take action, and thus I also see and realize that this isn’t only going to count for my writings but will and are seeping into all other parts of my life, and thus pushing through this point of writing and not using time as an excuse will support me equally to also push through other points in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to WANT to simply go with and use the excuse and reason of my environment to hold me back from not writing self-forgiveness and taking self-responsibility for myself and to then always be able to say, BUT my this or that happened, or took place so I could not write, such as my son that just now requested for me to go lay down with him and just watch movies, I was tempted to simply go with him and say fuck it to writing, but instead of saw that I could write if I do not go for the temptation and then agree with him as his age and time that he can watch his movie instead next to me till I am done, and thus seeing that my initial reason without testing or trying out different ways to write was me wanting to have the easy way out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that to apply the tool of writing self-forgiveness daily on anything and everything I face is to MOVE within the physical and to stop the mind is necessary for change this life time as to rebirth myself as life one and equal, and thus when and as I do NOT write and resist to write or even justify to not write and come up with all seemingly good reasons to not write, that I am in and of the mind and nothing more or less than that.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to push through to write openly every single day self-forgiveness as a self-commitment to myself as rebirthing myself as LIFE and to not give into the pre-programmed habits and patterns of the mind that justifies my limited existence as energy, as moods as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become on a physical level that has enslaved me to my habits and patterns on a daily basis and to push through to change through writing out the patterns and habits that constitute me, till who I have defined myself as the believes and ideas and opinions around myself are completely obliterated and to even then push beyond that.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to FULLY grasp the extent of how much the MIND is directing me through how much I resist writing self-forgiveness that I can even justify that I have nothing to write about and that I thus do not have to write at all. THUS not seeing and realizing that this process isn’t preprogramed and WILL not come easy or automatically to ANYONE as it isn’t in anyone’s pre-programming and thus does not follow a program and requires WILL to push through as breathing, and to be a DIRECTIVE author of oneself and one’s life to take action and write and open up willingly points that isn’t even here yet is here by the fact that they can be opened up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a things as a justification, an excuse or a valid reason for why I am NOT writing OPENLY in my journey with Desteni within the tools provided and all the support given such as TIME being a problem, or mental emotional burdens that is going on or are going through and thus not writing, or that I am to stressed, too fearful to write,, and thus do not write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as an excuse that is valid for not writing self-forgiveness, and thus I see and realize that as long as there is an excuse within me then I am NOT self-honest and thus abusing LIFE and the time that I have here in the physical at this moment to only entertain the mind and self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as having NO time to write self-forgiveness due to some excuse or justification or reason, and thus I see and realize that any excuse or reason or justification is all but of the mind that is keeping me back from expanding and growing as LIFE as the mind can always find time for being lazy, depressed, or watching TV or Youtube videos of hours nonstop till one drops to sleep or dead, yet writing is apparently too much and just another burden, and thus confirming the minds power and control over self-will.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that if I resist applying self-forgiveness in writing on all my points that I face daily and to even move beyond that into the points as me as the world system then I am literally trapped in the mind as fear, only entertaining a prison of my own creation and feeding a self-destructive system till I die and never changing and rebirthing myself as life, and thus I see and realize that if I am not willing to PASSIONATELY push myself to sit and write, that I am in fact NOT grasping the TRUTH as the denial of what is here as LIFE and why I must change and take FULL responsibility for myself as all LIFE that is here in all dimensions this life time, to stand as life and to actually walk as an example for myself as all life to create heaven on earth for all life as me here.
I commit myself to write daily self-forgiveness.
I commit myself to expose al my excuses and justifications and reasons for not writing self-forgiveness daily and writing and speaking it.
I commit myself to challenge myself in all my excuses, justifications and reasons to why I seemingly cannot write self-forgiveness daily.
I commit myself to expose my own insecurities of writing and applying self-forgiveness daily OPENLY for all to see and to stand as a point of real change in real support for others in real points I face that others deem to personal to expose and share, yet this is what the world needs as this is what I truly need to change.
I commit myself to write daily for myself as myself as my honesty till I am self-honest and standing as life for the next 7 years, testing my breathing my commitment daily.
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