Gian's Journey to Life.: 2013-02-24

Day 295 – Charming Character on the Job P1

Day 295 – Charming Character on the Job P1

In my Job I have been working at for the last two weeks I have already faced a few moments where I had to stand my ground, and not to be soft or kind, as that will not get me anywhere.

So the other day I went a LONGGG distance to deliver papers to a guy for him, the papers had to be filled first at a department then given to him, this never happened because the department required more stuff, the other guy did not get his papers and now it’s a long journey still before all that can happen.

When I went back to my town to my work place, the one women there said to me, Gian you did not try and charm the ladies that side, because charming won’t get you everywhere, you had to speak up and make it happen and you could have gotten it done.

So I saw the point, it was great support and assistance, I am glad she wasn’t shy to tell me that as most people would be.

So the point I am looking at is, believing that charming my way into everything is the only way and being kind and nice, it isn’t a Must way to go, it can be a expression of me, but I must not be bound to it, I have to be able to move myself from that charming kindness/softness to be direct, to be loud, to stand my ground and to get shit done when it is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Charming myself with everyone will always get me where I need to go and what I need to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that charming as being kind and soft has its limits to how far I can go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to charm people, seeing and realizing that I simply have to breathe and express myself one and equal to and as the situation here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my communication and how far I can go within my communication through Identifying myself as being that guy that is only charming and thus Chances can be taken with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that taking on a character of one quality limits me within the quality of that character, instead I see and I realize that I do not have to take on a character of any sort to talk and communicate with people effectively without friction or conflict happening unnecessary, but that I can instead simply direct myself as myself as a physical being with a physical expression one and equal within what is here that is not limited or confided as a character but that I can be flexible and movable without energy to direct the situation in the moment as required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the fear of breaking character when and as I see that I need to stand up for myself and make a point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when and as I take on a character such as “Charming guy” that I also within that create the fear of breaking the character through having to be loud and direct and speaking up, as I have already placed limits on the character and installed the character into others of me giving them permission to fuck around with me, instead I see that it is to not be a charming guy as a character, but that it is to be me in every moment one and equal and to always BREATH and not o create set in stone characters, but instead to create me as Who I am living by principal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I have to speak up and to make things happen to go into the fear of breaking the character I was playing in the fear of that If I break the character that other people will also break character and then there will be chaos. Seeing and realizing that the fear is of me fearing that I will break character within reaction that is of energy that causes friction and thus everyone starts having friction and so we have a explosion, instead seeing and realizing that it is to break character within breathing with no energy where it is me directing every movement, every word and not to react but to direct practically.

To be continued on Self forgiveness and Commitment statements.

Fear the Boss Part9.2 – Day 294

Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290
Fear Part 7 Day 291

Fear Part 8 Day 292 - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/fear-part-9-boss-day-293.html#sthash.ocbB4Ojq.dpuf

Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290
Fear Part 7 Day 291 - See more at: http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/02/fear-part-9-boss-day-293.html#sthash.ocbB4Ojq.dpuf

Fear Part 1 Day 285

Fear the Boss Part9.2 – Day 294

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear the idea of having a boss watching everything I do to check if I am worth his money as a employee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as useless just being an employee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the boss can not be a boss without the employee’s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as nothing in the eyes of the boss.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that in the eyes of a boss the employee’s are simply the money makers that he employs that are replaceable if we do not make money/work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the fact in the work place that I am replaceable at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through fearing the fact that I am replaceable through acting in ways that is not helping me just to try and attempt to avoid the fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose confidence once the boss approaches me, not seeing that within losing confidence when the boss approaches me is a sign of weakness to him which makes me a bad employee within the job I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the boss yelling at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the boss disliking me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things between me and the boss personal, seeing and realizing that it is always just business and thus I can stop the personal point and correct myself instead and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it is a self honest point as always and not a fear point as to what needs to be done for me to keep my job as to make money to be able to be supported in the current system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that to survive in the system does not mean I have to sell myself as who I am to survive as long as I am the one standing as the decision at all times within who I am and thus any changes that is made to keep the job and to do the job effectively isn’t a change as WHO I AM but a change as to what is required self honestly temporarily within the current system till it is done and we change this god for saken world into a place that is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I go into fear of the boss when and as I see him in my space to stop and to breathe and to stop the initial thoughts/back chat that I participated within that created the Fear and to breathe and be here practically within self honesty focusing on the physical within doing my job.

I commit myself to stop and to breathe when and as I see that I am compromising myself within trying and attempting to be honest with others instead of being self honest with myself within what is required of me to do what needs to be done, to stop and to breathe and to stop any energetic movements within me that is compromising me.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself compromising myself and sabotaging myself through going into self believes of morality to stop and to breathe and to apply myself practically within what is here to work and do what’s required to be done – seeing and realizing that I know who I am so I will and cannot lose myself Standing by principal all ways doing what’s best for all life within each action each breathe.

Fear Part 1 Day 285

Fear Part 9 The Boss – Day 293

Continue from:
Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290
Fear Part 7 Day 291

Fear Part 8 Day 292

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the Boss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the man who employes me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the man who I haven't even met yet that employes me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the boss within the fear of losing my job if I upset him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that fearing the boss will prevent me from upsetting him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that upsetting the boss will get me fired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear upsetting the boss when if MIGHT seem to HIM that I ma not working hard enough for the money he is paying me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Fear isnt necessary to use simple self honesty within what and how I act do things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear losing money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and as my boss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the fear is of my own judgments of the boss and myself in relation to the Symbolism of a BOSS.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the Idea of a boss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the System Symbolism of a BOSS as the authority that decides who gets money and who does not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself in relation to a BOSS.

I will continue on the boss point tomorrow.

Fear of Bats and rabies Day 292 Part 8

Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290
Fear Part 7 Day 291

I go the bat from the fly trap, I gently pulled the wings of and allowed the bat to climb off the rest of the way, The the bat was sitting on the Brick, he did not move, I realized his wings was all clamped together from the extreme stickiness of the fly trap, I breathed and realized this is going to take time, I gave myself all the time needed to do it, I let go of everything else I still had to do, so that I know the time I am with the bat is for and of complete support and assistance with nothing else in my head, me here breathing, the bat was shivering.

I was avoiding to touch the bat, the bat can have rabies, I looked at the bat and I had a small sadness I have fear of rabies - the bat needs my help or the bat dies, I fear dying from rabies, here is a animal that literally will not make it without my TOUCH, with my bare hands helping him/her, I cannot use cloves, it will contradict helping the bat covered with stickiness.

I used a stick to move the bat, I saw that I was simply creating separation which equals fear, I breathed and I let go of all emotions/thoughts inside of me, I equalized myself with a tree a rock which a bat does not fear and thus will not bite, I had no fear. I touched the bat carefully and the bat climbed onto my hand, I held the bat for a while to give some heat and comfort.

the bat started cleaning himself randomly while between my two hands. I was consistent within my breathing, I cannot allow any thought/fear/emotion, I am here with the bat, it becomes a enjoyment of doing, the bat and I were getting to know each other, we are comfortable, this took a few moments of sudden interactions/confrontations.

The bat climbs up to the tip of my Pinky finger and tries to stretch his wings, he is incapable, I pull on his wing to separate it, as I open it up he starts cleaning immediately on the spots, he is getting poison in, I see there is in the moment no other way. I cannot clean it with the stuff we have, it will tear the sensitive wings and only harm. it is up to the bat to clean and to get it ready, I am only a helping hand till it is done, we keep doing this for a few moments/minute, he can open his wings and stretch it, I am glad.

Suddenly the bats jumps off and fly, I know this is all I can do, the bat flies quite a distance and only going higher into the darkness.

I take a deep breath and I let go. I realized how my fear would have killed the bat f I did not stand clear in oneness and equality, the possibility of rabies was there, but once the fear was gone and the PHYSICAL communication was established, rabies was no more.

Trust is a Physical action, not emotional mind bullshit. so much is possible on this planet for all life - we must start to change what we have created and accepted and allowed in the name of separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within considering a practical point of that the bat might have rabies within maybe biting me so go into thoughts of me getting abies dn what it might be like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought that is built from the knowledge and information I have gathered from others that the bat can carry rabies where I see myself getting bitten by the bat and having rabies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to REACT towards the thought of me having raboes and to within that go into FEAR of the bat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within going into fear of the bat react towards the bat and to within the create separation within me towards the bat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the thought in itself is already separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form the bat within fear and self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting rabies from a bat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the knowledge and information that I got from others to use it as a justification for why I am going into fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the knowledge and information I got from others as a reason for separation, instead of seeing and realizing it is to use the knowledge and information as practicality and common sense to apply it within what’s best for all and to only keep what is good and that makes sense and to not use it for self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the harm I am doing within acting and behaving within fear towards animals/humans as all my actions will be of separation and thus cause friction and so create energy that leads to harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the only reason the bat will bite me is if I have any other movement within me other then my physical movement, as the movement within me that comes from thoughts that moves to energy, that is always unpredictable which then makes me a danger and thus to be feared, and so open myself for attack/harm because I am not one being but many entities, the bat knows this, if I touch the bat and my heart beat which the bat picks up instantly even by breathe isn’t consistent then the bat knows there is something else. That cannot be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if I did not trust myself to touch the bat that there was other options to helping, and that fear was still not needed and that I could help either way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider letting the bat rather die then me just because I have a fear.

Once I started knowing the bat after a while, I was stunned with how the bat was exactly like a dog, only with wings, so CUTE and liking itself and cleaning and moving and doing the things, so fluffy and warm and all in my hand and on my fingers, with no intention of biting at all. The bat knew he was save now and could work, do his thing, I had to be slow and very careful in my movements, I had to move ME as my body, and this way the bat allowed it and did not go into fear/anxiety which is survival which is then going to biting mode.

As a kid I played with bats ALL the time, placing them on my shirts and underneath my shirts and let them hang from my skin and all kinds of stuff, I stopped doing it because people told me they were dirty and full of disease and disgusting – I started building fear around the point and that was it. No more communication.

I felt like a child again tonight being here with the bat, I also felt sad for what I have done/accepted and allowed all these years to be real to be the absolute truth and to be feared and to live such fear.
To be continued.

Fear Part 7 Day 291 No Morality

Continuing from:

Fear Part 1 Day 285
Fear Part 2 Day 286
Fear Part 3 Day 287
Fear Part 4 Day 288
Fear Part 5 Day 289
Fear Part 6 Day 290

I fear Not having any morality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of morality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing what needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the idea that I will become a monster if I let go of morality, seeing and realizing that this is not the point at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect no morality to being a monster without it, seeing and realizing that letting go of morality is to let go of the morals within me as the beliefs I have of myself as what I am capable of doing or not as a point of allowing myself to grow and expand without letting anything holding me back such as fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am my morals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be limited by my own morals of hat is right and what is wrong, instead of simply using common sense within the principal of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I stop my morals that I will lose myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my morals hold be back from who I see I can be when and as the moments is here as the windows of opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that If I let go of my morals that other peoples wont know who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself t fear that other people wont know who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not know who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a definition of morals as to who I am, instead of being a being living within a principal of what is bets for all life that is not limited within a set morals as who I am but limited within what is right and what is wrong for all life as a whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create more fear for myself within living in a set rules of morality in a world that clearly has no morality and to within that compromise myself and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being direct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear being honest when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stop pleasing everyone and to start focusing on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief it is wrong to stop pleasing everyone and to focus on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is wrong to be honest with someone and that the right thing is to rather pretend and to lie as if everything is good, even when it means compromising myself and my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief it is wrong to be direct with people and that it is only right to manipulate and make them feel differently before asking/telling what is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of that which I am used to as normal, seeing and realizing that that which I am used to as my morals isnt always what is best for myself or anyone else when it is compromising my life and what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my morality as the personality I have created hold me back from doing what is the common sense thing to do within the principal o what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my morals hold me back from being self honest with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back through believing my morals to guide me instead of me guiding me within self honesty and common sense within what is best for all life.

Gian's Journey to Life.

Day 295 – Charming Character on the Job P1

Fear the Boss Part9.2 – Day 294

Fear Part 9 The Boss – Day 293

Fear of Bats and rabies Day 292 Part 8

Fear Part 7 Day 291 No Morality

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