Day 401 – Discipline Part 3


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that discipline is something easy and that it should just come naturally to me, seeing and realizing that discipline in its design requires discipline to live discipline, a constant practice and pushing oneself in and as the physical, moving and directing self within reality to start and to finish and to be consistent, to not let any wants/desires be a distraction or any mood or thought/feeling/emotion drive one elsewhere, but to remain disciplined to push through till it is done, if it is building a cupboard, painting a wall, starting a business, daily work, doing dishes or cleaning ones room. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as incapable of self-discipline, discipline within breathing and being the director of my life in each breathe and directing what needs to be done within common sense and practicality and not as the wants/desires of the mind as energy as distractions/temptations to sabotage myself and my direct real time living/participation in and as the physical as matter as that which matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project discipline as something that will always come as something that I must struggle through and breathe through and push through, seeing and realizing that living and applying myself  as self-discipline as discipline in each breathe and actually living the correction of and as discipline will be something new for me in the beginning, but over time as within all other things in my past that has come to who I am now without any effort, so will discipline become who I am as a living word, as it will simply be who I am and thus determine what I do and no effort, no pushing/struggling or resistance will be here, thus I see and realize that I must make peace with the process of creating myself within the word discipline and that it will be a process of Physical change within space and time and that in space and time it will become effortless as it will be who I have created/defined myself as a living word within the principles of oneness and equality as that which is best for all life, where discipline is not a thought/feeling/emotion based action but a physical practical common sense physical living as me in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling and making mistakes within re-defining the word discipline for myself and correcting myself according to this new definition and that it might turn out wring, seeing and realizing that when and as I follow Physical common sense and practicality as the principal of oneness and equality within what’s best for all life and stick to that, that what I re-define my word as within that and live that that I cannot go wrong and only improve and correct myself along the way – seeing and realizing that only the mind will create doubt and fear as to hold me back from changing and from actually taking self-responsibility for myself and how and who I am within the physical as a participant within the words I live and how it effect my daily life and the lives of others and inevitably the world and the earth as a whole and that the mind will attempt to keep me locked in a cycle of thought/feeling/emotion just for the sake of energy where I am chained to my current definition of the word discipline which has no definition really, and no direction, and thus I see and realize that I stick to the plan, disciPLAN and I follow through using and utilizing the tools of Desteni of BREATHING, writing and applying self-forgiveness and being honest with myself in each moment and to push myself within this process of re-birthing myself as LIFE as the living words so that a new life that is best for all can be birthed by example - living example.

To be continued.


Day 400 - Discipline Part 2.

Self - forgiveness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear discipline, seeing and realizing that I have learned/defined discipline as something that is a burden, something that is forced onto me, and thus seeing it as something that isn’t necessary for me yet it is asked of me from someone else, as discipline has never been taught to me within understanding of its importance and how I live it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define discipline as being a burden for me, seeing and realizing that discipline as I have defined it within the past is the only burden I can have, as the discipline as memory of the past is all of the past attached to it within the word as its definition in relation to who I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative emotional experience towards the word discipline and having to be disciplined and attaching the word Burden to the word discipline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Burden myself with the Ideas/Beliefs/opinions that I have taken on from others or created for myself through interpreting what discipline means through my environmental influences, instead of taking self-responsibility to pick up a dictionary and to see what the actual definition is of discipline is and to not create a definition of what discipline is, through years of memory and experiences that is all based on “abstract” definitions that is specific according to each and every one that had a influence in/on my life in relation to learning/understanding and living the word discipline according to their back grounds and pasts, seeing and realizing that my current definition of discipline and how I have been living the word discipline cannot be trusted at all as it isn’t really defined as a word in itself that I can practically take and live/apply as myself in all aspects of life, but that what I currently have as a definition of discipline is all but past/memories/experiences which is all energy based such as thoughts/feelings/emotions and thus nothing solid/real that I can use to stand by and to walk and live by as myself as Who I am as the living word discipline. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel/belief that when and as a point of discipline is asked of me that it is being forced upon me, seeing and realizing that this is the past as memories as experiences that is a reaction in the moment coming up in relation to what I have connected to the word discipline and defined the word discipline as and thus the feeling of me being forced is simply my own definition of the word that I have given it, attached to it and thus it isn’t real, as when I have to take the word discipline and look in the dictionary what it means then nowhere does it say – something that is being forced onto you, thus seeing and realizing that this is my point that I have to take self-responsibility for and to stop the past forcing itself onto the percent moment where I have windows of opportunities to create myself, to decide for myself how I am going to experience myself through stopping the past to influence me here and to redefine the word Discipline to a word that is neutral and practical and livable and a word that I can stand by and live that word for eternity as myself as who I am. A word that is best for all as it can stand and work for all equally and thus trust worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the Belief/idea/opinion within my mind towards the word discipline – that it isn’t something for me, as I have always only been asked to be disciplined or felt like it has been forced onto me by others and thus it never came to me naturally,, and only from others, and thus made the conclusion that I don’t need discipline as only OTHERS are asking it of me. Seeing and realizing that this is me abdicating my self-responsibility to be disciplined, blaming others or putting the responsibility on others to be disciplined or ask for discipline, when I could have seen for myself within common sense that to move from point A to point B requires discipline, yet I did not do this and always ended up at point blank zero somewhere between A and B.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Define my relationship within and towards the word and the application of discipline as – something I do not need, I will just go with the flow – seeing and realizing how SOO many things in my life never worked out because of this word that I fucked up and never defined for myself and only went with the flow. Instead of developing actual discipline for myself to follow through with a plan, or to create a plan and to follow through to the end, this is the plan – Discipline.

Day 399 – Discipline Part 1

Discipline – One of the points I have been struggling with all my life, I may have been in a school with a lot of discipline, but that did not teach me discipline, because it was discipline forced onto me, not taught to me.

So I never developed discipline, I only developed a way not to do things unless I am forced with discipline, and this has many consequential outflows in my life.

Because after school, and after leaving the house, I am alone – I have to now have discipline to make it on my own, yet what the fuck is discipline, I am used to someone telling me stand straight, or I get smacked, or cut your damn hair, keep your nails short, stand in the line, do not speak when you are standing in the line, you better have your homework done tomorrow, OR you will get detention or you will get six of the best (implying six shots to the ass with a stick) or you will have to deal with the authorities.

So I learned through a nice twelve years of this that discipline is something you force onto someone, and that it is something someone has to force onto you – for you to have it, or something really bad has to be waiting for me ahead before I can or must be discipline.

Now I am here, I am faced with having no discipline within simple daily tasks, simple things that needs to be done.

Because there aren’t any BIG consequences lying/awaiting ahead, there is no one threatening me, there is only me – Do I have to create fear for myself to be disciplined – do I have to become paranoid within certain things in my life just to get it done? Which is what I do and it isn’t an effective way.

No – with Desteni I have learned that I am the living words, thus I am living the words I have learned/lived/and accordingly somehow defined through all that, and the definition is what I am living.

So I must simply delete the old definition that I have been living and actually check what is the current definition, as I strangely never picked up a dictionary in my life to check what the word for itself is defined as, and to then re-define the word to a word that I can live by practically and that can be equally applied by all – to a living word that is best for all life.

Is this illegal – Fuck no.

I have looked at the word Discipline a few times in my life, as it was pointed out to me that I do not have discipline, I have recognized my weakness – a weakness within discipline, as discipline is in fact a very important thing we all need to develop.

When I sound the word discipline I hear –“ this is the plan”-- I can see within my life that whenever I had plans I lacked the discipline to follow through from the beginning to the end, to have that discipline to walk all the way, I would usually quite halfway or go adrift and then the point is just gone, over, or to be honest I would never even have a real plan, just a quick solution, a Idea.

Since we live on a Planet (PLAN IT) where you need discipline to live the plan on the planet – where we need to plan it all as our responsibility -  yet we do not do this and just go with the flow – which is a fuck up because we would even take the flow if it leads off a cliff to our doom.

So we all lack the discipline– this is the plan, the plan for the planet , no one has a plan to live or follow through on – and since we all share this one PLANet. Where the plan is to create a life/world where life can live for eternity that in its implication means a world that is best for all life, which supports all life equally within harmony, where money does not harm any.

And thus I can see on an individual level as myself as an example, how this one point of discipline within me is fucked and thus within almost everyone else as well, because we all have the same basic educational system that teaches the same to us all to have the same products/humans coming out that can continue the same system that only benefits a few, and how that leads to what we all call life now, and what exist in fact here on earth, where everything is suffering and dying and being abused and raped and profited off, except the few with money, which still includes me as I am still in a home with food and water and basic needs – I am including all life in this equation as that is what matters.

it is clear, discipline goes hand in hand within what is here - or should I say No discipline, there is no plan, and soon no Plannet. 

To be continued.

Bernard Poolman – My Birth Till his “Death”.

Bernard Poolman - A man who walked as an example in fact that we each are responsible for all that is here and that we are LIFE in fact, and that we all must re-birth ourselves as life one and equal, and he gave the tools of how he walked the process, he lived as an example, he stood as the Physical as life.- he started what we all Know as (Desteni Universe) and the Desteni that is the only Desteni for Humanity if we ever want to change and create heaven on earth. check out the Blog:

Creations Journey to Life - by Bernard poolman.

When I was told about Bernard’s Death the same morning he was declared dead on August 11 2013 at 2:50 in the morning South African time. I was Shocked, the shock was that it was unexpected and sudden, yet that’s just Bernard – that’s how I have known Bernard all my life.

Usually when something or someone died in my Life I would have so many thoughts (memories) feelings/emotions coming up, running through me and I would cry like a baby, when I heard of Bernard’s Death that morning – Nothing came up such as thoughts/feelings/emotions, yes I did have an experience of anxiety which was related to my self-interest, as what will I do now. That only lasted a few seconds as I breathed and made my decision, I do this till its done.

There was something new that I have never experienced before – it was a moment of HERE, I could see Bernard here as me, meaning as a physical expression, as Bernard has always done – he did not create memories (me more Lies) he was the living flesh and thus each moment he was living as life, and what he showed me and taught me and what he helped me with through my life and the past six years Living with Bernard on the farm, was all Physical real things, nothing Bernard did was done from a thought/feeling/emotion, it was always Physical real time interaction.

I realized in that moment how much of Bernard I have become, not Bernard as his name or as a personality as energy or as a memory, but the Living actions, the living words that he has spoken and moved as for as long as I could remember, the Living example, which is what I have learned and integrated as me from living Bernard’s example.

I have known Bernard all my life, he was friends with my parents and they were in the police together way before I was even born, after I was born we would go visit Bernard every few years, like every two/three years or so, it isn’t a lot, but every time it was unexpected and sudden.

Every time we visited Bernard our lives changed, my parents would become less strict and limited within how they were parenting us, for instance our allowances would increase, we would be able to draw on the walls and put stickers on our cupboards and get some more candy, we learned more discipline and we learned to express ourselves more in our lives, as Bernard always opened up everyone’s deception and lies and manipulations in the open for all to see, and through this exposure we could all forgive each other and realize our one and equal participation and change to that which is best/better for all, as Bernard would show us step by step how we created it and how we participated and how we do it – this is referring to before the portal opened and how Desteni process is now – yet how it all came to what it is today.

He introduced us to a whole new world so to say – aliens/ufo’s/spirituality, card readings. Crystals/chakras/tarot cards/channeling, I mean everything – we would never have expanded or considered anything else besides our own little bubbles we called living, if it wasn’t for Bernard.

Bernard would always investigate ALL the points possible when we visited him, he would really talk and ask many many question and would always go to a common sense point that is practical, he would share with us all his findings and how he found it and how he is practically living change and how he has changed and where he has changed and he would always encourage us to also change, be our potential instead of our limitations, this is how I have learned to know Bernard at a young age already.

Bernard and me and some others having some fun out on the porch

When I came to Desteni Farm in 2008 the ninth of July – I came with the purpose of learning how to live practically, how to use my hands and How to live within common sense, my Goal was to work on the farm for six months and go home.

Within the six months I was working, I had Bernard around me all the time, he was showing us/me what to do, how to do things, and most of all He SHOWED me in real time how to look at all things in common sense, something I never learned at school or home or anywhere else, to investigate things for myself real time, in a way that the common sense can be applied everywhere and not just within that which he is showing me in that moment, because Bernard would show me why I have to Bolt a roof raft to the pole instead of just hammering it in with a nail, he would give me all the dimensions and consequential outflows of not doing it within common sense, when common sense is in consideration of all things and that always include all things and that is the Obvious. Yet we miss the obvious because we live in our minds driven by alternate realities and false images, thus complicating everything that is obvious with opinions/beliefs/ideas as the ego.

Bernard was and has always been the only consistent being I have known throughout my life, when everything and everyone has changed and even me, I always knew that Bernard is a rock, and that I can ask him or go to him with anything and he would give me not the answer I wanted, but a real answer, the straight forward common sense answer and to face myself self-honestly where I am left with making decisions.

I knew about the process long before I came to the farm, yet I did not want to walk it, but through Bernard’s words and living actions as a living example in each breath and never changing and being so damn consistent, I could not deny what was here any longer, the common sense is - that I have to walk this process for myself, That I must re-birth myself as life, and Bernard unconditionally – even when I wasn’t doing process consciously – he did not and never accepted me as less then what he knew my true potential to be, that I could not even see, till he showed me and till I have lived it for myself.

I have learned so much from Bernard it is impossible to place it all on paper or in this blog, Bernard has done so much for me it is impossible to do all that here on paper as well. I am giving living examples and that is all I can do - and now I have realized, it is my time to walk and to do the same, as what Bernard has done for me for the past six years and since I can remember him, he did not ask anything in return but that I make the decision to walk or not and to live by that decision and to honor that decision to the end, and I am walking as Life, I have never said thank you to Bernard or given him a Hug, I always wanted to, yet I held back.

Bernard once stood outside my room, as I walked out he asked what’s up?, I said: nothing much, he then lifted his arms up and he took a deep breath, he placed his fingers into a fist firmly and he held himself Big and tall, and he said: I am the Universe – he called me to stand next to him, he said now do that: I am the Universe, I lifted my arms and I took a deep breath and I said: I am the Universe, I laughed and it was funny for me, he then said, do this till you in fact stand as the Universe.

Thank you Bernard, I walk, I stand, I re-birth myself as life so that I as You, as the living example, can show that it is all possible for all of us to walk as one and equals and stand in fact as the Universe. Time to stand and live by principle and to walk till this is done.

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