Day 502 – what Bernard taught me Part 1

I have decided to write up a couple of parts of my blog about Bernard Poolman and what I have learned from him, and what he has shown me – these are personal experiences and a very BIG part of who I am today.

As a young man, living with Bernard I had the opportunity to firsthand experience (with many other people) what the living embodiment is of the principles of LIFE is/mean, living what is best for all life in each and every breathe where nothing can move this stance.

one of the first things I learned from Bernard by just being around him, not even saying a word or being close to me, was that I exited as fear and nothing else, BUT that I can be anyone without fear, this is the part that Bernard would always embrace when he did talk to me, when he come close to me, the utmost potential, the point of empowerment.

For example – I was busy one day on the farm closing up the sewage tanks, after the trucks came and emptied them – to place the lid back onto the sewage tank is extremely difficult, as it has no handles and it is a perfect fit, meaning, if I do not drop the lid back on square, it falls into the hole.

I was resisting doing this; I stood by the tank for about 5min just postponing doing this simple task, because I feared dropping it in. Then Bernard came and he just stood there, he said: do not fear doing it, just do it, stop the thought, but the fear was so ingrained, that one thought had such a massive grip on my mind and letting it go seemed so impossible, because I have never before in my life considered that I can stop a thought and just not have it, and I now just relied on HOPE and luck to get it on, not on me doing it. So I picked the lid up, I stood over the hole and BOOM it fell into the stinking sewage tank; this meant I had to climb in and fetch it.

After coming out, Bernard said, what you fear is what you will create, and I just had real time evidence right there, because all that was in me was the thought the fear, and the fear was projecting what I might do or not do and that’s what I then lived, so Bernard walked away.

Now it was just me and this lid. I stood there for a couple of seconds just breathing and attempting to remove the fear, but I just suppressed it, so I placed one sentence of Self forgiveness for myself softly so I could hear myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot stop a thought – but really meaning it, really holding it within me when I said it.

And I picked the lid up, I felt light inside and no fear, but a bit nervous – and I just did it, NO thoughts, I didn’t think about it – as the thinking produced the fear, and I dropped the lid on perfectly, I was so happy that I did that.

I learned not only what Bernard told me, but also that it is within the small things where I justify FEAR for existing as being okay, that I am accepting and allowing myself to live as fear and that any form of fear, no matter how big or small and that it starts with the thoughts – I need to apply Self forgives and stop all fear so that I can be HERE and live my utmost potential.