Quote: “I am walking outside – I just came form the dam, I am tired and hot, my body feels like a bag of sand that can just lay down – we have been laying bags of sand on the dam wall all morning, this is about 4 hours of working with heavy bags, moving them and picking them up and so forth. I just want to get to the house and take my gumboots off, my feet are boiling in them and it feels like the skin can tear off my toes – I get irritated by this and I am hungry.” Quote end.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no see and realize that when and as I go into or have thoughts of future projection where I see myself in my house taking my gumboots off and just sitting down and having a rest, that I am within this compromising myself within the present and what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I create future projections as thoughts as a desired moment in the future – that I will create conflict and reactions within the actual current present moments here as anything that comes up in the moment here will be a conflict of interest to what I have foreseen myself doing, and to within this “rush” and not do things properly in full consideration and awareness as for example if I am asked to take down a crate from a shelf while I am walking to/into my future projection that I will rush it and harm myself/my body as I reacted/resisted the task that was asked of me in the present moment – instead of breathing being here where I can consider what is here and accordingly move and direct myself effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I am don with work such as lifting and moving heavy bags all morning and my feet are saw from wearing and tearing them in gumboots and thus feel like they are burning and is saw – to make and create it into a thought/feeling experience that leads to me rushing myself and not being aware of what is here, but that it is to BREATH and be here and to see what I can do in the present practically to solve the problem, as the present solution will be to see that I can take off my gumboots at the nearest area where it is “save” and thus do not have to wait till I only get to my house and in between still wear them the whole time – seeing and realizing that because I went into thought/projection instead of breathing I missed the obvious point/solution.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am done with heavy work – to use the Idea/belief that I have done heavy work as a reason excuse in my mind as back chat – for/when someone asks me to do something on my way back home, to be able to say NO I worked hard already and I am tired and want to get my gumboots off and eat – and where I use these points in back chat to generate a case in court where I can defend my justifications/reasons to not help or to why I am helping but that it is me being KIND as a way of threatening people, as if I am saying, If I wasn’t kind you would have been suffering now – instead of seeing and realizing that Breathing is the actual real solution where there is no reasons and justifications needed to what is here, so If I am breathing and someone asks me to do something for them such as lifting crates off a shelf, that I would not react and answer from a programmed response, but that I would be able to consider the physical which would be what is here, where I look at my body in the moment and if I am capable of helping or not – thus making it a yes or no answer and to direct the situation practically from here, this is ten time s simpler and better and no ego that can feel it got harmed or have to prove something etc.
To be Continued.