When and as I see that I am thinking – I stop, I breathe and I focus my attention on breathing, within the realization that the thinking isn’t real as it require me to “think” about which is the same as making stuff up.
Thus I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking to stop and breathe and to Not suppress what I was thinking about, but to see why I was thinking, what was behind the point, to be self-honest with myself – to be brutal with myself in my self-honesty and to really get down to earth and earth myself as breathe and to stop floating around in my head.
When and as I see that I am justifying why I need the mind through using the mind, I stop. I breathe, seeing and realizing that when and as I breathe and focus on breathing I notice a very peculiar thing, the justifications suddenly is gone and the need for the mind is gone and was never real.
When and as I see myself going into back-chat as internal gossip with myself about others/things in life, I stop. I breathe, I focus myself as my breathe within and as my body as my reality as the physical and to be here in real time in fact, where whatever I was back-chatting about is instantly useless and debunked as made up shit.
When and as I see myself moving or not moving myself within a certain experience of myself which mostly is that of fear, I stop. I breathe and I focus on my natural breathing that is already naturally happening/being done and I focus on my breathe till it stabilizes and I move from and as that breathe of stability within my reality within real time as breathe.
When and as I see that I am using the mind to impose deliberate limitations onto myself as a way to manipulate myself and my reality in spite of others or myself as a way of literally limiting myself for the sake of being spiteful within what I can do or cannot do I stop, I breathe. I focus on my breathing and how my breathe goes in and out of my body in and out of existence as the universe and I move as the universe as the physical where I do not accept and allow myself to be any limitation or lesser version of myself as that which I know I can be.
When and as I see that I am giving my focus/attention my being to the mind as who I am within each moment and what I am capable of or not, I stop. I breathe and I see what is here in fact as the physical as I stabilize myself as my breathe and as my body and as me here in actual real EYES.
I see and realize that this is a new way that I must practice and give my attention to, my focus and to be discipline within walking this new way as the principle of life of oneness and equality and doing what best for all life in all ways, as I see and realize the plan, and as this is the plan to live I discipline myself within each moment to breathe and stand up if I fall and to do this till I become it as who I am, as I see and realize that as I created myself as the mind through practice, through space and time so must I equally create myself as life one and equal.
When and as I see that I am faced with a point of self-experience within myself, where I am within any self believe or disbelieve of myself, I stop, I breathe and I use what is in fact here as the physical to check my points and to have real cross reference, as I see and realize that when I stop the mind through breathing, focusing my breathe and bringing awareness into my body as/with my breathe as myself and so into my reality as me here, I can see when the mind is stopped if what was within the mind was actually real, which I know is never real, it’s made up.
When and as I see myself NOT focusing my breath, I stop. I Breathe, I do not judge myself I do not hold that which was within my mind within what I was participating within against myself, as I see and realize that holding it against myself I will only do it again and again and time loop and get myself stuck within the mind, and thus I commit myself to Forgive myself in that moment or to write the points out and write/apply self-forgiveness and to move on as breathe unconditionally for and as myself.
I see and Understand that it is not to suppress the mind, to hide the mind or to block the mind, it is to use breathing as myself to walk through the mind, to understand the mind, yet not to get stuck in it, to do this within self-honesty and common sense and to understand the mechanics of how I created myself as the mind, as understanding gives way to standing up and to stop standing under everything and to stand one and equal with what is here, with what I have accepted and allowed to exist. And to then through this re birth myself as the physical at the same time, as I remove the mind through understanding and self-forgiveness/not separation, I have my support, my reference as the breath as the physical for what I am standing as that which is real and matters… as the physical is the matter that we all exist as, as a matter of fact.
I commit myself to walk this process breath by breathe in patience within real time, to not miss the points that can be seen and walked and to commit myself to this process till it is done, till all are free one and equal and we all walk as one as the physical, the one reality we all share in fact, as we all can see that together and confirm it together and thus our oneness is here as the physical and not the mind, as the mind has many alternate realities only each one is aware of for themselves and thus really all made up and still this is what we accept and allow to direct our lives/our world. How is that even possible?
Breathe – as the universe as matter, an action of expanding and contracting, all is here. Breathe is U in reverse, from the mind to breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown of Breathe, No mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create expectations of myself and what I might do and not do when and as I am breathing instead of thinking, seeing and realizing that within this I can already see within myself that it is I am contemplating about doing or not doing, should I or should I not, can I or can I not, and thus when and as I breathe I can see myself simply doing it what needs to be done with no mind creating a fear/reaction to stop me from moving as breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word Breathe as something irrelevant that I don’t need to focus on or be aware of as it happens naturally anyway, seeing and realizing this is an act of ignorance and thus reflecting what I am living as, as Ignorance of what is here, as this is clearly reflecting within reality where we are all in ignorance of what is here in fact and thus leading back to ourselves with something as simple as one breathe and not being aware or focused on one breathe even.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is within breathe, the cutting edge of Time as breathe of life that I am here as life, that I move as life, and that I have no fear, and when I have no fear I see and realize all that which I fear will not exist and I will be open and clear and able to do what I have always protected myself from doing and standing up and speaking and learning and really live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define breathing as something dumb to focus on when I can rather spend my time focusing on things in the mind and make my time valuable as that which I am thinking about might come handy in time, and when I am not thinking I am not preparing and not readying myself for the future, seeing and realizing that this is a paranoia system design with me where I live in the future as paranoia and thus feel compulsive to be in my mind thinking and preparing and basically creating fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually for real LIVE and Be life in fact through each and every breathe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to the mind as having a purpose of some great value and that somehow I must defend the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to defend the mind in the reasoning that I have a mind and thus it must mean it means something or has some great purpose.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend the mind, instead of breathing and letting go and being here, seeing and realizing that standing as a single breathe of LIFE I am here as LIFE in all dimensions and thus no thinking required as all is here as me and thus thinking is but a process of the mind compromising self as breathe to move as life one and equal in fact within what is here to compromise self for the minds own purpose of generating energy for its own survival.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the mind must survive for me to survive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when and as I give all my trust to and as breathe in each moment that my survival will be in danger.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all my life my survival has been dependent on the mind and thus as my evidence of me still being here alive as a result of living in my mind I have learned to only trust my mind, seeing and realizing that this is self-deception as it is my breathe in fact that has been keeping me alive and all I have done was never lived, but hide in fear and in characters and personalities in fear of dying but never live, seeing and realizing that what the fuck is the purpose of surviving then when I have never lived, BE life as who I am in fact in essence as my being s as my flesh and not the mind as energy as the past as memories as that which will simply be deleted at death.
to be continued
Day 409 - Breathe part 1
So simple yet so difficult, why is focusing on breathing at all times difficult, breathing already happens naturally, all I have to do is focus and be aware of my breathe, and as my breathe focus on my body and be aware of my body, and as I am aware of my body I am here and so aware of all my senses. Physical senses, and thus aware of my environment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have given all my focus/awareness as myself as my body as the physical reality to my Mind only, as my thoughts/feelings/emotions and all internal experiences of and as the mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Give all my focus/awareness as my Breathe as my body as the physical reality to my mind, within my mind within the mind consciousness systems as energy, as thoughts/feelings and emotions, seeing and realizing that through focusing myself within my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions instead of breathe, I have no awareness of myself as my body as the physical reality and thus I cannot live fully as a living being but only function as a robot as reactions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the mind more then what I trust my breathe, thus go into the mind instead of remaining here within breathe, seeing and realizing that within my past I made decisions within myself within certain moments/scenarios/situations to rather hide within my mind instead of remaining here as breathe directing myself and reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust within what I do and how I do things within my mind within a process of thinking/calculating, instead of breathing and being HERE as all that is here and directing myself accordingly in each breathe which isn’t determined by a process of thinking/delaying and that have reactions and conflicts, seeing and realizing that as the physical as my breathe in each moment in real time, I can make real decisions based on what is here (here being a moment of all that is here as the physical as me as the physical as breathe) and thus move myself in alignment with the physical/life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live/escape into my mind out of fear of my environment, the people within my environment and having to interact with them, fear of other people taking advantage of me or stepping over me, and so instead of breathing and remaining here I go into my mind as my battle station where I can always feel ready to defend or attack, as I use the mind as the past to prepare myself for moments, seeing and realizing that the mind is a creation of the past/history and thus when and as I go and live within my mind I am living staying in the past as a way of my Ammo, where I have all my ammo ready to use my physical as a weapon to speak or move against others to attempt to prevent my fears from becoming real or facing myself as those fears.
Thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that I actually Fear being here as the physical as my breathe = because that means forgiving, and facing each moment as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be, instead of just hiding within my mind as the past defending who I have accepted and allowed myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the mind as a way to escape, my here moment of facing myself, correcting myself and to NOT hide in the past as the mind as consciousness as thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the mind, to Stop and to breathe and to NOT go into my battle station, my defense systems as the mind consciousness systems and to Live for real in each breathe, each moment new and me directing myself as the physical as my breathe one and equal and to stop defending my limitations/reasons/excuses/justifications and all that I have ever created about myself as my personality as fears and insecurities based on past experiences.
To be continued.
I have been a bit sick for the past three days, with a saw throat, a slight headache and some throat pains and many body pains all ...
This blog might come forth as me being hard on myself, as I know I place a certain expectation onto myself, but I do this to shoot for t...
This blog has some cool points in general for someone not familiar with Desteni, I write this blog mostly for the community I am within ...
Story: I am 6 years old, there is a party of some sorts at my home. Lots of people have shown up. Everyone is walking around or sitting...