Day 441 - Waiting till the last minute Part 2



Day 440 - Waiting till the last minute Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait till the last minute to arrange meetings with people.

When and as I see myself going into the pattern of waiting till “later as the last minute, I stop, I breathe, I consider what’s here and my action, to see if they are within consideration of the moment or that of energy as ego, and to assess my actions and the consequences of them, to from this point re-evaluate my decision and take a different path, the path of correction and apply myself within what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait up until the last minute to re-arrange meetings or appointments with people.

When and as I see myself waiting and waiting to make a phone call to someone where I have to re-arrange a meeting or an appointment, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am in a pattern again, where I am now thinking the whole time instead of doing, and that doing it easier and takes much less energy and time then thinking about re-arranging things with other people, and thus I move myself to use my energy productively and get the points out of my head.

I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to wait till the last minute to call people or to notify people about changes in plans.

I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to compromise myself and others, though NOT considering both ends equally and one, within the arrangements, or appointments that has been made, and when they are being changed, and to within this, create a constant anxiety within me, in relation to what I know I should have been doing, Yet I postponed till the last minute.

When and as I see that I am in the pattern of waiting up until the last minute to call people to re-arrange meetings or schedules, even if something unpredictable happened, I stop, I breathe, I do not wait till the last minute to notify the others, I pick up my phone or use any form of communication I have to contact the other person, as I see and realize that this is me actually considering both ends, as I would have liked for myself, thus seeing and realizing that when I do onto another as I would have liked to be done onto, I do not create anxiety/stress for myself, but instead I build my self-respect and honor.

I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to postpone notifying others about appointment or meetings that has to be changed, In the fear, that if I notify them, that they will react, or take it personally, or that I will be questioned about why, and using not knowing how to explain myself to them, and my situation as an excuse, I then instead go into resistance of doing it now, and thus postpone it till the last minute, when I have no choice but to go there.

When and as I see myself creating fear towards having to call people to re-arrange meetings or appointment and using the “justifications” and “excuses” of that here might be reactions or they might take it personally, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that this is my fear and not the reality of what is here and what might happen or not, and that I am only creating these fears to postpone and not take full self-responsibility for my actions/words, and thus I now instead direct myself to focus on what here and not my fear, and to move accordingly within the practical steps that’s required in the moment to bring about correction and considering everyone else instead of my fear.

When and as I see myself having to call someone or notify someone, or inform someone about appointments/meetings that has to be re-arranged/scheduled, and I am postponing using my fear of them questioning my actions of why, and that I will not be able to explain to them the situation, I stop, I breathe, I instead focus on getting my story in line, preparing myself to tell the other person whats needed to be heard, instead of focussing on “I do not KNOW” as a way of keeping myself in my pattern deliberately just to protect myself and my comfort zone

I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to NOT see and realize, that this is a point of choice, where I still believe that I have a choice, and to within this always postpone till the last minute, where there isn’t any choice anymore, when in fact, all that is being shown to me is that there never was any choice, I simply deluded myself, and to within this delusion of choice give away my authority, my power, within moving myself to do what needs to be done, and to then create dishonesty within me, where I then live within dishonesty, and thus create consequences of fear/anxiety and stress that then becomes my prison, where I am trapped within the experience of myself as it all being real, and to within this always repeat the pattern, never learning or changing for the best, to be my perfect self.

When and as I see myself going into the Illusion of choice in relation to changing schedules/arrangements with other people, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that I am postponing because I a creating reasons/justification within my mind that seems valid and real for why I am postponing, when in fact it’s just me deluding myself within the point, because the inevitable is that I have to do it, there is no other way, and thus I take a Breathe and I push myself to work with what’s here and not in my head.

When and as I see myself participating within the construct of choice, I stop, I breathe, I check for myself if there really is choice, and to self honestly look at what it is I am crating choice towards and why, whats the reason, whats the purpose behind it, why do I want choice, even when there isn’t any choice, because the facts stand, it's isn't es-capable, and to within this self-instigation in the moment follow the common sense and not the pattern, the trap of the usual, where make things difficult for myself, instead I make it simplistic for myself.

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