Day 231 - emotional Body and childhood memory Part 3.1

I am nine years old , grade 3 – I am being encouraged to take on a athletic event, it is a running event and it requires me to run 2 kilometers, to me within my understanding 2 kilometers are quite a long distance, I am told that it isn’t, I insist that I do not want to do it, I am once again told that I can do it since I have done it before when I was eight years old.

The elders do not give up on the “wanting” for me to run in this athletic event, they belief it is part of my potential, because my father used to be a good runner in his days, this is implying that I should be a good runner just like my father.

I stick to not running, I am at school and I hear the other kids talk about who is going to run and who isn’t, I hear a specific kid saying that he is going to run, I can’t believe he is going to run, he is quite over weight and seems like he will get tired pretty quick and quite in the long distance race, I feel challenged and that I should also be able to do this if he can.

I am at home, I tell the elders that I will do the long distance race, they are happy, they tell me many things, of which one is that my father was a great runner and that this means it is in my genes and I will find it to be easy.

My best friend is also going to do the race, he keeps telling me that running 2 kilometers is nothing, it will be a quick race, I feel inferior to him and that he can claim such a thing when I cannot, I am in fear and anxious of the race, I hate it when the gun shot goes off and all the kids start to run, some are in the front and some are in the back, I am always in between in such events, if it is long distance or short, I always feel like I can fall behind anytime or just give up, while the rest can continue, they must be stronger than me and better naturally, I must be missing something.

It is required of me to practice on a weekly base, for two weeks I train, the training isn’t that hard, it is basically running a few laps everyday and doing a lot of stretching, the training actually makes the race seem like it will not be that hard.

The teacher that trains us says that the race is the same distance as running five times around the “rugby” field, this startled me and at the same time my mind interpreted it as not much, but in training sessions we only go around twice.

The day has come of the event, I am dressed up and I am at the point and time of the race, there are thousands of people, parents/families with the runner being the center of attention, everyone is competing with everyone, even the families with each other, who’s kid is better then who’s, I feel it is my responsibility to make my elders proud and to make this race happen.

As I am standing around I feel that I do not want to do it, I go to my parents and say I do not want to do the race, both my parents sitting in chairs they brought to watch me run stare at me – they say: we are already here and you trained, why not give it a try, I did not want to do it, the anxiety in my stomach was to big and over whelming, the pressure of competing was getting to me, I do not like competing.

My parents made a deal with me, they told me that if I run and finish the race that they will buy me a frozen drink, they were selling it all around, this drink is literally two rands, I did not have that money back then and anything seemed as a good idea, I said okay I will do it for that.

I walked away and stood around, then came a girl from school, she was smiling and saying hi to me, I secretly liked her but she never knew, she then asked me If I am running today – I felt this energy rush, I could proudly say YES I am running today, like it gave me meaning and like I am a capable guy, I am doing something many others aren’t doing today, and I could tell this girl I am doing it.

She then said okay good luck and we both just stood there, I then heard the announcement for my age group to gather on the field and give our names in for the race.

As I stood on the field waiting in line my friend also joined in, he seemed so calm and like he actually wanted to do this, he then asked me if I am ready, I said yes with a fake confidence to seem like I am equal to his standing.

We got our names in and we were all standing in line, at least a hundred kids my age, the person started talking and I heard a gunshot – Off we all go, the race has started.

I am running to stay with my friend, but he is simply faster, I even saw a kid younger than me running with us and taking me over, a lot of kids are bumping into each other and trying to get ahead of each other, we hardly started and I am already tired, I just want to stop, I can’t see anyone I know around me anymore, they are all gone, I am left running on my own and I know I am not in front, I basically already lost.

I do not know the road, there are people standing around with red flags showing me the way to where I must go, it leads into a field, there is no one, I have no idea how far I am from the finish line or if I am the only one left, I continue running, I see up ahead there is a kid, it is the other kid from my class that I could not belief were also going to run, he is walking and out of breathe, I take him over, I feel proud that I could beat him at least, he starts to run again as I pass him, I pace myself to not lose my small win for the day.

I get a cramp in my stomach ad I am tired, I want to stop, it is now a uphill run, I never trained for this at all, I see I am getting back to the area we started off at, I run in-between the bushes and meet up with other tired kids there still running, I feel good that I could catch up, but no matter what could not over take them, they were just in front of me the whole time.

We reach the rugby field where we started off, I feel so fucking happy, I see the finish line, as I get closer I start to walk, I am to tired, as I get to the finish line the person tells me that I still have to run around the field twice and then I am done.

My parents are screaming for me on the side and the girl I spoke to, I do not hear them, I see them but do not hear them, I am completely emotion – I have to do this for two more rounds before I am done.

I start running, I don’t want to, that all that is going through my head, I am feeding the emotions, like I am being forced, I am being abused, it is unfair, I don’t want to, why does no one understand that I do not want to, the last thought that comes through my mind is, If i do not finish this I will not get that iced drink my parents said I can have if I finish.

I am half way through the first round, I decided to stop, I will not continue, I started walking towards my parents, they are screaming at me and saying, you must finish, I start running again, I feel broken, my body isn’t supporting this, I am almost done, I have to run a hundred meters more.

I start to cry, I scream out I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it, I am emotionally wrecked, my body wants to collapse, I fall on my knees, EVERYONE is watching me and hearing me and I don’t give a shit, my parents scream, just a little bit more GIAN, just a little bit more, the game does not matter to me anymore, I run off the field crying straight towards my parents, I had to literally run 50 more meters and I would have finished, But I did not.

My parents did not comfort me as I entered their presence, they left me to cry and to remain in the emotional state, they were to embarrassed to support me at that moment and I did not know what to do with myself.

We packed our things and we left, I did not get that iced drink. I left the field knowing that I never want to experience that again, it was horrible, it was disastrous, I hated that whole day and the whole experience, I am wondering who will remember me for how I acted out on the field, I felt ashamed and like a loser to the rest, everyone could finish it except me.
Next up self forgiveness.

Day 230 – Emotions trapped in the Flesh part 3.

Ok so I wasn’t able to get the interview, as I started to download the interview from yesterday that I said I wanted to listen to before continuing on this point it told me that the download will take 4 days!! I decided to instead focus on self forgiveness points for today on the first Blog.

Day 228 – Working, The Physical and emotion Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be anxious/fearful of when I have to do activities that seem to be bigger then me and what I "should be" capable of, as if I will be incapable of doing them, seeing and realizing that this is but the mind interpreting the physical reality from and within the ideas/beliefs I have created of the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I am incapable of performing/doing a physical activity that I am less then the activity and thus I see and realize how I have within this judgment of myself created a emotional charge towards physical activities within my life where I felt powerless/incapable fo performing them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this Idea/belief I have created of myself as a child where I was incapable of doing certain things equally as the other boys and to within this judgment feel less then and inferior to the other boys and activities, and thus seeing and relaizing that when and as I face a point within my life of where I have to push myself to do a physical activity that I find myself incapable of doing due to physical disabilities I belief I have that this activates the past memories and thus emotions within me where I suddenly Fear that I have not changed an thus I am still a weak boy that is inferior and incapable. 

I will walk this memory in my next Blog as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the idea/belief that the physical reality is more than me, not seeing and realizing that I am physical one and equal, and that I have to within this work with and as the physical one and equal as myself and not in separation of myself where I belief I am the mind that has to do this bigger task then me that is physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the mind as the beliefs/ideas/opinions I have of myself within my relationship towards my physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the Idea that the physical is hard/mean/tough/ and to within this separate myself from the physical reality within the belief that I am not one and equal as the physical, that my equality as the physical is to be able to work with this hardness/meanness/toughness as myself as the physical through using common sense and consideration and to apply myself practically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am not from this world of the physical and thus anything physical I have to do is always a struggle and hard and tough and out to get me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the belief/idea I have of the physical and myself in relation to the physical is but of the mind, where the mind will attempt to keep me enslaved to energy so that I can never realize myself as life one and equal as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the Idea that when and as I do something within the physical that is out of my comfort zone that I have to experience something emotional within me as if I am being abused by the physical, seeing and realizing that it is the comfort zone that I have created for myself as my limitation where I live within the mind instead of the physical reality one and equal that is actually harming.

To be continued. 

Day 229 –Emotions trapped in the flesh Part 2

This is a continuation of Day 228 – Working, the Physical and emotions Part 1.

I was going to look into this point a bit deeper, seeing how I trap these emotions within my body/flesh through daily participating within it. 

I have noticed within the exercises that I release some of the emotions from and as the body within specific movements and always breathing, a single thought will trigger emotion/feeling and when and as I have the thought that is either me seeing myself not being able to do it I experience the emotion of fear, this indicates to me that there is somewhere a memory, a past event, a emotional event within my life that has a similar experience within it that I have identified myself as, as that emotion and that it gets triggered within me as I face a certain physical “limitation”.

I have decided that before I continue on this Journey of seeing what’s going on here within my body and the trapped emotions I am going to listen to the following interview that seems relevant for me to first get a inter-dimensional perspective so that I don’t make shit up or create things as I see as fit lol.

If this interview - that I will be listening to tomorrow, if this isn’t what I was looking for I will check out heavens journey to Life blog as well for perspective there so that I can walk this effectively. 

The Emotional and Feeling Body System and Physical Energy-Alignments

In this video interview, we discuss the Energy-System of the Mind within the Human Physical Body and how and why we experience positive, negative and neutral energetic experiences/reactions within ourselves – pertaining to where such energies come-from, what their purpose are and what the consequence of such energies are for ourselves mentally and physically.

Day 228 - Working, the physical and emotion Part 1

Working in the physical here on the farm I have come to notice some interesting points within my body while working, I have done some hard labor and I do daily routine work, the daily routine work is very supportive in movement and breathing and staying out of the mind.

When it comes to doing something more than the daily work that requires more physical strength and movement I have these sudden reactions within my body of anxiety/fear. As I work and continue with the activity the anxiety/fear moves and eventually

The location of the anxiety/fear that I experience as sudden reactions happen in certain movements/moments with the work I do, this is for instance when i have to lift up a bag of cement, just before I pic it up I have a reaction of anxiety, as I pic the bag of cement up and move myself within breathing I move through the anxiety, I do realize that the reaction compromises me as I face myself in that moment just before picking up the bag, the part I see I face is a self definition, this is where I belief that I should not be able to do this and that I have identified myself as I should not be able to do it, yet I am going to - I have to, there is no choice, so as I move and do it I breathe and as I do the work picking up the bag the fear/anxiety is within my solar plexus like a disgusting pot of cyst boiling there.

I have through doing lots of work like this moved out of this emotional body - where the reactions isnt here and I simply do it. I have however encountered a bigger emotional point that I see I have created as my body, into the flesh and as me and that I have identified myself as this emotional body.

I discovered the emotional body one night as I was going to do some exorcized, I started out with doing some sit ups, then I did some rope jumps and after the rope jumps I did some pushups, when and as I did the push ups, I set myself out to do 20 push ups - this exercise session I started after a day of working outside already, so I started the push up and I counted, I found doing it was easy, then I came to sixteen - I suddenly could not go further, I experienced myself as powerless to continue in my body, I felt like there was not one more push in me no matter how hard I try, I went down for the seventeenth push, I fell to the floor and my arms just could not even hold my body up, I got tears in my eyes, I asked myself why, why cant I do more, it isnt that much, I have done more in the past, a lot more.

as I was laying on the floor I breathed and I told myself I have no choice, I am doing this, I then stopped all thoughts and I breathed in and as my body from tip to toe I pushed myself up with breathe, I breathed and push and I was up and I continued till twenty pushups were done, when I stood up from this exercise I was here as my body, I felt my body as me, and not as the usual way where I experience my mind using the body.

This was where I saw the emotional body, I investigated it through the rest of the exercises, as I still had two more rounds to go with everything, I was able to do everything after this, I pushed through one layer of the emotions that I have have programmed as me into the flesh, It felt like I was burning the emotions out of the body within the rest of the exercise, my body was heating up and becoming movement, I also did stretches in between and moving myself as I felt physically where the body needed to be stretched.

This was quite a eye opener to the emotional body - I realize how I have constricted myself within self definitions throughout my life, as self judgments as self definitions of what I can do and can not do and actually define myself as my body as that - this causes a emotional charge that integrates into the body - and when I face those points of "here I can not go further, this is my limit"I experience the emotional body bringing me down through internal experiences that bombards the physical body - like a master whipping a slave till the slave can not stand and move anymore, it is now to remove that which I have given power over the body as thoughts/emotions/feelings and to give me back to myself as the body as the master of the body, mastering myself as my body and not as limitations of the mind.

I have been exercising for a week now pushing and doing this, I am living this correction also within my daily living.

After I have done a workout session I experience hotness in the areas where the emotional points have leached onto, this is within the solar plexus and on the areas between my chest bones in the middle, also in between my ribs and by my upper legs.

It is almost like I am returning my water within my body back to a state of flowing, where as before my body was stuck, locked into a state, a emotional state I am not even aware of

Day 227- The Apocalypse did not happen, what Now?

Day 226 -  – 12-12-21 Apocalypse – who is right, who is wrong. Part 3.

Day 225 - Who's right, who's wrong the Apocalypse fever 12-12-21

Day 224 – The Apocalypse Battle of who is right and who is Wrong 21/12/12

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy as excitement within the idea that the world will end through some natural or un-contollable disaster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse fear with excitement and to follow this excitement as hidden fear within the belief that it might be fun if the world ends as predicted by many in many ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the idea of the world ending within my mind as projections of how it might be, not seeing and realizing that within my mind it is always different according to my own beliefs and ideas where I am always a hero and winning and surviving not considering the actual physical reality, and to within following this mind illusion actually create the world in such a way that it will come to an end, the only difference is, I will be the cause and have always been and not some natural disaster or uncontrollable event.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to fall for the illusion within my mind that i have created according to my desires and hopes that I will be one of the survivors within a apocalypse, not seeing and realizing that everyone has this illusion of themselves and thus it is un-realistic and only entertainment for the mind while the actual physical reality is being neglected and abused.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of changing the world to a place worth living in for all life and to stop the abuse on earth and create heaven for all where people will never even consider hoping and wishing for an apocalypse and to instead sit and wait for many many years of my life and wasting all my time and money and effort chasing a illusion in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as I wait for the end of the world and wait and wait and await and just wait and it will never come as it is in my mind or as it is being advertised, that within that I am actually giving away my authority and ability and time and money to change the world in fact.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as I wait and waste all my time waiting for the end of the world that I am not the only one and that millions of other humans are doing the same and wasting time and money and their lives waiting for the and of the world and that within this creates a world with paralyzed humans to act and thus giving the elite all the power to do as they please as no one is willing or even care to stop what exist here on earth as the justification will always be - it does not matter the end of the world is coming soon anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that in all the time and all the money and all the effort I placed into entertaining illusions of the mind of the desire and hope for the end of the world to come that I could have made a change in fact here on earth and create a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within entertaining the illusions in my mind where my ego as a hero experiences a apocalypse and where I survive out of all the people to spend all my time and money on using actual real physical resources to manifest this fantasy world through the weapons, foods, clothing, shelters that is built and wasting it all for a mind game, instead of putting that to that which matters and that can actually change earth to a new world that is best for all life in all ways such as the equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have been conned by the elite to believe in the apocalypse that comes this year December 21 - as the elite had and have all the power to make simple announcements through using the means of radio/TV and all forms of media to inform the people that it is all bullshit, yet they do not do this and leave the people to entertain themselves within it all, as the elite knows it keeps people busy and locked within their minds and this way they can do what they want without any questions and take control of the physical reality while I am stuck in fear of the apocalypse that is really all made up and accepted and allowed by the elite to fuck around with, even with their own people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and educate myself on what is here as the fact, without using any outside information to evaluate the physical reality for myself and see if the end days are close of not and to within this take action, because this way i see and realize that I would have then never even give a shit about a apocalypse as the apocalypse only became true for me once I got outside influences through knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions of fear and entertaining Illusions such as the apocalypse predicted for 2012 December 21 through saying but eh knowledge and information I have of it seems so real and look at all the sense it makes, yet not using my own common sense for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go for the easy road within change here on earth as a apocalypse, seeing and realizing that this will not happens and then all I have done is making things worse here on earth through doing nothing for years at a end waiting and living in my mind while things in the physical only multiplied in consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is to late now to do anything as I have already wasted to much time, seeing and realizing that this is the same justification as waiting for an apocalypse and thus I must stop and move myself here and now and start to be the change I want as that which is best for all life in all ways through bringing about an equal money system as the alternative way of life that can be heaven for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself within changing the world through wanting a apocalypse to do the work for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a victim, seeing and realizing that as long as I accept and allow it to be so I will be it, thus the solution is to stop and stand up and say - Fuck this, I will not stand for the illusions of the mind and instead walk the physical with the understanding of the fall for the apocalypse scam and that I will never accept and allow such thing to exist within me again and stand for that which is bets for all life instead as a self corrective statement of taking back authority with integrity.

I commit myself to when and as the apocalypse does not happen, to within the realization of what I have been living as the illusion as the mind as the thoughts as the feeling and emotions and all the knowledge and information I had of an apocalypse to stand as the evidence that the mind isnt real and inf act only abusive as it has proven to me how I can fuck with myself within the mind and to within this see and realize the consequences of my actions within participating within the mind as the illusion within the physical reality and to within this take self responsibility for my inaction as the consequences and take self responsibility through standing up as life and to stand as the self correction of me to rebirth myself as life one and equal in all ways and to direct myself to bring about real and actual change to earth as myself as who I am and to within that establish a system that supports all life on earth as the equal money system as honoring myself and respecting myself and to have some dignity as me giving mercy to myself though correcting myself in all ways that is best for all life in all ways as asking forgiveness to life as myself and forgiving myself as living the correction.

Day 226 – 12-12-21 Apocalypse – who is right, who is wrong. Part 3.

Day 225 - Who's right, who's wrong the Apocalypse fever 12-12-21

Day 224 – The Apocalypse Battle of who is right and who is Wrong 21/12/12

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for “end of the world” stories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself that I have fallen for the “end of the world” stories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for “the end of the world” stories because they seemed so real and possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I fell for “the end of the world” stories/theories because within me I was desperate for change and this seemed like a good excuse/reason to not to have to take self responsibility to bring about “world change” to earth and instead to leave it up to something disastrous and that could kill out everything but yet I hold onto the hope that I would survive which actually defeats the purpose of a Apocalypse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have mixed up my desire for wanting Global change with the first sign of a Apocalypse as being the way for changing everything on a global scale, seeing and realizing that the change I actually want isn’t with disaster and death and torturous pain, but instead actual change that still keeps everything intact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a Apocalypse is the way to go for global change, not seeing and realizing that a Apocalypse might leave the world as we know it in a state that if anyone has to survive it will not matter and thus no change and we are back to starting it all over again in a process of Billions of years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish and desire the world to end this year December on the given date, or at least that the world change so that I do not have to change the world and take self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have given up on myself within changing the world to such an extend that I even wish destruction upon my own planet just for change and that I will fall for any or all theories/stories on how the world can end just to keep me occupied and entertained to fill the void I have of wanting to actually change the world but have given up on myself and so given up on the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that all the ways and stories there is about the world ending or changing through a apocalypse this year exist because of the masses of the human race that wants change at a global scale but do not know a way and thus all these stories and ways that the world can end/change comes to light as a alternative way for change, not seeing and realizing that it is all made up as so many have set their mind into it completely and believes it to be real in fact and will and have even done things in their actual physical reality to prepare for this change so that they may survive and then restart/reboot their live, seeing and realizing that this is not the way for change and that we all must take self responsibility for what is here on earth as a group and change the way of life is currently accepted and allowed to exist here to a place that is best for all life.

I commit myself to show that the end of days and all the end of the world stories and apocalypses that exist only exist because the majority of people in the world do want Global change in fact, yet no alternative way has ever been given or shown to them and thus everyone was open for anything that seems like a good sale for global change even if it meant destroying everything on earth and to show that there is now a solution, a alternative way and thus no more excuses, and that it is okay to admit you do not want this life the way it is and that you want to change it and that you do not have to accept it as it is, and that the Equal Money System is the best and only way real change can happen and come to light for all on a global scale that is best for all life.

I commit myself to show that the world will only end by mans hand and doing and thus we as the human race must stand together and stop what we are doing and bring about a new world that is best for all life, and that any or all end of the world stuff is simply a reason to escape the responsibility each one has to life as life.

I commit myself to show that an Apocalypse is the easy way out, and within the physical reality there is no easy way out, unless we stand together as equals and change the world to a place that is best for all life within and for a new system that has mercy on us all such as the Equal Money System where the constitution of an equal money system will be what is best for all life and where nothing has value in money but only the value of life and where we all have a clean slate and a new start to fix what we are still doing to our planet and life.

More Self forgiveness coming. Different points stay tuned.

Day 225 - Who's right, who's wrong the Apocalypse fever 12-12-21

Continuing from day 224.

So after all the research on all the ways the world could and end where I ended up obsessing about lots of things I started influencing my friends and people I randomly met, through talking about what I have researched and found and within this I attempted to put fear into others of the end of the world coming closer - I wanted to get fear into them so that they can join me in my mind game, so that I can feel that I am right and that it will happen, I wanted to have people to talk to about how the world can end and what I will do and what they will do.

This is obviously not what happened, I only started repelling my friends and random strangers, people started seeing me as strange, always talking about aliens and vibrations and ice ages and global warming and meditating and why I am doing it - I had major fights with people in my life about these certain points and even lost friends, it was no different that how a drug addict behaves and even hurt those around him/her with the drug abuse and how it effect the physical reality and the people within it.

I can honestly say that I mostly did it for the energetic experience, knowing that something major can happen to earth and I do not know what it will be, and will I be prepared or not - it was a game, like I was a kid waiting for my present and not knowing what it will be, I had to chose a desired present in my mind that I would like but I never know, because someone else decides the actual gift that will come.

I mean I had such a big variety of ways that the world could come to an end and that I will part of it in my lifetime, I enjoyed the rush of having to survive and that thee way the world exist now will come to an end, wishing for the struggle of money and daily boring life problems to be replaced by an exciting end of the world event.

Will I see massive giant aliens coming to earth when their planet pass us, will I meet my creators in the flesh, will I have to fight them, will the world face a ice age and I can survive in it and become some sort of survival leader that looks after people and start my own new desired world, will my fantasy come true of a type of planet I always wanted to live on which I only always find in games and in movies, you know those types where there is only a few surviving and there are people with awesome new ways of dressing with new species and so forth.

I can clearly see how I have been programmed to desire the end of the world through the way the world exist today, because nothing is cool about the world and how it exist today I desired a different world, even if that different world was in chaos and destruction, to me in my mind it still seemed better, not realizing the world is already in a apocalypse and we humans are doing it right now daily as the world is showing, no need for something out there or greater than us to do it for us.

Basically I desired the end of the world because any world will be better than a world where I have to live and die for money, and I would say everyone that has a end of the world fish or that actually believes in the end of the world coming this year and that is very close is actually JUST WISHING FOR A WORLD WITHOUT MONEY, WITHOUT THE BORING DAILY routine of survival and everything just being the same, well I have discovered that the end of the world is not the solution and that it in fact isn’t going to happen at the age of 18, this might have been just my luck or I would have literally wasted my life away waiting till this year and not doing anything to change this world, but here I am doing the changing practically instead.

So it isn’t about who is right and who is wrong about the apocalypse, we will see the truth at the end of this year, everything will still be the same as before but only worse within the economy and for all life on earth due to the current world system we are living in and accepting and allowing to be what we call life.

So I will wish for everyone that has been on their journey for the end of the world that will be disappointed to join me with Desteni and the equal money system and let us change the world together, at Desteni and the equal money system we do not hold anything against anyone we understand we all have gone through the exact same things and we realize the extent of the problem on earth and we are here to support and assist all those that want change but could not find the help or the alternative routes, well here we are.

To be continued with self forgiveness.