In my Job I have been working at for the last two weeks I have already faced a few moments where I had to stand my ground, and not to be soft or kind, as that will not get me anywhere.
So the other day I went a LONGGG distance to deliver papers to a guy for him, the papers had to be filled first at a department then given to him, this never happened because the department required more stuff, the other guy did not get his papers and now it’s a long journey still before all that can happen.
When I went back to my town to my work place, the one women there said to me, Gian you did not try and charm the ladies that side, because charming won’t get you everywhere, you had to speak up and make it happen and you could have gotten it done.
So I saw the point, it was great support and assistance, I am glad she wasn’t shy to tell me that as most people would be.
So the point I am looking at is, believing that charming my way into everything is the only way and being kind and nice, it isn’t a Must way to go, it can be a expression of me, but I must not be bound to it, I have to be able to move myself from that charming kindness/softness to be direct, to be loud, to stand my ground and to get shit done when it is needed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Charming myself with everyone will always get me where I need to go and what I need to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that charming as being kind and soft has its limits to how far I can go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to charm people, seeing and realizing that I simply have to breathe and express myself one and equal to and as the situation here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my communication and how far I can go within my communication through Identifying myself as being that guy that is only charming and thus Chances can be taken with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that taking on a character of one quality limits me within the quality of that character, instead I see and I realize that I do not have to take on a character of any sort to talk and communicate with people effectively without friction or conflict happening unnecessary, but that I can instead simply direct myself as myself as a physical being with a physical expression one and equal within what is here that is not limited or confided as a character but that I can be flexible and movable without energy to direct the situation in the moment as required.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the fear of breaking character when and as I see that I need to stand up for myself and make a point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when and as I take on a character such as “Charming guy” that I also within that create the fear of breaking the character through having to be loud and direct and speaking up, as I have already placed limits on the character and installed the character into others of me giving them permission to fuck around with me, instead I see that it is to not be a charming guy as a character, but that it is to be me in every moment one and equal and to always BREATH and not o create set in stone characters, but instead to create me as Who I am living by principal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I have to speak up and to make things happen to go into the fear of breaking the character I was playing in the fear of that If I break the character that other people will also break character and then there will be chaos. Seeing and realizing that the fear is of me fearing that I will break character within reaction that is of energy that causes friction and thus everyone starts having friction and so we have a explosion, instead seeing and realizing that it is to break character within breathing with no energy where it is me directing every movement, every word and not to react but to direct practically.
To be continued on Self forgiveness and Commitment statements.