Day 445 - The Burden, and the Story of True Potential Part 4



Day 442 - The Burden, and the Story of True Potential Part1
Day 443 - The Burden, and the Story of True Potential Part 2
Day 444 - The Burden, and the Story of True Potential Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Burden myself with the thought I have and not stopping them, to keep them repeating and accumulating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that each time I have a thought that it is accumulating and not just the same one from yesterday, that I am copying the thought and pasting it within my present from the past, and in the end filling up myself with the same thought thousands of times, and to within this everyday experiencing myself the same way. As being burdened with this thought/thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I will everyday have to do with the same Physical reality and that if I create memories of each day and thus thoughts/feelings/emotions, that I will everyday repeat these memories/thoughts/feelings/emotions as I encounter my physical reality, and thus I now have to deal with two realities, one which is internal and then reality that is here, instead of breathing and NOT creating memories/thoughts/feelings/emotions and thus only have to deal with one reality which is here as the physical, thus seeing and realizing how through creating memories of each day within my reality that I will burden myself with having to deal thoughts/feelings/emotions while inevitably dealing with reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compartmentalize my day – where I create a mental Idea of each part of my day that has to come, the same as the day before, and to within this prepare myself mentally for each compartment of my day through repeating certain thinking patterns and thoughts and thus the experiences that comes with from the past experience – and to repeat this every day the same way – where my day is not already lived in my head as the past and thus never living but simply recreating the past and experiencing the past – and thus burden myself with the past while attempting to live today, never reaching that goal, as I am not stopping the thoughts and the thinking and the memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lay out each day for myself as an pre-determined experience – within each part of my day having the same thoughts/feelings/emotions as the day before, and to within this just repeat and repeat till I feel stuck and unable to change anything, not as what I do per say but as how I experience myself within what I do, which is also part of why I am doing what I am doing or how I am doing it, because its already been determined and with that comes what I belief I can and cannot do within this experience, while it’s the other way around, I can do what Is here regardless of the experience as the experience in fact determines nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the past n each day within each part of my day living a different past through accepting and allowing myself to have the thoughts and to then follow through with them and the experiences that come along.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that everyday cannot be different, or simply new within how I experience myself and thus in fear take the past where I have already had the experiences and thus the memories and us them to determine the next days to come to be the same, because I have survived, I have lived through those days so I belief that I can use those days to prepare and to make me ready for the next exact days to come, such as making every Monday the same by using a particular Monday from the past to project onto every Monday and to live that out as a way of securing myself, when all I am doing is, I am burdening myself every Monday with the previous Mondays thoughts and feelings/emotions and just keep repeating the same pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-movement as my self-responsibility to move myself every day in every breathe through giving that responsibility to the patterns that I have created for myself and have repeated over and over time and to within this trust these patterns as the best for ME, just because I have used them and I have survived so I pressed the automatic button and now run every day on automatic mode just to get through the days, and thus burdening myself with the same patterns as the thoughts/feelings/emotions as the mechanics of keeping the pattern alive which is instigated within the behaviour within the certain environments.

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