Day 570 – Accepting the Positive but not the negative

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a moment when I feel good, when I feel like everything is going in the right direction and things are looking bright, to within this feeling/experience lose sight of what is here, where I go into the experience of Bliss and ignorance to reality, within what exist within me and within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is okay to be in a positive/feeling experience as long as it isn’t bad, as long as I am feeling good, the world is okay, my world is okay, and so when I go into the positive feelings within me to create a polarity of negative through the ignorance and Bliss to reality, thus missing what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the positive experience of everything is Good, I Feel good and thus things are good within me and with this world, not seeing and realizing the obvious self-deception, as I know who I am and what exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make positive experiences/feeling within me okay, and yet condemn the negative just because of how each one makes me feel, seeing and realizing that the mind uses energy, no matter if it is good or positive, to enslave us in the mind, as I can see within myself for myself that when I am within a negative or positive experience/feeling I am within the mind, I am trapped and enslaved within energy and thus within my patterns/programs/behaviors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only Move and direct myself when I feel positive, when I feel good, and to within this acceptance and allowance give away my authority as myself to move and direct myself in any moment and to rely on only good and positive moments to direct and move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see me as being positive as just being that, being positive, instead of seeing it for what it is which is energy, which is the same in feelings negative or positive, and thus when I am within any mood/experience if it’s positive or negative I see it for what it is, which is energy, which is of the mind, and within understanding the mind which functions only on energy and thus enslaving the body/person to patterns/habits/behaviors not matter what feeling or emotion it creates within a person/myself – thus I stop any energy that is designed within polarity thus follows pre-programmed designs of patterns/habits/behaviors that isn’t best for me either way, as it is always set within terms and conditions of limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of chasing positive experience/feelings, which only confirms my actual experience of myself which is negative, why else would I seek positive then?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within a negative experience/emotional state of myself and to within this acceptance and allowance of me as being negative/bad/sinful always being trapped in the seeking of the positive and thus my life consists of me always only seeking positive, and that is all life will be and can be to me as long as I accept and allow this way of existence of polarities.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I wake up, and if the first things I think about in the morning is negative or positive, that the rest of my day will not be about me LIVING but about me seeing the other polarity or seeking to get out of the other polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it normal as who I am to live within a polarity construct day in and day out and so it continues till death, and within accepting and allowing it as normal I am not seeing, realizing and understanding fully that that is all my live can be, a polarity game, and thus when I die, I will die as existing as nothing more of less than just a polarity and I never actually lived, as I, as who I am without a polarity design is nowhere to be found, as I have defined myself according polarities which is simply energy that comes and go, not who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is Too difficult to not live in a polarity of either negative or positive, as I haven’t yet defined myself without the polarities, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into polarities as I have already given the polarities more authority then who I am here as Breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being directionless, or not knowing what to do with myself if I do not have energy that directs me in either positive or negative and to within this fear fall into the polarity design, thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give Breathe a chance, to give life a chance, to give ME a chance and to trust that I have the authority to step out of any polarity, negative or positive, and be in breathe and to move and direct myself from there within self-honesty and common sense.

Day 523 - Thinking versus doing

 

 It seems that most of my life has been happening in my mind. I am always thinking about my potential and living it, I can see what I must do and live to achieve this utmost potential. But the thought of I am not ready yet always seem to catch me when I am unaware so I postpone the living till tomorrow. But this just becomes habitual and always end up in thought. Which in the future leads to me creating a relationship with myself of "I am a fuck up" a loser, I cant trust myself, I am worthless and useless. These believes aren't necessarily spoken or being thought of. They are more so implied in the act of postponing and not living my utmost potential. The further consequences of these actions are now me leading into destructive behavior. The opposite. Which leads to cool realization. Which is that the initial thoughts I had/ have of living my utmost potential were based on a polarity construct of positive and negative and so ot is for me to stop ALL thoughts and to forgive myself to participate in thoughts no matter how positive or negative they are and to instead focus on what is here as my practical living in each breath which is the utmost potential of me here.

Day 489 – inherently faulty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not processing information effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the fault lies inherently within me for why I cannot process information effectively.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I as LIFE with proper instruction have unlimited potential including effective information processing

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that with proper instruction was missing in my formative years leading to ineffective information processing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within believing that I am inherently faulty that I have to redeem myself infinitely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried and attempted to redeem myself with much pain and strain cause there is nothing to redeem, as I see and realize that I have been trying to fix something which was never broken.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this point personal and thus to take this point personal, seeing and realizing that it could never have been personal and never will be as it isn’t a matter of who I am as LIFE but simply a point of what was put into me as my education in my formative years.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that those around me were fooled by the exact same perception and that they like me did not know any better as they to lacked proper instruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and disproof those around me about their perception of me but within this actually confirming and validating that there is something wrong with me, something faulty that needs to be fixed, because I am still working with the same frame work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a negatively charged relationship towards myself and to have made it my purpose in life to make sure that others have a positively charged relationship towards me, to compensate the negatively charged relationship I have towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this decision to be the starting point in everything I see and do where I forever see myself situation and environment in terms of how I can score positive relationships within this completely lose touch with reality and how things actually physically move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that the relationship I have towards myself is a relationship people have towards m, and that I thus have to take special action to flip the relationship into the positive and thus in all my relationships I have something to make up for.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how in my faulty perception of reality I set myself up to achieve the impossible and only ever set myself up to fail and where after so many consecutive failures I start to believe that there is really no hope for me and that I will be forever faulty/not enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have focused on fixing the perception of others towards me without looking or focusing what about me needs to change where I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to assess the origin of my own self relationship and take the steps to correct what is causing the inefficiency within my life, and thus correct my distorted self-perception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inherently faulty and that this is absolute and unchangeable in every way.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for misinterpreting my distorted self-perception

I see and realize that I am inherently whole

I see and realize that I have wasted my life chasing self-redemption when there was nothing to be redeemed.

I see and realize that it is now up to me to correct my instructions and to ask for assistance and support when I see that I need it to correct and re configure my instructions to one that is best for me, that is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see/feel/experience the urge to create a positive relation/moment to stop, breathe and re assess my starting point, am I trying to redeem myself and thus further ingraining the self-belief that something is wrong with me? So I stop, I let go, as I see and realize that this construct does not serve me and it will only further diminish myself and my relationship towards myself.

I commit myself to when and as I face a challenge and access an energy of giving up to stop and breath, I see and realize where this pattern comes from and that it is based on misinformation, I move myself out of the energy and assess what is physically here and what is physically necessary for me to do to walk through the challenge.

I see and realize that I have created a very strong self-belief around these energies and pattern where I belief them to be so me and so real that it might sometimes be hard to remind myself that this is not me and not who I am and thus I commit myself to give myself patience in correcting myself relationship within dropping the self-belief and remind myself that it is entirely possible for me to walk out and beyond this pattern as I have walked out and beyond other patterns before. I acknowledge myself potential and I do not accept and allow myself to give up on myself or to settle for anything less than what I know I can be and live.

Day 471 – forgetting to live and to express myself.

Without noticing, I have forgotten to express myself, to live myself, to be myself, to be here.

When we do something every day that is the same, we start to become the same every day, we tend to mold ourselves into a character that we believe can handle this daily routine, a character that is set in a certain mind set, a certain thought pattern.

This thought patterns that we construct will eighty percent of the time lean towards a negative one, because we live in a world that is negatively charged by fear and thus everything we do is out of fear, the very job we have and that make ourselves believe is something we are doing because we love doing it, is a lie, because we are doing it out of fear for survival, for our daily bread that isn’t naturally provided to us.

So this is also the danger, I have been doing the same thing over and over every day, which isn’t a bad thing, that is simply an opinion of judgment, it is who I am within it, have I become a certain personality within what I do or am I deciding who I am within each moment within each breathe.

See the difference, if I am accepting and allowing myself to “become” a certain personality within what I do through accepting and allowing the daily influences to mold me, then I will become a negative personality, it is as simple as that, and thus I will have a negative mind set which will lead towards a negative outcome. What we resonate is what we create, even if we pretend to be positive, it is the resonance, that which Is unseen that will shape the outcome of anything.

Then there is the other way, where I wake up every morning and I decide who I am, am I the authority of who I am today, am I taking on my life situation full force with all that I am here in each and every breathe, am I the one making directive decisions and living them fully, am I the one that is living my utmost potential in each moment.

So there is the difference, and what I have been living isn’t the second option to a certain degree, I have accepted and allowed everything negative in my reality to influence me, my goals and my starting point, I have accepted and allowed myself to become negative within my stance and to resonate that “downiness” of not achieving, so on a daily scale I have been living in a down mood, a mood that brings everything down with me, no beaming LIFE coming from me, just me doing what I do every day with the already anticipated downiness within me, of no results, not achieving, just the same as before. And surprisingly that what I create and that’s what happens then.

So I see myself living my utmost potential, yet I fail living it because the utmost potential I am seeing in my head is just that, it isn’t a reflection of real time, living in the rawness of reality, one and equal within how the physical actually works and what I need to do and how I need to move in fact, an that’s half the point, I can’t live my utmost potential if I am only focused on the mind and holding myself in the past results, I must burst out of this confinement of the past and I must move with full confidence and full self-assurance and really mean it, I must move with pride and I self-trust and I must really live the day as if I am going to die today, there must be no excuse, there must be no reason for me to ever say I did not do my best in every single big or small moment to make things work that is best for all life.

I must break the physical spell I have placed over my own physical body – the spell if called thinking and the curse is the thoughts, these habitual thoughts and secret mind thinking is the killer of all time, killing time with doing nothing, yet doing so much, it is like planting trees but not watering them, not nursing them, but expecting fruit. The details of expression are important.

I accept and allow myself to express myself, to live and to be here, I allow myself to be big as live, I give myself this as a guide in each moment within each breathe. I am life and I am allowed to live.

Day 98 – Moving myself Moving the World Part 4.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see things that needs to be done within practicality in my world and within what is best for all life to create the thought fo seeing myself doing it and already experiencing myself in the current moment as I project how I belief/judge how I will experience myself and to then create the back chat of – “I do not want to experience myself that way” – “I would rather go watch something or sit outside” – thus seeing and realizing that through participating within the mind as thoughts as energy that I actually create an experience within me of something that still has to come where as in the current moment I have no idea of how I will in fact experience myself, and so I see and realize that to project how I belief/judge how I will experience myself in the future in things to come is me already making it so, setting it is stone for myself while in fact it is just of the mind and not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself according to my own judgments/beliefs of things and thus I belief according to my judgment that I can only experience myself in that certain way within that event as I judged it, not seeing and realizing that it is my judgment that is making it so, thus I have the power to not judge at all and to instead breathe and to when/if the moment comes I will be here in and as the physical with no self imposed self created experiences of energy that only limits me in all ways, either through being emotional or full of fear and anxiety stress and or the opposites, as both are energy and polarities it is best to not feed one or the other as they require each other to exist as energy and thus breathing as no energy is the solution to real freedom and no self created limitations of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I participate within thoughts of the the future/past to go into the thoughts and give them validation as if they have the power to determine what I will do and not do, instead of realizing that I create the thoughts and thus I can stop and breathe and remain here one and equal as the physical moving myself as the physical where no energy/mind that is limited to its own information decide for me what I can and can not do but to instead use the physical as the true mind to show me what is here to be done and how within the principal of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into resistance of moving myself when and as a thought comes up that presents me with a picture of something else I could be doing such as taking a nap or going to the mall or the beach and to then judge what is here to do as that which is best for all life as less than and as something that isnt “fun” to do, thus I realize this is only possible through the process of brainwashing that has happened in child hood years and even still now, where I was programmed and taught that going to the beach or the mall or having a nap is fun and that anything else will thus not be fun and to have connected fun with an energy feeling/emotional connection that I will activate when I have the thought and to posses me and then go into a state of resistance to do what isnt judged as fun. Seeing and realizing that if I simply remove the energy connection that I have towards the fun stuff and remove the energy connection I have created towards the not fun stuff that all that will remain here is me moving myself physically, realizing that this is true freedom as there is no mind/feelings/emotions keeping me limited and only possible to do a few tings, but now as the physical I cna do all things as I am not limited by any thought/feeling/emotion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge doing what is best for all life as something that I have to do, realizing that as long as I see it as something I have to do. I have not yet dealt with myself and my own self honesty and common sense where I do see that doing what is best for all life is in fact the only way I should ever live and thus it must not be a have to but a way of life as WHO I AM as life, one and equal in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the system and the pictures and colors the system throws at me just like sweets, they look good, they taste good and thus I belief they must be good, till the research is done and we find out that is is actually broccoli that is good and sweets as a man made thing of many chemicals etc mixed together thus not made but mutilated (thus it is man) that causes a lot of shit for the body. And so it is to look at what I have made sweets in my mind within what I belief I like and rather be doing and to see the truth of it and the starting point of it all, and then to re evaluate myself and where I stand and what is really here as the physical in support of the physical reality one and equal as me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I move myself as WHO I AM, that I am in fact as WHO I AM moving the world within everything I do and say in fact as all is connected in all ways.

To be continued.

Day 23 - running out of energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within patterns of energy as moods, that is not best for me and not best for all, as moods and energy changes and determines who I am instead of me in each breathe as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in a system of polarities such as energy where the one energy relies o the other to exist, thus going into good moods and then bad moods and so FUCK with myself and everyone around me that is unnecessary and not best for all life, as it only ends up in abuse and conflicts that has not value, no real matter with in what is here and best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any energetic experience I have with in me is valid or real, I realize that what is real is here in the physical as that which we all equally share in all ways and that what is with in the mind or with in self as an energy is simply a self created feeling/emotion that occupies self to keep self enslaves to false gods as thoughts/pictures/memories as the mind consciousness system to feed of the real god as the physical, as LIFE here in the flesh for its own energetic experiences as negative or positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give validation to any energetic feeling/emotion/experience I have with in me, blindly through the believe that if I can/am experiencing it with in me that it must be real, realizing that I am making it real and keeping it real only with in me through validating it as real with in me, realizing I can simply stop the connection I validate it with and the energy that directs me and that determines who I am through my acceptance and allowance and stop and start directing myself here in the physical one and equal as Life, as that which is best for all life as myself in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy as positive and negative.

I forgive myself that I have not considered before that I can stop all energy as polarities with in me and direct myself in the physical with in each breath and that no inner energetic experiences are needed for this simple self directive movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  be addicted to energetic experiences I have with in me, if they are positive or negative and to be a slave to these energies through letting them move me as a slave with a invisible whip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to energy as positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in all ways through only move myself depending on how I feel as a negative or positive experiences, realizing that I can do and move myself so much more and effectively if I move as the physical instead of the mind as a limited confined space based on thoughts and energy that created boundaries and limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am what I experience with in me as a positive or negative energy, realizing that if I continue to live as an energy I will end up as one simply dying out once there is nothing to keep my energy going.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place some energies higher than others just because of how they feel to me, realizing that with in this I am creating the lows just so that I can experience the highs, and so create a life of self abuse and abusing others just so that I can have my energy hits as highs and lows to feel/believe I am alive while I was only existing as a light bold, switching on and off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see and realize that the energy addiction existent with in this world as moods/experiences as positive/negative is what is creating the world the way it is, where children has abusive homes depending on how daddy or mommy feels, and where wars break out and millions are killed, depends on how the countries feel, and that money is the ultimate HIGH in energy people can ask for, and thus everyone is doing their best to fuck up LIFE here on earth just so that they can have their HIT (energy) as happiness, neglecting LIFE as one thing and separating everything instead and thus creating/accepting/allowing extensive abuse/deception and inevitable consequences for all equally.

I commit myself to identify all energetic patterns with in my life where I have accepted and allowed energy to move me and to determine who I am and to stop the energy experience thought breathing and t see what I am doing, if it is practical or not if it is best for all life or not, is it common sense or not and to be self honest with myself and change, and to stop energy enslavement as the mind consciousness system.

I commit myself to stop all moods and to write, self forgive, be self honest with myself and to stop the moods, stop the roller-coaster of energy and to remain here in each breath as that which is best for all, so that I may be the same, stable and to be myself as a living expression and not an robotic energetic being moving and functioning only as he/she feels through data input output. 

 Life Review - I Believed I was Superior to my Mind