Day 133 – Living Commitment – Day 5 of 21.

That first moment when I wake up in the morning, this is the moment I decide the whole day, it is a decision I make in the morning when I wake up – a day filed with thoughts and emotions/feelings or Breath.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up to think about the Day already and to within this create an emotional experience that I connect to the day ahead based on the previous day, realizing that I am within this re-creating the past in the present and the future which includes all the past memories/experiences and thoughts and feelings/emotions and thus I am only living in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up in the past through allowing the first thing I do in the morning to be a rush of thoughts, instead of breathing and being here, where I decide ine ach breath the moment within what is best for all life, where no thoughts feelings or emotions is needed – that only compromise and sabotage my day and my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assassinate my day with a thought in the morning instead of breathing and remaining here as self movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need to have a thought in the morning that creates and energetic experience either as a emotion/negative or a feeling/positive to motivate me to move and get things done that will only lead to more and more feelings/emotions building up as the thoughts accumulate and the back chat is loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake to think about my next move instead of simply breathing and moving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up about the amount of sleep I got in, and to within this accepting and allowing “thought” I accept and allow all thoughts within me and that they may be here, instead of breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I wake up in a certain experience of myself due to a dream I had to give into the experience and to think about it and to wake and walk within and as this experience, realizing that if I do not take self responsibility for and as the experience through breathing through it and to stabilize myself as breathe I have already decided my whole day as the experience of myself in that one moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that ONE thought in the morning will determine my entire day if I do not take self responsibility for the thought as Breath and to stop, as the one thought is like a switch that activates the whole mind consciousness system within me and that over takes the body as energy and that directs my whole day when accepted and allowed as automated, instead of me breathing and taking back me here as the breathe so that I direct my day and who I am and what I do in each breathe as that which is best for all life in all ways within self movement and not as a robot that just got a Mission (thought) programmed into him to act/move/direct a certain way according to how it/I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept the thoughts that I have in the morning and to see them as harmless and that it will pass once I am more awake and into my day, realizing that this is exactly the though pattern that creates the rest of my day, as I participate within my day seeing and hoping that everything will pass later on and I will get through the day in time by itself, and thus I have the belief/idea that I do not have to take self responsibility because it will pass eventually, yet it does not it is actually creating my day and how I experience my day and most of the time it is always the same as the day before, realizing that this is so because of the same pattern/thoughts I accept and allow in the morning, instead of breathing.

I commit myself to when and as I wake up to Breathe through and thoughts/feelings/emotions that is here till I am stable and that I am moving me as breathe in self awareness.

I commit myself to when and as I wake up to not jump out of bed or to crawl out of bed according to how I feel, but to instead – open my eyes and take a deep breath and to keep breathing and from and as the breath to move myself in awareness here as the physical as me the body in full awareness that I am creating my day as how I experience myself and what I accept and allow.

I commit myself to when I wake up to first breathe and to when and as I see any thoughts/memories/projections/beliefs/ideas about the day coming up to forgive myself and to not accept and allow any of those to influence me and my breath where I ma in the eye of the storm in silence and darkness with myself and to Life that which is best for all life as me as the director creating it and to not repeat day after day the same day.

Day 132 – Living Commitment – Day 4 of 21

Continuing from Day 131 day 3 of 21 from this section – 

Quote: “So I learned that Authority has the power to punish you without even explaining in detail what was happening, what is happening and why and why was it asked of me to stop and to sit still, or to not scream, or to not touch a certain thing in the house, this gets taught to me only when I am older and all the damage was already done through the parents reactions/emotions/feelings instead of breathing and directing situations in common sense in real physical support as to what is here in this physical reality, it is not like a baby is born with the knowledge of what everything is. This should be a basic common sense point.” End Quote.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn to accept and allow that Authority has the power to punish without reason and that I must accept it as it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow Authority to Punish and to abuse without having a reason that is within the best interest of all life and that I have within this always just accepted and allowed the world to continue in abuse due to the decisions Authority make in this world even if it is destroying forests and the oceans and killing animals and creating wars, as I have learned to accept and allow that “Authority” knows best and therefore I can “trust” what they are doing even if it is Killing LIFE, as what was taught to me as a child, within the belief that it is for love, that the decisions and actions taken by Authority is done so because the Authority loves me/us and always have our best interest as heart, when in fact it is but only self interest and money that makes the decisions and the only love authority have for me/us is to give them the authority they want/need to do as they please, and this is done easily as long as I/everyone beliefs we are BAD people and deserve to be punished and suffer and that we as the Bad people have no right to speak up, to question and to SAY NO MORE and that we demand change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all people have the belief that they are born into sin, thus the belief that we are all BAD people and have no Right to to do anything but subject and give up and give in and be punished as our daily survival, as survival is based on the Idea that you must fight for your food/roof/water because you are to bad to have it simply given to you in a perfect world system such as the Equal Money System.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and as the belief of myself that I am a bad person and within this belief have the attitude of “I have no right to trust myself, belief in myself, to give a new world to myself that is best for all life” because I am so bad, look at the world, the world is telling me I am so bad all the time, the Media says I am fat the whole time, the Media says I am unhealthy the whole time, the Media says I am not working hard enough the whole time, the Media keeps showing me what I should have had by now if I was a Good Hard working person.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the world is built and kept the way it is because of people that has been brainwashed and educated to belief they are BAD and thus created Broken characters that keeps the Broken world the way it is.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as Long as the Media such as the newspapers and magazines and TV shows me perfect clear pictures and advertisements they are in opposite telling me I am not that and thus a bad person if I have not self respect/honor or integrity to not accept and allow bullshit that is only made to capitalize of the billions through deception/manipulation and mind control through constantly putting in ideas/pictures/opinions into the human mind that was never perfected as a part of life and thus is completely vulnerable to anything those with money wants to do with them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I breathe in awareness as myself as the director breathing I can not process thinking (brainwashing/mind control) and thus as long as I am thinking I must realize that I am busy with brainwashing myself and controlling my mind by myself and participating in the religion of self and that this is all a malfunction of the human robot not being perfected in the first seven years of life to what is here and how everything functions as LIFE and thus can and IS used against you for self interest and profit gain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Breathing is the KEY to stopping all brainwashing and mind control and all of that which isnt me directing and deciding for myself to LIVE as that which is best for all life in ALL ways.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself go into fear and anxiety of Authority to breathe and to stop the thoughts that resonate within me as energy that takes over the body as a resonant possession and to breathe and to bring myself back here and to realize through the breathing that the thoughts is but a creation of myself and that I am the one creating them and thus I can stop them, and to realize that they have no meaning unless I give them meaning as to participate within them and give them power and following them.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am not breathing that I am in fact within thoughts/mind, to stop and in awareness breathe and be here, to breathe and be here, and to breathe and be here and to continue supporting myself with and as Breathe till the thoughts stop, the same way I created them in space and time I will remove/stop them in space and time through breathing, till only breath remains and I am here as self support for myself within re-birthing myself as Life one and equal.

I commit myself to when and as I see/realize I am not breathing -- to within the understanding of – that when I am thinking I am not breathing but in fact only participating within my internal reality as thoughts/feelings/emotions which is me in the process of creating my own fears/anxiety/stress and thus I can within the knowing apply my knowledge practically through stopping the creation of my fear/anxiety/stress by BREATHING, as I have proven to myself that when I breathe in awareness there is no time within me for feelings/emotions/thoughts as I am Focused on breathing and what is really here as the physical.

Day 131 – Living Commitment – Day 3 of 21

This is a continuation of Day 1 of 21 as there was two parts/sections in that blog, I am not continuing form this section, on the Character of “I am always a Bad person” as one of the main characters that I pin pointed within living the commitment of breathing everyday and how this character actually “robs” me of my breathe.

Quote: “This Character activates around people that I have placed in my mind as “authority” and as better than me – as people that always do better.

So when I am for instance working and doing my stuff and a person comes in that I have placed in my mind as authority and they say something I freeze inside myself and I literally stop breathing, I am in complete anticipation of getting yelled at or being told how bad I am or that I am doing something wrong, this character is so intense that I will literally do “Nothing wrong” for months and when someone comes to me and say something that I have judged as authority in my mind – I will within myself stop and beam all of me into the mind – like taking on battle positions. ‘ End Quote.

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the “I am always bad” character when and as I am within the presence of someone I have identified within my mind as an Authority, realizing that because I have identified someone else outside of myself as Authority I will always see myself as less than and as Bad within their eyes as I give away my own Authority to Breath and decide who I am for myself in each breathe, realizing that this is a self judgment I have of myself related to past experiences in relation to “authority”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from others within my mind as Authority, instead of seeing and realizing that those that I place as Authority in my mind is about older people that do have more everything than me and that I can learn from, and I realize this isn’t a point of fear of placing someone as more than me making myself less than, this is simply a point of practicality as the person has authority within what I can learn from them till I stand one and equal as them as that Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative experience to the word Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Fear/emotion to the word Authority and thus every time someone enters my area/space that I have judges as Authority I go into the connections I have made of I must now be in fear, I must now be in a negative experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in the presence of someone that I have judges/identified as Authority within my world to belief that I must now be in fear – realizing that I must simply BREATH and not accept and allow the emotions/feeling or the thoughts to influence me but to breathe through it as me and to release myself from it one and equal as I am the creator of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I must now be within a negative experience of myself when and as someone is within my space that I have judged/identified as Authority within the belief that they have power over me as the negative connection – realizing that I am the only one giving away my authority within such a belief, and that the person is but a support in my world from whom I can learn and this does not make me more or less or a bad person or a good person.

Memory of Authority experience – aged between 3-7

I am playing in the living room – I am doing something – one of my parents ask me to stop, I do not want to - I do not understand why I am just told , don’t, get away, shut up, leave me alone, I am just told to stop. then the parent threatens me with saying – if you do not stop and my partner come home you will have to deal with my partner, I get threatened with words of what might happen. I suddenly stop in the Fear of knowing what that means as a memory activates in that moment of a past experience/event.

the memory is of me not stopping and getting yelled at – when the other parent gets home he/she is told about the event and the words I hear from listening in on the conversation in secret is – he is such a bad kid, he does not listen, he gets on my nerves, he does not stop – I listen on in fear/anxiety within what is said further – He must be punished and he must learn his lesson, you must smack him – the parent comes to me calling my name, I am frightened and Know it is going to happen, I am going to get smacked, as my name is called I start saying – I don’t want to, I start crying and manipulating in my actions to get out of it, the parent does not give in and uses the following words to get me to co-operate – you know I am doing this because I love you, your mother/father said you must stop and you did not, so now I must teach you a lesson, go to the bathroom and close the door and wait for me – I sit in the bathroom awaiting the punishment, the parent went to fetch a Belt to smack me with – I am in fear/anxiety the whole time, the door opens and I am told to turn around – a I turn around I start feeling the leather belt hitting my bum, I get six shots as it is called six of the best. It is done, I am crying and I feel broken, I hate the parent that was the cause of it, not the parent that hit me as I knew - that parent did not want to do it, he/she was told to, just like me.

I am confused with what love means – is love when you hurt someone and beat them up to show them you care? Is love to react and get angry and to then beat the shit out of something till they obey and conform to your ways. Is love when you Harm life because you have some mental issues and need everything else to fit according to your mental problem and doing this is through harming things/others physically, so to love myself I must constantly beat myself up in self hatred and through punishing myself as being bad..

End of Memory.

So I learned that Authority has the power to punish you without even explaining in detail what was happening, what is happening and why and why was it asked of me to stop and to sit still, or to not scream, or to not touch a certain thing in the house, this gets taught to me only when I am older and all the damage was already done through the parents reactions/emotions/feelings instead of breathing and directing situations in common sense in real physical support as to what is here in this physical reality, it is not like a baby is born with the knowledge of what everything is. This should be a basic common sense point.

To be continued on Self Forgiveness.

Day 130 – Living commitment – Day 2 of 21.

This is a continuation of Day 129 – day 1 of 21.

I started within my previous blog on how and what I experiences within actually applying a commitment, as I start with the basic point of Breathing, and to actually breathe everyday in awareness – I realized that breathing in awareness makes me more aware of things within me and what I live.

This brought out MAIN points within me – I started walking the first mentioned “main” point of a character I have taken on as the “I am ALWAYS bad Character”

So here I continue on the Self forgiveness on this character – I apply Self forgiveness on this character in relation to the Breathing point as I see that this character is faces prominently within my day that resonantly and unconsciously influences everything including my Breathing and thus not effectively breathing as there is Fear/anxiety/survival all the time as this characters foundations.

I continue from this Part.

Quote from day 129 “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD it against myself that I was judged as bad in the past and to make it so and part of my future and to within this feel insecure and less than and in valid and not worthy and full of self hatred and resentment and so act it out or trying to make it better through being a good guy that still always mess up, as the fear of being bad is the driving force of each finger and each word -- and thus it is but all a pretense and a lie and not real but characters upon characters playing their roles to avoid being bad, yet only the bad prevails, realizing that this is not the solutions as the hatred grows and the resentment grow, but that to take self responsibility for myself is the first and only step I must take and walk” – END Quote....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid being bad in the fear of being judged and getting complaints. 

this bad is really ridiculous things that was part of the parenting system that only hold values of the mind and isn’t really bad at all – Things such as being noisy, being loud, making a mistake, NOT LYING, the way I walk, talk, the way I do things and move and the way I interact with people and communicate and the way I enjoy myself and the way I express myself in each moment.

One example of this I am Bad character is – I will for instance be late for work, and within this I fear everyone will now judge me as being BAD and because of this judgment I have already told myself I am BAD, and thus for the rest of all my days I will never be bad again – MEANING I will never be late again, this then results in me always rushing, never having time, always doing everything very limited just to be in time - but this will all be done from the starting point of FEAR, so now every morning when I get to work in fear – I will be anxious for maybe being yelled at for being bad/late, even if I was early – how ridiculous – living in constant fear and anxiety of this one point. And then I hold this one point against myself ALL day, keeping myself in fear/anxiety all day and in the judgment of I was/am bad for it, in the anticipation that someone (an Authority) will come to me at a random time to remind me of me being bad for the one time I was late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear everyone in my world judging me as BAD.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Define BAD as something that isn’t accepted within and as others MINDS according to their beliefs/judgments/ideas/opinions and not at all based on the physical reality we all share equally in the flesh, but purely mind made up shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mind other people within my actions, validating the mind as back chat and secret mind where people gossip and talk about others with themselves, and to within this FEAR the back chat/secret thoughts others will have about me when I do something BAD that does not fit their minds.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the FEAR I have for others talking and judging me as bad in their minds in secret is only because I know I do this to others and that it is nasty and evil, and thus I do not wish for others to do it to me and within this I act out a character that will only look good and be good in others minds so that they can only have good back chat and secret conversations about me so that I do not have to FEEL bad for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I only JUDGE myself as BAD within my mind because of where I have judged others within my mind and had evil nasty conversations about them with myself, and so I see the message that Jesus said, do not judge unless you be judged, and now understanding the point of, as I judge others I will judge myself and place what I judge of others as myself and live in such a way to always avoid my own judgment within the evil secretive mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that how I judge others is how I judge myself, and that when I judge others as good or bad – that I place only limitation onto myself as I will live in such a way to always avoid my own judgment as I have witnessed for myself how I judge others as pure evil in my secret mind thoughts and back chat where I have conversations about others, and to within this realize that I fear the judgment of others because I know how I judge myself and others in my mind and that it is evil.

Evil/bad is that which is NOT best for ALL life in all ways, this isn’t a evil based on good or bad, it is based on Principal living as LIFE in and as the Physical as the flesh.

To be Continued.

Day 129 – Living a Commitment Day 1 of 21.

Today was interesting – I actually - during my day focused on breathing as the commitment I made to myself, to stop the mind and birth myself as LIFE.

BUT there were very interesting points that revealed itself more clearly and that I could now see within breathing more effectively.

The first Point that I saw was I had less thoughts and internal Movements as energy as emotions/feelings – so the interesting point(s) I noticed was that there were moments when I completely stopped breathing and went into a immediate State of thoughts (possession) of Fear/anxiety/survival.

This was triggered in specific moments when I was in different areas of my day with different people.

So when I was alone or working on my own, the breathing was stable and I was able to stop any thoughts immediately, as a thought came up I said out loud to myself I commit myself to breathe – and I breathed instead of thinking and participating in the thoughts, I did not suppress it, I made sure I breathed through it.

So I saw that ALL the thoughts I have during my day(s) was/is but distractions of/from the MAIN points that I am actually physically walking and living as the patterns/characters I have become, thus I realized that I over load myself with so many thoughts that I “hide’ the main points such as fear/anxiety/secret-mind that I have manifested as the living me in the flesh, pre-occupying myself to not face these points.

I breathe – I walk – I am committed to this one point till it is done.

Main Point number 1 – this is one of the Characters/patterns that I am living as -- and that I have manifested myself as, as the walking me in my application resonantly and in all behaviours and words.

“The -- I am ALWAYS a bad person Character”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always live and move myself within the behavioural patterns of I am a bad Peron.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I live in a resonantly possessed state of I am a bad person that reflect within all my words/actions and that it shows in everything I do as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being bad compared to being good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have manifested myself as the flesh within the self judgment of always being bad to such an extent that I even belief I do not have the right to stand up for that which is best for all life because apparently I am just too bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resonate with the self judgment as the thoughts I had/have in my mind about myself and to through this create a character within and as the living flesh that lives the words/thoughts that I resonated with in every detail of my life that end up as consequences such as always not pushing though points or not to commit to something because I have already judged myself as being bad and thus already failed within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and to define myself according to past/memories where I did not finish something or stayed committed to something and got judged by people/system such as in school and that I have within this created a character of myself that I have made in such a way to never have the “right” to change and to actually be Good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad from past experiences within and from school/parents/friends that is of the money system that is designed on Good and bad People and that requires good and bad people to exist the way as it does now for it to function – realizing that I blindly took on the role of the bad character that would end up working in mines or on the streets doing all the shit jobs because I have accepted and allowed myself as shit, realizing that this is exactly what the system wants because who else would do the shit jobs unless there are people that judge themselves as shit/bad and thus the system deliberately make/create good and bad to serve the system on both ends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good or bad in s world that is based on money and not real value as LIFE where all is equal in fact and where good and bad is that of simply doing what is best for all life and not defined according to social and intellectual levels designed only to make profit in the name of self interest and the abuse of life, realizing that I have labelled myself as being bad for not complying to a system that Abuses LIFE, because I did not “fit in” or met the standards that was required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to a system of abuse towards LIFE and to actually feel bad about myself for it. Realizing it is not to now not comply and suddenly be BAD, as that is also what the system wants as it is simply a part of the system that forces the rest into being good and never seeing the abuse as a example will be made of me then as being bad within the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad due to how I was treated by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as bad according to the words and the manners that was used on and towards me by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what those that has gone before me in their behaviours and words as facts and real and thus it must be who I am and what I am. Realizing that me accepting that is making it so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up from this character of “I am always bad” and to take a self honest self movement walk and stand for LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD it against myself that I was judged as bad in the past and to make it so and part of my future and to within this feel insecure and less than and in valid and not worthy and full of self hatred and resentment and so act it out or trying to make it better through being a good guy that still always mess up, as the fear of being bad is the driving force of each finger and each word -- and thus it is but all a pretense and a lie and not real but characters upon characters playing their roles to avoid being bad, yet only the bad prevails, realizing that this is not the solutions as the hatred grows and the resentment grow, but that to take self responsibility for myself is the first and only step I must take and walk

TO BE CONTINUED ON THE PARTS BELOW – with self forgiveness.

This Character activates around people that I have placed in my mind as “authority” and as better than me – as people that always do better.

So when I am for instance working and doing my stuff and a person comes in that I have placed in my mind as authority and they say something I freeze inside myself and I literally stop breathing, I am in complete anticipation of getting yelled at or being told how bad I am or that I am doing something wrong, this character is so intense that I will literally do “Nothing wrong” for months and when someone comes to me and say something that I have judged as authority in my mind – I will within myself stop and beam all of me into the mind – like taking on battle positions.

Then I will in quantum time check the “past/memories” to see what I did wrong and what this person possible can/will take out on me now, and I will not find anything, and then as the mind I will even go as far as Believing that it must have happened when I wasn’t aware or conscience, which is kind of impossible – like I did something where I got possessed and came back and do not remember anything – this is the mind as Fear looking at all possible scenarios to be ready to defend/justify/reason/fight.

So breathing all day surely has shown me the real points to work with, actual physical living characters/patters instead of daily mind bubbling pre-occupying thoughts as distractions – I am not saying Ignore and suppress the thoughts and do not Self forgive them, always Self forgive for any and all thoughts, I am simply saying the main points open up for me.

Also within breathing all day more consistently I have had lots of pains in my legs, especially in my Knees and shins and my movement was compromised at times and I had to slow down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the self judgment of being Bad, realizing within living as the self judgment of being bad I am always in search of doing the right/goof thing as to make up for how I judge myself, realizing that within always wanting to do the good thing I am only confirming the self judgment of myself as being bad.

To be continued on as-well..

Day 128 – Living a commitment - Breathe

Ok so I was about to do my Commitment statements on the previous blogs I did on Being skinny – The Machine Within, and as I started writing the commitments I stopped, I red the one commitment I did and I asked myself – did I write this commitment as Myself in fact where I will live this commitment. Then the next question came up – Have I live even one commitment I wrote in all the blogs?

Self honestly I haven't lived on commitment, I have only written them and placed them in blogs, I realize I had to do this to come to this point of realizing I have to physically live what I commit myself to. 

Then the next question came to me – What does it mean to commit myself to something. Now realizing that I have been in this process for four years and I have been doing what I am doing for a long time, I should by now know what commitment is and LIVING it physically in fact.

Then Came the next point after the self investigation – I looked at what I have committed myself to the most in my written words – the words I have written the most was – I commit myself to when and as I see myself...... and then it ends with to breathe and be here.

Now came the real test, where I could not ignore this point and postpone it for later – I had to ask myself once again – Have I ever gone ONE day where I live this commitment to the fullest of simply BREATHING – as living my commitment in fact – NO I haven't, I told myself, well you know it is a process, it takes time, then I realized it is a simple commitment – and this means that once I commit I LIVE, as simple as that.

So here I am going to take myself on – I am going to be strict with myself and my words and what I write.

Thus I am going to for the next 21 Days and beyond, do Self forgiveness on the one commitment – the commitment to “breathe and be here” and to ACTUALLY within the 21 days willingly breathe as a commitment to live one commitment I committed myself to. To keep myself to my own words and live it. 

Because this is a PATTERN – where I commit and forget and commit and forget and commit and forget and so it goes on. 

I can not recall one commitment I have made from previous blogs, because I never lived it in fact, I never integrated it as the flesh as who I am as the living words I am.

Here I am taking on one commitment and applying Self forgiveness on the point. Breaking the pattern, because this is not just in relation to blogging and so forth and my process since I have been participating with Desteni – this pattern has played out all my life in everything I do, never finishing a book I started, not finishing school, not finishing a video game I started, not finishing any relationship, I always only made these awesome statements in my life and never lived it. 

So here I start with the basic Commitment on Breathing in awareness – the foundation for myself as Breathe. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living one commitment for real daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living one commitment as myself daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of “seeing myself already failing, standing outside tomorrow morning after waking up already forgotten the commitment to life and to just continue as thoughts”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already judge myself as a failure due to past/memories of where I stated I am going to do something and never did and completely forgot and in the end feel even worse and more like a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelief in myself through self judgement of past memories/experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this a competition, realizing I am only competing with my mind that is energy and not real, and thus I see and realize as breathe I am here doing this for myself as an actual self movement that is not part of my pre-programmed life and thus I have to be deliberate and self moving and be strict with myself for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on “hope”, Hoping that tomorrow I will do it, realizing that it is a self movement where I have to in fact move myself and LIVE it and DO it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and judge myself as incapable of moving myself constantly in breathe all day in awareness of myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that if I have to commit myself to breathe all day in awareness tomorrow that it will compromise my life and I will move slow and not get anywhere with doing things, realizing this is the mind moving and giving all and the best excuses it can to not go there where the mind can not exist in breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others will think of me when I suddenly tomorrow change in my movement and behavior as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideas within my mind as to what it means to live in and as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and be in the mind as fear, fear of losing the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the mind as the mind is all that I have ever known and lived as, and thus I see and realize that I have created and manifested my live according to the mind and thus I see and realize that as I move as the breathe the mind created reality will slow down and I will not be able to sustain the mind reality I manifested for myself as patterns/characters and thus I see and realize why the mind fears moving as breathe as the physical.

To be Continued.