Day 14 - I broke a girls heart , past relationship.


 This was a few years ago, there is still guilt, shame and fear, as I now see what I have accepted and allowed from the start of the relationship and what led to the end, where both partners get hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the guilt of breaking a relationship partners hart, after I have made her promises and told her I love her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make promises with in a relationship that is based on irrational thoughts and from the mind as energy, instead of realizing that promises are not needed but living it in the physical is and to stand with in a agreed relationship that is based on communication, openly sharing, removing all irrational thought, removing secret mind, self forgiveness, and to eradicate all back doors, and thus no promises needed, only living application with in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell a girl that I love her when the words I speak is only words based on a irrational energetic experience that is not in consideration of the physical and daily living to be practically lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word love to manipulate a girl so that I may feel secure with her and that she is under my control, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word love in the fear of being lonely, and so I say to a girl that I love her so that she may stay with me and never leave me, and to with in this end up being the one to break the girls hart because I had a change of hart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse the relationship partner with the word love to manipulate a girl into loving me and not wanting to leave me because I fear being alone and that only with her can I be happy, and to be the one to break up with her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing a relationship partner and with in this fear, end up being the one to leave the partner as I have rushed myself to the end goal of loosing her just so that I may feel save and that I wasn't the one being abandoned and hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to break up with a relationship partner just so that I do not have to be the one that gets to be abandoned.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that before I go into a relationship that I can direct the point through first having a discussion with the partner I am considering and to see with in communicating if the relationship can work practically,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt a relationship partner through being the first one to break up just to that I do not have to be the one to be hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt myself with in pushing myself to break up with a relationship partner because I feared loosing the relationship partner from the beginning, instead of sharing/communicating with the partner and removing the points of fear through discussing the point and applying self forgiveness to create a agreed relationship that is of enjoyment instead of fear of loosing each other and compromise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set up failing relationships through jumping into them based on energetic experiences I have created with in myself through participating in certain justifications with in my mind as thoughts that are irrational most of the time and to then with in the believe that it may come true go into the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that with in my fear of being hurt and being abandoned that I have created the points directly to manifest with in my relationship through deliberately looking for points with in the relationship that I can use as points to use to justify why i break up the relationship and to break the relationship partners hart first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to built a relationship on fear of loosing the relationship partner, instead of communicating about all points to remove all irrational thought and secret mind and to have effective communication and to be clear on all words being lived with in the relationship, so that a relationship can be directed to a agreement where both partners can enjoy each other in a agreed relationship where there is no fear or being hurt or of any break up, but a commitment to walk together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush into a relationship because of all the energy I have created with in me through all the participation of thoughts and fantasies with in my mind that is not with in the consideration of the physical and how daily live is lived, and so thus I have already from the start created and manifested a break up where one or both partners end up getting hurt or abuse because nothing practical or real was considered or discusses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly go into a relationship and believing that no one will get hurt.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a relationship blindly based on energetic experiences that  I have created through thoughts and irrational thinking and calling it love, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and hope than when I blindly go into a relationship that no one will get hurt, Realizing that with in blindly going into a relationship that was not agreed upon on certain principals such as clearing communication, stopping all irrational thought and secret mind  and to redefine the living words with in the agreement that both is clear on what the agreement relationship will be lived as and to be open about the past to have no past interfering in the present and that a relationship can work unless it is agreed upon and that is was set up to fail from the beginning.


I commit myself to communicate with a relationship partner all points that is necessary to have a agreed relationship and not a relationship that is based on hope and believe, and thus have a agreed relationship that will work instead of maybe working.

I commit myself to communicate with a relationship partner about all the words with in  a agreed relationship to stand clear on the words we are living as the relationship to not have any miss communications.

I commit myself to share with a agreed relationship partner all points of the past and to remove the past from the present so that both can live here in support and to not have any surprises and to move on in self forgiveness and anew.

I commit myself to not keep any secrets from a agreed relationship partner and to be open about all points such as sexuality, money and the relationship itself and to always work through the points and support and assist each other to not have any back doors that can be used to escape from the agreed relationship.


Here is the blog that inspired mine - Do you love breakups"s
 Here is another Blog for great support on relationships - Failed Relationship. 

Day 13 - Insecurity.


Why am I insecure I asked myself today, I looked at the point and I saw that I had a belief about myself, that I have hidden things with in me that I fear can be exposed.

I can not see what the things are that I fear that can be exposed right now, I just know it is a feeling, a fear and that it is based on an idea that I have about myself as being bad as being wrong.

I have created a personality for myself that defends me (my insecurities)  no matter what, as long as I do not have to feel insecure, the ego/personality that I have created as the guy who can handle anything, that has no problems and that knows anything and can do anything, giving all the good qualities as a image of myself within a presentation of myself to others so that they will not find the weak spots, the bad with in me and expose me.

This only makes the insecurity bigger and more, because now that I have created this personality that everyone known me as, I also fear being exposed as a fake, because that is what I am actually, when I present myself a certain way while inside me it is different as the experience.

I asked myself in self honesty, why and when will it stop, why can I not simply stop in one breath, why am I allowing this, because I still had fear, fear of the unknown, what will happen if I let go of my insecurities, who will I be/become,


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be insecure about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in the feeling of being insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being bad and that it is wrong and bad what I have with in me and that I have to hide it, and that if it has to ever be expose it will mean the end of me, realizing that if what I am hiding with in me has to be exposed, that the only end it will bring to me is my ego as energy as that which I hold onto as being important to hide and generating the mind consciousness system with in me as a energetic enslavement and limitation that is now imposed onto and with in my physical reality, compromising and sabotaging me and my reality with in applying myself effectively and openly with in the principal of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my insecurities and giving them attention as if they are important, realizing that through these actions I am actually keeping my insecurities alive and growing, instead of stopping and breathing and walking through the insecurities to see what is real and what is not, to face myself as my insecurities and to basically get over it and move on with my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become, realizing that only through self exposure can I truly see what is here and what is real and not, and only once I see for myself with in self honesty and common sense and gaining the understanding that I give to myself or receive through others support, can I take self responsibility and change as that which is best for all life and start living life instead of hiding and keeping myself alive in fear/anxiety/stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my insecurities after holding onto them for so lone, that I cna not see how I can live with out them, realizing that I will actually only start living once I let go of them through self forgiveness and self honesty.

What am I insecure about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about all the thoughtI ever had and that they can be exposed for all to see, and that I will with in such exposure diminish myself and never be able to face myself again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I had to ever be exposed for all the thoughts I ever had that I will only diminish and not be able to face myself or others, I realize that I can change this through self forgiveness and thus support and assist myself to see and realize that all insecurities has only been self created and thus it is not real but only a way to hide from facing self and changing to that witch is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about sexuality and that if I had to ever expose all my sexual thoughts/fantasies/desires and what I have done in my life in relation to sex and masturbation that I will not be able to face other people or look them in the eyes, realizing that this is only my interpretation and self judgment and that I am the one that has to forgive myself and face myself and that it is not about others forgiving me, but me forgiving me and living the change and taking self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about who I am currently in my entirety as all of me with in myself and with out as the my physical body and appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about speaking up and not hiding my common sense and standing up for life as I judge myself as being to young and not good enough and not capable yet, realizing that as long as I hold back and hide with in myself I will never be ready till I take the step of standing and taking self responsibility head on for all of me as what I have accepted and allowed to exist with in and with out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as negative and positive, creating good points and bad points with in myself and thus creating the insecurities and the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about sharing my actual real time experience with certain people that I have identified as being superior with in my life and that if I had to share with them my actual experience that i will be seen as less than, realizing it is only me who will see myself as less than as it is only my self judgment with in me, thus I realize I must stop the self judgment and simply face myself with in my writings and self forgiveness so that i may stand and walk as that which is best for all life in all ways.

Commitments.

I commit myself to when ever I see I am going into feeling like hiding from a certain situation scenario because I see that if I take part in the scenario I may be confronted with facing my insecurities, that I will take a breathe and not allow my fear and insecurity to direct m and giving permission for its continued existence, but to go there and see for myself what it is that I fear and feel insecure about.

I commit myself to take on all points where I have a resistance with in going/doing with in myself and to go there and to see what it is that I fear and feel insecure about facing as myself and to write and do self forgiveness on the points, using the tools I have been given to support myself with in changing myself as that which is best for all life as Life, as me.

Day 12 - Self trust, with people or alone, who I am.


I noticed today a really odd pattern that I did not fully understand but yet I could see it and that it was here, in my face.

We were all working together outside for a while and while we all were working together I made the observation that me and everyone else was working hard and steadily.

After breakfast time and the second shift I had to leave and go work somewhere else far away from the rest.

As I went away with the tools and got to the location I started working, it wasn't ten minutes later and I stopped and sat down for a few minutes, then I started working again and I stopped again to look around and to play around a bit.

As this happened I stopped and realize what was happening, I was alone and by myself and no body else was there to check up on me and so I worked half as good as before, I then asked myself why?

I looked at myself self honesty and I saw that when I work around other beings I give the impression that I can be trusted to do work and what needs to be done till it is done, as soon as I go away I do not have to give the impression any more and can do what i want - I saw that this is a point of trust, I was send away to work on my own because the people trusted me to do my work because of the way I work around them as the impression I gave them.

Yet when I was alone I did the opposite, this was clearly showing me where I was deceiving myself and others.

Because I realized, no matter how much I try and make other to trust me, I can not trust myself to be alone with myself, look what happened, nothing got done, I CHANGED. This I saw was a pattern and that I was doing it on many points.

Its like with people I say with in my actions _ Look at me I can do it, yes I will do it, okay I am on it, you can trust me, I always do everything and I am good at it, once I am alone. It goes away and I am different and I am suddenly not working as much, as hard but slowly, taking more breaks, not taking action, because I have trained myself over time to not trust myself when I am alone through never following through and proving to myself that I can do it, I can trust myself.


Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief it is up to other people to trust me for me to be able to trust myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give other people a false image of myself that makes them believe they can trust me just so I can feel I can be trusted, realizing that trusting self isn't a feeling , self trust is that which you proof to yourself in space and time through living your words as yourself no matter if self is alone or with someone, but to trust self to remain the same and not to change with in what is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek self trust with in other people through my actions of wanting to get approval for what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I do will determine if I can trust myself or not, realizing that it is who I am that determine what I do and thus self trust is already implied with in the doing/applying point as self trust has to come from self as self first and then lived in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being approved of something implies that I can now trust myself because it has been approved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place more value in what others think of me in such a way that I even seek self trust from them, even if it means selling myself to them as someone that can be trusted as a pretense of trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself and others with in giving forth a false sense of trust just to be accepted as being trust worthy so that I can feel I may trust myself with in what I am doing (in relation to anything).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that self trust is something that comes to me naturally, realizing that self trust is something I give to myself through applying myself as who I am with in self honesty and doing what is best for all life in all ways as life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself, though the fear of trusting myself I realize that I have seeked approval for what I do to be able to get rid of the fear and have way to trust myself, thus postponing and sabotaging myself with in all I do until I receive approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move and direct myself effectively with in self trust, as I have always waited for the go ahead signs from others till I can trust myself, as this is obviously not self trust but trusting others and with in the belief that they know best and that I can only take their word and not my own, thus If I do not trust myself with in self honesty I leave space open with in me to be misled by others as I take what they say and do can be trusted with out investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if someone else trust me I can trust myself, thus seeking trust with in others to be able to trust myself., I realize this is not how it works as I have to with in my applications proof to myself that I can trust myself no matter what, with out changing through applying myself with in each breathe with in self honesty as that which is best fro all life as life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on others to be able to trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on others to trust myself through first seeking their approval, instead of realizing that when I do what is best for all life in all ways with in self honesty does not need approval but only self to trust self with in applying common sense and what works best for all practically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I have to trust myself that I will not know what I may do next with in self trust and who I will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I will be if I trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make self trust a IF, instead of making it as who I am, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make self trust more than myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are born with self trust and thus I must be the odd one out that simply do not have it, realizing that self trust isn't what you are born with but what you develop through giving to yourself with in common sense and self honesty and education yourself effectively with in understanding of how the word and physical reality functions with in all its facets as life as all that is here taken into consideration and applying self accordingly with in the understanding as that which is best for all life in all ways.

Commitments.

I commit myself to to when ever I see I am pretending to be a trust worthy being to stop and to look at myself and investigate3 in the moment why I am doing it, instead of simply actually trusting myself for myself to bring about real change and self trust.

I commit myself to push through the points of resistances that I face with in my day where I have to trust myself with in applying common sense and self honesty as that which is best for all life and to challenge myself to change.

I commit myself to when ever I see I am doing something that is not trust worthy as life that I am doing to stop and to realize that I am in that moment programming myself to not trust myself with in my actions and to stop and to take self responsibility for my actions and to change, so that I may stop the patterns and change and to have some self respect and honor with in what I do and to built self trust as who I am as Life as that which is best for all life. 

writing is important. - The importance of writing.  

Day 11 - How will I ever change this point.


It has been four years since I became aware of my ability to read and write and how bad I am at it, I have been working on the point so many times, over and over as I start reading and applying myself daily with in reading and writing there is always something else that takes away my time to work on improving my abilities with in reading and writing such as house hold activities, work, and other things that comes up and just takes time away.

This has been a big point for me in my life, as I can see and feel how I am being held back because of this point, every time I want to write I loose myself with in how to start, how to structure, what words to use,  and how to place them.

The biggest issue I have with in my writing is having to place everything in a certain sequences, I will have this great point coming up and as soon as I start writing it is as if I start writing the blog from the middle to the end then top the start, and this does not work or help with in me improving myself and being effective with in my expression with in writing.

After I read a passage in a book and I will tell it to someone I do the same, I start at a random point that I could remember and then just randomly tell the things as I remember it, instead of from point A to B.

I end up sometimes writing a whole blog, and once I am done and I look at it and read it back to myself, I will highlight it all and delete it with in the judgment that it is shit, that if anybody would have to read it they would get lost and not understand what I am saying, because I did not lol.

So this is a major point in my life and it is compromising everything for me in my world, only now that I am older and that I am actually doing something in this world to bring about change I realize that reading and writing has everything to do with it all, In school I never cared as the importance of reading was never made clear to me and no one ever gave me a point of understanding and why.

I have had enough.

Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame school for not teaching me why reading and writing is important, realizing that blaming school is me abdicating my responsibility for what I have to do now in the present to change and correct what has been done in the past, thus I realize I must stop blaming school and the past and take self responsibility for my actions as the past and what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself that I did not read and write more in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not reading and writing a lot more in the past, realizing that I myself did not have any real education as a child that actually taught me the real importance of reading and writing, and thus I realize that there wasn't anything I could have done differently with in my understanding back then of how the world works and the human that would have made me want to read and write effectively for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having the ability of reading and writing effectively as other do, I realize that judging myself will not help me at all, but only self movement with in the corrective application will help me to change the point and to become effective and a expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am being judged by others, realizing that it is only me judging me and that I am projecting it onto others to take the point of having to take self responsibility for myself away from myself and not having to face myself as my past manifested consequences that requires my correction with in actual physical application with in space and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being stupid for not being able to read and write effectively, realizing that as long as I judge myself as being stupid then that is the signals I am sending my brain and my body and thus I realize that as long as I have the self definition of myself as being stupid with in myself then no matter how much I read or write the signals I am sending my body as me being stupid will over write the input. I realize that i must stop the thoughts about me being a stupid dumb person and to change my approach with in reading and writing to the starting point of me creating and building new skills for myself and not from the starting point of me making myself smart because I am dumb, because I realize that it is just the same as telling myself I am dumb the whole time doing it with in the starting point of making myself smart. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone dedicating a few minutes a day to myself with in building and giving to myself the skill of reading and writing more effectively because Of the judgment that "I have been busy with this point for four years and I do not see any real change".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with in judging myself as being bad and dumb with in reading and writing, to over look the fact that I am writing right now which I wasn't able to do at all four years ago and have never before even considered it in my life, and here I am doing it.  Thus I realize that I have improved and that the mind is only improvising on one point to make me look and feel bad about myself so that I must not push myself with in permanent change and remain a slave to the mind as energy in polarities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient and consistent with myself with in developing effective reading and writing till it is done, realizing that when I get impatient my mind will remove all facts that is here as evidence with in the physical of actual change and only show me my self judgment till I submit and give up, thus I realize I must breath and be self honest with myself and stop,

I commit myself to read every day, even if it is just one page a day.

I commit myself to apply myself with in reading everyday and doing the Desteni reading program that has assisted and supported me a lot in the past already.

I commit myself to read and write everyday with in expanding my vocabulary and my ability to focus on what I read and to keep a sequence.

I commit myself to read and write everyday, as I realize that reading and writing is how information runs in this world, and that the world is constantly being moved through information, and that if I can read and write effectively I will become more effective with in this world with in supporting myself and all life as myself one and equal, doing what is best for all life all ways.

I commit myself to dedicate myself to improve myself with in my reading and writing to become more effective with in this world so that I can and may do what is best for all life in a effective efficient way that is best for all life in all ways.

Day 10 - Receiving/asking for help, stopping the ego.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being helped by another person and that it will be seen as a weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see help as weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge help as being negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when help is offered to me, as I see it that the other person is implying I am imperfect, thus I realize that I am not perfect and I am in the process of reaching perfection as life as that which is best for all and thus help is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being helped by others as me not being capable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that when I need help that I am not yet capable and that is the point of being helped, to become capable and empowering myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to interpret help as being a weakness because of my judgments that I have towards others that require help as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and judge others that ask/require help as being weak and not capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I ask or receive help that I will never be able to do it on my own and that I always now have to ask for help with the same thing over and over again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that help is what I need till I get the points for myself and can stand by it effectively to be able to assist and support others in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself with in not asking for help and trying to do everything myself and end up not doing it effectively and have to redo it all again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego come in the way of me and what requires to be done that is best for all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  trust my ego as the mind as my back chat instead of me here in common sense with in the physical as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in my ego as the mind as back chat in relation to asking for help and seeing it as weakness to not ask and sabotage myself and in the same process others walking with me in their process's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that asking for help is humbleness, as me admitting I do not yet understand life and that I will in all humbleness submit to learn and to understand so that I may be worthy of life as life one and equal in full understanding of all that is here so I may walk as an equal.


I commit myself to ask for help when I need it, till I can stand as the point and give help equally as support and assistance to another, to live the principal as do onto another as I would do onto myself, give as you would like to receive,

I commit myself to stop the ego and to do what is best for all life as myself, and to write and forgive myself on the points of asking for help when it comes up.

Here is some great help on understanding Life a bit more. 

Day 9 - Limited Time to change.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully realize that I have a limited time with in the physical to change and correct myself as that which is best for all life and rebirth myself as life in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that each breathe is a moment in time that I have to change myself and to correct myself and rebirth myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize fully that each time/breath that I waste is time/breathe I can never get back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have a lot of time and that what ever I want to do and change now can wait for another time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully realize that If I do not apply myself here and now in each breath with in space and time in and as the physical, that I will have to do it Later anyway, and that I will have to walk physical consequences as we live in a reality of consequences that is much more work and that I might not get the opportunity I have right now, maybe even never.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my time that I have here in each and ever breath with in space and time on earth for granted,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mind illusion with in my mind that I have a lot of time left in this world and that tomorrow is another day to change, realizing that I might not be here in my next breathe, as we live in a reality of physical consequences and thus I have no idea what may or may not happen tomorrow, and thus I am responsible for me in each breathe here as life, as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to time and space instead of directing myself in and as breath with in this world that exist with in space and time to be effective with myself and to not create any mind delusions or projection into the future, to remain here with myself in each breath rebirth myself as this is what is here right now as all of me as all that I accept and allow to exist.

I commit myself to write and to forgive myself when ever I see that I am getting lazy and thus waiting my time in the mind,

thus I commit myself to breathe and to work with myself here in and as the physical with in each breathe.

I commit myself to apply myself with in the limited time I am given here on earth in the best ways possible that I can as that which is best for all life in all ways.

Day 8 - developing half assed skills through comparison


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself towards others with in what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself towards others in what I do and thus sabotaging myself in the rush to keep up in comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself with in comparing myself towards what others are/can do and thus I feel I need to be able to the same already, and so I rush myself to keep up, and with in this I miss things and tire myself out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create competition with in comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I compare myself to others and with in this negative judgment towards myself sabotage myself with in doing what I can do best because I now feel that what I am doing isn't good enough anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into isolation when I compare myself to others and what they can do because of the judgments I have created about it and with in this identify myself as les than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have identify myself as less than others with in comparing myself to others and their abilities and what they are capable of doing when I am still in the learning process and thus I give up on myself and feel that what I do is useless because there are already people that can do more and better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in competition with others through comparing myself with them and what they can do and what I can do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my learning process through looking and comparing myself with others, instead of focusing on myself in each breath, doing what I do till I become more effective and develop the skills fully, and not half assed because I rushed it just to reach where others are already.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things half assed because I rush myself to reach the level of others with in comparing myself to them.F

I forgive myself that I have not realized that other people have developed the skills they have through being consistent with in the learning process and that it took time and effort to built the certain skills they have and are applying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not see and realize that I will in time have effective skills when I apply myself accordingly and that I have to commit myself with in developing certain skills to have them, and that it does not magically happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to De-motivate myself deliberately though comparing myself to others and to judge myself as not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not good enough when I compare myself to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself with in being consistent with in developing effective skills through comparing myself with others and judging myself .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient and consistent with myself in developing effective skills.

I commit myself to be patient with myself with in developing skills that is best for all and to when ever I see I go into comparison to stop and breathe, to realize that I am learning and that with in time and with in applying myself consistently and effectively that I will develop the skills.

I commit myself to work with the skills I already have and to develop myself further with in other skills when I have the time, or I make time, and to when I see I compare and sabotage myself to write and forgive myself and to stop sabotaging myself.

I commit myself to focus on myself and to work with myself first and to not participate with in comparison and sabotaging myself and to develop myself through practically applying myself for that which is best for all life in all ways.

As I realize compromising and sabotaging myself is not best for all life as I am postponing and prolonging my process when I compare myself, and not developing my skills fully and effectively that will and can support all life to bring about a world that is best for all life as I birth myself as life.

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