Day 561 – Believe in yourself, You are LIFE

Take a look at yourself, you are a tiny mind existing in a universe, you are a tiny mind only because you decide to exist within and as this mind, this mind consciousness system that functions on energy, this mind consciousness system that fucks you over every day in every moment, it cons you into limitation, it cons you into submission, it cons you into fear, it cons you into everything except for you to realize that you are LIFE.

Remove this tiny mind, this consciousness, and you are in fact LIFE, I myself have not lived this into actual fact, I have only realized this. Take a look at LIFE, all that is HERE one and equal, just look with your limited eyes, hear with your limited ears, feel with your limited touch, and already just with that you can see how great LIFE is, Life is here, always, we just refuse to stand with life absolutely, we refuse to trust that WE as life wants what is best for all life, like a mother that wants only the best for her child, we must also realize that LIFE is that which is not of the mind consciousness – anything that isn’t rooted within the seed of LIFE as what is best for all life, is of the mind and thus we must not confuse trusting life with what we see around us as being a creation of LIFE, what is around us as our creation is us forgetting that we are life and attempting to live in separation of life, which is failing drastically as our mind consciousness established world is showing us, it is crumbling down and the suffering and discord is beyond measures. Because it is not of LIFE.

We rather stand by the mind, we rather trust the mind, and we would rather look at the mind for security and for survival, not realizing that if we stand as LIFE, then the universe will in fact stand for us, with us, would you rather have the support of a thought? Or would you rather have the support of LIFE as the entire universe moving with and as you one and equal to bring about your purpose that is one and equal as life, to bring about life that is best for all life in all ways, and of course LIFE will stand with you. It is a matter of placing your trust in yourself as LIFE that is always HERE accessible in a single breath in each and every breath. But we lose each and every breath; we can’t even stand in a single breath as LIFE in full trust of life. Because we just do not believe in ourselves.

So I must forgive myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself as LIFE, thus not believing in LIFE itself and that life in itself wants what is best for all life, and to within this trust and believe the mind as consciousness, where I rather attempt to control reality according to momentary thoughts to direct me and to lead me and to decide for me what I must do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is for LIFE and thus my misplacement of trust within and as the mind is that of not understanding that LIFE is here one and equal standing for and as life in all ways and if I only place my trust with life as me then I can truly stand with the support of ALL life to bring about a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse the creations of the mind with LIFE and to within this confused create the believe that LIFE is against me, seeing and realizing that it is and was and has always only been the mind that is against me, the very thing I placed trust within, and to never even consider that fact that LIFE is HERE awaiting me to return to myself as LIFE and to trust myself as LIFE and to instead stand with LIFE and thus have the full support of LIFE or the universe to move with me to bring change to this world as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider that LIFE can stand with me, but only is I stand with LIFE and give LIFE a chance and to within that Believe in myself, and to stop the believe I have given to the mind, to the world and the systems that are here as the CON of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I can only stand with LIFE absolutely if I stand within myself as ALL life in fact as what is best for all life, and all life as me will only move and support and assist me is I in fact stand in oneness and equality as all life and to not confuse this with The law of attraction, as it isn’t a law of attraction hut merely a law of LIFE, a law that is best for all life and not for individual fain and self-interest such as the mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone in this world, that I have no support and that I have nothing that stands with me, and to within this fall for the mind and placing trust in the mind, totally disregarding myself as ALL life that is here as the universe as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is here, and as long as I am not here I cannot stand with LIFE, but that I am only standing with and as the mind as consciousness that is a human creation of limitation, in the act of spiting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never even consider Believing in myself instead of the mind is me believing in life, where this believe isn’t based on energy or abdicating self-responsibility, but actually in reverse, to truly believe in myself I believe in LIFE and this is done through breathe, to live this believe that it still is into a living fact, truth of self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give LIFE a chance, thus not giving myself a chance by placing my full trust in breath, and to within this breath walk as LIFE in all ways accumulating and creating within this world as the manifestation of the mind consciousness system LIFE as me as myself within my words and deeds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency on the mind even when LIFE is showing me in each and every breath that my real actual support is of LIFE, thus in each and every moment that I am b=in breathe HERE I am actually saying fuck you to life.

Day 560 – Good day Racism

Today I had an interesting moment, I went to visit a family and to help their children within Education in a town that is quite far away and in the middle of nowhere, well the middle of nowhere for me.

After my appointment which lasted a couple of hours, I was thirsty and hungry, so I went to stop at the “mall” if that is what we can call this place I stopped at.

There were a couple of shops and restaurants. I went to the shop and ordered myself a small Pizza and something to drink, the lady at the counter said that it will take about 15min before the pizza is ready. So I decided to go for a walk.

Now, just to give you a bit more of picture of where I am, about 99.99% of all the people in this town aren’t white people, predominantly black.

Since I have walked my Desteni Process for many years now, I inside of myself have no thoughts, no back chat or any kind of movement within me of “I am white” or “they are Black” – all I have inside of me when I am among humans is that we are all humans, here. Obviously through a lot of Self forgiveness and breathing I was able to remove pre-programming and brainwashing that forms voices and shit in our head that apparently we have to fear one another due to some differences.

So here I am walking, not even halfway into my walk I already had two people coming to me and say “ sir, white man, I want some food, some money” and I wasn’t even the person that looked like I have money, compared to the other people there, but because I am white I am asked as the one guy told me to face - I breathed and I stopped any thought or emotion in the one breathe and I looked at the perosn and said, sorry, I have nothing for you, we must fix this system for everyone to always have money (investigate livingincome.me) , but it does not occur to me in my conversations with people that they are black or white or brown and I am white, to me it is always simple, what is this person saying/doing, and not what is this “race” saying and doing in relation to me as my race– and I didn’t have anything to give them.

So in the crowds of people someone is suddenly waving at me, a person that is coming towards my direction, I took a look and I saw this person is giving me a smile and a wave, like he knows me, for a split second I picked my hand up to wave back, but then it clicked, this guy is white and he is waving at me ONLY because I am white (we were the only two white people there, so how obvious was this wave?)– so I did not pick up my hand fully to wave at him, Because I saw in that moment how racist it is what he was doing, he was literally only greeting me, and only because I am white, I didn’t see him greet anyone else the same way, and I certainly haven’t been waiving at every single person around me just to be friendly, so how would this have looked like If I waved at this total stranger just because he is white, but I am not doing the same for any of the other people around me, so I once again took a breath, I saw what me waving back would have supported within this persona nd thus within this world, such a small innocent act.

It was fascinating to witness and live this moment and who I am within it, because waving back, and especially in the way and manner of how this guy did it, like he waved at me as if he was seeing an old friend, a family member even and that because this friend, family member is here he can feel saver and not alone, which showed me that he has been living his life in complete separation of all the other human beings that surrounds him and only connecting with his own color of people, I mean that’s a limitation anyone places on themselves, if you are going to be racist your world is very tiny and lonely.
So I corrected myself, I did not wave back in support of this persons stance within society and what he is living out, I promoted equality in the living flesh, the correction, not identifying myself with anyone as their mind’s as who is what and how, and to equalize all humans within me as beings. This way I find it is much easier to breathe and to fucking chill, it is like if you remove yourself from this ridiculous racial bullshit that goes on in this world, inside of yourself, then there is no side one must pick to stand by, there is not “race” that one must support or not just because of the race factor of color and a few physical differences.

But, common sense is still required – even though I stop any racism within me, any discrimination's within me, it does not make it so for others and what they have accepted and allowing within themselves, but stopping it within me I have seen how much less I am prone to the bullshit fights and discord that takes place in the line of racism. Because your behavior changes, your internal reality is what everyone sees, the secret bullshit that goes on within any person is what is being seen on the body as the expressions, no matter how much one pretend, micro expressions gives it all away, the physical communicates with all its parts here as life all the time and that communication is happening on a secret level that only the physical can read and understand, so there is NO point in pretending to not be a racist – keep it simple and real and actually STOP your back-chat, your fucking gossip about others inside of yourself and what you spew out to other people, and get real with what is here as Life and resonate that.

Day 559 - Dealing with a lot of information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dealing with a lot of information and to keep my head together within looking at a lot of information and to consider all the points within looking at a lot of information and to not go into an emotional overload when and as I perceive information to be too much for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional “overload” within me as a feeling of I just can’t, it is too much for me to take in and to remember, to consider all the points and to remain in common sense and looking at things within practicality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up within me when and as I am reading a lot of information within the emotional feeling of this is too much for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the back chat of “this is too much for me” to exist within and as me as a self-limiting definition that I have placed upon myself through past events.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as separate from ALL information that exist here within and as all life and that thus Life is too much for me to take in and to understand what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that I am here as LIFE and thus all information that exist here Is me in fact and that I am not separate from it, and thus when I am introduced to new words and to new amounts of information that I am not simply forcing information into me as something that is separate from me that now takes a lot of space within me, but that I am simply re-activating what exist within and as me HERE already and thus I do not need to use memory as me more lies, but that I can in trusting myself be here and as myself be the information one and equal.

Memory
Being introduced to contracts for the first time in my life.

I was 18 years old, and I just got my first job, for this job I had to sign a contract, which meant me taking a contract home and reading everything and then eventually go back to work with this contract and then agree to it and sign it. but as I was sitting at home with this contract, knowing I have to first of all give up my “relaxing time” to go through it, which was quite a lot of pages, I resisted reading it, but I picked it up and I looked at the front [age and with reading everything on the front page I already had no clue what was being stated, I then went into the believe that if I read the second page it might make more sense, but it turned out to just confuse me even more, first of all I had no clue what the words meant, and secondly I could not place the words next to each other to attempt to see if that will explain the words and tell me something. But It didn’t. so I put the contact down and I just felt completely lost, only reading two pages. After a while I built up some courage to give it another try, and I started reading everything no matter how much I didn’t get or understood, and after I was done I had a head ache, my head felt violated, and I still had no clue, I could only assume things all the way.

I ended up not taking the job and just went to be a waiter, as that didn’t require for me to understand anything or to consider anything while I work. I defined myself as simple and more of a “practical” guy that works with my hands. This then became a life time of living in limitations, as I feared that same moment taking place and facing so much information and not being able to comprehend it and thus act on it accordingly, and thus fearing making mistakes and creating consequences that I have no idea how to deal with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to past events.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take one moment in time, from the past and how I experienced myself in that moment facing having to deal with a lot of information that was also unfamiliar to me in that moment and to place it onto all possible future events/play out and to live my life in such a way where I make decision where I can avoid having to face such events again just not to have to experience myself the same way I did in the past, and thus never giving myself the chance to grow and expand and to give my live more possibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and make decision within my life where everything I do such as positions I take within my life requires the bare minimal from me where I simply have to use my body as a tool for labor and where reading and dealing with information is minimal, and thus never really taking responsibility for myself or this reality as I am and will always miss the necessary information through my deliberate character that I have created for myself and have identified myself with others to be of “lack” and not “able” to as a form of manipulation to not have to really give myself the ABILITY to respond in regards to what is here within this world as me and to change myself and the world one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place “information” out there as my authority, may it be a person speaking the information or books containing the information and thus within this make and give Authority to those books and People over me and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the continuous resistance to exist within me throughout many years to a point where it has become normal and just an automatic behavior within me as who I am to live in avoidance naturally towards having to face information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the believe of “information” being more than me to become natural and normal within me to never challenge this point and to push beyond this point for me, for myself and to bring actual ral change to myself within this world.