Idea versus Ideal Day 602 – Day 5 of 21




I have so many ideas during my everyday living – my ideas are always inspired for world change, how I as an individual can start something, make it big and make it happen. I write down many of my ideas and some I post on social networks, where they get some feedback. I appreciate any and all feedback.

Ideas come and go, this is what I have seen for myself, and sometimes I act on these ideas, to physically practically check it out. These Ideas I act on are usually small things that are possible right now, so it is easy and I have feedback quit quickly and can thus change my idea and test it out again.

One of the Key points I have realized within acting on small ideas is to take and idea and to mold and shape that idea into an Ideal, not an Idol, then we will have a problem.

I always align my ideas that are BIG to group activity and efforts, and always in alignment with the principles I live by to benefit and support and assist all those equally that I can currently reach and that stand equally as me. As I know it will only then spread out more and more.

The problem I face is a Fear, where I get an Idea that isn’t something that can be done right here and now, it is something that requires time and effort, to set the IDEAL of the idea already in the planning without having the opportunity first to just test it and then correct it. Because any BIG Idea that goes public effects that idea and how that idea is manifested, so a second chance is very hard after that, an unfortunate consequence of living in a system where there are winners and losers.

I have been in the process of bringing a BIG Idea to live, to manifest it, it is taking time, the planning, the research and all the practical points that is required to be in place before even exposing or revealing this idea to not have any assumptions already made, and that is of course part of and in alignment with my process and living and standing as a Destonian and the Desteni Principles and group. As the group always comes first.

So the point I am facing is the fear of the unknown of not having that space and time to take a BIG idea and first check it out, I must basically give it one shot and that will be it for this one particular idea, and even if the idea fails, it will not mean it was a bad one, it can simply mean that I have missed a few points, and thus the Ideal isn’t met.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking a BIG idea and to follow through with it into manifestation and that it might not work and where the reasons will be that of missing small points within the Ideal outflow I wanted and saw within the Idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear making BIG mistakes and who I will be within that miss take, where I can already see myself getting back up and starting over, yet I fear having to go through the whole process again just because of missing a few points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rush into manifesting my big idea as soon as possible just to find out if it will work or not, and to within this miss the IDEAL and what I must practically consider within the Idea as to as much as possible ensure that the Ideal of the Idea is to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to flood my passion and vision and Idea with too much unnecessary information within a fear as a paranoia of messing it up and to within this take the idea and making it into a typical sales pitch and missing the passion completely of where the Idea comes from as a self-directed and creative movement within me that isn’t of knowledge and information but a physical movement of living and manifesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going BIG and Viral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen if my BIG idea actually manifest and how much of a difference it will be from what I saw within me and my mind versus reality as I had no time to first check and assess as what I do with small ideas on a daily living scale.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself within listening to the mind as knowledge and information as comparison where I compare myself as less than those that has made big ideas come true and were able to be flexible and moveable to adjust and make it happen, and that I am not the same, yet I know within me as my expression that I am, I can I am capable, I must simply take the lead/jump after preparation and cross reference with others and to know that in breath I am okay, I am here, I am doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the voices in my head of what other people will say and think about my crazy ideas and that it will not be possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR my response to others when and if they might have negative responses towards me and my crazy ideas and that I might just get more crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect everyone to just go with it and make it happen and then it will work, yet seeing and realizing the mind as I am facing it now will be equal within everyone else and thus as I face my point I will be able to support and assist others to also see that what seems crazy and impossible and even radical is simply pre-programming holding us back from breaking through our fears. And as long as what we are doing is within self-honesty one and equal to our expression sanding within such a point will be natural and not a fighting and reactive process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself and my potential within me for creating change and effecting this world for a better world that is best for all life. And to within this hold back so much and so many times in fear, in self-judgement, in insecurities and so much mind shit that I have never even given myself a chance to stand up and show my head in the crowds for something different, something that will NOT immediately been smiled upon, yet if I stand as me as my expression in passion and obsolete principle of what’s best for all life, I will be guided one and equal and bear the fruits one and equal.

To end it off – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this WAY bigger than what it is within my mind, as the mind tend to already place oneself in the Famous seat in the spotlight, which is a false idea and not and Ideal way to approach anything in expectations, Be here in breathe moving direct within physical reality and no illusions.






Day 601 - My Eqafe Hangout Day 4 of 21

For tonight, I have an Eqafe Hangout that I participated in, I will post the link here.



Please, take an Hour to watch somthign different than the usual series, or movie that the system provides, also take a look at the Interview we are talking about here in the hangout.

The Quantum time illusion - https://eqafe.com/p/reptilians-the-quantum-time-illusion-part-11

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the MIND is MINE and that I can be a MINE that mines my own physical body as much as I want to, not realizing and seeing that what I accept and allow within me, I am also accepting and allowing within this world, and If I can not even stop myself then how can I expect myself to stop what is being done on a global scale and change this world to a place that is Best for all life, as heaven on earth, as my actual true desire that I have denied myself since I was a child, but suppressed it and gave into living as a Mind Zombie only consuming life.


Day 600 – I am Capable of anything, am I? Day 3 of 21



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination of what I am capable of when and as I hear the words, or read the words – you are capable of anything, where I go into an alternate reality and totally disregard the reality that is here and who I am within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that I am capable of anything to distract me from reality and what is here as who I am and the actual physical limitations, challenges that I deal with daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelieve that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the disbelieve more than the belief, as the disbelief enforces my limitations, yet the belief takes me beyond my limitations and into imagination, and thus I see it isn’t a matter of believing but to live the words and to check it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a struggle between what my mind shows me I am capable of and what I am actually capable of within the physical reality, where what my mind is showing me looks so easy and real and accomplish able, yet when I move and direct the physical reality there are so much more that I haven’t considered or looked at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be effected by the words – you are capable of anything – and to within this effect take myself to a positive polarity within me where I end up only hitting negatives in friction with this polarity and so give up on myself. Instead of being real with myself, seeing how can I in fact live the words – I am capable of anything, and to first and foremost realize that I am capable of anything and everything and this includes first developing, teaching and practicing and training and integrating what is necessary for me to be capable of anything and everything which includes anything and everything I must walk and face to stand as those living words.

Thus I see and realize that I missed the words completely in practicality, as I was hearing them within energy as imagination, and so when I look and see the word as living word, I can see that – I am capable of anything – implies everything that is required and inclusive of the process to be walked to actually live and stand as the words – I am capable of anything, and to not give up following an imagination as a vision of what the words imply and means as an end result, completely missing the journey that is inclusive of ANYTHING, and only through walking the journey to I become capable in fact.

Day 599 – there is NO happy ending pre-programmed Day 2 of 21




Excuse me if this blog comes through as angry or aggressive or whatever else you as the reader may experience, but this is how I talk in real life sometimes with people about these matters. Just not with energy behind it. The words and how I express them really brings the reality of the points forth for me to not fall in any illusion about what I am saying.

I found this hidden point within me, where I still believe that there is somehow a happy ending at the end of all of this, what if there is no happy ending, what if the only possible way for any happy ending is literally if everyone walks the Desteni Process? Then we are currently fucked. Haha (just a point of consideration) not to demotivate, but instead to motivate. To realize the commitment and walking and standing of myself. There is NO ending to this till we all have CREATED a happy ending, not waiting for pre-programming to lay out a happy ending that requires us to wait, which shows what? We are fucked, because then we are just going the same way as now. No different. And it starts with self-forgiveness, self –correcting, becoming the Virus of correction within one’s own life and environment for LIFE, oneness and equality as a living example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if there is going to be a fucking happy ending as the movies has taught me how shit works, no matter how shitty it gets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a happy ending for me in this story called LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if everything is going to be okay for ME ONLY, while BILLIONS suffer on this exact same planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can live my life and forget about everything else in this world because there is apparently NO matter what I do a fucking happy ending at the end of this story of mine.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realEYES that Death is everyone’s ending and it isn’t happy, and at death we do not leave the shit behind that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves as this world, as above so below, as within so without, there is NO fucking escaping and no happy ending UNLESS I give up the mind and stand as life for all life in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the illusions that has been sold to me on TV and Movies where no matter how much war or fighting or struggling happens there is always a ending where shit is happy and working again, which is not what will happen in this planet in reality, how the fuck do you reverse the damage you have done to your MOTHER earth? It requires YEARS if not decades of correction and deliberate change, there is NO fucking magical way to fix it, there is no government that is going to fix it, there is no secret society that is going to fix it, there is YOU and me waking up and fixing it right now and HERE as we are capable but we have a problem, the mind is in the way, it is our fucking god. We can’t stop consuming, we can’t stop even the thoughts, and how are we going to change? Where is this happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a fairy tale movie that has been sold to me where the end of the world is coming closer but somehow I can remain calm, somehow I still believe that there is a fucking happy ending????

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as a happy ending at all, when a child can be sold as a sex slave and be raped to death by the age of 7, where is the fucking happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there will be a happy ending ONLY for me, what a selfish cunt, while my mother earth is dying, in fact I can see it, there is no place or space for a happy ending, MY fucking earth that I live on is being molested and raped by the people that gives power to the systems that are here, you and me. Take responsibility.

I forgive myself that haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the TRUE extend to what we are fucked and that there is NO happy ending in this story, it isn’t pre-programmed and I cannot rely on a pre-written script to just play on everyday as who I am as what I live and what I stand for as self-interest and the mind, I must stand up HERE not tomorrow, I must reach my fellow humans NOW not tomorrow, I must stand as the change HERE not tomorrow, I must stand as LONG as it takes till there is a fucking happy ending created and here, but the signs for that is so slim and non-visible – there is no hope at all, get real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in an isolated fairy tale where I can blind myself to reality and live only for my happy ending, yet missing everything that is burning and suffering around me, as if my happy ending is the ending LOL, after every happy “ending” the story continues and the shit is still here and I must stand up and face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE up for the sake of a happy ending just for me and to forget about all of me as earth/life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about everything and to only focus on my fairy-tale happy ending. Till something happens to me, then I suddenly want to change shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that IF I do not stand and give up my fairy-tale idea/dream pre-programmed shit then I cannot expect anyone else to do so, and thus I am accepting and allowing the end of Life as we know it with everyone else, for illusion happy endings.




Day 598 – The root cause of all Addiction Day 1 of 21



watch this video - https://www.facebook.com/upliftconnect/videos/846444885492494/?pnref=story and see they haven't done real investigation actually, but it is a cool start for now, see what helped the addicts in the video wasn't connecting really, it was just they are busy with REAL things and not the mind, the physical was and is their grounding point, stability and so they could stay out of the mind where the real addiction is. - http://upliftconnect.com/opposite-addiction-connection/

IF you truly want to end addictions, any of them, stop your mind, and rebirth YOU at Desteni.org and the online course DIP lite and Pro

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the root for my addiction from an outside source other than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the cause for my addictions within a form of reason outside of me to set me free from my addictions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any and all addiction that I have comes from me, and that I must give any and all addiction authority FIRST and foremost, and no matter how much I want to blame or give reason to my environment and circumstances for why I am addicted, I cannot deny that I make the decision every single time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe the next best explanation for why I have addictions as to justify sources outside of myself and to not to have to take self-responsibility for myself and can rather blame and be subject to outside sources and never be held accountable for my actions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any addiction I form as relationships I form with certain things within my environment comes from the relationship I have formed with myself, where this relationship that I have with myself is the first problem I must deal with, and thus the MIND, as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that consciousness is the first addiction I have formed with my own relationship with myself, where I have made consciousness ME, as the thoughts, feelings and emotions as energy, where I have become addicted to the energy that the mind consciousness systems generate within me and to act on these thoughts, feelings and emotions as if they are ME, as if they are real. And so when I form addictions outside of myself they are mere reflections of what I have already accepted and allowed within myself as my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that thoughts and participating in thoughts is and addiction, as I can see that the thoughts I give attention and make valid within me gives me a certain experience where I indulge within and act out, live.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that the emotions I indulge within IS an addiction, as it is an energetic experience that I am giving power and authority to over myself and to let this chemical reactions as emotion that I created within me through my acceptances and allowances direct and create my world/life, no different than a drug addict, or alcoholic, or someone that cannot stop gambling, as those things are mere outer creations of how I create within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully see and realize that feelings are an addiction – a chemical reaction(s) that I create within myself through accepting and allowing certain thoughts and to participate within them to give me certain experiences to give something else power and control over me to decide for me how I must experience myself and to then create and live my live according to what I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot stop the addiction of the mind and that it is harmless, that it is innocent, that it does not affect anyone else, the same reasoning’s addicts have we have to why the mind is US and not a problem, not the cause of the problems, as we have developed to many reasons and justification to why the mind is amazing and never actually really investigating the effects and causes within the reality of us living as mind consciousness systems, till we become REAL addicts that are involved in porn, sex, alcohol, drugs name them all that then abuse and misuse what is here that causes the extensive pain and abuse within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just like a real addict find it hard to admit that I am addicted to the mind and that the mind has power and control over me, that thoughts, feelings and emotions control my live every day, no matter what I want to do, when a mood sets in, when someone else shout at me, when I am happy, I follow the energy, I follow the experience just like any addiction and addict does.

When the Failure Character takes over - application to correction is the way forward - Day 597



Self-correction takes one moment in self-directed movement to apply and live. This is an act of self-forgiveness if it is done within self-directed movement, not based on how you feel, it is to move and direct self regardless of how one feels and to breathe and move forward.

About a Month ago I started a 21 day challenge of writing Self-forgiveness in my blogs. I failed.
My failure did not come as me saying, Ok I am not doing it today, or I do not feel like doing it today, in fact it was my “desire” to write my blog for that day. Due to circumstances, I had no laptop, no internet and I was in a completely different environment the day I broke this challenge.

The Feeling of failure and disappointment came over me the following day, for not completing this challenge. I felt that I have not only failed me but everyone else that was following this challenge of mine, and even some that joined in on the same challenge.

I did not write a Blog that following day either, due to me still being in this different environment and having NO laptop, no internet, and I stayed at this different place for a week. I saw no possible way for me to continue with the challenge, I had my phone with me and some shared wifi at times.

After the week was over and already seven days of no writing happened, the judgement of failure has taken over to such an extent that I did not even feel like writing anymore, I felt that it was a waste of time now to continue with this challenge, the point of the challenge was missed, I had two options, starting over or not continue the challenge at all.

Then, another week passed, and I have done nothing. I have succumbed to my experience of failure, in fact I have now been living this failure, this failure has now become a norm, I have accepted and allowed it to exist as me, as who I am within this challenge, this point. Not only did it effect my writing, the challenge, I started seeing this point of failure coming through in all parts of my life, a sort of depression, giving up on things, and feeling like just not continuing doing what I have done in terms of writing, social media, showing my face, speaking out, placing my words, and standing openly, because of one point of failure, that I have judged instead of forgiving myself and starting over, has now effected all parts of life, without even noticing. It became normal actions, as it my life was changing naturally into that of a failure.

This is why I write today, because this is my actions of forgiving myself and letting go of what the mind took advantage of and directed my reality, and the real power lies within action/living, not thinking and festering within the mind on what happened, what was, who is judging me, me judging me, and getting lost in an alternate reality.

I expected forgiveness from others, I expected others to understand my situation, I expected approval from others to start over, that it is okay, Yet it never came, so I waited, one week after the other, and then another week more, no one was giving me the thumbs up to start over, only I had that power and authority, no matter how bad I have judged my failure, I must stop and forgive and start over for myself.

So I will from Monday/Tomorrow start over with my 21 days challenge of writing self-forgiveness and I will myself to walk this point for myself.

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