tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67574105934599074012024-03-15T03:56:37.898+02:00Gian's Journey to Life."In this journey the patterns that constitute what we have accepted as Our Reality will be deconstructed through self forgiveness and re-constructed through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life."Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.comBlogger699125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-1215799529306772772023-07-09T23:58:00.002+02:002023-07-10T00:08:31.377+02:00Victimization - Self-Forgiveness<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPkfNr41fGivji5R0UfnkXKhI5suLwla2nfqEZ0Hzrc5pxwJ23TFa5l9_U8qd3OeBxp-dWo6VsVWjofsCDawFO4w6YP84iqFL1wTezrjlXBvTFO_7VqJ8pWsBQhHCvdeWRCL4Hgo5SO2dqnG49MjgWWuJCZzopgdgK3OgNW40CalPAS0JNqfYI55mxG9Q/s1252/Victimization.jpg2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1252" data-original-width="825" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPkfNr41fGivji5R0UfnkXKhI5suLwla2nfqEZ0Hzrc5pxwJ23TFa5l9_U8qd3OeBxp-dWo6VsVWjofsCDawFO4w6YP84iqFL1wTezrjlXBvTFO_7VqJ8pWsBQhHCvdeWRCL4Hgo5SO2dqnG49MjgWWuJCZzopgdgK3OgNW40CalPAS0JNqfYI55mxG9Q/w422-h640/Victimization.jpg2.jpg" width="422" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p> </p><p>First realization/insight of the word. <br /><br />I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the word VICTIMIZATION does not mean I am victimizing myself, that it is showing others are victimizing themselves by making me or others cruel or unjust in how they view things within a victim mentality, and thus place themselves as victims and thus whatever I/you say within self-responsibility is/are diminished as they are now victims of YOU/I and not of their own doing through using the past/events/circumstances to victimize themselves as not responsible, but you are. <br /><br />I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR standing up, speaking and saying what is needed as what is here as best for all life without the fear of victimization from others. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear victimization from others, that I would lose my stance, my standing within what is best for all, as I fear I will give into their reasons and justifications for being victims instead of standing as life, as what is best for all as self-responsibility. </p><p>Take a LOOK at the definition of victimization (different then victimizing and victim) <br /><span></span></p><div class="LTKOO sY7ric" data-topic=""><div style="margin-left: 20px;"><div class="LTKOO sY7ric" style="margin-left: -20px;"><div><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>the action of </span><span class="AraNOb"><a class="rMNQNe" data-ved="2ahUKEwiKt-f9wYKAAxUMZzABHWBCB6cQyecJegQIJRAK" href="https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&sxsrf=AB5stBiqIKVbmVggAMCh3YnoPMSH6nZdEg:1688936291889&q=singling&si=ACFMAn-fuhiZynqzEWN5DhRvBVhtvxF6rlu-yy5Q1VnUpKqWTR-bzeAbBlQI0uPr2zmB3jfZVPBXxmluQ-viAzvndC3qjwhUCw%3D%3D&expnd=1" tabindex="0">singling</a></span><span> someone out for </span><span class="AraNOb"><a class="rMNQNe" data-ved="2ahUKEwiKt-f9wYKAAxUMZzABHWBCB6cQyecJegQIJRAL" href="https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&sxsrf=AB5stBiqIKVbmVggAMCh3YnoPMSH6nZdEg:1688936291889&q=cruel&si=ACFMAn_Hp-Itxgrvlkmz06srbzjK7ihJf4IS12gz_nMwmpyi32oSOHVVCJKLSi4Iwnb0GqCi0-6-f7f4u5qMdDEkbEul1wR29A%3D%3D&expnd=1" tabindex="0">cruel</a></span><span> or </span><span class="AraNOb"><a class="rMNQNe" data-ved="2ahUKEwiKt-f9wYKAAxUMZzABHWBCB6cQyecJegQIJRAM" href="https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&sxsrf=AB5stBiqIKVbmVggAMCh3YnoPMSH6nZdEg:1688936291889&q=unjust&si=ACFMAn8Vh8Mk37drt2pTIRWqgL6eMNwU-zjKN0rlTAJ3Cut5w15twr5OMxEeb-RbfWuQd_vYVXwC-T13FbrGkzxpKuyi2cgv_w%3D%3D&expnd=1" tabindex="0">unjust</a></span><span> treatment.</span></div><div class="vmod"><div class="ubHt5c">"we should be able to speak up without fear of victimization"</div><div class="ubHt5c"> </div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to people that participate in victimization and to go into the believe that they have a point as to victimizing themselves, and so within that curl up and crawl back into my corner. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone is victimizing to go into their points and to then think, they are right, they are victims and I am cruel and evil for standing within common sense and what is best for all as self responsibility. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR someone else playing victimization, as to make me cruel and singling me out for unjust behaviour by speaking what is here as common sense within WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL as self-responsibility. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how much of humanity play the victimization card to not take self responsibility for their actions and their living and the circumstances here on life, through making others cruel and unjust, yet they who victimize as self-righteousness do nothing real or practical that is within self-responsibility. </div><div class="ubHt5c"> </div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself with victimization of others. </div><div class="ubHt5c"> </div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that victimize (blame, make them cruel, unjust) others as placing themselves as victims in their reasons and justifications. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that when I deal with others who Victimize as victimizating others, that if I react and stop acting and standing, I am judging them and so I fall into the exact same boat of victimization and thus I am no different, and so within that create a reality of victims, as no one stand. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">BACK TO SELF<br /><br />I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to VICTIMIZE others, such as the world system, the world leaders, the Elite, RACE, where I have placed responsibility onto them as being the CRUEL and UNJUST ones, which places me in a position of being the VICTIM that can apparently do nothing and must just victimize, blame and point fingers to feel empowered in a weird way. <br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize my family, where I make them cruel and unjust for the things they did and place myself outside of responsibility where I can now simply remain as a victim that has no part to play within my mind of delusions, as to not correct anything within reality. <br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize my work colleges, where I make them cruel and unjust within their actions and what they have done/doing, as to say to myself that I NEVER had anything to do with it, as I am apparently not cruel and unjust and so place myself in a corner where I can now act as a "victim" of my mind, leaving no point of self-responsibility open to stand equal and to change anything. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to VICTIMIZE my partner/husband/wife, where they can not say anything, do anything, as I am placing all cruelty and unjust onto them, as to make them the perpetrators of victimization, as if they create victims, taking no self-responsibility or responsibility for our life together. <br /><br />I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a perpetrator of victimizing myself as to always blame others as creating victims through their actions, not seeing and realizing that I am the one playing victim making other victim creators as a way to hide from myself and self-responsibility to take action and live as a co-creator. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a VICTIMIZER - as someone that places all responsibility onto others as a way to create out of them people that ONLY creates VICTIMS and so I am a victim, as I have been part of their lives, NEVER taking responsibility for myself, my actions, my thoughts, my words and just place it onto others. <br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and REALIZE that victimization is a CHARACTER that runs around using stories, the past, circumstances and events to BLAME others as to why they are responsible for my life to be fucked, as they create "victims such as myself" as a back chat to their story that motivates them to continue to Victimized reality, and thus this character creates a NATION of victims with righteousness to be victims such as themselves, never taking a step in self-responsibility as a co-creator in life, equally, as I see and realize this character within me and I forgive this character, I let it all go, stand as responsibility, as reality, as one as equal within what is best for all life. </div><div class="ubHt5c"> </div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any form of victimization is BULLSHIT, for RACE, for POLITICS, for CULTURE, for ECONOMICS, all has to be taken back to self within self responsibility to actually change anything within this world to something worth LIFE as what is best for all life. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c">I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that the reason NOTHING has changed in life from Racial points, to politics to economics is because everyone is a character of VICTIMIZATION and no one is taking self-responsibility as LIFE as what has existed here in all ways for anyone and everything within all time, and so we have to STOP, slow down, see the cycle of victimization as making others, something else the point of cruelty and unjust, and to stop holding onto that as it has proven to do NOTHING that is best for all life, as we must learn to be responsible as co-creators that has always accepted and allowed everything together, and so we must come together within self-forgiveness to stand as examples of LIFE here within what is best for all life. </div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div><div class="ubHt5c"><br /></div></div></div></div></div></div><p></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-59673958902039836532023-07-08T07:53:00.002+02:002023-07-08T07:53:33.739+02:00Expectations and Blame - Self Forgiveness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ZVHFYzklIFMHWOHdCAYYypTBosxI3okXYXQocq1vz3AW9fNqhRb8eLANOBINSEiem7MHD-vfvYzk156wxIZI8NHLJLpqzTQ06O-Bkbm-_KkF8GMYYdlxkhnCW0pXInxzOhoqUf7V9zu_oYhADpkmMbVmcMhytGSseNfGniCGduZ2o5_buAxVEmronmg/s1920/water-g9785ae2b5_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ZVHFYzklIFMHWOHdCAYYypTBosxI3okXYXQocq1vz3AW9fNqhRb8eLANOBINSEiem7MHD-vfvYzk156wxIZI8NHLJLpqzTQ06O-Bkbm-_KkF8GMYYdlxkhnCW0pXInxzOhoqUf7V9zu_oYhADpkmMbVmcMhytGSseNfGniCGduZ2o5_buAxVEmronmg/w640-h360/water-g9785ae2b5_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span><span class="kqEaA z8gr9e">Expectations</span> is strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.<br /></span><span></span><span></span><div><div class="kVF6d"><div class="MiCl6d" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0;"><div class="c8d6zd xWMiCc"><span data-dobid="hdw"><br /></span></div></div><div aria-hidden="true" class="K6GhFd" data-is-bilingual="false"><span>Blame is to assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.</span></div></div></div><span> </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectations. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a state of expectation that things in my life and within this world will get better - without me having to do anything practical or real that directs my life and things in this world to be better. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that if I live in a state of expectations within me towards anything, that I am also create BLAME. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate RESPONSability by living in a state of expectations. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SIT in my mind and THINK about things I want to happen and then to create false realities within myself based on expectations, either from others or the world. and so if those realities within me does not manifest, or they do not happen, I then turn to BLAME as a way to assign responsibility to others as being wrong and at fault for those realities to not have manifested. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the world to work for me. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT others to understand me. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT when I do something that it MUST work immediately, or I will see no point in doing it and just give up. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the world as the system to CARE about me or my family, when I have not done anything to care myself by actually putting work in to change the world to a place of CARE. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT things from others that I only think about of within my mind and never actually making the effort to talk and communicate with them, and so within that when things do not work out, I end up blaming them and putting them at fault. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have NOT seen,realized and understood how expectations lead to inactivity, and so into blame.</span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectation, where just like with any believe, I will sit back and do nothing except expect. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create points of bLAME within my life towards others and attack them for expectations I had within me towards them and what I expected from them, never communicating/talking or even do the work and efforts in my life to create what it is I want. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that even if I communicate what I want/need etc with others, that I still can not create expectations, as I can only work with the physical reality and the results in the living that is here, anything else is a mind job that will end up in blame. <br /></span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD in my mind others hostage within expectations that I have of them or towards them. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself hostage to the expectations I place onto others within me, where I now have this voice in my head that secretly blame others or give them the fault for things not working or moving as I EXPECT within me, thus I see and realize I must drop all expectations, as I drop all blame and to take self responsibility living in reality with what is here to direct each day within each breathe as what is best for all. </span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><span><br /></span></div><p></p><p></p><div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;"><div><div class="kVF6d"><br /></div></div><span> </span></div><p></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-39277818234885950152023-07-06T05:51:00.006+02:002023-07-06T05:57:58.853+02:00Being NICE - NICENESS Self-Forgiveness <p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjS61NaE9yh3ZZJ1sJkTZ9HK0IV4TrIBKKX8PTpriHo4t_Y9TpwOfpJy4gX4IpzLCqsYSnrvEd7TlMPwcKa71FRkvhjHhzCNyjiOpJ-ctpMaHsIPmbk3V2LXIT_FxuK3Tf7INpk-D3TkBBHO2ys5Q7rZteMe4D-Y6NHriGLoWA_1qUJXUdobmEHFlX2Hc/s1920/mask-gca992cf32_1920.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjS61NaE9yh3ZZJ1sJkTZ9HK0IV4TrIBKKX8PTpriHo4t_Y9TpwOfpJy4gX4IpzLCqsYSnrvEd7TlMPwcKa71FRkvhjHhzCNyjiOpJ-ctpMaHsIPmbk3V2LXIT_FxuK3Tf7INpk-D3TkBBHO2ys5Q7rZteMe4D-Y6NHriGLoWA_1qUJXUdobmEHFlX2Hc/w640-h426/mask-gca992cf32_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p> </p><p>BE NICE - as my parents tell me as a child - Or ELSE<br /></p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed with the IDEA of being NICE, where I must pretend to be who I am not and to deny what I see is here for the sake of an IMAGE within the system. <br /></p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself within who I am as a child as my parents would say to me BE NICE, without understanding why, and what the reason is. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by telling myself I did not know the reason why I was told to BE NICE, as I could see and feel it, and so had to suppress myself for those false reasons of reality. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SMILE and be HAPPY when I meet others as to be NICE, yet the reality of what is here isn't nice and never was, and I had to go along with it or ELSE?? </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go along with the BE NICE or ELSE agenda through accepting FEAR of what else could happen within me. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what will happen if I am not nice, yet rather self-honest here within who I am as an expression of life within reality as what is best for all life. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a character that is always NICE, as I fear for my survival if I dare simply being here as what is here and to have real conversations, to really get to points, versus pretending as I was taught to do to survive or ELSE!!!</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR for my survival if I am not NICE, that people will hate me, place me aside, think I am rude, and so not give me the benefits of the system. </p><p>I forgive myself,f that I have accepted and allowed myself to to be NICE to the system that is currently here that enslaves humanity and tortures the innocent out of fear of becoming the tortured or the one that does not benefit from the system as billions do currently. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself create an image of me in my mind that is of the OPPOSITE of Nice if I dare letting go pretending to be nice, SEEING and realizing that is also part of the problem, the polarity and that I must simply develop and create myself within the principle of what is best for all, and so within that I will develop a me that is in each breath equal and one with who I am and nothing more and nothing less, as I remove Thoughts, feeling and emotions from the interaction, and instead replace it with equality as life between me and another with my mind involved, and thus coming a a point of self-honesty where there is no reaction, no judgement, nothing, except what is here in the moment to direct and move as each other as myself. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the implication of what it MEANs to be NICE and what they accepts and allows within humanity as a falsehood instead of a brotherhood. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see,realize and understand that teaching to be NICE just for the system sake, makes Children/people/adults gullible and easy to manipulate/deceive and to be abused, as a person, as I have, will only be nice no matter what, till it is too late and you are trapped in someone else mindfuck. such as child predators, scams, religions, school, politics, economics, name it all, the entire system around us as within us. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be NICE to my mind, yet all that exist on earth is cruelty. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE a pretend life of niceness and yet that niceness has shown NO results in the world becoming NICE and actually change to what is best for all life. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck with myself, my progress, my development within my process being being NICE and compromising myself in my NICE actions that aren't best for all, within self honesty. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself throughout my life by being nice, which created and creates consequences for all that isn't TRUE as they are based on being NICE within the system and so keep the system going that isn't nice at all. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have not seen and realize TRUE niceness is for me to wlak my process for me within my TOOLS, to utilize the tools I have to then LIVE the change, live what I see as best for all life in all ways to bring about a TRUE world that is NICE to all life, where my actions reflect ACTUAL true niceness from within and so without, to end all abuse in all ways. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear challenging myself to DROP being nice, and to in fact bring forth my expression that was suppressed through my acceptances and allowances as a child that was simply here, to bring myself back HERE in simplicity, to then walk and talk within and from principle as what is best for all life, and not as FEAR as the system to pretend and be false, mostly starting with myself through first applying my self forgiveness on my points to purify me to then live the self-realizations daily. <br /></p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge NICEness. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BLAME niceness as me. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that it is all about the starting point within WHO I am, and to live niceness, I must first actually be NICE as LIFE as all life, in my thoughts, words and actions to always honour LIFE and to never LIE to hide what is here as LIFE and that needs to change, and so from my starting point, I can be NICE, yet it has a purpose, a direction within who I am and what I stand by as LIFE as my principles in LIVING and words. <br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-19574297526409048002023-07-05T06:08:00.002+02:002023-07-05T06:08:30.896+02:00Self Honesty - Self forgiveness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyDHEl4BtOnGwW-Bg_Z5znsMASy9f-qSuGxfz5dgw8REpbhCQvyc5u7oH2ugKolgZv4zsMpBeNZzpoNqGDcgh3T3eo3SC589t0fPKbfENPlr8waofqnWb0CjPH4feXx6nZ5AVsH0xZVTow-k8_XRQHT1wxkqs7tbUUYGhV_TLBpkOji5C_aK8z3mspsww/s1280/transformation-ga3a4a9613_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1195" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyDHEl4BtOnGwW-Bg_Z5znsMASy9f-qSuGxfz5dgw8REpbhCQvyc5u7oH2ugKolgZv4zsMpBeNZzpoNqGDcgh3T3eo3SC589t0fPKbfENPlr8waofqnWb0CjPH4feXx6nZ5AVsH0xZVTow-k8_XRQHT1wxkqs7tbUUYGhV_TLBpkOji5C_aK8z3mspsww/w598-h640/transformation-ga3a4a9613_1280.jpg" width="598" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p> </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty is hard. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize and understand that when I experience self-honesty as HARD that I am not self-honest. <br /></p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty can be confusing. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see that when I am confused it is because I am NOT self-honest. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe as the EGO that I can simply be self-honest without doing the actual work within self-forgiveness. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place self-honesty within the limits of the MIND as ego, where I can be "honest" with myself as long as this honesty supports my mind as my thinking, my way, my points of view and thus never actually being self-honest. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-honesty to justify my actions/behaviours within self-interest as the mind, as long as I can say BUT I was honest with myself, and so only prove and show to what level I am dishonest, as I see and realize within self-honesty I must push a point within me till it can stand the test of time within what is best for all life as principle. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR my self-honesty and what the truth will be as what is here, to then actually start changing instead of justifying the mind. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I must push my self-honesty as far as I can go within myself, to truly see what i here, real and to walk and live that, to thus not simply accept and allow the first thought,feeling or emotion to pop up within me to be the only layer of information I look at or though to determine if I am honest with myself or not. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afrain of what is truly here as my self-honesty and what I must truly change and take action on within my daily living to actually live self-honesty as within and so without. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to avoid SHAME through not being truly self-honest with myself. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to AVOID responsibility though deceiving and manipulating self-honesty within and as the mind as ego, where I can "justify" myself within saying I was self-honest, yet I did not put in the true work and actions to truly see what my self-honesty is. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to use the first FEELING or THOUGHT that comes to my mind as a reason for me to act and live points, and to tehn call that self-honesty, when I do not even understand this feeling or thought, where it came from and how, and so I see, realize and understand that I must first investigate the point to get to the source to then forgive it, let it go, and to see what is here as reality that requires me to be here. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed to see, realize and understand that I must always first apply the work, such as writing and self forgiveness within a point that comes up, to get to self-responsibility to then live self-honesty.</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold onto points within me and to act out those points, to live out those points, as I have within myself already justified and reasoned within me why that will be my self-honesty, and so create consequences within myself and my life that is not best for all, including myself.</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BELIEVE that I am free, and living TRUTH when and as I act on my mind, my thoughts, feelings and emotions, as I for a moment can experience relieve or freedom, and so connect that with "I am being honest with myself, because look, I feel better" yet the point will cycle over and over until I have forgiven the points, let them go, and to see truly what is here as who I am. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have NOT been honest with myself and living it, where I can see I must first remove my own brainwashing and mind control, I must purify myself all the way, a far as I can within myself before I can call anything remotely self-honesty, as I then need to also re-create myself within principles that are best for all life and I must re-educate myself and develop myself, so that the old is forgiven and let go, and not controlling or directing who I am, as I can then only make real decisions. <br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-72453221026948006042022-08-30T17:40:00.001+02:002022-08-30T17:40:14.417+02:00LIFE Has Failed Me. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVDqeDDcDoEuRfJN2o-ex6ZmvtCkoIqhGLTXdh5V15RcWQVqTC5EkzPT7QyVDxKAM9fh_4c1rwTx_EaB7mRJL9t5aIF5Kp3E58fmZTwENETbkcfXmXi9JTWt2fsL7HaCVOEagYoKO1ymxkO_T-YKZYG8m8ibOGN2sWNhzto1HnDQNvd5sTywyRYk3w/s1440/217788142_10159238061262350_9174528946610662199_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVDqeDDcDoEuRfJN2o-ex6ZmvtCkoIqhGLTXdh5V15RcWQVqTC5EkzPT7QyVDxKAM9fh_4c1rwTx_EaB7mRJL9t5aIF5Kp3E58fmZTwENETbkcfXmXi9JTWt2fsL7HaCVOEagYoKO1ymxkO_T-YKZYG8m8ibOGN2sWNhzto1HnDQNvd5sTywyRYk3w/w640-h640/217788142_10159238061262350_9174528946610662199_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><br />Have you ever said to yourself "LIFE has failed me" and then feel all defeated and unable to change, like it is the end and it is all LIFE's decision, and now you have to learn a lesson and walk a process/journey, and you just have to take the beatings as they come, because LIFE has failed you, and so LIFE will also help you right? </p><p>This is a misuse and a BIG miss for what is here on earth and how things work. First of all, LIFE has nothing to do with you failing, with your life going to shit, with you losing your income, with you failing and losing in your relationships. all that happenings is not because of LIFE. </p><p>You see, we live in a SYSTEM. a human designed and constructed SYSTEM, this means we are all enslaved to this system, and this system has eradicated LIFE and build itself on top of LIFE sucking the LIFE out of life underneath it, and you are a cog in the wheel, you are a pawn in the system, and you are the things that is used in the system to help suck the life out of life to feed the system, and the moment you are not needed, as the system changes, you are spat out. </p><p>When people are spat out, they blame LIFE and then they blame and shame themselves for failing, NEVER looking at the one thing that is actually causing HARM to all LIFE, which includes YOU, thus your family, your relationships, your mental health, your sanity, your humanity, the system is designed to TRAUMATIZE life into submission so that everyone cowers and fears the system to the point of obeying it till death in hope of the system favouring them. </p><p>For the past few years since covid - we have seen the system squeezing out tens of millions of people out of its design and into more poverty, and we have not seen a real change or understanding coming from most people that it is a system design that fucks with everything, we make our problems seem so "natural" and just the way LIFE works, how things are, and thus we can blame LIFE and look away from the system, as that keeps most people safe who still have a job, and those who do not, well they just have to HOPE they can get back into the grinding machine called the system (NOT LIFE).</p><p>LIFE is HERE, and this is the key, it is the key to stand with LIFE as yourself one and equal, and to start changing this system to a system of LIFE, to root up the machine of self interest and to bring the life that is underneath it suffocating back to light. This will have to happen sooner than later as this system is squeezing harder and harder and many will fall into poverty and onto the streets, people you know or have known, it will come to each ones front door. </p><p>Before it does come to your front door, you have an opportunity (not given by life) but still by the system of LUCK, as this system is a Casino, to do something, and TIME is not for you, as in any casino, the longer your play, you only LOSE, it is a deliberate design against you and your nature as a pre-programmed human in a pre-programmed system, that just like you, serves itself. <br /></p><p>So, first of all one must start with changing your pre-programmed nature to not be grappled and brought down by the gambling against you and your LIFE, but to rather direct yourself within breathing to use the moment of luck you have to walk out of the casino and do something ELSE with that money to build a new and better/different system that support LIFE. (walking out of the casino is metaphorical, as this walking out within this system means within YOU, not physically). </p><p>The point is, people must use their words towards themselves better, for example, saying LIFE has failed me is imprinting and enhancing the delusion that the SYSTEM we live in is LIFE, which it is NOT. and within this when we enhance and imprint that idea more and more, the more we do NOT stand up to the system and actually bring LIFE forwards, we in fact start seeing the system that is here as NATURAL (like Nature) and we believe we are powerless to do anything, and we must just accept our fate, instead of seeing LIFE is HERE to be brought forward as ourselves and within this we CREATE our DESTENI. </p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the system that is here is LIFE and that what ever happens to me within the system is a choice by life and that I deserve anything and everything the system does to me, seeing and realizing within this I make the human designed system for self interest and GREED of the ego, my god, to punish and enslave me as it pleases, and thus nothing will happen to the system and I will not do anything to stand up and NOT accept and allow this system to abuse me or others as LIFE any further. </p><p>Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience FAILURE as myself in and of a system designed to fuck with me/everyone no matter my efforts, and that poverty and starvation is part of this systems deliberate design as a fear tool TO TO ENSLAVE AND CONTROL HUMANITY TO NOT STAND UP, Thus I see and realize that failure in this system is not a failure of me, it is a failure of the system and the design and starting point of this system, and so I forgive myself that I have ever given myself a hard time, shame and guilt and regret for ever failing in this system, despite my efforts (might not count for everyone this one), and thus. <br /><br />I commit myself to stand up, to see this system for what it is, that it is not life, to show others that this system is not life, and that we must stand up as LIFE and in a great effort we must come together and we must bring life forward, to create a new system where deliberate abuse and neglect of LIFE ends, where we can live a life that is best for all life, as I would like to be done onto as I have done, and to create a system that reflect principle living. <br /><br />I commit myself to get up, get out of the blame, judgements and guilts and "system shame" for any and all my failures, to forgive myself, while I am here and can still do something unlike billions of others in complete powerless positions right now in this world, to walk as a group, to get angry and say enough of the abuse, to support and assist others as best as I can to stand with, starting with myself and giving myself, equal and one with what is here in our struggles, hardships and to show, they are noting compared to what will come if we do not do something else while we can, (those who still have money) and that it will take time, and thus we must make a move, even it it starts slowly. <br /><br />I commit myself to stop relying and praising this system as a fear response for self interest and survival for myself, and to start seeing I am feeding an evil that will bite back with pleasure, and thus I must stop feeding it within who I am, and start redirecting myself, my resources, my life to that of LIFE as what is best for all life, as LIFE never failed me, it is the design of an abusive system that fails LIFE. <br /><br />To be continued. <br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-19596849145588966232022-07-10T09:44:00.000+02:002022-07-10T09:44:05.962+02:00Blog 686 - No One Understands Me Character<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2EKIlU7LxpNasunfcWZA0wqjmQrIVQyHQ7TSDmwUyCFXD9s6EpGxfievaE5YUdSs59eib21oJttHoXvmZNu7-StyMYxo1_e8RTLmRzbCIV8a6Fu2nxGsH2FdseSLGkztmI75CyxXDTDECEI-pP76zVIFCX0dbnGOyC-k0rg97ENkDxmPmJr-ni59D/s5184/noah-silliman-gzhyKEo_cbU-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="5184" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2EKIlU7LxpNasunfcWZA0wqjmQrIVQyHQ7TSDmwUyCFXD9s6EpGxfievaE5YUdSs59eib21oJttHoXvmZNu7-StyMYxo1_e8RTLmRzbCIV8a6Fu2nxGsH2FdseSLGkztmI75CyxXDTDECEI-pP76zVIFCX0dbnGOyC-k0rg97ENkDxmPmJr-ni59D/w640-h426/noah-silliman-gzhyKEo_cbU-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /></div><p><br />This is a dimension on the point of "no one understands me" and how this is a reality for all almost 8 billion humans on earth, not to mention the animals and plants on this planet. <br /><br />I have walked my whole life being not understood by others, by the things I have said, done, or how I have acted and behaved, as I always wanted people to see me, that I am a good person, that my intentions was meant to be good and who I am is good. So, I would end in many arguments, as a child and a teenager with people in a "bad" way, as I felt throughout all the conversations and interactions that no one understood me, get me. <br /><br />I have seen through so many others in their relationships and marriages how this same point play out, no one feels understood, truly understood, which is what people desire, as they want to be able to be seen and not live as an idea or opinion or some image in someone else's head, they want to be real and to be felt and to be honoured as the real person they believe or know they are within themselves, YET, this never happens and will never happen, it is a fairy tale, not within reality. <br /><br />Imagine this if you will, for a moment use your imagination for a practical point, you are in essence asking 8 billion humans to understand you as you do, to never have to face any resistance, conflict or any form of arguments or feedback, which is impossible. Now, when we take it back to a smaller scale, we might have a partner and we desire and want them to understand us as we do ourselves, and they will want to same back, so you will basically spend about your whole life getting to truly understand and feel each other as you each would like to be understood by one another. Thus, your whole life will be spent trying to get the other person or people to understand you, or you will spend your whole life to find someone that "gets you" understands you. <br /><br />You can see why most marriages fail in this world, why more relationships end up sour, why most people on earth can not live or work together, because no one is understanding one another, everyone is fighting to be understood, and no one is winning. </p><p>This is because everyone is trying to be understood as characters/personalities to be validated, and it will never happen, some people claim this, that they have broken the code to understand their partner, yet, you have to be careful here. Let me explain. <br /><br />If you claim to be understood by someone and that they just get you, they know you, they understand you, does that not mean and proof and show that you are just a program that can be read? and are they and you then yourself not enslaving yourself and each other to this "under/standing" of who you apparently are? it does not leave much space for self-change then, does it? <br /><br />I have fought for years to be understood, and all I found was that I was enslaving myself first and foremost to the IDEA of it, to be understood by someone and to then feel that nice connection with them. After the idea, when I got it, I had someone that got me, understood me, it did not mean anything in the end, because I had to still change and thus the understanding of me had to change, which made it much harder to change, and vice versa. <br /><br />So, what is the solution? <br /><br />Living within principles - when we live within principle, the principle of what is best for all, the first and foremost important thing is to take care of yourself, take self responsibility for your self, if you feel mis-understood in a moment, take a moment to breath, take a moment to find out how you can communicate better, learn new words, expand your vocabulary to be more effective in bringing your points across, Yet, this can not be done for someone to understand YOU, it is to understand the POINT you are talking about. Since you are living in principle, it is not about YOU, it is about the POINT. <br /><br />Then it is to make sure you take care of you in understanding yourself, this is YOUR process, and from learning about your programming, you take the steps to realize this YOU that you want everyone to understand is NOT you, it is a learned and programmed you, thus the YOU you are trying to understand is actually you trying to understand the programming that is ruining (sorry, I mean running) your life, and that you need to remove this programming with using the tools of writing and self forgiveness and adding in new LIVING words and commitment statement to live as YOU creating you, thus totally understanding yourself and living yourself. <br /><br />I have spend a good amount of time walking this point within me, writing, self forgiveness and going through a lot of past trauma and friction and conflicts I created within this point, and how I then created a character within myself that is a base design of victimization, where the character walks around sobbing that no one understand me, creating anger and rage. <br /><br />This is unacceptable. <br /><br />I have learned, whenever I feel someone isn't understanding me, I am first of all using that person to blame for not seeing my programming that I myself am not seeing, and that I was trying and attempting to use them to show me my programming, and thus placing a responsibility on them that is mine and they can never help me with it, that I have to take on what I am trying to understand through another for and as myself, and that to then understand that programming of me, means I have to delete it and create myself to stop seeking to be understood. <br /><br />By doing this, I will not and do not have fear of expressing myself, as I have no hidden programming that needs "understanding" before the points I am sharing and expressing makes sense, as they will be based in principle and thus my creation as self expression within what is best for all as me, best for me and another in effective communication of points, not of me and my characters and personalities that seeks validation. <br /><br />No one should ever understand YOU, You should know thy self and from there live and express points within principle as who you are. <br /><br /><br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-42900795440783569362022-06-26T13:57:00.003+02:002022-06-26T13:57:42.810+02:00Day 685 - Self Honesty <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEnv3SO_TXCWwVu0tETvQ3-sXJViTL9v5qIkp6upXF0AzVUnl9-MtsVhOCeaDpevAaB58XQWHm444OP0LCoJrut2UaG8ULYBwf59iix6otBM_vNwICdW1inlDDh7XqjcArYC0gvkUl-Gyco8CgjwFLVgmUE3D4U01nQ_lhcSzaL3EckDV_TaE07E3I/s5616/greg-rakozy-oMpAz-DN-9I-unsplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3744" data-original-width="5616" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEnv3SO_TXCWwVu0tETvQ3-sXJViTL9v5qIkp6upXF0AzVUnl9-MtsVhOCeaDpevAaB58XQWHm444OP0LCoJrut2UaG8ULYBwf59iix6otBM_vNwICdW1inlDDh7XqjcArYC0gvkUl-Gyco8CgjwFLVgmUE3D4U01nQ_lhcSzaL3EckDV_TaE07E3I/w640-h426/greg-rakozy-oMpAz-DN-9I-unsplash.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /></div><p>The first time I was made aware of the concept of self-honesty (as it was still only a concept for me back then) was way back in 2007 through Bernard Poolman and the Desteni Process and message. This concept of self-honesty seemed so simple, be honest with yourself. <br /><br />It turned out to not be as simple as I would have expected, I had a few points within me where I deceived myself with what self-honesty means, first was how I have defined the words self and honesty, and secondly, who is this self that is being honest? <br /><br />So, as I started walking my journey to life process, I had to dig into this self, who am I, and I had to really face myself in many ways, in all thoughts, words and deeds, as who I was as a MIND consciousness system, as I as the living being was practically not here. My daily living was MENTAL, I would live and follow and believe every thought, every emotion, every reaction that came up within me, I would believe ideas and images of myself and try and live those ideas and images. </p><p>So how could I have been self-honest in any way if I as the self in self-honesty was a MENTAL living being that follows thoughts, ideas, opinions and believes that are of the nature of the mind as ENERGY, always following energy - also known as the EGO, E = energy, and GOing there (E-GO). <br /><br />This meant I had to apply certain very specific tools to STOP this EGO of a mental nature that I have accepted and allowed of myself since birth, I had to as THE MIND delete my mind one memory, one experience at a time, purifying myself. <br /><br />The tools are that of writing, of writing self-forgiveness, and in general as I live daily, when I can, speak self forgiveness in times of a MENTAL state, such as when I was in thoughts, reactions, in an emotional or feeling energetic experience to release myself from that to be here. <br /><br />The biggest parts that supported in this journey was purifying and understanding the WORDS I was living and how I was using the words in my mind, as my thinKING, as that then translated into my living, this also meant I had to re-educate myself, I had to take the time to learn something completely new, and this was the message of Desteni through the Portal, and in general all the research and sharing of other individuals and their processes. <br /><br />The process of living self-honesty is a process of self-realization, and this does not mean we sit and think and see a different dimension of a point within us and go OH, there is self-honesty (that is still part of the process) but, NO, that is still just knowledge and information as a seeing within ones mind, there has to be a self-realization, this means it is integrated as self and self is living it, thus the journey and process of living self-honesty must be through ACTION and applying the tools, applying the self-honesty instantly as a self-realization, I have realized this, as the only parts of me that I actually changed, as who I am has been through self realization and when I speak as that living of the self-realization, I am living self-honesty. <br /><br />Yet, the process in self-honesty is different for everyone on many levels within themselves and their lives as their position and location, YET, not so different, as we are all the same in many ways, and we do not have to "go on our own" to walk our process as self-honesty, that is part of the dishonesty within self, as within self honesty and realization, you realize there is no on your own, it is an illusion for self to abuse and be in ones mind without revealing your secrets to others and facing yourself with accountability - this reality is ONE, we must walk as equals to get this world to a place that is best for all. this brings in the next point. <br /><br />I have in the past lost and to a degree forgotten quit a few times as I was occupied and obsessed with my own process about a very important part of walking this process, that I must walk it within PRINCIPLE, and this is a key to this process, without principle we are deceiving, we are self-dishonest, what is anything in this world if it does not have principles? <br /><br />So what is the Principles I live by, or lets rather ask, what is the ONLY principles worth living by in this existence, and I would say, Desteni clarified that, and the main Principle is Always live what is best for all LIFE, and this in self-honesty should push one to not just live your life and think I am doing what is best for all life, not while all life is suffering, then your life and living it alone within just your process is dishonest, especially if you are a very capable intelligent human being within money and resources. <br /><br />Sure, if your life and situation is going through a difficult time, focus on stabilizing yourself and your reality, yet do not get stuck in that position and location once it is sorted, move forward, move within PRINCIPLE and let it guide you within self-honesty. I know when I am lying to myself and telling myself, this is all I can do, this is where I am now settling down, if anyone can settle down this life with what is HERE as all life on this earth currently, that is self-dishonesty. <br /><br />You can walk your own inner process and you can at the same time do something about this world, in fact it can compliment eachohter as each one will face themselves even more, the reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions of having to work with other human beings as mirrors of self, and this is a great opportunity, as long s we avoid GROUP effort to to do anything within this world practically and with common sense and basic math, then we are avoiding ourselves. <br /><br />We avoid having to do anything with other people as we fear our own back chat and secret minds and thoughts towards others and thus our own reaction, thus we have already failed in doing anything as we KNOW ourselves to not be walking our processes effectively in self forgiveness to stop our minds and back chat to actually effectively come together this one life time to sit down, talk and come to a GROUP movement as what is best for all life as the guiding principle and thus how to change things within this system as how it is now, to let go of our IDEAS of what is right or wrong and to really be a BEAST to take on the system as ourselves. <br /><br />Just like how I had to as the MIND start my process, as my mind forgiving my mind, We will have to as a SYSTEM within this SYSTEM take on this system and change this system, NO one can start from a pure and correct way, it is dishonest if you think so and live in an alternate reality, you will have to be evil at first to take on the evil and you will need your process and peers to support each other all the way. writing publicly is a great way of checking yourself and being checked, and specifically writing in self forgiveness. <br /><br />The world is full of enough OPINION pieces - we who can read this and understand this, must take our positions and locations and apply what we know, living it, giving it, as the time for this is NOW. repetition is Key, Discipline is not what you desire, it is what is needed to be done and you Breathe and do it. <br /><br /><br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-38680561369864577032022-04-27T20:18:00.004+02:002022-04-27T20:18:28.343+02:00Day 684 - What Do You WANT? For Real.<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJAbzoIUBafJaayC-XheHgJyetOphUOBZizD8jmEiqHYp8t_wb1D_2R8qbaVwe1If6nSow5ak8jjwDPnOoXcOkH74gAwABLaIew4RrBf8IxRHoDeaXFuf9iFn7iUZLUnHAVQeByhRXyTypvxgzClsJJx6KlshgDDZ3Bkc3IvFjkDX6HPyCr-ZE2r_h/s1910/want.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1910" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJAbzoIUBafJaayC-XheHgJyetOphUOBZizD8jmEiqHYp8t_wb1D_2R8qbaVwe1If6nSow5ak8jjwDPnOoXcOkH74gAwABLaIew4RrBf8IxRHoDeaXFuf9iFn7iUZLUnHAVQeByhRXyTypvxgzClsJJx6KlshgDDZ3Bkc3IvFjkDX6HPyCr-ZE2r_h/w640-h336/want.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div><div class="" dir="auto"><div class="ecm0bbzt hv4rvrfc dati1w0a e5nlhep0" data-ad-comet-preview="message" data-ad-preview="message" id="jsc_c_7w"><div class="j83agx80 cbu4d94t ew0dbk1b irj2b8pg"><div class="qzhwtbm6 knvmm38d"><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v b1v8xokw oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">I have found, I am unable to change anything about myself that I see isn't benefiting me as the best potential I can be that in turn should be also the best benefit for all life, if I first do not WANT to, even if we can see why we need to change, that will mean nothing if we do not WANT to. I have found myself that whenever I am stuck in a point, or looping in a point, asking myself, why can I not change this, why is this so hard, what is it I am not understanding? I am actually only entertaining myself with questions and seeking more experiences to "understand" (when I have already had enough experiences and moments, so they are not pointless, but enough already) I am missing the one point even if I believe I do not get it yet, that I must want to change, and so this want is WILL power, and we then change regardless of knowing or understanding everything because to change you are walking into the NEW, you can not understand that yet, you have to walk it, and this is liberating, it is a moment by moment walking within principle, within what is best for all and thus yourself. it is a day by day living, walking, and breathing the WANT and WILL to change, with this the past, the habits, the time loops, the same things that have kept you in a place of not developing, can not grasp you any more, it can not latch onto you any more, because the want for change is stronger, so your actions, moments are all wanted, not an I have to attitude, or I must, it is YOUR desire as a want to change. <br /><br /></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">So ask yourself daily, if what you are living is what is best for yourself and thus best for all - is it a WANT yet. if not, find more understanding, educate yourself more. SEE why you do not yet want to live what is best for yourself and thus all, see where your actual wants are still distracting you and see what that actual wants has created thus far for you that does not benefit you, and get tired of it, be tired of yourself wanting destructive things, and see the benefits of wanting what is best for you as your best potential to bring about a version of you that will create the best version within this world for all.<br /><br /></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Extra: <br /><br /></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Ask yourself this to check, as basics. </div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Why do I want to be lazy? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Why do I want to Drink?? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to smoke weed? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to postpone? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to neglect?</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to not care for myself?</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I not want to push through resistances?</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to stay the same every day? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to not sort out my relationships?</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I not want to be the best version I know I can be? </div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">why do I want to not look inward and deal with myself? <br /><br /></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">these are questions to start with, once you realize everything you accept and allow daily is a want, you remove manipulation and victimization and thus blame, and you take full self-responsibility, that is where you are actually in power, no matter what. and then start changing your wants, will it, to be best for you and all life.</div></div></span></div></div></div></div></div>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-5407081147767257632021-07-24T18:39:00.002+02:002021-07-24T18:39:52.559+02:00Falling in Reverse - Insights and Perspectives <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L3QB4VnUOUA" width="320" youtube-src-id="L3QB4VnUOUA"></iframe></div><br />A song to go with this post from the band called, falling in reverse <br /><br />Pointers on falling in process <br /><br />Your falling within yourself/process does not happen from within only, outside factors within this entire existence can and will trigger your falling. <br /><br />If you fall, you know it already existed within you.<br /><br />Falling can be in the smallest points all the way to the biggest.<br /><br />Your falling does not only effect you, yet it is your self responsibility.<br /><br />When falling, fall in reverse to change, not to blame and victimize. Forgive, change<br /><br />Falling in your process isn't just an inside job, it effects reality, people.<br /><br />Falling can happen in a single moment to being something that is happening very slowly over time. <br /><br />When we fall, we will not be able to think straight, it is the point of falling, it brings out what already exist within oneself, thus the falling is to bring it all out. Try and focus as much as you can on simply breathing, slowing down, till you can write. <br /><br />Falling isn't meant to be nice, it isn't meant to look, feel, or be nice, it is falling, there will be pain, hurt, shame, regrets, spite, and all the evil of self that will come out, you might not even be fully aware of what it all is till it comes up, breathe. <br /><br />Falling will also bring out the falling points of others, thus compounding the point one is falling within to really bring the points out so one can face self, so remember to not make it about others, even when others are also falling because of your falling and it is effecting each other, all will be exposed in the Who am I point, we are all interconnected and equally responsible, thus to change is to not focus on eachothers falling, it is to focus on self to stand and the other doing the same. <br /><br />Falling also exposes our strong points, points we have stood within and corrected already. <br /><br />Falling is to shred all that can be shredded away so that only what is real remains, so that self can stand up and walk with what is real and not the illusion/delusions of self and reality. <p></p>Those that stand and show themselves within this process, walking openly, will fall the hardest and receive the most backlash, those who do not will fall in secret and much less pressure will be on them for falling. Thus recognise your position and location and do not take it personal when falling and how others respond, it is about you, you standing up, with a new you here, one that is even stronger, more standing, clearer. <br /><p>To the extent that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within the mind will be the extent of the fall. thus always showing the importance of writing/self-forgivness, so that when we do fall, we do not fall into the mind only and lose ourselves and become possessed. which can lead to self harm and harming others. <br /><br /> What I like about falling within myself, my process is, it shows me everything of me. I obviously do not like it while it happens, as it is falling. Bernard said, if you fall, know it already exited within you. <br /><br />I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge falling.<br /><br />Falling will happen to everyone, and it will happen for most in the most unusual ways so do not judge, compare, or try and hide and run away from the one falling, that is self also falling, ways we did not and could not expect. This is how falling is real, just like walking and tripping over something and then we are shown how we were/are not here in the first place, or some parts of ourselves that we still missed, or that we simply blatantly walked in ignorance/justifications, and that tripping and falling now through pain, through reality being shown to you gives you a moment to correct yourself, to stand up and change. To also stop any and all fear. <br /></p><p>Yet, if we keep on tripping and falling, at some point it becomes greater, the tripping and falling scenario becomes bigger, especially if we walk our daily lives in awareness of points within ourselves and our reality that needs to change and yet we do not, it all accumulates to a FALL/FALLING, because we must wake up, or if we are awake, we must change and stop postponing. <br /><br />Falling also becomes greater if one is standing as a certain point within their reality and that point of responsibility isn't lived fully, as it must come back to self, as within so without, to give the equal consequence for one to see and learn and preferably stand up and not give up. To start living what one sees, to not fear, to not hold back, to shed the voices of self as others from ones mind, to let go of the constructs we place within ourselves of what is right and what is wrong, who is more and who is less, all these things in our selves must end to truly stand and express fearlessly. <br /><br />If we do not, we will only live in fear, falling will heighten what exist within self, and we will have two choices, crawl into a corner of the mind, fall and give up, get possessed and become a mind demon, or stand up and shed it all, self forgive all the nasty shit we have accepted and allowed that has only caused harm to ourselves and others, forgive and walk forward self-responsible, learn from the fall, fall in reverse. <br /><br />Let your falling become your standing. do not be afraid to fall, do not feel that there is humiliation in falling, it only makes the falling wore, do not care about what others think about your falling, it will only make the falling less effective and be a response to change for others, not self, thus also exposing self is in a consistent state of victimization and blame when our change is tied to others, we are holding them responsible (or prisoner) when we are the only ones. <br /><br />Falling and standing can happen in seconds, a whole day, a month, a year, do not rush the standing, fall, stand up and walk out of the falling to see all the points, to know they self, forgive self, change. <br /><br /><br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-57208147223442949712021-06-02T17:35:00.000+02:002021-06-02T17:35:12.264+02:00Reactions - Back to Basics <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHn-hSDS_OsozuYJmDAOYZ-rpqUeZsEb5snR6vPeKcjtJ2BEtkmEsimia3KWAKh1Wf9NeEA77mMbXSJTgPKCgWHtHmNY0LbCU1Sm3cJa5J5-fsHo9R2RMLM7Kr_H8yViEGMJTGM2dP3vE/s1920/fire-2086370_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1241" data-original-width="1920" height="414" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHn-hSDS_OsozuYJmDAOYZ-rpqUeZsEb5snR6vPeKcjtJ2BEtkmEsimia3KWAKh1Wf9NeEA77mMbXSJTgPKCgWHtHmNY0LbCU1Sm3cJa5J5-fsHo9R2RMLM7Kr_H8yViEGMJTGM2dP3vE/w640-h414/fire-2086370_1920.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak with emotion.
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
remain emotional by holding onto a reaction that came up within me, and to then
re enact that emotion as valid, thus validating the emotional experience and
acting on it, keep it alive and to have influence over me. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that it is okay to stop, to take a breath when there is a
reaction within me, to see it and to let it go, to clear myself, and that I do
not have to act, re-enact that experience, creating more consequences within
myself and my reality. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
when and as I am reacting very strongly, and have a lot of back chat and
thoughts coming up within me, to go into the believe that this is here to show
me I must act and do something with that emotion to get it out, to release it,
instead of seeing and realizing that what I must do with the emotional reaction
is clear the story behind it, clear that which is keeping the emotional point
within me as valuable and thus giving it space within me, through writing,
through breathing, through forgiving myself.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
train myself to respond with reactions on impulse, as I believe it makes me
“strong”, that it makes me open and not holding anything back, when in fact the
act of me acting on it is limiting me to only my point of view that I have
formed within me through my back chat over time, and thus keeping me in the past
and holding me there. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
keep telling myself that my emotional reactive body is too much to change, too
much to take self-responsibility for, and that I am a victim of my emotional
body and thus anyone bringing any reaction up within me through their
words/actions are to blame. Seeing and realize that this way I am always
perpetuating my emotional body and crowing it more and more as I have already
decided to give up. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT yet accepted and allowed
myself to develop through discipline and breathing to first remain silent and
to first with any reaction to come up within me, FIRST clear any and all points
that is emotional within it, to the point where my point of view changes,
before I speak or say anything. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
when and as I have an emotional reaction, to point it at the person or people
or situation that brought it up within me as the ones to blame. And so within
this play the victim card, the blame card to not have to change, to not have to
actually stop. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that each time I participate in a emotional reaction by
speaking it, or playing it out, I am in fact diminishing myself as I am giving
myself away to the emotions, back chat and the reaction as truth. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself
to really take the time to stop, to take every breath and moment to focus on myself,
and to instead of doing that, focus on all the thoughts, the thinking, the back
chat that follows with the emotional reaction (trigger) and look at ot all to
conjure up my own stories to justify my own reactions, seeing and realizing
this is my own prison I am creating and sentencing myself to it. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
hold others hostage for my emotional reactions and to live them out, by not
taking full self-responsibility before I say a word or take an action and to
make sure I am clear, and nothing is moving within me. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to SEE and realize fully, to the extent of all of myself in every moment, that
I create my won regrets through keeping myself in a emotional cycle
consequences through acting and speaking when I am in an emotional reaction. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT first made peace with
myself and acknowledged to myself that I am a very emotional person, and to not
make myself a victim to that, but to be able to know myself and walk with
knowing myself to always be aware of what I must do and live FIRST before
speaking or doing anything, to stop creating regret, and to move forward. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
justify and deceive myself within why my emotional reaction are valid, and thus
use my emotional reactions to justify and manipulate others in return, as I can
only live what I do and who I am towards others. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe
that if I do not respond NOW to someone or something that brought a reaction up
within me, that I will lose, that I will miss out, that I will be weak for not
responding NOW and be taken advantage of, NOT seeing and realizing that within
that reasoning I am losing and being taken advantage of and missing out, by
myself towards myself, as all I know in that moment is my<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>emotional reaction and not me. Thus I see and
realize I must breathe through the reactions and the urgency I feel within me
to do something with them, and to stop and remove the reactions first, by doing
self-writing, breathing and slowing down till I am clear. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
hold onto the idea that I must contain myself when and as I have an emotional
reaction, seeing and realizing that this is me missing the point and only
bottling myself up, Seeing and realizing that I must taka full inner action to
understand the reaction, to stop the emotions and to change so that the emotional
reactions I have stop and do not keep coming, and even if they do, then I know
them and can simply breathe and stop, thus not bottling things up harming
myself and others. <br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR slowing down
and stopping myself when and as there is an emotional reaction within me, to
fear that I will miss a point, not be able to make my point, give my input and
then let others make decisions without me involved, and that this will cause me
to lose, to be last and so I am left alone as a no one, THUS I see and realize
that I must go there, I must stop, I must breathe to actually correct myself
and change myself for myself and to stop making it about others. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that when and as I act on my emotional reactions that I am
not even able to consider asking for support, help, guidance, as I simply act
and then it is too late. Seeing and realizing that there are many ways to guide
myself within a point once I take first self-responsibility, slowing down and
breathing, to have clarity within myself on how to best direct myself where I
stop creating regret and living in the past. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> I commit myself to when and as I there is any energetic movement within me, to recognise it as a reaction, to then stop, breath and slow down, to take responsibility for me and only me till the reaction is settled, to then take a new direction forward as the cal me, the me that I can trust and honour and respect. <br /><br />I commit myself to slow down, to find my words within me to express myself, to expand my vocabulary to be able to express myself, instead of relying on emotional reactions to guide me in my inner world, and to get to really understand myself and the nature of myself that needs to stop and change. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-20671643025228163372020-10-18T22:59:00.004+02:002020-10-18T23:02:27.844+02:00Forcefulness and Fear<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyGYKrUjiLHQuVuhOXiVc97FZPB7Nc4ZZSb4IUD1oT0ZGcNAaqFVunCovut0WJEvOV3im93MV1ZWkK1bjAe0Hxpw5sl66-LsDFAzQ60OxkDXd7hFOQA47rlfWWBtV33JQw0QrbVYWOamg/s1600/viber_image_2020-10-18_13-05-41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyGYKrUjiLHQuVuhOXiVc97FZPB7Nc4ZZSb4IUD1oT0ZGcNAaqFVunCovut0WJEvOV3im93MV1ZWkK1bjAe0Hxpw5sl66-LsDFAzQ60OxkDXd7hFOQA47rlfWWBtV33JQw0QrbVYWOamg/w360-h640/viber_image_2020-10-18_13-05-41.jpg" width="360" /></a></div><br /><div data-contents="true"><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="77i8e-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="77i8e-0-0"><span data-offset-key="77i8e-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="bdrnp-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bdrnp-0-0"><span data-offset-key="bdrnp-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="40c37-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="40c37-0-0"><span data-offset-key="40c37-0-0"><span data-text="true">As I am staying and moving in with Kelly and Adrian on their land here in Panama, which is surrounded by rivers and forests all around. I have been going into the wild for a few hours a day, something I have never been able to do. Even living on the Desteni Farm in South-Africa, there wasn’t really WILD nature around. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="eibpe-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="eibpe-0-0"><span data-offset-key="eibpe-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="eucqc-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="eucqc-0-0"><span data-offset-key="eucqc-0-0"><span data-text="true">With this, I have been able to go to the woods/rivers and just BE HERE, breathing. Yet, I know as this is a new environment I have to be aware of the wildlife I am unfamiliar with, as most frogs and snakes here are poisonous and who knows what else. I am still learning. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="b5h4j-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b5h4j-0-0"><span data-offset-key="b5h4j-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="c4ang-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="c4ang-0-0"><span data-offset-key="c4ang-0-0"><span data-text="true">This combination of me placing the direction and commitment for myself on what I am living in the wild with the wild being here I am accessing a very interesting part of myself, a part that has become automatic in the sense of survival/fear responses. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="dtoav-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dtoav-0-0"><span data-offset-key="dtoav-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="530iu-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="530iu-0-0"><span data-offset-key="530iu-0-0"><span data-text="true">I know in South-Africa with the high crime/rape/murder there I had this point as an obvious point within me, but now that it is not with me any more, I feel I am reaching deeper roots of this point within me, I was looking at it while being by the river and I kind of named it for myself as the ancient fear - where humans generally could not just live with nature, unlike wild animals, we had to make shelter and weapons and all kinds of things that lead to where we are now, we have always felt inferior to nature and thus FORCED our way onto and through this earth by ravaging nature, destroying it just to feel secure and safe from the wild animals, and thus came full circle to humans now fearing themselves the most and what we do to ourselves, as nature is kind of out of the way right. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="2k4ru-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2k4ru-0-0"><span data-offset-key="2k4ru-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="f6fu-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="f6fu-0-0"><span data-offset-key="f6fu-0-0"><span data-text="true">My experience in particular was strange, catching the ever so slight thoughts of destruction within me while being in this beautiful, peaceful environment coming up in a seemingly random moment. I was sitting on a rock in the middle of the river, the rock was smooth and big, so I wanted to lay on it, but there was this one piece of grass that somehow against all odds grew on this rock in a crack, and I caught myself with a thought of ripping it out and throwing it away into the water, as only then I would find this rock perfect and clean/safe, forcing my way onto the environment. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="1g107-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1g107-0-0"><span data-offset-key="1g107-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="2092i-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2092i-0-0"><span data-offset-key="2092i-0-0"><span data-text="true">I stopped myself, I breathed and I asked for forgiveness for this piece of grass, and instead I saw myself in the grass growing there on this rock. I said to the grass, look at you, you grew here, look at me, I am also here but I only want to diminish you and myself. I then embraced myself as that piece of grass and sat with it on the rock, right next to it. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="bi6ts-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bi6ts-0-0"><span data-offset-key="bi6ts-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="9jj7v-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9jj7v-0-0"><span data-offset-key="9jj7v-0-0"><span data-text="true">As I stood up from the rock, not having lived out this forcefulness towards this piece of grass sharing this rock with me as I was the visitor there, I noticed this more and more, I found myself with a stick in my hand and two rocks in my pocket, I saw then how my behaviour of having the stick and two rocks was to HARM, thus force my way onto nature, as the reason I had the stick and two rocks was for my protection right? In case there is a snake or a wild animal lurking in the forest surrounding me. Now, yes it can be practical in case there is a snake I can use the stick to move it, or the rocks to chase an animal off. BUT this post is not focussed on the practical side of this, it is to see what MOVED within me, as the starting point matters as that will determine my action in an unexpected moment. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="6sr30-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6sr30-0-0"><span data-offset-key="6sr30-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="8k9d3-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8k9d3-0-0"><span data-offset-key="8k9d3-0-0"><span data-text="true">I then took the two rocks out of my pocket and I put them down, I then took the stick and placed it down. I then had a moment of wondering/looking at the point for myself. Here I am in nature, it is SOO calm and peaceful, it is amazing, the sounds and the feeling of the place as the wind, fresh air, all is good, and I found myself being the ONLY threat there which was scary to see me in that moment, a complete system of fear and paranoia manifested as a justification of self-survival/defence, yet whit just me being who i am in the first, I am the only one there placing everything else in defensive mode, as they all need to now protect themselves from me, THUS my very starting point in who I am in the forest is thus making everything else dangerous. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="detr8-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="detr8-0-0"><span data-offset-key="detr8-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="agt46-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="agt46-0-0"><span data-offset-key="agt46-0-0"><span data-text="true">I got up after putting my weapons down, I stood still for a moment taking in the fresh air and I said to myself, OK Gian, now, stop the mind, and be HERE in breathe moving one step at a time, do not consistently look around, following every small sound, or going into my mind of what is something jumps out of the bushes, and I started moving forward further down the river and the trees, I then started feeling my body relax, I then started feeling in tune so to say with my environment, I then started feeling actually aware of my environment without having to use my eyes and ears the whole time. I had to embrace a TRUST within me and so start resonating that trust into my environment as who I am.</span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="bkbv5-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bkbv5-0-0"><span data-offset-key="bkbv5-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="3b7mm-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3b7mm-0-0"><span data-offset-key="3b7mm-0-0"><span data-text="true">This was a test for me on a personal level, and I would not recommend everyone doing it considering now the practical side of things and your environment, yet the point stands to always check WHO AM I and to look to the small things we stop that is forceful, catching those thoughts that rush through our head and places us into survival and fear/paranoia that leads to us becoming exactly what we fear and miss out on a whole different level of existence for ourselves and others that is possible. </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="2hbo5-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2hbo5-0-0"><span data-offset-key="2hbo5-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="4hjjh-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4hjjh-0-0"><span data-offset-key="4hjjh-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="35oh2-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="35oh2-0-0"><span data-offset-key="35oh2-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="69t60" data-offset-key="fbsip-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fbsip-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fbsip-0-0"><span data-text="true">I went much further, as I saw this point in a simple point such as going on a relaxed walk into the forest, I took the signature and I pulled it all the way into my life, my relationships and movement in my reality, my creation points, seeing where am I in this forcefulness, realizing it is not working, it is to be HERE, breathe and move myself as myself as expression from me, not something outside of me. </span></span></div></div></div>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-88702287984925103492020-09-07T02:39:00.004+02:002020-09-07T03:06:11.545+02:00What Happens JUST As You Are About To Transcend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizcnT-5cqGrNuqP_sDgaqePXM7o61DM5YyYoeJgBgC0vCD7bnVCEHajefNOHn81EZDvj6gr70FfKwy5V14G-RSlvEyPBqDBWd8AFviZcSCvXZ_4nbzht8jDz3sMcqZ6Nduba4aJLhUG4/s1600/viber_image_2020-09-06_19-37-50.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgizcnT-5cqGrNuqP_sDgaqePXM7o61DM5YyYoeJgBgC0vCD7bnVCEHajefNOHn81EZDvj6gr70FfKwy5V14G-RSlvEyPBqDBWd8AFviZcSCvXZ_4nbzht8jDz3sMcqZ6Nduba4aJLhUG4/w400-h400/viber_image_2020-09-06_19-37-50.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p><br />This is an awkward little blog of mine, on a point I do not share to much of, transcending, what a BIG word. What does this word mean even? the context of this word is not within words, it is within the living of self as words, as the living word. </p><p>What the fuck does that mean? If the answer was complicated I might have been able to explain it to you in detail, unfortunately the answer is simple and so it can not be explained to you. See, simplicity complicates the MIND only, because the mind seeks complications and functions on things being complicated, it keeps the mind stimulated with complaining all the time. The answer should be within this paragraph to what the path and key is to transcend, but again, the mind will want to LOOK and FIND a key to this, even when the word itself is not understood, yet even if you seek to understand the word you will only find knowledge, and so already it is complicated. </p><p>Here is the thing, just before you are about to Transcend, thus living change in every breathe, you quickly go and fuck around, just one last time, just this one more time around, just before transcending the mind and expressing self as life/living here in each breathe as all life, you must quickly have that last drink, that last smoke, that last drug hit, that last party, that last taste of porn and masturbation, that last argument, that last conversation that is pointless, that last reaction, that last say, that last opinion, that last moment of entertaining the mind essentially, and then you are way back at the bottom, because YOU saw, damn, transcending myself as life is actually simple, it is HERE as me, in my grasp, so why do it now? </p><p>Why be silent now when I know it is HERE, why give up my addictions, my habits, my self believes, my self definitions, why give up the MIND now, when I can see it is so easy, I am right at the door of doing this, I might as well come back later, I mean, why not? it is right here, not going anywhere right??. </p><p>Before I transcend, before I stand as myself as life here in every breathe, I MUST get the last fix, the last experience, but as usual, I know it just keeps on going on, to such an extent that I even later on forget that there is a door right here to transcend me as life, I get lost in the habits, the addictions, the routines, the dullness of my mind participation in self entertainment/stimulation, no matter what form that self entertainment is, may it be political, environmental, or just plain myself and my life, my relationships, my shit essentially. </p><p>I once explained to someone, we are all born the same, we are of the essence of life, we are the same in the substance as life, we always have access to this life that is HERE, we do not lose it, we simply keep pulling curtains over it, as we know it is right there/here, It is actually so easy to be silent, to stop, to be with self and to be here, dropping everything within self, yet the mind as stated before, loves complications, and as much as you would like a complicated answer and method to transcend life, it does not exist, it only exist in the mind, that is what is complicated. The same way the system we live in reflects how we live within, it has complicated systems that creates complicated problems so that the people/self that wants control have enough complications to hide behind, what do you hide? Your own corruption and the things you get away with, the shit you want to get away with, just like how people in power and normal tax payers get away with shit, by using and implementing a complicated system, if it was simple, then well you are fucked and can not hide shit. simple as that. Oh yes, I am over simplifying everything in this post, a great argument for not changing and seeing directly what is here and requires change as SELF and so as the system. </p><p>Where is the blog post going? at this point it is getting complicated, because that way the value seems more, just like how we like to over complicate everything in this world to give it value, losing the inherent value everything has as LIFE substance, within which we are all equal regardless of anything else. Stock markets? how money works? look it is made so complicated, and only if you LEARN to understand it do you have value and get equal value back, apparently, but that's also just a scam like this system over all, so if you can not deceive and manipulate and learn to fuck others over, you do not have value as a human, just look at how simple you are, just a gardener or a sewage cleaner, or waste remover, your value is nothing right? <br /><br />Simplicity is seeing that health is not in the hospitals you have and the amount of doctors you have that specializes in everything, it is to see a healthy EARTH and thus food, water and air prevents all of that from being necessary to a HIGH degree, and obviously ALL life to have equal access to the resources instead of fighting, killing and murdering each other for it = SHARE and CARE, and taking care of the earth is pretty simple, as it works naturally with itself and everything on it, unlike us humans. We have already over complicated EVERYTHING, just like we do with our very selves, our relationships, everything personal and in the greater picture. <br /><br />Back to the point, take a look, you most probably have had that moment or moments in your life, where you are, not experiencing BLISS, that is a fuckup too, but you are experiencing YOURSELF as all life, here directive as self in each moment/breath, where you SEE yourself change, where you SEE the best version of YOU in who you are in a moment within what is here as life is here currently to bring about a best version of life as you do for YOURSELF considering all life, then you fuck it up in a few minutes, right after that, like because you could see it, it is too good to be true, it can not be that simple, yet you KNOW, so you turn away, you move away, you go back to the old habits, and sometimes even diminish yourself even more, put yourself back in "your place" even more, you do not deserve to change and be your best version as you keep lying to yourself and selling yourself false images and likenesses, and so we can always wonder why the world and the earth is not achieving it's best version, we keep screaming, we keep yelling, we keep wondering, why is everything getting worse, we can sell ourselves the tickets that this ride is getting worse to getting better, but ask yourself, when you see the BEST version of you in a here moment, the breathe moment, do you BREATHE and stand up and walk as that version and do not accept anything less than that? <br /><br />Regardless of what is required of you to walk through, to changing in your LIVING as your habits and patterns, you do it because YOU believe in your self as the best version of yourself? most likely not, a simple emotion that makes you feel bad, a thought, anything turns you back to the old asap, so why would the world be any different? the governments, the politicians? the system we live in? no one wants to transcend, even it it is RIGHT in our faces and we have seen it, the possibility in ourselves and so this world. <br /><br />Do you live your best version? transcending YOU. <br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-46701648087125441162020-08-31T20:29:00.004+02:002022-07-09T19:51:44.375+02:00In Times of Confusion - look left then Right, then ask, what is left that is right? LOL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVi-FCpd8LO8K-F1PpNA2bJiyoXJzX6l7jHn4L68T1V7hbQKD1oa2IfmCnT7rfR5ewdB7LLhSyF2iL7s6zq_3N0w6pjZdwMXJ8XHSagDDG84AANrCTfAGLARunOV8-4B0Trw3KCaN4qQ/s1280/WIN_20200730_08_47_44_Pro.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVi-FCpd8LO8K-F1PpNA2bJiyoXJzX6l7jHn4L68T1V7hbQKD1oa2IfmCnT7rfR5ewdB7LLhSyF2iL7s6zq_3N0w6pjZdwMXJ8XHSagDDG84AANrCTfAGLARunOV8-4B0Trw3KCaN4qQ/s640/WIN_20200730_08_47_44_Pro.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><br /><br />I have had several people come to me in the past month asking me, Gian, as a Desteni Farm member, I need some input on what is happening in the world. <br /></p><p>I have attempted to explain to two people what I see, and how I am approaching what is happening in the world. Now, a point I want to clarify is, I was a Desteni Farm member, the Desteni Farm does not exist anymore. So I am now a Desteni Member. Sure, I have input that not many others had the opportunity to have, I lived with Bernard and the Portal and other amazing people, pushing and living day in and day out Desteni, not just as a Destonian, but as a core member pushing and growing and standing as a farm member that supported and assist others who came to visit, giving up a lot of the system life and integration process to stand as what I/we did, but now I am in the system like anyone else, basically starting from scratch, as if I am 18 years old and fresh out of school. My life as Desteni, the Desteni farm, and what strange a time to enter the system, just as all shit started hitting the fan, and yes shit hitting the fan is slow, not all at once. <br /></p><p>That is all over. What remains is quit simple, and it is DESTENI and the people that walk this process for and as themselves as Destonians, as equals, when we walk as equals we have a group of individuals standing together and one within what is best for all life as one body. </p><p>I now have a regular job to have income, I am not supported by the "Desteni farm" and within this still stand as a Desteni member supporting and assisting the movement of Desteni, through my process as who I am, my blogs, my vlogs and Earth Haven. I am pushing to make Earth Haven my core focus as a Desteni member and pushing for a new farm land to start projects, but it all takes time and requires others support, like any business in this world. <br /></p><p>As a former Desteni Farm member and now simply a Desteni Member, what is happening in the world? </p><p>For me this is a relevant question, but to a degree very irrelevant when we consider all things can only change and move a certain direction based on who I am as an individual and so who you are as an individual, and so within this when someone asks me this question I rather ask, what are you doing within all of this? who are you within all of this? because that is what is going to matter and what is deciding what is happening in this world. Are you a MIND entity, or are you LIFE? <br /></p><p>Are you writing? are you applying self-forgiveness? are you in anyway participating in the DESTENI group events or community, such as the forum, or the group chats? are you living the principles? what is the point of asking me as a "Desteni farm Member" what is happening in the world, when I can not and have not even seen what is happening in your life or within you through you participation with and as Desteni? on a regular bases. <br /><br />I ask this because the people that come to me asking these questions, I do not even know who they are, as if I Gian as a Desteni farm member must know, must have a direction and thus MUST share it with them lol, yet, showing what is happening in this world everywhere, everyone is demanding answers, everyone is demanding change, everyone is demanding that others give direction and solutions, yet they themselves is seen nowhere applying a solution, not even in their own lives and less to say within themselves and WHO THEY ARE as humans, as the nature they have accepted and allowed themselves to exist as, as the mind as energy, so what answers and SOLUTIONS are you demanding when you are demanding them from a MIND Organic Robot? not really solutions yet. Now, not saying all, probably like the covid-19 virus, only 0.001% of people are applying individual change, the rest do not get infected with this part of change yet. <br /></p><p>So, I will not communicate with people/individuals through private messages or even some requesting I do private video calls with them, NO, I will not, unless I see your ass somewhere applying something, even if it is just sharing one blog a month of you showing that you understand DESTENI first of all, before requesting a Desteni Farm Member to answer your questions and give you time. Because what are you doing within this direction if you yourself are not even anywhere to be seen as a Desteonian? </p><p>You are once again placing the responsibility onto another to answer to what is happening in this world, and so what ever I say will either satisfy you or not, but either way I will be blamed for my answers if it does or does not fit your world view and understanding. It is even more dangerous, because you who asks me to answer your questions, have not spend the TIME to see or even know that all has been shared, it is all in Desteni message, on the forums, in Bernard Poolmans videos, it is not complicated, it is all there, yet asking me only reveals self, not actually having grasp what has been said, laid out and the process ahead, the cycles or even seeing that the solution has been shared for this life time, YES, the solution to even today's problems has been shared, why wonder what is happening in this world when you can simply live the solution and trust that solution as yourself? why get distracted, that is the whole point the system will attempt to do, distract you from YOU, the solution, and so when all individuals are distracted who has and know the solution, then there is no group moving as individuals as equals within the same principles, it is all scattered and lost. </p><p>2020 is the year it is TOO LATE, and we are TOO LATE, yet the solution is still here, as long as you can read this and are reading this. It is simply too late for HOPE, there is no more hope, now it is to live the solution as self in each breathe as life as what is best for all life, and so as individuals standing the same we walk as one, and to accumulate the principle faster and faster and so a solution is naturally born, through changing the nature of man. </p><p>Many people are already awakening, without Desteni and the Desteni message, so do not see this as something that is exclusive, Desteni is simply a matter of taking the change into your hands, the process given, the solution given and walking it deliberately, as that quantify the process for all to change. </p><p>What is happening in the world? I can give you my insights, but I will not for this post. As my answers at this point can only be a distraction. I will make a private video for Earth Haven in time to come on my insights for the members only, I feel there it can be directed more effectively. I do not have magical insight, simply 1+1 insights. Even I find my own insight, and the predictions I have made in the last few years that came true based on Math and dreams I had (only shared it with people close to me). Seems useless as long as WHO I AM and WHO YOU ARE isn't aligned in directing anything. </p><p>Stop looking outwards FIRST, make the journey inwards and your Self-Honesty and SEEING reality beyond your brainwashing will step forth, you will not feel lost then, but rather know your direction as self as what is best for all within who you are. </p><p>We still have a LONG way to go, as the next 7 years as I see it, will be 7 years of consequences, where everything, all rights and wrongs, all the moralities, laws and rules of this world will collide, the past and the present and the future, for the next 7 years this will all mix and mingle, and there will be only one outcome, this one outcome is not yet decided, the outcome will take place again in a cycle of 7 years from 2027 till 2034... For now, let everything go into chaos, chaos is where good an evil as the polarity design of this reality we exist in mix and the fine lines become unclear, and this is where we must stand as what is best for all, to define and create the new RIGHT and WRONG, where what is best for all life is the NEW right, and what is not best for all life is the new wrong, and thus ending polarity, the past. <br /><br />This will not come by magically. It will be a real hard physical process, and for all those who can SEE and HEAR, not what the media is telling you, not what is on social media, or what is in the gossiping circles, NO, what is within self as self-honesty hearing self as life, that is where real standing and change will come by, then the question is, do you have the WILL to not be distracted, no matter how tempting, to remain in breathe as LIFE and to stand as what is best for all regardless when a polarity is thrown at you with a system morality judgement? </p><p>Those who will stand together in silence as life will stand as the new direction together, those who stand outside the mess, in this world but not of this world, and thus stand by what is best for all life in thought/word and deed, not moved by the temptations of the flesh and remain steadfast in the new world that is best for all, shall be the way and the light. I am done rambling. <br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p><br /></p>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-58852132974270289572020-08-28T07:51:00.009+02:002020-08-28T08:52:09.817+02:00Blame Self-Forgiveness<div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="b4nf9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b4nf9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="b4nf9-0-0"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf0C5CejJwsXeTs3YiJ-ODwer52x-O-FiYwvphhsIrjEGtoPR-DJqS4fCDdqM_ZtJxtmkjaaVKv16xK2RmaOdA89PuzWbkznP-8_6-uQ_LdjgkeYPnAygqB7C_SUn10KgQQUkYgMVk9EI/s1600/viber_image_2020-08-28_00-49-16.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf0C5CejJwsXeTs3YiJ-ODwer52x-O-FiYwvphhsIrjEGtoPR-DJqS4fCDdqM_ZtJxtmkjaaVKv16xK2RmaOdA89PuzWbkznP-8_6-uQ_LdjgkeYPnAygqB7C_SUn10KgQQUkYgMVk9EI/w512-h512/viber_image_2020-08-28_00-49-16.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><br /><span data-text="true"><br /><br />Blame Self-Forgiveness </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fjbbf-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fjbbf-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fjbbf-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="aet9d-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="aet9d-0-0"><span data-offset-key="aet9d-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of blame. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="39go9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="39go9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="39go9-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="397fg-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="397fg-0-0"><span data-offset-key="397fg-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="7m5s0-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7m5s0-0-0"><span data-offset-key="7m5s0-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is validity in blame. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="e43rd-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="e43rd-0-0"><span data-offset-key="e43rd-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="9hcfn-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9hcfn-0-0"><span data-offset-key="9hcfn-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="1kd5c-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1kd5c-0-0"><span data-offset-key="1kd5c-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT understand blame, the construct of blame, what blame really is, yet use it , spread it around like normal, as if it is simply a normal thing to do, to place everything outside of myself. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="70so8-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="70so8-0-0"><span data-offset-key="70so8-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="3tcl7-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3tcl7-0-0"><span data-offset-key="3tcl7-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="64rg2-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="64rg2-0-0"><span data-offset-key="64rg2-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEED the mind consciousness system of BLAME through not only participating in it consciously, but to live it without question sub-consciously and unconsciously in my daily living in small and big situations as who I am. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fonb9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fonb9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fonb9-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="82nm9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="82nm9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="82nm9-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="8f1eq-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8f1eq-0-0"><span data-offset-key="8f1eq-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize that when and as another person, thing or situation comes into my mind when I am looking at a point in my life, when I am looking at my life, my situation in life, my circumstances in life, that the very fact that something else came up first instead of me asking myself questions, looking at myself first, I am already blaming, deflecting, taking self-responsibility away from myself and making something/someone else a target to blame. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="5fkc9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5fkc9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="5fkc9-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="187if-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="187if-0-0"><span data-offset-key="187if-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR owning myself, my actions, my words, my deeds, my thoughts, even when two or more is involved in a situation, my life or in this world, as all is connected, yet I am always responsible for me and who i am within me and thus can not be blamed onto someone else, as that resolves nothing but only creates cycles of blame and victims forevermore. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fl7vb-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fl7vb-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fl7vb-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fsug1-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fsug1-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fsug1-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="42h1q-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="42h1q-0-0"><span data-offset-key="42h1q-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create MORALITY within what BLAME is or what is it NOT, where in my mind I go into the polarity of, OK so I must never confront, or stand up or take a stand for something to stop blaming, or I must keep blaming and can not stop blaming until that something else is sorted, where I am now again accessing a polarity, instead of seeing and realizing that ACTION does not require BLAME or a polarity, it does not require SIDES, it simply requires self to be silence within, and to stand within what is BEST for ALL as a principle of guidance, as I as self stopped blame, and so I do not see sides, I only see me, who I am and who I am standing as what is best for all life, no matter the situation, I must be clear to have a clear new direction. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="br767-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="br767-0-0"><span data-offset-key="br767-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="9pk06-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9pk06-0-0"><span data-offset-key="9pk06-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to CREATE polarity out of everything. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="a01qq-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a01qq-0-0"><span data-offset-key="a01qq-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="9b4lh-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9b4lh-0-0"><span data-offset-key="9b4lh-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself FEED off BLAME, to FEEL powerful within blaming, especially when my BLAME game is top stuff, where I can win and over power another with my blame, where my arguments are logical, it makes sense and forces the other person to change, but I get away with remaining the same. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="ae0jo-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ae0jo-0-0"><span data-offset-key="ae0jo-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="290pl-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="290pl-0-0"><span data-offset-key="290pl-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY pointing fingers in all directions as BLAME, pointing out everything, all the details, all the points for the others to see, so that I point so much that in the end I point out the eyes of the other person and all they can see is their BAD evil sins, how they are responsible for everything and that I am such a victim, I do not have to do anything, they must now do everything and they have NO way of pointing anything back at me, as I have made sure, with all the POINTING of fingers they were blinded to see my shit, and eventually even not I can see my own shit anymore, and so can not see, they are overwhelmed with what was pointed out, so I am safe, I can get away, I am okay, I made it, I can now just again sit and do nothing. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="5kdar-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="5kdar-0-0"><span data-offset-key="5kdar-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="1fc7u-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1fc7u-0-0"><span data-offset-key="1fc7u-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how and when I react to another person, I am BLAMING, and so not seeing and realizing how INSTANT blame is activated and how instantly we place ourselves/myself in a victim state, where someone else can MAKE me experience something, and so I get frustrated, hate, angry, irritated, name it all towards that person, and so in essence saying, YOU made me experience that, you are to blame, you made me do it, not taking full responsibility for the fact that what I experience and that comes up within ME is inherently mine/ours, as it came from within self/me and nowhere else, the other person, people simply showed me what exist within me already, which is the point I must deal with, stop and change. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="6oo0-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6oo0-0-0"><span data-offset-key="6oo0-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="evald-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="evald-0-0"><span data-offset-key="evald-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the LIVING and acting of blame within myself, my environment and how I conduct myself daily within who I am. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="6mnli-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6mnli-0-0"><span data-offset-key="6mnli-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="a0q1l-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="a0q1l-0-0"><span data-offset-key="a0q1l-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how LIVING blame isn’t a conscious decision, but rather a living action in my patterns and habits, where I live in a consistent state of blaming. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="ak4dm-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ak4dm-0-0"><span data-offset-key="ak4dm-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="ck80k-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ck80k-0-0"><span data-offset-key="ck80k-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fnu1p-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fnu1p-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fnu1p-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to be in a MOOD is a living form of blame. Where I will live in a mood, how I feel, towards my environment as if I am saying/telling my environment YOU are the problem, LOOK how I am experiencing myself, and so within this living action dictate my day, my time, my environment to be that of being against me, attacking me, not working for me, nothing is right, placing myself in a consistent state of being a victim within myself. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="1dul0-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="1dul0-0-0"><span data-offset-key="1dul0-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="2r8pi-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2r8pi-0-0"><span data-offset-key="2r8pi-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I am moved/directed by my environment in ways that places me in a mood, a reaction, a friction within me, that I am within a BLAMING personality, where I am literally walking around, waiting for something to activate me to react towards, to go into a state of blaming, being angry at someone or something, feeling that I am not considered or taken into account, like whatever is happening has always happened and at this point I am not the problem anymore but everyone else is, and so access that mind set where I start attacking my environment, the people, the things, the circumstances and making everything a problem outside of me, not seeing and realizing that it all comes from within me and I am forcing what exist within me onto my environment as blame, instead of seeing, OK, this is a repeating pattern, or something that keeps happening, and what is the coincidence that it always happens with ME, I must obviously be the point of origin and need to look at what I must change and take responsibility for, take action for in a directive way that correct and aligns points to what is best for all, such as communicate, talk, find practical solutions and come to agreements. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="3i2mv-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3i2mv-0-0"><span data-offset-key="3i2mv-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="rj4p-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="rj4p-0-0"><span data-offset-key="rj4p-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as a way to justify my actions, my responses, my movements as my habits and patterns that I am struggling with to change, instead of admitting what I am struggling with and changing that part. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="7248n-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="7248n-0-0"><span data-offset-key="7248n-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="fpr9-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fpr9-0-0"><span data-offset-key="fpr9-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to ASK for help due to feeling that I am all alone, that I have no one that can understand me or give me the right guidance, and so already go into BLAME, where I blame everyone else for not understanding me, not seeing me, not being able to support me if I need support in the right way, and so already enhance a cycle that will never end unless I end it, till i stand up from it and take self-responsibility, as I see and realize that within such a cycle, dis-empower EVERYONE and myself and so make nothing possible for myself or anyone, except to be LAME. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="dtali-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="dtali-0-0"><span data-offset-key="dtali-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="epght-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="epght-0-0"><span data-offset-key="epght-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize how deep BLAME goes, where I will LIVE blame in such a way that I can not even see it, I am it, it is me as a living entity and I can reason and justify myself as blame to such an extent that I can make myself and other believe that what I am saying is TRUTH, as I will take common points of self-victimization that I know exist within myself and others and so use it to create a massive bubble of blame, where the problems in my life and their lives suddenly are external, it suddenly is outside of themselves and so it must be true, because look, we can all agree on it, and so within this, the self interest that I gain is simple, to not have to change who I am, I may remain the same and in my bubble of being victim, where I do not have to really do any work, self work, where I do not have to focus on WHO I AM, as I have now externalized the problem to such an extent that to even try and now move back inwards it will seem as if I am betraying everyone else, and even feel so for myself. </span></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="clf5t" data-offset-key="8ef5v-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="8ef5v-0-0"><span data-offset-key="8ef5v-0-0"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><span data-offset-key="a4chr-0-0"><span data-text="true">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy way out where I can just BLAME everyone and everything around me, before even looking inwards, before looking within myself and asking myself basic questions, did I do everything in my power, my creative mind to change myself, to see where I can change and what i can change, did I put in the steps to change, the WILL to change, and if i can tick off all of those boxes in full self-honesty, then may I question the outside and get feedback and so work first inwards and then outwards, as I see and realize to work outwards first can and will create a trap where moving back inwards can become impossible to even see, as I lose myself in the mess I create and that can be created within BLAMING</span></span>Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-72679173420614709502020-07-26T13:36:00.001+02:002020-07-26T13:36:39.514+02:00Porn and Masturbation - A POOR nature
<p class="MsoNormal"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5MaHYrdPp5S0W8BrZ217idxNrM1RiPlMUk2cYN8456AeBACAmNes_FJB2MZVZ7ooVLw_Y8tNGYCP3q9lhDh5y5_LfiAZ3gKSaX77CjqVwAsCy6OriI_-vU4z0M3aUbzzR61nfiTjGZVM/s1920/hands-1167626_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1099" data-original-width="1920" height="371" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5MaHYrdPp5S0W8BrZ217idxNrM1RiPlMUk2cYN8456AeBACAmNes_FJB2MZVZ7ooVLw_Y8tNGYCP3q9lhDh5y5_LfiAZ3gKSaX77CjqVwAsCy6OriI_-vU4z0M3aUbzzR61nfiTjGZVM/s320/hands-1167626_1920.jpg" width="649" /></a></b></div><b><span style="font-size: 24.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><font size="1"><span class="attribution_field hide-sm hide-md"><span>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/geralt-9301/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=1167626">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=1167626">Pixabay</a></span></span></font></span></b><br /><b><span style="font-size: 24.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 24.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A Perspective
on Porn and Masturbation </span></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It all starts with self-judgement, the path to watching porn
and masturbating to it. Then it leads into addiction, possibly. There is
nothing wrong with masturbation, if it is pure and clear, NO images, no
thoughts. Yet, to get to that, and to end the abuse of porn I am going to share
some perspective and insights. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Porn isn’t about you just sitting down, or standing, or
laying and watching images and videos or others having intercourse. Porn is how
you SEE yourself within yourself, within your mind, as the self-judgements you
have of yourself, of your physical FORM, your body and how you define and value
yourself based on IMAGES as the FORM of your body.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You see, when you watch porn you are doing something
strange, you are taking YOU as who you believe yourself to be and placing
yourself in your mind in the scenario of the porn you are watching, this self
that you are projecting can either be a negative or positive self, it does not
matter, the self you are placing of yourself in the scenario of watching porn
is thus self-judgement. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The point of watching porn becomes about generating energy,
a feeling or emotion, a HIGH within your mind, again it does not matter if it
is positive or negative, the mind thrives off energy and mining the body of it’s
resources (the physical substance of self) to create an experience, this
experience is always about integrating and confirming ones own self-judgments,
does not matter if it is positive or negative, as long as there is a
confirmation of THIS IS WHO I AM. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, playing with the sounding and word PORN, we can see it
comes already from when we were BORN, and the quality of this world/life is
that of POOR(N), this poor life quality isn’t referring to actual poverty of
which 3,5 billion people suffer from in this world, this poor quality is that of
the human, which is JUDGEMENT, we are born into a world that ensured and
enhances judgement towards one another on a consistent bases daily. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The judgements we have towards ourselves and one another is
PICTURE based. It starts with our parents who was influenced and judged by
their parents, and so on, where PARENTS will define and judge their children
based on their physical form (their genetics). </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We all know for a fact that our parents judged us, they
would say things like you have a pretty face, you are beautiful, you are
unique, you are fat, you are overweight, you need to lose some weight, you need
to eat more, you need to do something better with your hair, the men are going
to love you, the girls are going to fall at your feet, you are such a sweet
person. You must dress better, you must get a tan – I mean, the comments and
input on our physical appearances and our physical FORM from our parents/family
members, then society since we were born is NON-STOP. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Later on in life, we find ourselves with a voice of immense
self-judgment running rampant in our heads, this voice blabbers as our parents,
our family members and society on and on inside ourselves, constantly judging ourselves
and others, always VALUING the FORMS/BODIES we see around us, who is sexy and
who is ugly, always using ourselves as a reference of self-judgement. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thus we become walking PORN producers. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why do I say that? Why do we become walking porn producers? Why
did our parents care about our looks? Why did our parents and family members
and society JUDGE us and still do based on our physical forms/bodies? Because when
you are born, you have no clue what this world is about. Yet our parents
already knew, it is all about SEX and MONEY, you need to be sexy/hot to get a
partner, or make money to get sex/children/family, to be secure and you need to
be able to get a JOB, so our parents start early on preparing us by making sure
we KNOW our place, based on how we LOOK, do we have pretty eyes? A sexy jawline?
A good-looking ass? Big boobs or small boobs? Our parents made sure we know our
strengths and weaknesses of our genetic bodies given to us by them (for which
we had no choice of), through constantly judging us and defining us, dressing
us up, placing images onto us and making our physical FORM given to us by
genetic, VERY personal, as if it defines who we are. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">NOW. Here is the dark side of how it is all done in MOST
cases, hidden, secretively, very manipulatively, our parents and society will
not come up to us as children and tell us straight up, this world is fucked up,
you MUST succeed in SEX and MONEY, because that is what rules this world,
because that is admitting to your children that this world is not as great, it
is ruled by sex and money, what a wonderful world. So it will be done through
parents/family and society HINTING, commenting, and SHOWING you images over and
over, mom will say, you look so pretty in that dress, or ugg that is an ugly
dress, or wow you look amazing in that shirt, or you need to lose some weight,
or the guys will see you as a slut – I am going to leave this part to you to
look at your life and all the comments your dad or mom or uncle or aunt or
other people have ever thrown at you, then go further, LOOK at the magazines,
TV, movies, I mean it is a consistent impulsing system of creating and valuing
the FORM/BODY of the human as an IMAGE/sexual object, and all of this mostly
happens to you and is impulsed to you by the age of 7, most of it. Thus, it is
all in the sub-conscious mind, and forgotten as thoughts, by the time it is in
the sub-conscious, it is you now living it, thus by the time you turn thirteen,
the teenager stage, you start really bringing it all out in many different ways.
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, this POOR that PORN is exposing is a form of LACKING –
thus why do you watch PORN? Why go there? Because you believe you are LACKING!!
That is what this system impulses and also actually exist as, as it is always
survival for 90% of humanity, no abundance, and thus the need to make everyone
a sex object for money, or money objects for sex, either way, that is the
symbolism for the porn industry, absolute abuse, which we are living as
ourselves in our own minds towards ourselves and others, by simply walking in
the park, or walking around a mall. We are constantly porn producers in our
minds towards each other. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We abuse each other every day through walking around and
JUDGING ourselves first and foremost as either pretty or ugly and all the other
ways we do this to ourselves, in all our own manners (this part is again for
you to look at), or in-between, and thus doing so onto others consistently, and
we do it through the cause of SEX, because we want to find a partner, and thus
money and security, why else would anyone judge their own appearance? It always
leads to sex, or money. Just what the porn industry all about in a very direct
way, and thus also exposes the abuse we all do to ourselves and each other. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, each time you are about to abuse yourself through
watching porn (because now you know it is from a form of LACKING) and thus by
watching and masturbating to porn, all you are doing is confirming and compounding
and impulsing, I AM LACKING, and thus telling yourself I can not change, I am
doomed to this life, I am doomed to my situation, I am too ugly, or I am too
sexy, I can not do this, I want to keep doing this, either way, no matter if
positive or negative, it is feeding the same system of lacking, THIS WORLD and
how we define and value and place ourselves within ourselves and thus this
world. And when we feel and keep this believe of I am lacking alive in
ourselves, we are much more likely to accept and allow abuse in our lives and
this world, because a person with a value system constantly validating the LACK
of self, will not care too much about others. Because you do not care for
yourself. </p>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why do you think child pornography is so
extensive? Why is abusive porn so extensive? Why is there porn of all kinds of
abusive things existent in this world? It is because people will watch porn,
search for that specific porn they FEEL they can connect to, just to confirm to
themselves, YES I am lacking, I am missing something, and all you have to do to
stop this abuse is, forgive yourself and change your own self-definition to
that of LIFE, your own value not based on images/looks and money, stop child
sex trafficking, stop the abuse inside yourself that you have accepted and
allowed as JUDGEMENT towards yourself and others, and end sexual abuse n this
world starting with yourself, once we all value ourselves as LIFE, not as
images, we can stand together for a new system that values LIFE. <br />
<br />
You might think you are GAINING something watching and masturbating to porn, a
release maybe? But this is not the case. <br />
<br />
Join me at Earth Haven, Lets create an awesome online community and a Physical
Earth Haven community where we can start impulsing the right stuff. <a href="http://www.patreon.com/earthhaven">www.patreon.com/earthhaven</a> Join us
with solutions. </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-91509300332375033872020-06-11T07:03:00.003+02:002020-06-12T19:41:41.322+02:00C O N T R O L
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2916" data-original-width="4375" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFXYP3zd5mAObXSzc2ePDJ28JLqE01RFrh2tPE5fgTNRKk1r8lIKfuPmEnm8dZUjCSQwpnY-1uAOxqKgoVU-TnYEKPwkYdBERXtE-76HM0L3r86TzHKA1EwtiINK_WOFcahOwYuINPMjc/s320/jimmy-chang-SADRSiisg50-unsplash.jpg" width="650" /></div><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
want to control <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR control. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being controlled.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Desire control over certain things/people</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that any attempt to control others is me controlling only myself and e3nslaving myself to that control system one and equal.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear LOSING the control I believe I have, where I fear if I lose control that everything will be lost, gone, that all I have worked so hard for will be for nothing, seeing and realizing that all I fear is me and who I will be, thus I see and realize that I can choose/decide who I am no matter what happens and thus I can let go of control, allow flow, allow things to grow, allow processes to move and unfold where I am or can not directly have an impact, or say, and so focus on me my living here and directing myself as water do. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I can control</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that to want to control is to confirm one’s fear, thus
control is a direct form of fearful living, where I will approach situations or people with control out of fear, instead of approaching people or situations simply with common sense and to be open to receive, to learn, to give, to teach equal and one where all is considered and thus no control is required. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I am able to control things/others. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that control is a coping mechanism, as to come with what is
here, versus finding a real solution. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that CONTROL is a form of avoidance, where I control things
in my environment as to avoid reactions, to avoid parts of myself within myself
that I do not like to face, take on. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that to control and to be able to control something is power, not
seeing and realizing that within placing control onto others/myself I enslave
myself and others to a certain way things are, and so must always be in a
certain MODE of control, enslaving myself to a character. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that I must CHANGE myself, come to agreements and implement
principle living where control becomes obsolete, renders it useless in the
mind, where I live like water, water can not be controlled it will flow, rain,
vaporize, it will find a way to move and direct itself to be life giving, as
the principle and agreement of water is life giving and so always move to do
that, nothing more and nothing less, and any imbalance within that does not
require more control, as it is impossible, but rather solutions/corrections
within the principle for the flow of life to be here. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
want to control the outcome of something, as I have come to believe that my way
is the right way, and no one else is to be trusted, or can be trusted. THUS
creating distrust and so the opposite of the desired outcome, as all control is
lost through only distrust being acted on in the disguise of control. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
when and as I believe I have control over something, over people and a
direction within how things are moving, to feel powerful, to feel like things
are getting done, to feel that things are finally moving forward, only to find
out that control is a moment, and eventually the truth comes to the surface
that control is not possible, and so go into a polarity of I am failing,
everything is falling backwards, nothing is working out, and so within that
lose control within me and my direction, as I find it was a house of cards built
upon illusions as control. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to misdirect control as to create the illusion of change only to maintain
control, only postpone the inevitable, only prolong the process of LIFE that
needs to flow, that needs to move, and only through allowing the water to flow
and to reach it’s destination, it must be let lose, as it will become swampy,
contaminated if it only sits still in the same pond, not moving.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear letting go of self-control and to let myself live, to be. To express
without fear of what others will think of me or how they will judge me, and so
allow my waters to flow, to grow to find their ways to HERE, to stop
controlling me to be a certain way in fear of what others will think, as I see
and realize it is about me and my living, who I am and allowing myself to see
myself, especially when I move, when my waters move, when I can grow and give
as I have received as water does and do. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that living by the principle of what is best for all life in all ways naturally renders control useless, as principle living is who I am, and thus I do not have to control who I am. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to trust myself to flow, to move, to grow and to focus on myself, to let my
self-control go, my moralities, to trust my principle in living as water trust
itself to be water, life giving, and therefore no control needed, not a one way
or a certain way, I must be the way as the movement as me. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone comes to challenge me, what I am doing, or parts of me, to immediately move into control, to control the situation, instead of allowing it to flow all the way, to flush out the waters that isn't needed, to trust the moment that is challenging me to stir the waters to remove any impurities, and so seeing that in such moment I must breathe, I must focus on what is presented within me, find the reactions that want to push me to control, let them go, let the new in and let it flow, I see and realize in such moment I must breathe and stand by my principle, no need to think, hold within me, what is best for all and thus myself with the new information presented within what is here as life, what works, what is best, and move with that based on principle, not personal.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing control. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort in the illusion of control.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the wind blowing against me, pushing me freely around as a dance to be my expression, but to rather be fighting the winds, not wanting to move. <br /> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
FEAR letting go of what I define as the BEST way that I see, or that was given to me a certain
way to do a certain something, in the fear of taking the long way, the wrong
way or going through unnecessary processes and learning experiences to only
come at the same point again given to me, and thus going into control, where I
control myself to NOT flow, to not move, to not grow, to now TRUST myself as
the WAY given to me as a living expression in who I am in all ways, as water
does, water does not change no matter where it goes, water remains water, and
water will go through anything and everything, around, under, above, through as
it is THE way and it remains life giving in all ways, even when they way physically changes.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe letting go is giving up. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let GO of what can be let go of, as a point of allowing myself to flow, to open up space as to move and be HERE, more effective. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Letting go of what I can see is not necessary, that I am simply holding onto for the sake of control, the illusion of power and the fear of experiencing myself different. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear different things, to fear different sides of myself, to fear what I do know is suppressed and hidden within me, and know I have been controlling things in the attempt to avoid them, where I see control as the only way, yet knowing I cna take a pen and paper, or a blog and write, forgive myself, investigate the point to remove fear, to allow myself to move forward anew. <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HIDE myself, parts of myself through controlling myself.</p><p class="MsoNormal">......<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
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<![endif]-->Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-80253737536142646882020-05-14T16:57:00.004+02:002020-05-14T16:57:35.341+02:00First, Silence in the Storm/self, STOP the panic in the pandemic - Self forgiveness 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ODjSFAlEvfx7ngGayvODSVOkHNf9cSNyBRXf2kvsFG2Yuv__CbcmMYtNHLqAg_FqCpurnFQ_cwaXUC05QZWH-5Fhksk5RZGMw7AlGfajvnD9bMnfK61yg9RqENrtP9_IJqQR3Gtco0M/s1600/StockSnap_DC6TBI9X7J.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ODjSFAlEvfx7ngGayvODSVOkHNf9cSNyBRXf2kvsFG2Yuv__CbcmMYtNHLqAg_FqCpurnFQ_cwaXUC05QZWH-5Fhksk5RZGMw7AlGfajvnD9bMnfK61yg9RqENrtP9_IJqQR3Gtco0M/s640/StockSnap_DC6TBI9X7J.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Photo by <a href="https://stocksnap.io/author/200">Matthew Henry</a> from <a href="https://stocksnap.io">StockSnap</a><br /><br />I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that as long as I have a reaction/fear towards how the current pandemic
is handled within the world, that is validates my opinions about it, not seeing
and realizing that my reaction/fear is contaminating my seeing and information
processing, and thus my opinion is just that, an opinion running wild with
assumptions and projections, where I am projecting my fear and reactions into
and onto reality, wanting it to be validated and confirmed by others to feel
safe, to feel that I am on the right path, and so as to not have to experience
fear or my reactions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear letting go of my opinions/believes/ideas and to be still/quiet within me
regarding the pandemic, the world and what is going on, to really see what is
HERE, in fear of that what I believe it to be not being real, not being my
fear, not being what I want it to be. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that I want my opinions/believes to be the TRUTH of what is
going on within the world, as I then feel in control, and so when I feel in
control I feel I will not lose, and so I will impose and even manifest my
opinions/believes and ideas to be real just to be in control to win, to be
right., and thus I see and realize that I am the creator of what I fear, by
acting out of fear and on my fears.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear being caught with my pants down regarding what is going on in this world
regarding this pandemic and thus fear what I am going to do, thus who I am
going to be, and so I see and realize that what I fear is me, my reactions, my
experiences, my worst fears coming true, and not the pandemic itself, but
rather me within it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear the unknown, to fear what I can not see and do not know, and so within
this state of fear go into attempting to make things Known to myself, by taking
the fears and projecting them outwards into my reality and manifesting them, so
that I can see them, anywhere and everywhere as to attempt to make everything
known, so that I can point fingers and say, LOOK there it is, I am right, I
know, I can see, and thus not only manifesting my fear in my reality within
what is here, but to in fact reinforce it through getting others to agree with
my opinions and to stand with me, as two or more in my name, and it shall be done. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear
the virus, to make my fears about the virus, and thus anything and everything said
about the virus becomes fuel for my fear, and not my common sense, my self-trust,
and thus I sell out myself to fear of the virus, where the virus is this
monster, yet not looking at what brings a virus about within this world, how it
spreads and how it is handled, which can show it is not the virus to fear, but
rather seeing that mans fear manifested a world where only fear exists and thus
a virus can exist that effects all equal and one, and so I see and realize it
is a world that I must change by being the change first within myself, stopping
me existing as fear and rather living within consideration of all life, as what
is best for all life practically. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create more separation between me and my fellow humans within this pandemic by NOT
stopping my thoughts/feelings and emotions FIRST and foremost of my interpretations
and projections of the pandemic, and to actually have a real conversation with
my fellow man, instead of simply IMPOSING and forcing my opinions and believes
of the situation onto them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
make myself and my position and my OPINIONS the GOOD side, where I am on the
right side, and I CARE and everyone else that does not share the same FEELINGS
as me towards the pandemic will be BAD people, and so in fact create more separation
and the signature of WAR between my fellow man, and thus I see and realize I
must stop, I must slow down and look, is WAR with my fellow man a better option
than dealing with the pandemic, is separating myself from others a better way
forward? I see and realize this is NOT best for all, thus I take self-responsibility
and I stop, as I see and realize it is best to deal with reality here as it is
with my fellow man rather than separating and creating war with my fellow man
while also dealing with a pandemic. Thus, I see with me and my fellow humans
connected, standing as one, we can prevent and take action that is best for all
dealing with what is here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conspire
against my brother and sister. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
give away my responsibility as my brother’s keeper to fear, to wanting to be
right, to wanting to convince my brother/sister of my point of view, or ELSE,
or I do not care, I do not stand with them, and within so keep going into
circles of win and lose, never coming together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
eat from the three of good and evil as the tree of knowledge and to abandon the
tree of LIFE by giving into my fears, opinions and beliefs of what is here,
versus reality, where reality is, I am here and my fellow humans are here, we
must untie, not in opinions and believes, not in convincing and converting each
other to our way and view of seeing what is here, but rather within the
principle of LIFE and how can we direct and manifest what will bring an outcome
that is best for all life based on the basic needs of every man women and child
within this reality as a physical living NEED, and to deal with pandemics where
all needs are met, and where all are take care of, where we do not accept and
allow abuse of one another and being each other’s keepers, seeing and realizing
that as long as we fight, split, and divide, we will allow and accept abuse, we
will not be able to direct reality here as we each will be stuck in our minds
in alternative realities of what is going on and fighting to be right, versus
supporting each other in this reality instead. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To continue. </div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-15041356131174201162020-05-10T05:13:00.001+02:002020-05-10T12:19:23.908+02:00Trauma - A Deeply Distressing or Disturbing Experience. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDDorSVlLvL-GWz_Xydt_t5F4aaben9G08xOBXTAtJ7J5ssfOJFpjkFdDymohUL3e0BEOsmjWVKpEqm3Z-IHAYa__YUPfLwLONAK3FrDOxfazaiOfQp79jS3_vziJ-cxanONqHMncwKo/s1600/95084704_3012563908786779_5349181797781191037_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDDorSVlLvL-GWz_Xydt_t5F4aaben9G08xOBXTAtJ7J5ssfOJFpjkFdDymohUL3e0BEOsmjWVKpEqm3Z-IHAYa__YUPfLwLONAK3FrDOxfazaiOfQp79jS3_vziJ-cxanONqHMncwKo/s640/95084704_3012563908786779_5349181797781191037_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The road back to self. <br />
<br />
When we look at Trauma, it can be many things to any given
person in any moment, as long as we look at the definition we can see that
depending on so many circumstances in our lives from the time of birth, we can experience
trauma from the smallest to the biggest things. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trauma can be something as simple as your parents telling
you NO, when you ask them something, or when you want something, all the way to
the extremes of being in an accident, starving to death, losing your house/family. </div>
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Our current world system is a trauma inducing system, it induces
trauma from birth till death, the way the system is designed, justified and set
up in all aspects is to create trauma, a shock to our systems/expressions as
human beings. We are born into distressed families surviving, making money,
losing jobs, looking for jobs, always stressed and busy, always running around
or already living in a state of shock and coping from trauma/distress of how
the system mules us in its design and functionality. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take a simple example of trauma that occurs for most humans
at birth, we are born and immediately ripped from our mother and put through a
system of “cleaning us up” which is to take us as a baby and use these unknown
materials such as cloth and cold water to splash and rub and scrub the blood off
of us and make us clean, then to be placed back into our mothers hands, only to
be taken away a few moment later for more checkups and examinations, then to be
placed back into our mothers arms. it is all good and so considering, yet how we are handled isn't always best, I speak here form personal experience and seeing my son being born. </div>
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This is but one example, the Trauma already started before
that, from simple traumas of the system and how it is designed, where our parents had to ask themselves questions such as, could they afford a hospital, a good one, did our parents have the
money, did they meet the right person/doctor to give birth to us that cares
and treats us with care, did our birth cause a family disturbance at home, is
home stable, do the family I am born into have stability emotionally and
physically. ALL of this determines how we are within the womb and what we
experience when we come out. Since our system is designed on uncertainty of HUMAN value and life, the trauma of just existing here is consistent. </div>
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All of the system is trauma inducing if it is not a system designed of the utmost
potential of human life, where there is a system/systems that supports all life
equally with true care in place, where money isn’t and does not play any factor in our
creation, or birth, or growing up and living in this world, as Money effects
every single aspect of everything, from our thoughts, words and deeds, as we
are BORN from and within money, and the existence of it, all of our existence is
trauma, as it is an unequal GREED, POWER, CONTROL system, the very air we are born into isn't pure, that in itself is traumatizing, not to mention our food and water, the very basics needs we depend on has been traumatized and destroyed to be like a slow poison for our bodies, not to mention even withheld from 50% of humans to a degree. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is why reality and life on earth is beautiful as the
physical plain of nature and what is here as nature, and when we look towards the
human’s existence here, it is disturbing, we are disturbed, everything about us
is out of place, it does not just seem that way, you can feel it in your gut
that there is something deeply disturbing, and the secret to why we all have
this feeling in our stomachs isn’t a complicated one, it is because we have
woven money into the fabric of our very existence and lives. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take a moment to see how traumatizing this is for life on
earth, and so for us each as individuals on the planet, the earth is traumatized
and it is obvious when we look to nature and what is going on there/here. It is
a reflection of US, who we are as humans, what we have accepted and allowed
within ourselves and so in this world, and so for each and every child to be
born into this traumatizing world keeps manifesting traumatized humans and so the world. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are all traumatized, and it is very important that we see
this, admit this, to a degree we are all in some form of shell-shock, from being
born, how we are born and brought into this world, to being send off to school
like little soldier getting ready to go fight for our very survival after the
schooling system, and school is all about getting you ready to handle shock/trauma by
constantly shocking you, traumatizing you with authority, with rules, with
standards and with the whole system of children running together, bullying,
fighting and comparing themselves to one another to see who can beat down who
to get on top and the school system thrives on this, who is the losers and who are the winners, traumatizing each
other on behalf of the system, this obviously is but part of it all, then there is the
other half of the world living in poverty, famine, war and in extreme
circumstances of abuse within this world, from prostitution, sex slave trafficking,
violence, torture and rape, murder, which is in itself extremely traumatizing and used
as a way to blackmail and induce fear into those that live a quit “normal life”
to again create distress/trauma as a way of control, manipulating and get no one to do anything, to change nothing. <br />
<br />
Because you are traumatized, a consistent state of being traumatized and hypnotized, living in a shell of shock, not able to know, what the fuck is going on, who am I, where are we going, why is this life, what happened to my life, and so on we go with the question of a traumatized person. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write this blog, because I had a recent realization about
myself within the word trauma, my trauma. I had a blind spot where I have been
denying and pushing aside past experiences, past moments that has happened
within my life, I have been looking at these moment and I got all the way to my
birth and this system that exist on earth we humans have created above the
natural system as nature. and call this system natural, a natural human economic
system would be in alignment with nature, and it most definitely isn’t, thus
made up bullshit system. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I saw me going into the BIGGER picture of the trauma
that exist inherently within this world was me again avoiding my trauma and
dealing with my trauma YET I see it important to have the bigger picture and thus sharing it here for others and support. I went into self-judgment about my trauma, my
experiences that I experienced and stored/defined within me as trauma as not
being valid as I am not starving or living in poverty. This is where I saw I
was creating blind spots for myself that keeps me in a loop and in the past.
Not wanting to deal with myself in certain aspects of myself and my life, justified
by the back chat of “others are in worse situations than me” they have true
trauma, my points are just petty shit, I must get over it. Seeing how I have been brainwashed to remain in place = ).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I wrote this out first, as I am in my blogs to come
going to do introspection into MY trauma, to stop judging my traumas and
denying them, no matter how small they are, as I do not want to live with BLIND-SPOTS directing my life, when all I have to do is look in the side mirror
to see what is coming and take self-responsibility. Because I want to be the
directive principle in my life and to be as effective as I can be within this
life. <br />
<br />
I must STOP existing in a state of trauma/victimization and GET up, for and as myself. Enough denying and suppressing, we must all stop traumatizing and dramatizing our lives, we must look into the blind spots, admit them, forgive them, see them, take self-responsibility and walk clear as ourselves. <br />
<br />
More to come on MY trauma </div>
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-42908943117987073562020-03-01T06:45:00.000+02:002020-03-01T06:45:23.074+02:00Misunderstood Living - Self Forgiveness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2rvhVF9K2y8uIK_vOwqTt-gXxMXEWDRXBNUANPugxRlA7Dp3p3rElUw_KYgXQl_cTrc7iYXZaaL0utLF473AIO6FkLQKBuQ3I6HG-JcPqAi_b901g2nBniLgC7t04L8e2h0tBK-dwxE/s1600/87851784_10157906333122350_8561801241951207424_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1325" data-original-width="1440" height="587" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2rvhVF9K2y8uIK_vOwqTt-gXxMXEWDRXBNUANPugxRlA7Dp3p3rElUw_KYgXQl_cTrc7iYXZaaL0utLF473AIO6FkLQKBuQ3I6HG-JcPqAi_b901g2nBniLgC7t04L8e2h0tBK-dwxE/s640/87851784_10157906333122350_8561801241951207424_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
communicate with myself in such a way that I misunderstand myself, without
taking a moment to breathe and be clear within myself and the communication I
have with myself to be clear and direct as an expression of me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
when and as I communicate with myself to fall for the emotions/feelings and
thoughts that come up within me and to follow them, instead of sticking to what
is truly within me as my self-expression and clarifying that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take the easy way out by following the thoughts/feelings and emotions that come
up within me, to take them and communicate them, instead of taking a moment to
stop the thoughts/feelings and emotions and to see what they are trying to hide
form me, my true expression and to find words to place with my expression and
live that, seeing and realizing that the mind as me fear expressing myself
truly as it is unknown, different and much deeper on a substance level. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I must be ready in any given moment to respond and communicate as
a way of defending myself, my ego, to show that I do know, I know myself, I can
speak instantly and at will, I do not need to look at anything before speaking,
and so implying in the moment that I am already right, not taking the time to
see all the dimensions, to see who I am within all the dimensions that are here
and to place me within consideration of all dimensions that is here as my
expression and see what I will say and do as the path forward that is best for
all as myself. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when
and as I experience fear/anxiety/nervousness to go into instant speaking as a
way of hiding the fear/anxiety/nervousness, instead of slowing down, taking a
breath, forgive myself and look inside to myself (not the thoughts/feelings/emotions)
as my expression and who I am and thus what I want to express truly as me as
all dimensions considered in the moment, to bring out my true utmost potential
as life as expression one and equal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear losing in a conversation, to fear taking too much time, to fear missing
the window for me to speak, and so go into speaking without checking, without
placing the words correctly first as who I am, so that my words reflect me one
and equal inside and out, and so to stop cycles of regret. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized how I
have throughout my life only ever spoken from thoughts/feelings and emotions
and never truly considered where they come from, why they show up and how they
work, yet I spoke them and acted on them, and so in return created a reality
for myself of always feeling and being misunderstood. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
blame others for misunderstanding me, for not hearing me, for not seeing me,
never considering that I have a world of my own within me, based on how I was
raised and brought up within the education system, and this world within me is
limited to the vocabulary I was taught/given and so the same for every other
being on this planet, and thus when I communicate from my thoughts/feelings and
emotions I am in a position assuming that everyone else have those
thoughts/feelings and emotions the same within them as me, and thus that they
must simply understand me and I do not have to be specific or take the time to
specify myself, and so create more conflict and distance and feeling like I am
all alone within my world when I communicate with others. Seeing and realizing
that it is my responsibility to be clear on my inner world, to know myself
truly and to place the words with me as my expression to express myself one and
equal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be to lazy to specify myself. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that laziness is self-judgement, and so exposing myself within
the point of change, that I simply judge myself as not being able to change, or
that it isn’t possible, so I go into laziness to sit in self-judgement and do
nothing about what I clearly know needs to change. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that my expression within me must simply come from me naturally and
that everyone and everything must simply get me, accept me as I am, knowing that
what I am expression without specifying it, clarifying it for myself in thought
word and deed, that I am not even accepting myself and getting to know myself for
real, or creating myself for real for when I find something is needed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
expect others to change before I can change, seeing and realizing that I will
wait forever, and thus such though is but a point of postponement and
justification for not taking the time to change myself for myself first and
foremost. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that when I feel misunderstood, and when I am misunderstood
and I become emotional about it, that I am revealing only to myself that I do
not actually yet understand me, and so I can not go into blaming others for not
understanding me, as I myself need to first understand myself to be able to
fully express myself in clarity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that emotional responses/communication is an indication of
lacking self-clarification within myself, and not about what I am reacting to
about others/things within this world. Thus I see and realize that when I have
a reaction, emotional or feeling where an energy takes over my thoughts and
thinking and I want to respond with that to another or about things, That the
emotion/feeling is a contamination that took the place of self-clarification,
and so I must remove the contamination through clarifying myself with words, as
to align my thought and words with my deeds as a living expression of me, and
not a reactive responsive expression with no actual standing/foundation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
make everyone and everything else a problem, how people react to me, what they
say to me as them being at fault to the things I say from thoughts/feelings/emotions,
not seeing and realizing that the responses are in fact proper responses, as a
thought/feeling/emotion will only bring more of the same, and thus no clarity,
simply energy bouncing around creating friction in a fiction of minds
communicating. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a character/personality of myself that I define myself as, as who I am,
from the thoughts/feeling and emotions I have, as a way to justify why I am not
specified, why I do not actually know myself, why I have not taken the time to
take what is within me and clarify me within all that is within me and outside
of me as to know myself as an actual being and not just a personality disorder
of thoughts/feelings and emotions that react to life and living, but rather be
the directive principle and living example of what it means to be ones utmost
potential and so create a world that is best for all as self where all
personality disorders end and each being lives in clarity of who they are and where
nothing can manipulate, deceive and justify anything, especially ourselves,
thus creating a world that is best for all as who I am, who we are, being the
living word. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
NOT see and realize that what ever my GOOD intentions may be, if I am not clear
within me, self-specified within my words/worlds that my intentions will never
manifest one and equal, as my living and words will always come out much
different then the intentions I have/had as I myself do not even know how and
what to live to manifest my own intentions, as I exist as randomness within me,
randomness will manifest outside of me, and no intention can find its way within
such an environment to manifest as the intention, and so I see and realize that
as long as I do not specify myself, place words to my expression and living in
details, clarifying myself in each breath and moment, that I am always within
the intention to deceive/manipulate and justify myself and nothing else. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself
to see and realize that I must change myself, specify my self-expression within
what is best for all, all ways, as this is the only way to actually specify, as
all life, and not within self-interest, as that is only self-fish from the
point of not expanding self to all life as who I am, and so the only
specification that can exist is that which is always within what is best for
all life and so me as my best version of myself in living and communication
with myself and others where my words are always within consideration of all
dimensions that exist here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More to come…. </div>
</div>
Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-88241819849911762872019-10-11T02:55:00.000+02:002019-10-11T02:55:53.686+02:00A N G E R <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFisCierK0w97r6sbAe-14SZ8ElHHtDlF6jaIpwnleCqbFvHkHTi6BhqXm-Eoz9siHEJ2dwZv7MGeU56atSMZSGe8fUfD8SZ7IFntpIwRrhb_d7rFVb2an3ebbkX6Elu7r8jEy0xmG2Ok/s1600/502018140_univ_lsr_xl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFisCierK0w97r6sbAe-14SZ8ElHHtDlF6jaIpwnleCqbFvHkHTi6BhqXm-Eoz9siHEJ2dwZv7MGeU56atSMZSGe8fUfD8SZ7IFntpIwRrhb_d7rFVb2an3ebbkX6Elu7r8jEy0xmG2Ok/s640/502018140_univ_lsr_xl.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
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</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to always be angry.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed anger to be my driving force. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that Anger gives me power. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require the EMOTION of anger to
make my points.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe that I will not be heard if I do not speak with
anger.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to fear someone attacking me with words and so Use
ager to try and push others away from attacking me, to win immediately. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am powerless without emotion.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to use anger as a way of attacking and defending
myself all at once. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am defined by my angry way or
approaching things. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that anger equal passion. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to confuse making a point with having to be and
sound angry. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must force everything I say and
force what I want to be heard through using anger.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have not
accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have become addicted to
anger as a way to drive myself, where I now react to myself reacting every time
something is said or done in anger and so lose myself completely in emotions. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that ANGER as emotion is valid as it
seems upstanding, it seems like a force to be reckoned with, when in fact I
know it has become my weakness, where anger consumes me and I can not see
straight, communicate straight or have proper conversations anymore. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to get DRUNK on the emotion of anger, fear and
stress. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that the anger that comes up within me
is ME, and so have created a relationship with anger where I now can not stop
it unless I retract myself and isolate myself for a long while to release it as
a consequence. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to live in a constant state of anger which then
turns into a state of misery, where I am miserable with myself as I can not
communicate properly anymore, interact with my environment properly anymore,
where I have become a separate part of reality due to being so sensitive to be
triggered. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to GIVE away my true power, the power to be here in
silence through selling myself out to a false power such as emotion as ANGER
that only creates an entity over time and so consume me. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel the slightest point of threat
in my reality, especially towards the things I deep important and valuable, to
go into a happy trigger mode within myself of anger, building up anger and all
the back chat that goes with it, till I am a loaded gun that is ready to fire,
and so when I do fire I miss, as the energy like lightning is unpredictable. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control the energy of anger,
only to be shown that the mind knows me best and will use me against me as long
as I believe I can play with the devil, instead of stopping and breathing and
thus giving myself true power, the power and freedom from emotions/feelings/thoughts. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to be very self-conscious where my awareness of me
turns against me, as my awareness of me as thoughts, as feelings and emotions
are not an awareness of me, but of the mind, and so I am not aware of e as
breathe and only the mind as energy which then turns against me in any moment
to generate energy, to take everything personal and make everything personal,
which results in anger towards myself for not stopping and breathing and so
taking it out on the world as frustration and irritation of my own
self-consciousness that turns into insecurities. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I perceive someone else to be
doing something wrong. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I perceive myself doing something
wrong. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I believe someone else is doing
something I would NEVER do as a way to defend myself. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use anger to hide
behind the anxiety I am experiencing.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by
replacing one emotion such as anxiety with anger that I am solving the problem
within me. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is
a problem within me and so go into emotions fighting an invisible problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a
problem.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a
problem as who I am.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of
being a problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself a
problem, to make what I express and want to do a problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in
the fear of being a problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use anger as a way to
become a problem for others as to avoid the topic of discussion from being a
problem. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any
anger, no reactions and to simply express myself direct here in calmness,
silence and slow movement. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and so
use anger to hide myself. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have not seen and realized that everything I become
through participating in anger is the very things that fuck up everything I
express and for it to not have success. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dis-empower myself
with anger.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dis-empower myself
through going into emotion or being in emotion. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize
that the very things I believe I must participate within that I believe will
make me strong is exactly what makes me weak and not capable of doing anything. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must
be a certain way, act a certain way and always respond in a certain way,
instead of being here as breath as me in my body relaxed, genuine and real. </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must
have a response, a reaction to what ever people say or do around me as to show
that I a interacting, I am here and that I am participating, yet always
compromise myself by following these thing as they generate energy, emotion and
is a form of manipulation and putting on a fake face. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being enough
as I am in breathe and that I must be more, have more to say, have responses
that are deep and emotional to be taken seriously, and so compromise my actual
words and expression of simplicity, no polarity and me direct here with full
confidence as who I am, where I leave or have no trail of emotion, only clarity
as here as breathe as me living my utmost potential. </span></div>
</div>
Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-55558594096164424552019-09-22T18:56:00.003+02:002019-09-22T18:56:48.320+02:00look inside to self for guidance - Can I Trust Myself? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be silent always - take a breath before you speak,<br />look inside to self for guidance - find your way to self-expression -</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">never bind it to another, but to ALL for self-realization</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">then support yourself in your choice</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">don't justify</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I find the choices I made that I could not explain, guided me the most clearly,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">because I only understood in retrospect - yet I had to overcome fear and</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">justification - because fear and justification wanted to explain</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">my choice to me - our expression is in risking our Knowledge</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Knowledge Enslaves</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-- Bernard Poolman -</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Look inside to self for guidance, This sentence is specific in the wording, I had to within reading this sentence itself slow down to really grasp it, it says LOOK inside TO self..... For Guidance. Read it slowly, it does not say THINK or have thoughts, or back chat and self-talking, it says LOOK, looking TO self, not into, TO. Thus seeing self, and when I look TO myself I find myself focused on my chest area and breathing, I find that space of silence and I SEE, not think, not project, I see what is HERE as me, as who I am, it is silent and so a seeing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What am I seeing? when I look, can I trust myself, how do I live that trust, how do I stand by that self-trust to what is here? when all I have ever known is the mind, thinking, back chat, my feelings and emotions that are located just below my chest that I so easily confuse with ME/Self and respond to as if it is who I am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Silence is Key, the key to silence is to BREATHE and give self that moment to slow down, actually Look to self/me for guidance, give that space, the mind wants to be quick and jumpy, it wants to give answers NOW backed by energy, emotion, back-chat and all the shit going on within the mind and manifested in the body as the mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Self-Trust</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not standing independently owning all my choices and taking full responsibility for everything in my life, as to avoid having to direct my movement forward in self-responsibility and consideration of my self-expression. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself to not owning my current position and location, for avoiding who I am in the here moment as me, as to avoid the self-dishonesty I live within, to avoid having to take a real step forward as correction that is best for me within this process, within who and what I stand as within my principles, to move myself as my self-expression within that forward and to direct myself from that starting point to be as effective and efficient as I can be in a natural way as who I am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for believing that in a moment of conflict/discord or normal conversation that I cannot be silent, that I cannot look to self for guidance, that there is no time, and so go into the mind and respond based on the rush of emotions and energy that is there, and so lose self-expression and self-honesty and never actually dealing with what is here and always moving past reality and creating cycles, thus not establishing self-trust.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when two opposing views collide, come together in conversation on any topic, that I must collide, I must bash, I must go into defense mode, justification mode, and so go into fear mode, where I believe that as long as I can not explain myself in detail within my expression that I will lose and so must use energy to win through using justification, words charged with the past and situations long gone, and so always end up losing within myself as I never got to actually in fact express me and what is here, as I only expressed the mind and so moved back in time, not forward, and miss any self-support in my own choices. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for fearing supporting myself in my self-expression in my choices. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not valuing myself as life as who I am and trusting myself within my self-expression, and so not support myself or anyone else effectively. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not trusting myself and my direction/choices as I believe myself as being less than others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for believing that I am less than others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not trusting myself and my choices for seeing how I look at things as much different than how others look at things, and so have created a judgment of how I see/look at things as being the wrong way, the less responsible way, when I have proven to myself each time I have supported me in my choices that I grow, expand and succeed, as I can and am putting myself into my choices and way of seeing/looking at things fully, which counts works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not having embraced the unknown as a reality within expressing self and that expressing self is an act of self-trust as it is moving into the unknown, and thus there cannot be justifications to be given and so self-trust to make a choice and live it fully is the only way forward without knowing and not fearing, as it isn't needed because I have myself and my self-trust which stands in every breath, living within my principles and standing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for not trusting my SEEING as my inner guidance from myself to what is possible and living it as my self-expression as who I am, and rather give into fears, justifications of the mind that leads to stagnation and condemnation. <br /><br />Reality check points. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for giving into the mind as supression, when the mind brings up years of supression in a moment where the mind will project imaginary realities of possibilities if ONLY I do this or that thing, go there or be there, and so create a depressing reality out of the current reality that is here, to generate a despair within me as to rush out of the current reality into the given one in my mind though the mind from years of self expression supression and so go into more supression and regrets and back chat, instead of seeing and realizing stop the mind, breathe, be here and direct self as self-expression within what is here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I forgive myself for wanting to justify correction through and after realizing years of supression built up within me and what is here currently, through making big actions as to get back what I have not done, seeing and realizing that this is also fear and thus not a solution and a disconnect with relaity as it is, and so I slow down, I look to self for guidance, I support my self-expression herewithin what is here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The End</span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-35380260433071742962019-09-22T16:22:00.000+02:002019-09-22T17:30:40.844+02:00Our Expression Is In Risking Our Knowledge - Fears<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8c0y52K6eD1Yn7JxIe7AzvyYB8Xf1QaUKikwVrHI_ZytHvkh4wFzNZ3PRiwfs0YG1xrsf6-nEjZZYAZZ3M4ZdkNPCmTljympcnHm1aZ4a8en60I_xmCcNg_5_b89wPaSuQZQTfx_tY3I/s1600/reincarnation-2-1050x613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="613" data-original-width="1050" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8c0y52K6eD1Yn7JxIe7AzvyYB8Xf1QaUKikwVrHI_ZytHvkh4wFzNZ3PRiwfs0YG1xrsf6-nEjZZYAZZ3M4ZdkNPCmTljympcnHm1aZ4a8en60I_xmCcNg_5_b89wPaSuQZQTfx_tY3I/s640/reincarnation-2-1050x613.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Be silent always - take a breath before you speak,<br />
look inside to self for guidance - find your way to self expression -</div>
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never bind it to another, but to ALL for self realization</div>
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then support yourself in your choice</div>
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don't justify</div>
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I find the choices I made that I could not explain, guided me the most clearly,</div>
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because I only understood in retrospect - yet I had to overcome fear and</div>
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justification - because fear and justification wanted to explain</div>
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my choice to me - our expression is in risking our Knowledge</div>
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Knowledge Enslaves</div>
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-- Bernard Poolman -</div>
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I am going to keep using this Quote of Bernard as my guide, as I see I still want to go into the mind with knowledge as justifications, fears, of expressing myself, and I never seem to actually support myself in my own choices. I always want others to support me, have their concent and approval. </div>
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How the fuck am I ever going to change myself, not to mention the world if I keep holding onto fear and justifications for my choices, I was looking at ME expressing myself, what comes naturally to me, and what has come naturally to me since starting this process with Desteni, the tools, applying the tools, forgiving myself, and walking within principle, understanding the mind. I see that I have suppressed and denied myself what comes naturally to me, I have made my choices second for others, so seeing this, I see I am the one responsible absolutely, and no one else.</div>
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The fears are. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR losing people, creating friction with people if I express myself, specifically in a way where what I express or do seems pointless, where what I express comes from self-movement that is HERE and not as knowledge or information that can be used to justify and reason any movement, which I understand people want, as that creates security for them to KNOW. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself half-hearted to not disrupt others around me, to speak my truth of what is HERE and to move me as what is HERE, not as the mind as justification and fear, moving beyond fear. </div>
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I forgive myself for fearing that if I dare to express myself, to move myself as who I am and what comes naturally to me through walking this process and living within the principles of and as this process to stop the mind and rebirth self as life, that I will fuck up and make mistakes that others will use against me as fear and justification to show me how wrong I was, YET seeing and realizing that, that is okay, That is their points, I must stay true to myself in this process for myself, no one gives a fuck when I die, so I better give a fuck.</div>
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I forgive myself for not seeing and realizing that I actually only fear myself living fearless and morality free and so each time I see direction that is here within my expression of what I need to direct and move, not fully understanding it myself, just knowing I have to, as who I am within walking within my principles and process, I go into fear of myself, and so to hide from myself I used my environment and others as reasons as justifications to why I can not express myself, to abdicate my self-responsibility as to make myself a slave that has apparently no choice, and so diminish myself and manifest msyelf as fear. </div>
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I forgive myself for FEARING the system and limiting msyelf to the system that exist here as being the cause for me to NOT express myself, move myself as my self-expression as what is here as who I am within my process, where I will use MONEY and circumstances as FEAR generators to not move, to not be truthful to myself as what is here and deny what is here as self-expression. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have not seen and realized that making decision in self-expression and supporting msyelf within my decision through looking inwards to msyelf for guidance, does not mean I move forward blindly, it means I am not using the past as knowledge/justification and fear to hold me back from my movement forward as my potential as who I am here, and as long as I do not move forward as my potential here as the truth of me, I am enslaving myself to the mind. </div>
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I forgive myself for NOT seeing and realizing that Choosing to move as my self-expression is me choosing LIFE and not fear, it isn't choosing self-interest, as fear and justification comes from the mind as self-interest. </div>
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I forgive myself for making MONEY and fear of MONEY, not having enough money, not knowing how I am going to make money if I chose to live my self-expression a Justification and FEAR and so a disguised reason of "keeping it practical" to not move at all, just keep it safe as justification and fear, and so not do anything in expression, and so choosing to support the mind instead of risking KNOWLEDGE for my self-expression, which will be an act of forgiveness/honour and respect for myself that will manifest as who I am within consideration of eternity, not just this one life here. </div>
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I forgive myself for doubting my self-expression and so sell myself out for knowledge, fear, and justification.</div>
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I forgive myself for doubting myself as who I am within expressing myself, for NOT seeing and realizing that moving within self-expression opens up doors, possibilities and growth of self and this world, as proven time and time again when we do what is HERE as our expressions then it is easy, natural to move and direct self and reality, when we choose knowledge as fear and justification as the past, we only create the past and nothing moves and the mind survives. </div>
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I forgive myself for not seeing and realizing that I become very reactive and taking things personal when I have dishonored myself in my self-expression for selling myself out for knowledge, fear and justifications, as I am then living in self-dishonesty, as I have bound my choices to others and start blaming others, rejecting others, and seeing others as enemies, thus abdicating my responsibility and taking my anger for my self-dishonesty out on my environment as an outflow of self-dishonesty.</div>
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The End</div>
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-39202996845723564402019-09-22T05:30:00.001+02:002019-09-22T05:30:51.394+02:00Choices, Justifications and Fear. Can I express myself Truly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSb_FDI_JIJgcMsz0boqKlN7yg32TRZDAhbgIscNsLXtDfkXoUVZFwYb6cN721nIfVRVfvgIjzbTP5na-354P11GI8ROZElg8SXpgUY02XRIVudJDP6gdzQ3gmme6RlvVHVzCxgQ4h3IU/s1600/40228926_2030974090292902_1365981504877887488_n%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="940" height="536" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSb_FDI_JIJgcMsz0boqKlN7yg32TRZDAhbgIscNsLXtDfkXoUVZFwYb6cN721nIfVRVfvgIjzbTP5na-354P11GI8ROZElg8SXpgUY02XRIVudJDP6gdzQ3gmme6RlvVHVzCxgQ4h3IU/s640/40228926_2030974090292902_1365981504877887488_n%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I forgive myself for wanting to justify myself in my self-expression.</div>
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I forgive myself for always binding my self-expression to others, to reasons and justifications of why and what and how I want to do things, knowing that like a child I simply want to express, I yet do not have the words to justify myself, and I should not regardless, all I do know is I must express myself. </div>
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I forgive myself for BINDING everything I want to do or am doing to others, and so create blame and anger towards others as not agreeing with me, not giving me space, not allowing me to make certain choices.</div>
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I forgive myself for denying myself my self-expression, the choices I want to make but am not as I can not find reasons to why I want to specifically make certain decisions and live in the expectation that I must be able to explain myself before I can make any decisions and so never make real decisions, decisions that support me in my expression and self-realization. </div>
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I forgive myself for FEARING that if I can not in detail give good reasons as justifications to why I want to make certain decisions that I know I want to express, yet not knowing how or why, that I will hurt others and disappoint others in my decisions, as I bind my decisions totally and completely to others as being a slave for others, and so not express me, not live me foolishly and letting go of fear and justification, yet always living within principle to live what is best for all, and what is best for all is to not live in fear and justification. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have made my mind SOO BUSY with back chat and inner battles of my own voices through conjuring up reasons as justification to present to others as why I want to and have made certain decisions in my life, when the fact is I have NO reasons for decisions I have made or want to make, it is here and the points are here, I express me. </div>
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I forgive myself for judging myself for having choices/decisions within me that I can not explain, they are here and I know I must live them, I must go with it, and as long as I do not I am basically killing myself slowly but surely, as I am living in fear and justification and not as breathe as me as expression which is self-dishonest and so dishonest to all those around me. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have placed a morality on what I can express, live, and what I can not base on how I have built reasons and justifications in my mind bound to others and their possible moralities, fears or ways and choices, and so fear to make my own choices and disrupting others choices. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not set myself free within this process through owning up to choices I want to make and to follow through with them and express me, as I see I have actually directive power in moving and directing myself in choices within expression and NO power in living in justification and fear, and thus as long as I hold myself back in fear and justification I will always remain powerless, even within my own expression as who I am here one and equal. </div>
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I forgive myself for not giving myself the space to make choices within self-expression<br /><br />I forgive myself for not giving myself my authority to simply make a choice and stick to it without justification or it being bound to someone or something else and owning up to my choice and living fearless, blameless, back chat free. </div>
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I forgive myself that I have a NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize that I still see a lot in this world from a retrospect position, and there is nothing wrong withing making simple choices without reason as justifications and fear guiding my decisions, but rather me as my expression as what is best for all within self-realization. <br /><br />I forgive myself for hoarding and collecting and spinning tons and tons of knowledge and information around in my mind as my back chat trying to build up stories and reasons and justification to why I have a choice within me and wanting to live that choice, as to first have this CASE that I can present to the court as to get a jury on my side to agree if I can be free or be sentenced to life in prison, instead of simply standing within a choice I have and living it, and even if people want reasons and answers and justifications, to not give into fear and justification but to rather stand by expression and sharing my expression in doing so. </div>
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I forgive myself for not moving myself as self-expression within what I stand within as what is best for all, and so move myself accordingly within what is here as my self-expression as what is best for me, as that is best for all, me at my best, and so move me, not bound to others as justification or fear. </div>
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I forgive myself for holding myself back through not having any justifications or fear of the choices I make or want to make, but rather give into the fears of what others will think and so go into hyper mode of looking for justifications to ease their minds and get them to agree, which never works and will not work and is robbing all from realizing their own points by playing a mind games. </div>
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The End </div>
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-36816219984537367372019-09-06T16:14:00.001+02:002019-09-06T16:15:13.163+02:00Amazon and Africa Burning – Sickness and headaches <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7gSyaZovveVjDdiYALr_6c0sC6i2ZoGAGJWen_Wx65QbnCpw9oMwcYD6EzcNbRg2-VHUbwJ36D2hHgGZ689NUb1qUACyC7C3cJG6lfyEhifoU4kVFnopJkgfixXDPXkgXe2eDpWrg14/s1600/Cover-for-Amazon-rainforest.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="700" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7gSyaZovveVjDdiYALr_6c0sC6i2ZoGAGJWen_Wx65QbnCpw9oMwcYD6EzcNbRg2-VHUbwJ36D2hHgGZ689NUb1qUACyC7C3cJG6lfyEhifoU4kVFnopJkgfixXDPXkgXe2eDpWrg14/s640/Cover-for-Amazon-rainforest.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I have been a bit sick for the past three days, with a saw throat, a slight headache and some throat pains and many body pains all over. At first, I thought it was just the seasons changing here in Panama, but then I came across another video today where the whole Burning of the Amazon is shown when I saw this my headache increased and my eyes hurt. </div>
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I then looked back the days before I was sickish (I am not sick like laying in bed and cannot move) I saw that in the days before I was watching headlines of the Amazon burning and then Africa and how I was within seeing all of this, who I was. For those of you that know me, and this was a hectic storm in my mind of thoughts and emotions and played a big part in my sickness now, Nature and Animals are my thing (another self-belief to deal with as an emotional stance instead of physical) – check out <a href="https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven">https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven</a> where we are now in the process of immigrating to Panama and then looking for a new location to run our operations from. It is moving slowly as we have not yet completely got our residence here, and no work permits, etc. it is in the process. </div>
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Self-forgiveness</div>
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I forgive myself for going into an emotional reaction of despair and anger seeing videos and footage of the Amazon and Africa burning.</div>
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I forgive myself for going into an emotional reaction of RAGE towards the money system and the humans on earth where I just want to say fuck it all, let us fuck ourselves up and get it done with, as a form of spite <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and easy way to not have to take responsibility for what is here as ourselves and this planet.</div>
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I forgive myself for going into an emotional reaction towards myself as feeling powerless, feeling like I fucked up, I did not do my best, I am too late and so go into blaming everyone else who did not do anything as I did and wanting to be spiteful.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I see images and footage of nature and animals as the creatures of the earth being harmed for money and human survival only, to go into a demon possession of rage where I want to simply destroy everything and say fuck it all.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see footage of nature burning down by men plan on this planet for profits and money, to wish for the end of the world of man and to end man and his time on this planet.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to entertain the thoughts and emotions of rage/anger towards other humans where I take the position of assumption in believing that those who are burning the amazon and Africa are pure evil, and so miss the point that they are as I am only wanting to survive and support their families in a system that forces people to be evil as we are all slaves to money and where money is the only thing that can feed a family and so reason and common sense goes out the window as survival is short-sighted and everyone is tuck in survival.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from those who are involved in the burning of the forests and nature around the world and so wish ill and evil onto them and thus onto myself.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that my shortcoming in who I am and thus what I do within this world is the same as most of humanity, where we all want to do something but we never moved ourselves to practically be able and capable, as I am now only able to sit in my house, write a blog and nothing else, I do not have a group that is politically active, or that has any power or say in this reality, no funds that can possibly move a single thing in this world, and so this is what most people will experience and thus feel powerless and useless, thus going to the streets and blaming others and screaming at people to change things is the only option which is a non-effective option and never changes anything, as the real solution is a political and economic change globally.</div>
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I forgive myself for when and as I see footage of the Amazon burning and Africa, to go into the mindset and emotional state of it is too late, we are fucked and doomed.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me and us as this life on earth to be fucked and doomed and too late.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fight the consequences and wish for the consequences to not be real, to not manifest, and so I fight with myself in my mind and with my emotions as I am attempting to fight reality and how things actually work in reality in oneness and equality where we will be one and equal to ourselves and collectively and there is nothing that can stop that no matter how emotional I become, I have to stop and breathe and work with what is here as reality even when reality changes drastically.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the suffering and consequences that the animals and plants and other people are going through as I know what is being done onto others will be done onto self as it is to give and so receive, and what is accepted and allowed for one part of life is accepted and allowed for all other parts of life.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in separation of pain and suffering and destruction and so fear it, instead of standing equal and one t it, as who I am as life, where I do not stand in the way of what is needed in oneness and equality for life to be rebirthed but rather with and like it and not to judge what is happening, to stand as who I am to breathe and direct me as best as I can in each breath with what is here practically.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am changing anything about the fired and destruction of nature and all the animals through being emotional about it, to be angry and enraged and overthinking and fearing for what happening, and as I can see all I am doing it harming myself and making myself ineffective through getting sick and headaches.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if I did not have internet or computers or any modern tech, I would never have known the Amazon is burning or Africa and so what is real to me? Not to use this reasoning as to not be updated but simply showing that I can be stable and here within it all.</div>
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I commit myself to stop the thoughts, feelings and emotions within me through focusing on my breathing and being here, even when I see nature burning down on videos and earth being raped and killed, as I know that I can not do a single thing at this moment and need to keep moving me, keep standing, keep being here and not compromise me to become ineffective and useless through harming my body with HIGH emotions and thoughts that harm the body.</div>
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I commit myself to keep pushing the points I stand by this life and to not fall for the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and if I do to write, to forgive to change to purify me here as all as one and equals to stand clear, even if the world ends, we are still here and we still need to deal with ourselves and what is here.</div>
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6757410593459907401.post-77826149954905400552019-07-21T16:09:00.000+02:002019-07-21T16:25:41.172+02:00Self Crucification, Watch Out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhck9r-xoaqVDA8x-eRL-tZiKNhZZzTAJ2QmP-WWm8jHjMNjxddUW1_ZZLwwYrfSu3Q9ej8XnuEGnbmR-gFWpravnKfahiR3l60Bt1kZ_dfvgOXa9SOUVTCz0qlPfh6QQ95BLLA8bE2rpA/s1600/crossing.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="635" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhck9r-xoaqVDA8x-eRL-tZiKNhZZzTAJ2QmP-WWm8jHjMNjxddUW1_ZZLwwYrfSu3Q9ej8XnuEGnbmR-gFWpravnKfahiR3l60Bt1kZ_dfvgOXa9SOUVTCz0qlPfh6QQ95BLLA8bE2rpA/s640/crossing.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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This blog has some cool points in general for someone not familiar with Desteni, I write this blog mostly for the community I am within and those to come to our community of Destonians. So if you are not familiar, please take a look at desteni.org - as this blog is process specific and for those that have done their research and work for years within Desteni to come to the point of self-honest investigation and self into me I see.<br />
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Jesus was amazing in being and living the word as who he is in expression when he was here on earth. He demonstrated not only in his words and living the way forward for life/humanity but he also showed us that anyone can do it, stand as life, as we are all the same, from the same substance, equal and one, and so absolutely responsible for ourselves and what is here on earth.<br />
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Jesus as amazing as he was, and still he did not get it fully (so yes, you can stand as expression of life and still fuckup and even more enhances the problem), to the full extent of what is here as this existence, the mind/consciousness and most of all self-honesty, and neither do I yet, but it is clear for all to see that Jesus showed us who we are as life, and he at the same time showed us how FUCKED we are, we can literally have a GOD walk among us as an example of WHO WE ARE and we will Crucify that god for doing so. This is the one point where Jesus fell, being crucified instead of pushing through all the way as much as possible, it was his (personal) downfall, yet for us all, it was a gift still to show us the extent of the problem that is here if we dare see.<br />
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How easy is it to fall for the idea in our heads of rather sacrificing ourselves for others and hoping they would make it, they would get it, and give up on ourselves personally to transcend and rebirth as life one and equal as life here? it is very easy, because it is nice to think that if I sacrifice myself and give up on myself but not others, then they will make it, YET what I do know is, people follow by example, so in the end we have everyone sacrificing themselves for others and no one making it, because no one is pushing all the way through, breathing, self-forgiveness, living and walking brutal self honesty within a specific principle of what is best for all life, standing up and changing self and so effect the world in ways unthinkable to the mind. I mean, Jesus' time was two thousand years ago, and in that time no one has stood up as he hoped fro crucifying himself.<br />
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Have you crossed that path in your life? as the gross of Jesus symbolizes, the cross roads, where you either crucify yourself, give yourself up, give up on yourself due to reasons such as age, time, commitments, "responsibilities", stress, fears, insecurities, ideas and believes or plain out just not caring anymore and just want to be happy in an illusion till death pops that bubble?, OR where you climb off the cross as the BURDENS you belief you carry, lay them down and say, NO, I do not accept and allow the MIND as the cross to burden me, I stay with my feet on the ground and walk the path until it is done? This is a point everyone needs to and will face in their life, unexpectedly, subtly, or quit openly/direct, and a decision will have to be made, and once a person faces this point and decides to walk instead of crucifying themselves, it becomes a path that can only be walked in-breath, or the cross is simply lifted and carried again till an appropriate spot is found for it to crucify self on it, give up on self.<br />
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In our heads it can sound so nice when we tell ourselves that "I will sacrifice/crucify myself" for the sake of my family, children, or for others to have a chance this life, and we really sell it to ourselves to justify our actual FEAR of really facing the self-honesty of what exists here and how fucked we truly are within and without of what is HERE accepted and allowed as LIFE. It is truly a difficult path, and if Jesus could not make it, then how can I? take a look at how hard christianity sells the idea that Jesus is still alive, somewhere on a cloud, and they do this because they must have HOPE. but inside everyone really knows he is dead and did not make it, because he isn't here now in his flesh as they say. We all can see that. and thus we all know deep inside, fuck, if Jesus could not make it, how can I? and what does the path then truly entail.<br />
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Luckily Desteni is here to give clarity on this path for all, and the message, the educational material, and most of all the tools to walk this path, and Bernard who walked as an example to show. But, what can we learn from ourselves, even when a support structure such as Desteni is HERE, giving the process and the way on a plate for all to see, to walk and to live, it still seems no one is making it. have you made it? I have not yet made it..<br />
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Especially, when we look at ourselves, and we have had these tools and all the information that is needed 100% for free online, open for all, all given clearly in what is needed, the principles, the message, the understanding, and the tools, we find ourselves falling and failing and crawling and struggling and giving up on a yearly, monthly, weekly basis for the smallest challenges, obstacles, reasons and 99% they are mind related, not real. This creates the desire for a cross for oneself, even more, to rather pick that cross up and carry it, find a spot for it and place ourselves on it, and then hope that this suicidal crucification will somehow symbolize to our children, friends, peers HOPE!! that they can do it, but rather it is in return symbolizing we are fucked, gave up, and not what you think or want it to be. I mean a cross is a torturing device that kills someone slowly with crows picking out your eyes.<br />
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A self crucification can come in many forms, it mostly will symbolize in either two polarities, one of negativity or one of positivity in how we present our self crucification to others, to still create the Illusion of it being good, or meaningfull, just like what religion is doing to Jesus crucification and how it becomes a massive selling point, we sell our crucification to others, as if giving hope to others to keep moving on, keep pushing on, is all that is needed, but we ourselves are unwilling, we would rather parade around looking happy, or saticfied with ourselves in a world of dispair, or try and demonise everything and everyone instead of really being an example of walking the walk, facing our shit, being real about the shit that is here, walk a very specific process of educatio, and using tools of writing, self-forgiveness, corrective statements, sharing that openly where it is supportive and best for all, being very specific with a principle we live by and stand by, and so become a living example of change is HERE, not in a hope, not in our children, not in others, in ourselves, and so self crucification is a made up fantasy of change, a self-rightcious approach to change.<br />
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I have found and identified the point for me that indicated I am carrying my cross and readying myself for self-crucification within this process, and so I use these markers to check myself, as picking up the cross/mind is subtle, it is self-deceptive, it is cunning, it is planned in a manner that seems like it isn't a crucification.<br />
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These points are as follows, and they are real and physical.<br />
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- I stop writing, personal writing, or blogs..<br />
- I do not speak my written self-forgiveness to myself.<br />
- I stop listening to Desteni interviews, recording and forget about them<br />
- I stop reading and educating myself, and clarifying for myself information that is available on the Desteni Website and only consume bullshit elsewhere leading to only knowledge and information that satisfy a conspiracy, a feeling, an energy that restarts by the engine of the mind and nothing else, feeding personalities and characters.<br />
- I stop participating in group events, chats, forums, making videos/vlogs, sharing my process in the channels available such as FB, not being visible for cross-referencing. as the cross is then already planted for me to hang on, not in sight for others to see my action of self0crucification coming.<br />
- I more and more lean to do things of entertainment rather than my process.<br />
- Process is last on my list to give attention, instead of it being my living and sharing and fist priority as who I am as life.<br />
- making money and relationships a focus point as an excuse to why I am not yet getting to my process.<br />
- Concerned about what others think more and more and so retract myself from expressing myself.<br />
- Making my process a burden instead of a living expression of who I am, as the burden indicates there is already a cross on my back, the mind.<br />
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Ok, those are some indicators I use and check out for, priorities, focus on one's process naturally becomes first once the realization of reality and what is here as who we are really sinking in, within the consideration of eternity and all life within it.<br />
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Gian Robbertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12708390549134643021noreply@blogger.com1