The reality of I have Limited Time, Day 11 0f 21 – Day 596

Realizing that there is a limited time this life time is quit a scary realization. We somehow live as if death will never come for us, as if we have more time to wait and to postpone and to participate in our daily patterns, habits, and how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be.

Yet, the reality is, there is an end time, a point where it is too late. When this time is, is unknown, yet we know it is here, Death is probably the only fact we can all confirm currently in this world, and NO opinion or belief or idea about it, will change that fact, you and me are going to die. Our flesh is going to rot and return back to the earth to substance.

We do however have opinions, believes and Ideas about what happens after death, when “we” move on – yet this is all it is, opinions, believes and ideas, because I can ask myself one simple question that will bring this point of what happens after death to me to a stable realization of, shit, I am fucked after death - this question is – who is moving on as “me” after death?

Let me explain this question – but one has to be really self-honest within looking at it. Let’s say I have about 10 different personalities – these personalities are determined by who I am with, where I am and what I am doing, they are all different, and we can all confirm these different personalities, where we are different people, living different lives – so who the fuck is moving on after death? Which personality? Who are you? The fact that I/you are not certain on who we are without any personality, means we are fucked, because the fact that personalities can change shows they are not real and thus will not continue after death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that WHO I am currently as personality and characters formed within energy in and as the mind as Programming/brainwashing from and of my parents/society/culture and so on will live for ever, seeing and realizing just as moods can change, which shows that any personality/character isn’t real as it can just change, so will I change at death and NOT know who I am and so I know that I will be fucked and End at death, and Yet I continue to live as if who I am is just fucking perfect and normal and that everything will be okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the IDEA and Believes sold to me by those that has gone before me that I will continue to exist after death without ever actually creating myself, and thus I can just live on as if I am going to live and exist forever and thus do not really have to give a shit about myself or this world, because when death comes I will be save, which is a LIE, as I know I cannot tell what happened or where I came from before I was born, so who the fuck can tell me what’s going to come and if it is real or not? Especially if I myself cannot even at will leave my body as I know I do not exist yet, but only energy as personality as energy as the mind which ends at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will exist and live on after death without actually creating myself, completely living in an Illusion of reality of consumerism, where we believe shit can be bought or just given to us if we have money, the rotten child syndrome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that I exist just because I am here, yet I Fear death, which shows I do not yet exist because I fear me now existing after death, and thus I know this is a confirmation to myself that as long as I fear Death, I know I am not a living being yet, as Death will “change” me. And as long as I can change and not stand as LIFE in all dimensions, then I am not real HERE as all life as who I am in fact within common sense, yet not realized as a living fact as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can wait till tomorrow to changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not changing a pattern or habit then I might as well accept it for now and maybe later on change it, as I am too lazy to just fucking breathe and change.

I forgive myself That I have accepted and allowed myself to AVOID looking at the fact that I have limited time here in this form on this planet for now to create myself in FACT as LIFE and to change the Bullshit on all dimensions of this existence starting with myself right HERE and not tomorrow or in ten years or fucking a maybe, but to actually push in each breath the points that is HERE and so move every day to create myself as a LIVING physical being and to remove myself from the debt based MIND as personalities and characters that is based on the past and depends on the past to exist.

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