continuing from Day 462 survival mode and money
The matter of facts is that we live in a material world. Without the materials we can’t do or make anything that is of basic needs, the earth is one big ball of materials and it can be made, shapes and molded to all kinds of different forms, some materials we don’t need to change but simply collect.
I as an individual requires some of these materials like all other people, animals or plants, and for me to have it I need money.
So currently survival isn’t optional, I have to survive. BUT who I am within surviving is the one thing that I can change.
Because I can look at survival as a practical application within the system that is here, it is a simple equation that I can apply on a daily basis, there does not have to be any experience attached to me surviving, or any thoughts or emotions or any feelings towards it.
But instead there can be me deciding who I am going to be within applying myself on a daily basis to ensure my survival and to within this not make/create survival as a mind possession of self-interest, but a simple practical equation.
Who have I been within this survival mode within this system designed to force modern man into living in a modern time with a cave man mentality.
I have been fearful, I have been tired, I have been paranoid, I have been anxious, I have been feeling like there is no way out, I have been feeling that there will never be an end, I have been feeling that I am stuck in one cycle over and over, I have been feeling that this is how my life will be forever no matter how much I push and try and change my circumstances, I have been feeling that the system just isn’t big enough for me to push and go beyond where I am within the system currently, I have been feeling that the system is falling and thus there is no point in me pushing the system, I have been feeling that by the time I succeed the system will collapse and all my effort is for nothing, I have been feeling like there is no place for me in the higher places in the system and that it is full, I have been feeling that money is limited and thus no way for me to make money, I have been feeling fragile in the system fighting every day to make that money, I have been negative towards myself within the money system, I have been anxious towards myself working in the money system, I have been giving up on myself ever reaching that goal that I have set and that I have been applying the equal pressure to reach it, yet it just never comes, I have been not believing in myself, I have been not believing in the system, I have been doubting money itself, I have been feeling stagnant within myself and within the system in terms of money movement as if I just cannot move money, I have been hating money, I have been hating people with money, I have been placing myself outside the rich people scope, I have been seeing myself less than successful people, I have Not been moving as breath as I fear time isn’t enough, I have been fearing running out of time as it feels like money is running out of my country, I have been feeling that I must have one point of success at least by now with all that I have done, I have been feeling that the whole system is against me and me making some of the money within it, I have been feeling that maybe there is someone deliberately pushing me out of the system and reaching the money that is here,
And that someone lives in my head, ME
To be continued.