Day 59 - Perfection and patience

Ok so I was listening to the interview of Anu interview 9 History does not exist

.

Within this interview Anu discussed the point of perfection, and how he was in love with perfection, and that every time he learned something new about himself and what he can do he would go for perfection within it.

This perfection however isn’t what we humans now see as perfection as a picture as a idea of perfection, because that is already putting limits on perfection.

Perfection isn't of the mind where you already have a future projection of the idea of perfection you want to achieve, the perfection that was discussed was in terms of giving it your all in each breathe, perfecting self in each breathe in the details and how effective you are within what you are doing, this cannot have a desired outcome as a  idea/belief/opinion of perfection that you want to achieve as this will only compromise and sabotage self in each breathe as it is separation.

Otherwise you will not reach the idea/belief/opinion and only end up creating points of I am not good enough, I can never do this, it is unachievable.

So it is to instead when you are doing something with in and as the physical, to within the moment be here with all of yourself and to give it your all, to the best of your ability and to have no mind interferences that will create limited beliefs/ideas/opinions of what it is supposed to be.

So for example if I am building a wooden table, or if I am working in the garden and planting food, or if I am writing this Blog, I must breathe and to within breathing be patient here with myself to not RUSH or to HASTE (hate) myself to get it done to go do something else, but to instead be here and work with what is here to my fullest potential in each breathe, to not be moved by time and to rush in the face of time, but to be patient in each breathe within self moment to self perfection.

Thus perfection does not have a picture idea/belief/opinion it is in a way a self expression of self perfection, unlimited, it is to achieve your fullest potential within and as the physical in each breathe within the principal of what is best for all life in all ways.

It is in the details that we create ourselves, so it is to be patient and to breathe and to not rush and haste myself and to do things to get it over with in the rush of time, but to instead breathe and focus on what I am doing and to go into details and to apply myself effectively and consistently till I am at self perfection, as it is SELF perfection it isn’t the perfection the world portrays as nice/beautiful pictures and structures and ideas as that is all of the mind as self perfection can not be achieved living and existing in the mind as I am physical and here, thus it is to actually physically create it, it is to do with practicality, self expression as life and to

Self forgiveness.

Perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that self perfection is unachievable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that self perfection is unachievable due me participating within comparison within my world instead of focussing on myself and my self perfection in each breath within the principal of what is best for all life in all ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that self perfection isn’t the pictures/ideas/beliefs that the world portray as what is/should be perfect, as that is already unachievable for all as it is limited to specific requirements that only a few can achieve.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that self perfection is a expression of self within each breathe as the whole of my being as life here present and doing what I do to the full potential or to expand my potential in my own individual expression as part of the whole one and equal as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self perfection is me perfecting myself within what is already here and to expand myself in each breathe within patience with myself to not rush or haste myself and miss the details of creating myself as self perfection as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to pictures and ideas/beliefs of what perfection is that is portrayed through the media, realizing that this idea of perfection is unachievable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that self perf3ection inst the pictures/ideas/beliefs that the world portray as what is/should be perfect, as that is already unachievable for all as it is limited to specific requirements that only a few can achieve.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that self perfection is a expression of self within each breathe as the whole of self being here present and doing what self is doing to the full potential or to expand self potential in self own individual expression as part of the whole one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self perfection is self perfecting self within what is already here and to expand self in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to pictures and ideas/beliefs of what perfection is that is portrayed through the media, realizing that this idea of perfection is unachievable for most and thus it is the perfect way to create perfect consumers that will continually keep trying to reach a point of perfection that is deliberately created to not be able to be achieved for most and thus it is the perfect way to create perfect consumers that will continually keep trying to reach a point of perfection that is deliberately created to not be able to be achieved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a picture/idea/opinion about what perfection is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create perfection as something outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself as perfection of myself as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that perfection is a picture/idea, realizing that self perfection is me perfecting myself in the totality of my physical body and how I function and move and direct myself within the physical one and equal as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality out of ideas/beliefs/opinions, realizing that if I create a personality out of the ideas/beliefs/opinions I have of perfection then I am limited to those ideas/beliefs/opinions of the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that self perfection as breathe is possible through consistency and commitment to self.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that through consistency and commitment self perfection is possible as I apply myself within my daily life in each breathe as that which is best for all life committed and consistently as to proof to myself in the physical and that it is real.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that self perfection as life is perfecting life as self one and equal, and thus to create perfection out of personality and self interest is limited to those few points that only serve self as limitation and self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being good enough to be consistent enough to be self perfection in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that self perfection is a ideal self, realizing that self perfection is self in each breathe as who you are that determines what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make perfection more than me.

I forgive myself that I have not considered that I can create myself as who I am as I decide who i am in each breathe and thus it is possible to create myself perfect as life one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am doomed by my personalities for life and that I have to accept and allow myself to just exist as my limited personalities based on memories and experiences of that past.

I forgive myself that I have  not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I created my personalities through memory and past experiences and thus it is possible to forgive the past and top rebirth/re-create myself in the present in each breathe as self perfection as I have the ability to create myself as it was proven to me through how I created multiple personalities during my life, thus it is simply doing the same thing consistently and with commitment and to self perfect myself as life as that which is best for all life as this will ensure a life that is worth living and so that when I come to face death I will know who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self perfection in a idea/belief/picture instead of being self perfection in each breathe within my full potential/creating my full potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the idea of perfection out there onto someone or something separating it from myself and making it more than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only a few can be perfect, realizing that self perfection has nothing to do with appearances but as who I am as LIFE one and equal in and as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider self perfection as life one and equal as LIFE.

I commit myself to perfect my breathe as life through consistency and commitment to myself to breathe and to be here in patience one and equal as the physical and to move myself in re-creating myself as self perfection to my fullest potential as LIFE one and equal.

I commit myself to perfect myself through the writing of self forgiveness and to end all energy driven personalities that I created from the past as memory and experiences and to rebirth myself as self perfection as life one and equal in each breathe as a living statement of who I am.

I commit myself to be patient with myself in each breath and to stop the rushing of life and to be here and focus on the details in all I do so that I can be aware of myself in each breathe and to see where I can change the details to self perfection as that which is best for all life in all ways as LIFE one and equal as who I am.

To reach self perfection we all need help – do not let the ego/mind fool you – join us now at www.desteniiproccess.com and discover yourself and perfect yourself.

Day 58 – Life is all about sex – A magazine

This is a continuation of day 57 – life is all about sex, physical attractions

I am now going to take on another memory, this memory is when I first discovered a magazine for men laying around the house. 

 Sex and Success - Sunette Spies

You know, those magazines that the parents/adults buy that had women in them half naked, this isn’t the one that has completely naked women in them, and then there are those once in a while posters that come with.

This memory is from when I was 11, I was walking around the house and I saw a stack of magazines ready to be thrown out, so I got down and I took a look at what magazines there are, as I went through I saw a different type of magazine than what I am used to, this one had a women on it with only lingerie on and she was positioned very sexually.

I was curious and I opened it, as soon as I opened it and I saw some pictures I felt a sudden fear, I might be caught our looking at this, I realized I had to have a magazine like this alone where I can watch it without anyone judging me for watching, obviously I experienced the fear because of what I experienced within me while watching the females posing and being half naked, the feeling of arousal.

So I went to my room, I ripped out the ones I liked and I took the magazine back and placed it secretly on the pile where it was, I kept the pictures in a book in the back pages that was hidden between my bed. 

And this is where I started creating what I like and do not like in real “Living” females all in secret in my mind as back chat and thoughts

So I first used the Barbie picture I created at six to find what I like and never got it, but this magazine had perfect “real” women in, so I started liking the women in the magazine, they had the perfect faces, the perfect ass, the perfect size boobs, they had it all and they had the bodies to move themselves in a way that makes me feel good and I am attracted to it.

So what if Barbie was created Fat and the magazines I found had fat girls in it, would that have been what I like, well I can only say yes as it is a matter of programming, brainwashing, mind control.

As long as I exist as the mind I can be mind controlled, brainwashed. 

So I will focus myself forgiveness and how I have at the age of eleven created the actual connection that it might be possible to get a girl I desire as in the magazines, because they are there in the magazines and they are real women, so they must be out there and thus I must be able to get one like them, not realizing there are 7 billion people on earth and only a couple of thousand looks like that with all their pimples taken out, the hips made smaller, the breasts made larger all with PC’s. 

So again I set up a life mission to get the girl I desire that does not exist in this world for everyone, only a few, I created it in such a way that I made myself belief that I might be one of the few, I might just get a girl like that, it is gambling, and it is easy to see how this becomes a boys LIFE mission, how life becomes all about sex. 

Because as I boy I created so many pictures, ideas, beliefs, feelings, emotions within myself in my mind towards these pictures/females in magazines. Movies/toys/TV that I as a boy just want to experience it for real only ones, to not have to have it in the mind but for real, and so the chase of a lifetime begins, and it all started with in those first few years on what I decided to chase after. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the pictures I have in my mind of the type of females I created myself to be attracted to through watching magazines and movies can become a reality for me if I just continue chasing, searching, and even waiting all my life in the hope that it might just happen, not realizing and considering that it was merely pictures in a magazine or on TV that was placed there deliberately by the media to create consumers out of the human to run after something and spend billions on in the hope of achieving the picture while they know the pictures they presented and created a desire for within the human is unattainable and thus create life time consumers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that If I dress myself up more and if I go to the gym more and If I change my personality more and it I design myself to look more like a picture that I will be able to attract the pictures I created and designed within my mind to like to come to me or that I will find them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a picture out of myself in the way I walk, talk, dress, look and live my life in the hope that I might attract that one desired picture I created within my mind through magazines/TV/Internet and or through paintings drawings etc. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to literally change and create my whole life in such a ways that I can attract that one desired picture I brainwashed myself to like and to exist as a mind controlled zombie my whole life to maintain this picture Idea I created myself in the hope of attracting the female I desire within my mind as a picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make life decision within the hope that this life decision will bring me the female I desire as the picture I have in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am settling for less if I do not settle for the picture in my mind, realizing that within this belief I have actually created my own limitation as I created the unreachable picture desire in my mind and thus anything I settle then for will be less according to my brainwashing and mind control.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that all human being as made of flesh and how humans look like has no meaning as the flesh is the same for all equally, thus I realize that if I feel I have settled for less then I am actually creating such a feeling for myself through giving power away to the mind as pictures/desires/energy, instead of breathing and realizing that any relationship with no matter who is what I make of it in and as the physical and that any relationship within the mind as fantasies/desires/hopes is only a compromise and self sabotaging and destroying the physical for self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that having a relationship with a picture is fulfilling, not realizing that I will still be with myself no matter in what relationship I am in and thus it isn’t about the other being and fulfilling each other but to walk as equals yet alone this life as two whole beings that support and assist each other to not accept and allow anything less than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see beauty outside of myself within others as I have judged myself as ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self perfection and as if it is unachievable as I have created the connection of the word perfection to physical appearance instead of who I am as life as perfection which clearly indicates that perfection is self in oneness and equality with life and thus seeking perfect in others appearance to make up for my own self judgment and not to have to face self as the dishonesty of living in a picture word instead of the physical one and equal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek perfection in others and their physical appearances as I have judged myself as ugly and not perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the perfect female for myself so that I can feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that only a perfect female can make me happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a perfect women means happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect happiness with the picture of the mind as being a perfect female, realizing it is all part of self brainwashing through ideas/beliefs/memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the limitation for myself to exist as/ within the belief that only a perfect female can make me happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can only be satisfied with a perfect female with the perfect body as I have created it in my mind according to my own belief that I took from TV/magazines etc and brainwashed myself to belief it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that happiness is having a perfect female partner and how her body looks, realizing that I will never be happy and that happiness as a life priority over life itself is psychopathic behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to belief that I can only experience create sex if my partner looks like the desired image I have within my mind, realizing that sex is a physical act of intimacy between two being and that is has nothing to do with pictures of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create sexual desires of sex within my mind where I can have the perfect sex with the perfect girl and when it comes to reality it all seems so boring and unsatisfied, realizing that I have created this limitation for myself through participating in the mind as pictures and energy which is always more than it is within reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to pictures within my mind of the perfect female that I have created through images and memory as past experiences and to place the picture memory/experience onto the present within the physical and to make the physical seem less, realizing that if I stop this behavior and focus on the physical within touch and to breathe and be here in the present and to stop comparing the physical with the mind I can actually have a different experie4nce than my own limitation of the mind as the belief that I have created “I can only have great sex with the perfect female”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within my own mind created limitations within a few mind set beliefs I have created for myself and to close all other possible ways of living life here in and as the physical as I have created the mind more than the physical and thus the mind will always seem better yet unachievable, creating a life of depression and regret.

 What is Sex

I forgive myself that I have not realized that if I stop the participation within the mind as pictures and energies that are always presented as more than the physical that I will end depression and regret within my sex life as I will be able to focus on what is here and to not be limited within and as myself own self expression in each breathe and that I will be able to enjoy another being in touch and breathe as the mind will not interFEAR and create limitation and misguidance of false images in the mind.

I commit myself to breathe when I am with another being physically and to stop all mind pictures and memories of the past to interfere with the present and to focus on touch and the physical, and to when I see something arising to apply self forgiveness for myself to release myself from all mind created limitations so that I can freely express myself with my partner.

I commit myself to show and expose that all desires for more and better sex is implanted within the human from a young age to create consumers that will buy and buy all the things they can to achieve the implanted ideas/pictures and that the current money system is aware of it and knows well it is taking advantage of this point to create people that will never be satisfied and always want more and spend more so the rich can make more money and thus I commit myself to bring an end to capitalism and bring about a equal money system that is best for all life.

I commit myself to show that any and all desire within the human is in fact part of brainwashing and mind control and not real as it happened at early ages already as part of the brainwashing and thus it is not human nature or behavior but simply programming/brainwashing and as it already starts at a young age people cannot see how it happened unless they really look into it with self honesty and then the truth will be reveal that self created the human nature and desires and is in fact not real but only part of the human enslavement.

Day 57 – Life is all about sex – physical attractions of Barbie.

This is a continuation of day 56 – Life ia all about sex – I met Barbie at six.

Ok so today I am going to look at The Barbie doll and the physical attractions I imprinted from the doll as what I like, I am specifically using the Barbie doll as it is within my first seven years of my life of my base programming – and the Barbie doll is the earliest memory I currently can remember and recall where I have made such decisions within myself in relation to physical attractions and a emotional connection and sexual. 

So let me look at Barbie, I bring her here and as the memory, in her nakedness and I see what I decided I like based on a picture, imagination – because I realize, no matter if someone is fat skinny or how they look at all – Touch is the exact same on the skin for everyone, thus anything else is a MIND fuck, my own imposed limitations that I place onto myself, thus self forgiveness on all parts that the mind has made something out of it, where in fact it isn’t.

Face. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Barbie doll face as the perfect face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Barbie doll as having the perfect face where everything fits together with each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a feeling/emotional charge towards how the Barbie doll’s face look like as a desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire all girls having the same face as Barbie within the belief that if all girls had the same face as Barbie they all will always be happy like Barbie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgement of the Barbie doll’s face as being the perfect face and to judge whomever else’s face to not be perfect in polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a good feeling towards the Barbie dolls face and thus to connect it as if I have a girlfriend with the same face I will feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the Barbie dolls face a perfect, realizing it is made up in a factory out of plastic and not real at all, and only representing a picture of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that barbie must have the perfect face as all the girls that played with the other barbies made it look like it must be so in the way they played with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in love with Barbie’s face, thus literally trapping myself within the energetic feeling/emotion towards such a facial expression and to not “like” anything less than, thus realizing I set up all relationships I have to fail as the girls will never match my ideal face I desire for a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I connected the Barbie doll with emotions and feeling within my mind and imprinted the picture  within me as a desire that I actually limited and enslaved myself to that one picture and to never live here in each and every breath enjoying myself within and as the physical with all the expressions of the physical as one as equal. 

Boobs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the perfect partner must have boobs that is a good size that is touchable and visible when wearing cloths such as the barbie doll.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a women must have round perfect boobs to be a potential partner such as the Barbie, otherwise they are not real women and not worth touching as I touched the Barbie doll.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the size of all women’s breasts according to how I have experienced touching Barbie’s boobs and to within this belief that if a women doesn’t have a reasonable size boobs such as barbie you cannot have fun with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that different size boobs will feel different, realizing that all boobs even of men, feel the exact same as they are all the same as flesh/skin, and only the manner of how the boob size fits in your hand will be different but touch will be the exact same, and if the boob size makes you experience the touch any different than you know you are brainwashed and mind controlled as that is a mind job and not real as the physical one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief all women must have perfect round boobs or there must be something wrong with them, as Barbie had perfect boobs as she was not real and made of plastic and but only a picture in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that boobs are important within a relationship as there must have been a reason they made babies so big and perky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that boobs are important in a relationship, realizing that boobs are mere fat and for feeding babies and not intended for a man at all, and thus any connection to boobs as a desire is actually a result of mental disorder of inner voices and back chat that self has with self.

Legs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that Barbie has the perfect legs and that all women’s legs must look like hers or there is something wrong with them if it doesn’t, as Barbie must be perfect why else would they make a doll like that with which all girls must play with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all girls that does not have legs like Barbie as not potential partners and thus shun them away and actually become mean and ugly towards them as they are not fitting my mental picture of limitation and mind enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the belief through playing and touching a Barbie doll that all girls must have smooth perfect feeling legs or they are not real girls and not worth a women, realizing that Barbie was actually created in the image and likeness of what a women in this life can never achieve, even with plastic surgery as there will always be hair on a person’s body.

Ass

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that all girls asses are made in china lol, see first Barbie blog to get the joke. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that all girls must have a ass that is skinny and where the hips isn’t wide but just the right size as to fitting the body posture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a girls ass must be skinny for her to be worth considering in a relationship, realizing that it is not about being skinny or fat, it is about self honesty and LIFE as the physical one and equal, as we are all here living on earth, and thus anything that compromises self to live in limitations and mind control is enslavement and for the mind consciousness system that is enslavement, and thus it is to realize no matter how a Being looks like, we are all make of flesh the exact same thing and bone and skin and it all moves, touches/feels the exact same, thus if there is anything more it is to realize that there is a mind fuck, a judgment of the fruit of the tree of knowledge instead of the tree of LIFE where all is one and equal.

To be continued..

www.desteniiprocess.com