Every time I open my wallet, I would look through my notes (money) just to generate this feeling of freedom and security within me, it made me feel like I have power, I have free will and choice.
After the first two weeks on the farm, all my money was gone, it was finished – I smoked back then, so smokes and essentials took my money quickly.
So, suddenly I had NO money, I had this consistent fear/anxiety within me regarding my stance within this world and who I am. I felt powerless and bound, basically the opposite to how I felt when I had money.
So I learned a lot of lessons quickly – first of all I realized I have NO idea what money is and how it works, I do not even know the value of money, I mean, I saw R700 as a lot, what does that reveal about my training from home and school regarding money, once I hit the real world by myself – POOF my money is gone, see my parents used to buy almost everything for me, and I used to only use my money for partying and my own entertainment. This quickly changed.
So in my crisis of having no money, I had a discussion with Bernard – Bernard said that I can stay and live on the farm if I work on the farm, do labor and maintenance as a start, and for this a room is provided, food is provided and reasonable comfortable life, plus pocket money, all basics will be met and a little bit more. I agreed to this with a massive smile – Because I LOVE physical work, I enjoy it, I live for it, so here I was able to do what I enjoy and have no worry about my basics being met – But Bernard added in, everything you see here and what we are building, comes from money that I made, I worked my ass off to start this and so that we can fucking change this world (with my dad present still at this time)
So here I was, with nothing, no money, and there is Bernard the complete opposite – my mind was blown once again, as my idea about money got changed very quickly.
One man worked his ass off, for many years in a business that he started, then stopped it, changed his course in life 180 degrees and have enough money to start a movement that will change the world forever. Even allow others from all over the world to come and visit and stay here for months and even years, being supported by the farm, by money Bernard made in the past – but every person that came/comes here, came/comes with a purpose, as the purpose of the farm was/is to support and assist as many as possible and to create a centered point for this movement that IS global, as a foundation and stability point.
But Bernard said, the only way to test if the people that start walking their process and that commit to changing this world to a place that is best for all life is and will be REAL in fact, is if the money I have created to start all of this runs out, and that this (Desteni) and all its branches continues by each and every individuals self-honest participation and understanding of how money works. If not then at least we know we have removed those that pretend and didn’t mean to change anything.
Back then it was kind of confusing what Bernard said, but after his money ran out and after his death – Desteni is still here, alive and moving forward by the will and participation of dozens/hundreds of individuals around the world. Now that’s what you can call real growth. I mean it must be proven in the physical.
It’s like removing the training wheels from a child’s bike and the child just continues driving – the development from there on is limitless.
I learned that Money is required to do anything and to bring change to this world, without it I will only be begging for change on the corner of a street – I also learned that R700 is NOTHING, I require at least 700 Billion to really impact this world.
I also learned that it is about HOW I use money, is it for what is best for all life in support of all life, or just for my entertainment, that’s the value I give the money, I can spend R20 here on smokes and R50 on sweets and R70 on a pizza, Or I can spend that money on supporting life and I will see the Value of the money suddenly meaning something more than my entertainment – because as long as money remains a point of entertainment within my mind, for my own self-interest, the value of money will always seem like nothing, but the moment I am seeing the value of money as the key to changing this world, Money suddenly has a value far beyond my own self-interest. And thus I will stop aiming for just the next pay check to buy smokes or candy or a drink, but to push myself to make millions/billions as it will contribute to changing this world. My aim naturally goes to LIFE.
As long as I do not understand money and how to deal/work with it and the effects ever cent has, I will always be a slave to money and my self-interest points towards it, looking at money as only a source for consumption for self-interest.
I also learned that as long as I live in scarcity towards money as my relationship towards money I will hold on to money and start having less and less – as I become self-preservative instead of expanding and promoting abundance within myself and not fear/stress – as who I am within/towards money starts reflecting in my reality. Because when we live in fear of not having money we start to spend our money stupid and can’t seem to see where it goes.
NO matter what, I must have NO feelings or emotions towards money – I must always stand in self-honesty and common sense within and towards money within myself and see it for what it actually is and to make decision with money that is always best for all life, promoting growth and expansion that is best for all life.