21 Days Self Forgiveness Challenge Day 1 (day 586) - Money

I am going to do a 21 Day self-forgiveness challenge, where I write a Blog every single day specifically with self-forgiveness. I encourage you to Join me on this 21 Days, I will be taking on all the Main topics and who I am currently within these Topics, this is Money, sex, relationships, work and so on.

Take Note, I do this Self Forgiveness not just on points of what is HERE but also what I have walked or from way back in the past. Yet everything remains relevant.

Day 1 – Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE money power over who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge money as good or bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people and their relationship towards money, with money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny that I like money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny that I want money.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that it is the reasons for why I want or desire money that matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying I want money and lots of it to change this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being direct with working with money within my purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as BAD for wanting money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as bad for wanting money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build morality around money as if it defines who I am, yet I must define money around who I am, and as long as I stand for life, as that which is best for all life, then money can never define me, but only aid in my purpose to being about equality on earth for ALL life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR the system and how the system will view me as the people if I am openly saying I need Billions to change this world and I need to people to do so, and I thus need to money to make shit move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the system has programmed me to Fear making money openly, and having lots of it openly for the right reasons, as the system wants to keep it secret, where only those that makes Billions can do so in secret and get away with greed and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that if I have a lot of money that the system will judge me, seeing and realizing that it is only me judging me based on my believes that I have created towards money and those that have it, seeing and realizing that I am not judging money, I am judging what others with LOTS of money has done with that money and it has never been what is best for all life, and so I have confused money with Evil and missed the point of who is making the money do what it is doing, the human, and thus I see and realize this is how the system scares people away from money, so that only the evil remains in control of the money pot, and not those that actually care about LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have denied myself the facts of who I am with money and when I have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted MONEY as something that is PERSONAL between a person and themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a touchy subject in LIFE with myself and with other people’s money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE the money people have and what I have as MINE or THEIRS and thus it is very personal to talk about, in fact something to avoid, something to help others keep secret, and this only comes from my secret relationship that I have created with money and know that I cannot speak openly about MY money matters and thus must “respect” other people’s money matters as well, in other words, other people’s secrets., thus only respecting money control, money enslavement, secret mind shit, dishonesty, evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will make enemies when and as I speak and talk about other people’s money or question them about their money, as I see and realize that this is only my fear and how I will react to others if they had to question my money spending, and what I do with my money, while I claim a GOOD soul, that I am a good person, yet my bank account will only show that I care about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HIDE my money reasoning within me as a secret, how much money I truly have, how I actually spend my money, where my money actually goes, as I know my relationship towards money is deceptive and dishonest and will never be able to stand in front of LIFE and say, this is how I spend my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take QUICKLY advantage of the money that I do have while I have it, knowing Billions does not have the money, and to indulge in MY own life, and to only quickly, just for now enjoy my money, to fuck around with the money I have, as the system knows, every man is only in it for himself, and that’s why money can never be used or directed to change a better world, because no one will be able to give up his secret ways of how he is spending money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have choice as long as I have money YET I can never make the choice of spending my money to bring about a world that is best for all life, that I will only care about my own self-interest, my own personal life and improvement, yet my money must only remain with me, it is mine, yet claim I am not greedy, that those other people are greedy, yet I am living like a little roach, in secret collecting my own shit to stock up my own life, equally the same, and Place blame and judgement to those that do the same but only with MORE and bigger amounts of money, thus still blaming the money instead of seeing that the nature within me that I accept and allow is within all, and thus I cannot cast a stone, as I am equally as guilty as any other man/women that I say is evil, that I say is greedy, because our natures are the same and as long as I accept and allow this nature within me, then I in their shoes would do exactly the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HIDE away from my responsibility towards LIFE behind money, in fear of having to GIVEUP my money to support life, to support what is best for all life, and to within this only give as little as possible to make myself feel good, through charities, through NPO’s and through all the ways the system is giving false outlets to make one feel good to where change is happening, yet nothing is changing as the giving isn’t real, it is feeling based, and nothing will change, because as self is the direct reflection of not wanting to actually change and give up all your money to bring about a world that is best for all life, so why would charities of NPO’s change the world? They are only as good and strong and genuine as I/you are, and that’s currently really weak, because weakness is supporting weakness and thus supporting each others abuse, as long as YOU/I can feel good and the charities and NPO’s religions, name them all are making you feel good, then well, mission accomplished. Because it is always minimal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give money power over LIFE, over my beingness, over my Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by money, the picture of money, the numbers that resemble money and to be consumed by the energy within me created through that stimulation in that moment of seeing money, where this energy takes over any awareness point within me and my life starts revolving around money, what I can do with the money, how I will spend the money, how my life suddenly have a relieve.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to money, where if I receive my pay check – that moment is the same as me receiving a needle in my arm, where I feel good for a moment, even though I had to sell my body and soul all month to receive this money, and to in that moment of being high forget everything, where I will now gladly move again within the same routine for the next month just to receive that cash injection, that security, and as I go along with the month and I spend my money out of fear of not having money, besides on basic needs, just so that I can feel I had money, I could spend money, even if it means having that one take away meal, and as the money run dry during the month, I go into a total polarity, where anxiety and fears are once again revealed, as if I am withdrawing from the high and going into the low, working harder, and wishing the month will end now just so that I can get that high again, that cash injection and so repeat, seeing and realizing that I am an addict to money, I am a slave to money as long as I continue this mind relationship within energy towards money. Instead of doing the same, but not for the pay-check living, but instead directing each month as practical as I can and to not go into the junky mode and spend my money of what I know can bring change, or create it as what’s best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blind to this relationship that I have created towards money within myself, where I am actually a junky, a capitalist junky that enjoys an unequal system, even though it is abusive to me and towards everyone else.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that this relationship of a junky that I have created towards and with money is exactly how the system has designed the money system, as the system was designed by US/HUMANS and that we as humans know that we actually have no clue who we are and thus we can give into energy and enjoy the ride of a junky, as long as it gives us a “purpose” and meaning in this life, running from pay check to pay check, getting high for a while, does not matter how long it lasts, a homeless man receiving even a few coins a month and barely feeding himself is still, equally trapped by this money junky system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BLAME money for the relationship I have created and accepted and allowed towards and with it, and to within this Blame become lame, and so I play innocent as if I am trapped in this fear, this survival, this point of struggling, yet it is my addiction to money that is the real problem, the money going in and out, and how my relationship changes as my survival is challenged every single time, yet doing nothing to change this system, as the junky is addicted and only cares for the injections and to survive as long as possible to have this high till death.

I forgive myself that I haven’t seen and realized that it is my relationship that I have towards money that is my problem and not money in itself, and as soon as I change the relationship I have towards money, can I actually start working with money properly, as money must have NO control over me, no matter how the mind wants to rationalize it, no matter how the minds want to induce fear for me to fall a slave to an energy system of enslavement, I must stand and I must breathe and I must move and direct myself with money always as what is best for all life and NOT just for myself, or I am simply supporting my addiction, and we know how clever an addict is to keep on having his high.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the fact that my life is in controlled by and through money and how much money I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame money for how I am experiencing myself as, and within survival within this world, and that my life is constantly threatened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate money and the money system when I do not have money, when there is a lack of money and to only want to change the world and want a different world when I do not have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to love money when I have money, when I can do what I want to do, and to forget about the world and everyone else when I have money and to completely forget about all my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a love/hate relationship within and towards this world system of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by money through having a love/hate relationship towards money and the world system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have developed a polarity based relationship towards money within myself, where I fear for money and indulge within money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a secret mind relationship with and towards money within myself, where I feel in control and powerful when and as I do have money, but as soon as the money runs out, I feel powerless and weak and like everything is out of control, unpredictable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I have directly created who I am as my relationship with myself with money, where who I am changes as money in my reality changes, depending on how much or little I have.

Temptation, I can't resist - Day 585

Thou shall not lead me into temptation is something that I have been looking at within my life. This temptation point is something that we all must consider in our lives in a MUCH deeper dimension.

Most of us think of temptation as something sinful, like I am led into temptation by another women and then I have sex with her and cheated on my partner – or I am at a party and my friend are using drugs and so I am led into temptation and I also took some drugs.

YET – we are missing the biggest picture of where temptation actually fucks us all over on a daily basis, and this temptation isn’t coming from someone else influencing us, anything that can temp us is a inherent temptation and thus we must deal with it, but how we are LIVING temptation on a daily basis is something hidden in plain sight. Let me explain.

Who you are is a Temptation within all its dimensions – are your LIFE or are you SYSTEM, system is what is HERE currently, that which we see all the time, the advertisements on billboards or TV or on the Radio is the Small temptations compared to the LIVING temptation as what we do that stems from who we are. the real temptation is US and our personal living that is shined onto the world.

a small example:

So Coca Cola advertises a Soda, it is tempting you, it is there on a board, you see it, you might even just see it indirectly, but it looks so good, the colors on the board, the words that create a good feeling, a positive feeling, It might say something like, Thirst quenching in the Summer with Friends and a person is holding up a coke bottle in his hands and drinking it while somehow smiling – you now MAKE the decision to sometime during your day, or even in a week to go and buy a coke, you Buy this coke and you now have it in your hands, you as a Person, a human being that is the reflection of all other humans beings as example regardless of what you think or believe of yourself, you are a Model in every breathe, you walk with this coke, you have identified yourself as a coke drinker, you walk with Pride with this coke in the streets, or at your home you have this coke in your fridge where your friends see this coke, or family, and to you it is all “normal” – but one thing isn’t considered, this is YOU leading everyone else into temptation that YOU have a personal responsibility to that lives with you, that sees you, that identifies with you, so you are now a person leading other into temptation – Because people are weak minded (it is evident all around us), their minds are not their own, they are influenced JUST like how you were/are and ME, and so the cycle of temptation keep on going in circles. And this is what keeps the system alive, moving, going, people buying and becoming tempted all the time by everything, especially if you see your fellow "responsible" humans doing it, is by “referral” and what I simply call temptation.

Take another example – when someone shares a video on a social network that is of Kittens, you are tempted, you must click on it, then you feel you must share it, so now you are deliberately tempting everyone else to also spend their time on this video, you are a cause in the chain of what people start seeing and believing as being important, worth it, spending time on, doing. It seems innocent. But isn’t that were the greatest evil can take its cover? Unnoticed, blanketed in something that seem to not have any effect on life? The small things, the detail – there is literally a saying that says, the devil is in the detail.

Once we see and realize that we are Temples of temptation that advertise our religions of ourselves and thus tempting others to live and do the same, we can really start considering everything we do and checking ourselves. This is not to judge a point, this is not to be positive or negative about what is here in this world, it is to become aware of when we do something, what are the consequential outflows of our actions that we are not considering at all, how are we Tempting and LEADING others into temptation, yes we all must be self-responsible, but then we must start living that and rather lead others into the temptation of becoming self-responsible, not keep doing what we have always done and justify our actions with, but they are responsible for themselves, we are NOT yet self-responsible, not to mention even responsible human beings, we are pre-programmed humans, copies that simply do what we see, and specifically what we have been programmed to do as children, of which we have NO memory or idea what is there inside of us.

For example, those that do follow my blogs and what I write, see how you have created already an Image, idea, placed me as a temptation within your mind towards a certain point in life, a representation in your own life ( I know this because I know I do the same), now let’s say I stop everything I am doing right now as standing up for life, walking openly my process with Desteni as a Destonian, exposing myself and what I do and walk, Standing for Equality for all life, common sense, practicality, self-forgiveness, what temptation would that create within everyone that has known me for years, that has read my blogs, seen my vlogs, my hangouts, what I share and stand for?
That everyone else can do the same, perhaps not now immediately with me, but in a year or two, those that stand with will be like, well Gian did it, so why not me. This example goes for those that “know” me. But you can take this to your own life and see it for yourself. I use this extreme example to show, that it happens all the time, we are led into temptation and we are LEADING others into temptation through every single action, word, thing we do in this world all the time, is it best for all life or NOT, OR is it mind based habits, patterns that direct us as our thoughts and feelings and emotions that is done within absolute dishonor towards LIFE and of inequality and only self-indulgence, which is in short ignorance and thus tempting EVERYONE else to do the same.
Take a look at the word temptation and the implications it has in a literal sense on your direct and indirect reality, and we will see the cause of our problems much more. In everything you DO. Lets rather TEMPT the world to be that which is best for all life, for equality, for real change, and this must start with ourselves, we can tempt those around us to want to JOIN equality, self forgiveness, to want to remove brainwashing and mind-control, to become CO-Creators of life and to rebirth ourselves as LIFE. till we are all FREE and temptation can not effect anyone as we all will stand as Creators, equals, full self-responsibility in awareness of LIFE.

and just to clarify, this is about taking it BACK to SELF, not to BLAME anything or anyone, that's actually tempting others to then do the same and so no one ever stands up and we all just blame and become lame.

Drinking
Smoking
Drugs
Candy
Partying
buying plastic bags
supporting big corporations instead of local Markets/people
indulging in entertainment
Playing games a Lot
watching TV a lot
sitting and doing nothing a lot
gambling
only focusing on personal relationships
mind on sex all the time
stress about survival
nagging
complaining
throwing rubbish out the car window
neglecting pets
indulging in pets
painting
building
activism
being stupid
joking all the time
writing blogs on world problems and solutions
making vlogs on world problems and solutions
what you share on social networks
where you like things all over the internet,
where you spend most of your time
the cloths you wear
how you wear your cloths
the face you pull mostly
the words you speak
the behaviors you have
the patterns you live daily

I can write down everything in existence here, literally, the question must always be, is it best for all LIFE, is it practical, is it self-honest (to develop self-honesty one must apply a LOT of self-forgiveness on all points) can your LIFE style be lived by every single human being on earth and what will the outcome of earth be then?

Thou Shall not lead me into temptation = the MIND shall not lead me into temptation to LIVE out the mind and self-interest as the mind is MY tool and not ME, I will stand and BE the directive principle and the Authority of ME, thus I WILL myself to be AWARE of me and what is HERE within all dimensions to stand as the solution one and equal to the problem that is here, and live it in each breathe.

Investigate desteni.org - free yourself from all temptations through taking self-responsibility as a co-creator of life.