Day 525 - What I enjoy doing versus what I have to do

 

What I enjoy versus what I have to do. Or let me change that to taking what I have to do and taking what I enjoy doing and creating a supportive way for me to always enjoy myself in what ever I do. Thus who I am in what I do becomes the enjoyment. See we have it backwards - we do things that we enjoy because they bring joy as an experience inside ourselves which is nice and comfortable. So if it is about how we initially experience ourselves within what we do then we can realize that our experiences are our own and we can thus decide our experiences in what ever we do. If we allow ourselves to let go of the judgements and ideas/beliefs/opinions inside of our minds that we recieved and accepted and allowed from others to become our thinking about everything. But this does not mean accepting and allowing any abuse or harm for self or another. That is a physical experience that needs to be addressed with others or seeking help support. I went from doing what I enjoy most as working outside building and being in nature to doing office work and being indoors and driving all the time as I needed to. So here I decided to change who I am withon it all to make it an expression of myself instead of a limitation.

Day 492 – Being myself, being natural within work

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact decide how I experience myself when I need to do something that I have labelled as “work” – where as I can decide to make this “work” an expression of myself, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are only a certain amount of things within this world that I can express myself within and that allows my expression to show, and thus all others things that isn’t within this category of “my expression” that still needs to be done, becomes a burden, a chore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that who I am as an expression of LIFE can express myself in anything that is here, as my expression is who I am and it isn’t decided by what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according what I do and thus what I do must decide how I experience myself, seeing and realizing that this is a personality design, part of the Identity crises that we face on this planet, where we have entities that decide for us what we can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when there is something in my reality that I must do or that needs doing and I do not nessasarely enjoy it, that I cannot express myself within doing it. Seeing and realizing that this is me separating myself from what needs to be done as something outside of me, yet I am the one that has to do it, I might as well let go of all the mind point and all the thoughts and back chat and the emotions and feelings that is deciding my experience and thus how I do the task and make it part of my expression where doing the task is then one of no effort as who I am is natural to me and to within this do everything I do naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expressions as not suitable for this world and to within this seek out only certain things within this world that I believe will accept me expression and to limit myself to my own judgement of my own expression to what I can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my expression as who I am naturally is wrong and that I always need to fix myself and work on myself as my expression to fit more into this world where everyone else is doing the exact same, instead of just being myself and trusting myself as who I am and to show passion and realness through who I am instead of fakeness and pretense.

Thus I see and realize that I must also align my expression at all times within what is best for all life to make sure that my expression is abusive or harmful to others, not changing who I am but adjusting and realigning myself to be the expression that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not know who I am within all the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat clouding me, who I am and within this have a contaminated expression of myself that is always lost within my own mind and thus always acting out in a certain way that seems to confirm that there is something off with my expression, not seeing and realizing that it is my expression that is naturally here without the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat as the MIND, and to let go of the mind I will know who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give myself a chance as my expressions, but to always fall into the mind as believes/ideas/opinions of who I must and thus what I can do, based on EVERYTHING around me since birth that has conditioned me through my acceptances and allowances of it.

I want to be free – freedom is to understand how everything works in LIFE, to not have thoughts/feelings/emotions chaining one down t a limited mind perspective – to be free isn’t to have no rules, it isn’t to not have any restrictions, it is to be able to freely express oneself as who you are within what is HERE without the mind trapping on within what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give thoughts power over my expressions, to let thoughts decide how I am going to approach a certain situation, instead of naturally walking in and expressing myself within what is here as REALITY, what I can see and direct one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back up my thoughts with back chat as reason and logic, to keep myself save from expressing myself, in the fear that my expression will be judged by others, seeing and realizing that it is and has always only be me judging me and through my own judgment decide and make certain actions that then show/reveal these internal judgement point where other are also now seeing it and thus doing onto me as I have done onto myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR expressing myself as who I naturally am and to TRUST who I am not matter what – seeing and realizing that this trust has been lost (since I was a baby) due to me accepting and allowing thoughts/feelings/emotions/back chat to govern my LIFE that as based on the mind as deception of LIFE as the slave creator, as the web of my own enslavement to energy.

Day 427 – Mornings, evenings and Night time

A pattern that I have noticed within myself and my day that is of limitation is where I have this weird belief that there are specific things that are best to do ONLY in the morning and then there are things that’s Best to do ONLY in the evenings and then there are things that I can only do at nights, which leads to me not doing a lot of things – Because it’s not the right time, I am not in the right mood – which means I have created Moods for each time such as the morning/evening/night – and this is working against me instead of me working with what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit what I can do dependent on the time of day and to within this have created a mood for each time of the day that will be the justification of why I am doing certain things or not.
When and as I see myself NOT doing something just because its something I have judged as doing at night when it is still morning and thus postponing, I stop, I breathe and I push myself to move from this point/pattern of self-limitation and to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine what I do dependent on the MOOD I am in that I have created and connected to the time of the day and to within this NOT move myself and get things done.

When and as I see myself being in a mood at a certain time of day – I stop, I breathe, I realize that the mood isn’t real but only a belief that I have created of how I must be experiencing myself dependent on the certain time of day, and to within this realization stop the mood and move myself within practicality and the physical as what’s here to do and get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a lazy mood of not doing anything till I have done small things first and then go bigger as a way of “waking up and to only then in the afternoon get to bigger things and then at night get to the things I resist doing, seeing and realizing that this is the justification I use for postponing what’s needed to be done according to the time Construct connected with moods as self-limitation/sabotage.

When and as I see myself going into the pattern of “I must first wake up by doing small things before I get to the bigger things and then the things I resist doing” I stop and I breathe – I realize it’s just a justification and not real and just to postpone the resistance of doing what’s needed to be done, I move myself to do what’s needed to be done though going there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use TIME and the time of day as an excuse/justification for why I am not doing certain things within the belief that if I do the things that needs to be done at this time of the day I will not be doing it effectively or just half way and that it’s not worth it, seeing and realizing that this is also a justification for not Being here in my body breathing but instead in my mind thinking and creating problems/reasons for why I am not moving myself, seeing and realizing that this is also a lack of self-commitment within my daily responsibilities.

When and as I see myself using time and the time of the day as an excuse/justification for why I am not doing certain things – I stop – I breathe I realize it’s a self-limitation that I have constructed and played out as a pattern to a point where I belief its real, and I forgive myself and move myself within forgiveness to stop the pattern and to move forward in my life.

When and as I see myself Using the excuse/justification based on the belief that if I do something a certain time of the day I will not be as effective as later on or in a different time – I stop, I breathe I realize that it is not real and only a self-created limitation within my participation in my world and so I push myself to prove to myself that I am not the limitation.