Day 7 - Using memories to remind me as untrustworthy.

Many time I have a very busy schedule in relation to thing happening during the day, I would in the morning tell myself OK I have to do this, then that, then that, then that and then I also have to remember to switch the pumps at that time, and switching the pumps includes flicking two switches, then pouring bleach in the water tanks then making sure the water ball it down so it can start pumping again. I use memories to remind me to do it, instead of simply seeing I have to do it. (much simpler)

Now I have to use my memory to remember all of those things, and I actually trust myself to remember it all the time, yet I still forget stuff. So this is showing me I am not breathing effectively and being here in consideration of my environment as the physical, moving as the physical with in full common sense and understanding, but moving as memory instead, which proved to me again and again that it does not work and can not be reliable.

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memory to do things, to remember things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as if I can trust it to remind me of the duties that I have to attend, or tasks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my mind as memories, when I am aware that with in the mind memories get lost, switched, changed and that they never stay the same as the mind interprets and add or take out parts, and that this is not reliable at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memories instead of trusting myself in each breathe with in awareness of my surroundings in consideration of all that is here as me in my current environment and the world, and to with in that in each breathe move myself in the physical with in understanding that if I participate in the mind at looking at memories to remember what I have to do that I will confuse myself, not all the time but sometimes, and that this is compromising me and my ability to move effectively, as it takes time to look with in memories instead of seeing here in the physical with in common sense what needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself with in and as the physical to be able to have and develop the skill to see and be aware of my surroundings and to act accordingly, realizing that if I participate with in the mind I can not possible consider my physical reality in space time but only interpret it as the past and not what is here presently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create layers of memories with in me to carry around with me just to remember things, instead of living here in the physical in each breath in awareness to consider my physical world at all times, and thus it is unnecessary to remember as you can simply see with in and as the physical that is required in the moment with in what your daily tasks/responsibilities are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the mind is more reliable than the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to use my mind as memories to remember things, as I can see and realize that I can simply see with in reality what is required as this requires no memory, no mind but physical direct actuality of using my eyes and seeing in awareness with common sense and responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my memories time and time again, even after all the evidence that shows me I can not trust my memories but only me with in the physical with in awareness of me in consideration to all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory to remind me of things just because I am to lazy to breathe and be aware in each moment of my physical reality, that witch is here in front of me the whole time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as memory as the past as a interpreted past by the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create memories with in me to work as a clock that goes off (hopefully) to remind me of things i need to do, instead of breathing and directing myself in each breath o do the things and not to postpone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as a excuse that I will remember it to postpone and to not take immediate responsibility and act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fill myself up with memories that I designed with in myself as clock's that must go off to remind me that I need to do something, leaving me under pressure and stress the whole time, and thus storing all the extra memories with in me as time and keeping me under stressful conditions and a time bomb, as memories actually get stored in the physical body in the cellular levels.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself under stress through postponement and keeping what I had to do as a memory to remind me later, rushing my day and getting frustrated at things because I have the memory the whole time of what I still have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own frustration through postponement and creating the past into memories with in me to remind me of what i still have to do, instead I realize that I can stop creating all the unnecessary stress and frustrations by simply being here and acting in the moments with in awareness and common sense in and as the physical and thus no memory needed.

I realize that if I have to do something later, that no memory is needed, only awareness and simply physical considerations with in my world with in each breath bringing all that is here as me.

Commitments.

I commit myself to stop when I see I am using memory to remind me of what I need to do later, and to consider in the moment why I am doing so, and to with in that see if I am actually postponing and creating extra stress and frustration for myself, and to correct myself and to instead act and o in each breathe here in and as the physical as that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to write out and to forgive myself for all points of memories that I have created with in and as me to remind me of what I have to do and that has proven to me that it can not be reliable, and that I have to consider that if I do this with in my world then I am accepting it with in the whole world and so I am accepting a doctor to use his memory to do operations on people, and that he can at any moment simply just not remember as that puts peoples life's at stake, and to realize that is simple common sense and awareness is achieved that no memories is needed, but only what is here in practicality and common sense, and so a doctor needs only to see what he needs to do instead of trying to remember.

I commit myself to focus on breathing and to write and do self forgiveness on all points where I fall and go into memories, till I have stopped the pattern and be here in awareness with in and as the physical.

Day 6 - Joking to hide

When I joke around with in saying something to someone, I find that behind the joke is a bit of insecurity, a fear, not wanting to face conflict, and that the joke is to make it lighter and a save place for me to say, I was only joking. Then why did I say it at all?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make jokes when I feel that I might say something to someone that they might find personal and react to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use joking as a way to feel save for what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use joking as a way to be liked and not to be hated for what I say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say I was only joking once I see that what I said or did was taken personally by someone and thus I feared conflict and used joking to escape the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use joking as a way to escape a situation of conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use joking to hide my insecurities when I am confronted or when I am confronting someone about a point, thus compromising myself and the other being in not having clear directive communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to joke around when I actually intend to be serious, sabotaging myself in being open and direct and allowing everything to be clear and understood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself with in joking a round in situations that required clear direction because I feel insecure about me giving direction as the director of a team/project etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make simple communication points more difficult for myself and others through joking around and confusing the information with jokes added in between.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as a joker and thus I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the only way I can handle conflict and situations if through joking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is to late for me to change from being a joker to being me here in each breathe, because I belief that others have and has only accepted me as a joker by now through time and can only accept me as that, as a joker and thus I must cont9nue with it like a pre programmed robot that is stuck on one play out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that what I have accepted and allowed in the past as me,a s what I have create myself as, as a joker can not be undone as I have already allowed this identity to be so in the eyes of my world and thus change will now only make me have no friends and no one to hang out with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I have friends or people to hang out with just because I have to stay as one personality, or as a personality in general for them to accept me and hang out with me, then the friendship isn't real or worth keeping in the first place as it is based on limitation and compromise/self sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and manifest a personality of being a joker, a guy that is funny and entertaining to be all that I can be through thinking and believing that it is the only way, realizing that I can stop and change myself at any time when I make a simply decision, and that what happens from there on as consequences will have to happen and that I created it as myself as my reality and now have to walk through it in self honesty and to stop the patterns of self sabotage and compromise and start living s that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to such a limited way of life a a personality that has to always repeat itself to be accepted and to gain recognition for its existence, implying it isn't really real as it requires recognition lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a whole personality in relation to joking just to hide my fears, insecurities, instead of facing them and changing myself through working with he points in simple steps of writing, taking self responsibility and self forgiveness with in self honesty in a short period of time, instead of living with it till death always in hiding.

Commitments.

I commit myself to stop joking in situations where I can see conflict may arise, and to breathe and face the situation as myself in the moment. with in self honesty and the principal of that which is best for all.

I commit myself to write and do self forgiveness when ever I see that I have accepted and allowed the point of joking to play out, till the point is clear and I can be in situation where I can stand in clarity, to be direct and to not sabotage myself or the other beings.

I commit myself to stopping this pattern with in breathing, writing and self forgiveness, using the tools that I have to stop my robotic behaviors that I have accepted and allowed as unchangeable and to take self responsibility for my actions and situations. 

Behavior and programming of the human see - Virus Free Mind by Bernard Poolman

Day 5 - Asked to do small things, removing the Ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when someone asks me to do something for them and when I judge what they ask  of me as being something small and that they can do it themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist helping others in the smallest of things that they ask me to do for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when someone asks me to do something small and that I judge the other person as taking advantage of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and belief that when another asks me to do something small for them that they are taking advantage of me, instead of realizing that only the ego can feel like it is being taken advantage of and that me here as the physical with out thought or mind can simply do and act in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I do something for someone that I judge as being something small, that the other person will see that they can use me as they like, I realize that this is only the ego that feels like it can be used and abused for small things as the ego always only want to be seen as big and strong and that it can not be used an abused.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I react with in having to do something small for someone and I do not do it, that I am with in this accepting and allowing myself to be a slave to my reaction as energy as keeping and idea of my self as the ego in place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to react when someone asks me to do something small for them, and when I do not do what they asked me due to my reaction, that I am only accepting and allowing my own limitation do move and ex[press myself in each breathe as life as that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain a slave to my own reaction towards people asking me to do small things for them.

Something cool - Bernard Poolman on Parasitic ego and the illusion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and hold on to my own limitations through not doing something for someone just because I saw it as small and stupid and that they can do it themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification "they can do it themselves, it is such a small thing" to why I am not doing it and limiting myself and keeping myself a slave to my mind and ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when someone asks me to do something for them, that I judge as being small and that they can do themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the small things in life as not being valid for me to do, realizing that it is the small thing that make the bigger things, as the atom is a great example, they are so small and yet everything consist out of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from doing all the small things, in the belief that someone else can do it and that I do not, realizing that if I can say this then I am accepting and allowing everyone else to say the same, and in the end no one will do the small things and thus neglect occur in this world as I neglect the small things with in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someone asks me to do something small for them as if they are using me to do their crappy jobs for them just because they are to lazy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I can not do the small things people ask of me, then I am that which I judge them to be, not being able to do their own small jobs and being to lazy.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place y own self judgment onto others as I was neglecting the point existing with i me as me and wanted to diver the point away from me to not have to face myself as the nastiness of mew when I react/act/get angry and judge when someone else asks me to do the things I judge as being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel abused when I have to do something that someone else asked me to do that I judge as small, and that I belief they can do it themselves, why ask me when they are just sitting on their asses.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when someone else is asking me to do something that I judge as being small and not worth my skill and that when I react, that I am only seeing with in myself who I am with in the exact same situation just in different times/places in my life, and that when I ask people to do small things for me that I feel guilty and like I am abusing them.

Thus I see and realize that when someone asks me to do something that I judge as being small, and I react, that I am only reacting towards my own guilt of when I do the same in some part of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when I ask people to do something small for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am abusing people when I ask them to do small things for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I can not ask people to do small things for me in the fear of that they might react, realizing I am only fearing myself if the tables were turned and how I would react and feel abused and used.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own shit onto others and then play it out and react.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what I do such as, when I ask others do something small for me as being bad and abusive, because I know I can do it myself but I still ask as I know I would like for others to do things for me as I would like to do for them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do onto another as I would like to be done onto.

Commitments.

I commit myself to when ever I am asked to do something for someone that I judge as being small, and that I react to, that I will breathe and do it, till I walk through the point and stand, to be able to do for another as I would like to be done to, realizing that I am responsible for myself and my inner world.

I commit myself that I will use the tools that I have of breathing, self forgiveness, common sense,self honesty and writing, to stop the pattern hat I have followed for many many many years that has compromised my life and created UN-necessary conflicts purely because the ego felt threatened, and to stop these patterns of self sabotage and limitations.

Day 4 - Using my voice to sing and going loud - not hiding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear using my voice to sing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hear singing with my voice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my voice as ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my voice negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my voice as not being good enough to sing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being heard singing by another people and that they might ask me to shut up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure about my voice and how my voice sounds when I sing and make my voice loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my voice as just not having the potential to sing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by my own judgments about my voice and how I sound.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced bu how I think/belief how others are hearing my voice as not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o fear going beyond my own belief and self created limitation about my voice, and to sing and express myself with my voice with in singing and playing with sound.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my past experiences with singing to determine my present in relation to using my voice for singing and being loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back on singing for myself because I enjoy it out of the justification that others might not like it, or that others might not want to hear me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I do not practice and train my voice it will remain rough and not sounding so good, and if I continue to allow others to influence me in training my voice just because they do not like it, I will never get beyond my own accepted and allowed limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what others say about my voice and singing as my own and my self definition of that I can not sing and therefore I must not try.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mind controlled by myself through accepting and allowing what others say about my voice as being true and real and that it must be so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing beyond the resistance and insecurities of singing and to face the beginning as the training as the trial and error so that I may correct myself and stop living in fear of my voice and how I sound and being loud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hurt by others when I am heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear hurting others when I am heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear of being heard and hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear emotional pain as being judged by others opinions and judgments about me being heard and being loud and how my voice sounds when I sing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed me to express me as my voice with in singing as that which is best for all life as myself, as singing, as a being that does not fear being open and loud and expressing myself in self honesty, realizing that as long as I fear being heard I am still living in secret and in hiding and thus I am accepting and allowing myself to not be a trust worthy person as I still keep things in secret in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being loud and thus keep quite, and so accept and allow other human being to remain in silence and to not speak up and be heard and to do what is best for all life with in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being heard by others and so I can see that as long as I fear being heard by others I can never really hear myself as I try and hide my own physical voice from my self as I do from others, as I can only treat others as I treat myself.

I commit myself to when I see I go into silence and wanting to hide my voice, to not do so and to continue and breathe, or to stop and see what it is that I am doing and to correct myself.

I commit myself to use my voice and to express myself with my voice in a way that is best for all loife, and to be clear and loud about it. 

I commit myself to speak up, no matter how loud, to push my self to sing when I want to sing and to not give in to insecurities and self judgements.

Here are some cool songs where people express themselevs with their voices in a way that is best for all life.

Matti Freeman - God or Money -

Joao Jesus - The message - what you Gonna Do Now

Robot Virgins - Fire

Esteni & Viktor - Freudian Law

Day 3: Do I need approval to change?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need approval to stand up and change, to stand as life one and equal as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need approval from others to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I need approval to end all abuse in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need approval to give to all life equally and what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire approval from others to do what is best for all life as myself and to end all abuse and to bring about change that can and will create heaven on earth.

realizing that I am the one with the decision always. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I am not changing through not getting the approval that I want from others to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and make approval a key point in my process of change as a deliberate self sabotage so that I can remain in fear and not change and take self responsibility, as I know that change implies change and that change is facing what I have accepted and allowed to manifest in this world as consequences that requires me to intervene and fix it as myself, that will take time and effort and though this realization I have created a fear towards all of this to not have to face it as myself.

I commit myself to stop the fear through walking through the consequences in common sense and to not keep on postponing the points, allow it to become bigger and bigger, instead I take action in each breathe

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and who I am as changes that which is best for all life through creating the point of needing and wanting approval first to stop me and to let the abuse in this world continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing as I have always only done anything through approval, and change requires me to decide and to live it practically in each breathe as that which is best for all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I was born on this planet only to get approval, instead of realizing that i do not need approval as long as I am doing only what is best for all life in all ways.

Commitment.

I commit myself to write and forgive myself on all points where I feel/belief that I need approval to change and to stop the mind created belief and to do what is best for all life as myself one and equal in all ways and to take the steps/breathes to change.

Virus Free Mind by Bernard Poolman - see how we are similar to PC's in how we function are programmed.

Day 2 - When I use money/cards

Today I went to the mall, I had some money in the bank and I had to use it to buy basic stuff for animals and for household things and for the plants in and around the house.

I saw that every time I took out to pay with my cheque account card I felt like I had power/authority, like I had some kind of power and ability not many has, which is true.

I saw that every time we had a meal or purchased something I was the one that the bill was brought to and that I had to place my card down and pay, this brought up a form of feeling of being proud and that I am seen as a person with authority and respect.

I could see in my behavior how I changed toward people, I was looking down on them, saying to myself, I have money and you don't, I have a card with money on saved and ready to be used at my command, that I have a secure future with money.

This was clearly a point of ego and this is not acceptable as it is that which creates abuse in this world and accept and allow the money system that currently exists that is not best for all life, and keeping it in place. 

What is money in the world?

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of ego, instead of practicality and within consideration of the current money system and how to direct my money to bring about change,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of bragging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel power when I take my card out of my wallet and that I am able to buy something physical with it that I can touch and use and see and have to myself, realizing that this power I feel is powering a monetary system of complete abuse and not what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money blindly with in the starting point of power and control and to with in this not see that what I do with my money and what I purchase with my money is in fact voting for what I am willing to accept and allow to exist in this world as abuse and as that which is not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belief that I am a authority with in this world because I have it and that I have money on it and that the money gives me authority, realizing that I am actually just a slave to money and that i have been fooled into being brainwashed to belief I am an authority in relation to the money I have to keep me a slave to the current money system so that those with all the money can continue making more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money for the sake of feeling good about myself and how much money I have saved up and are able to use through purchasing goods, realizing that this is in fact the pattern that supports consumerism that is in fact not best for all life and is all about greed and profit and not caring about life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud that I can take out my card from my wallet and pay for things, as if I have accomplished something in this world while the world is clearly still based on self interest where billions of people starve and die of hunger and live on the streets and where animals and plants are disregarded and abused for money, thus I realize I have not accomplished anything yet but that I have only made some money and that I have saved it up in the fear of my own future with money, and thus I realize that in my actions of feeling proud and that I have accomplished something I am only hiding the truth from myself that I fear my future in this world and this current money system, and that I have in the act of feeling proud accepted and allowed my fear as valid because I have made myself belief that because I have money I am secure and save in this world and that I am separate from the rest that is not secure and save and that it is okay for them to suffer but not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all those that does not have money, that does not have security and a warm home and food through only protecting my money in a bank and keeping it to myself and not spending it in a way that will support a new world that is best for all, but to instead hide my money and only use it to make myself happy while I hide my fear that causes me to save money up, my fear of the future and the truth that I know myself, that this world is not reliable with in the current money system and anyone can lose everything at any time and that I can swap places with those that I leave in situations that I do not even wish for myself but allow others to be with in it.

Thus I forgive myself hat I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind money as my security in the fear that I might one day join those that I separate myself from that currently does not have money and that has an abusive life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do anything about the current money system to change it as I know that what I do onto another shall be done onto me, and currently what I am doing is hiding behind the security of money and leaving those that I have separated myself from with in my mind -  out there in the cold to fend for themselves, and to still have the hope that when I might join them one day that they will have mercy on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can separate myself from those that has no money and a life of safety and food and cloths, through hiding behind money and the things I purchase to make me feel happy, realizing that I am on the same planet as them, that I am of the same substance as them, and separation is impossible and facing myself as them is inevitable. 

Equal through substance!

Thus I realize  that I have to take self responsibility for myself in each breathe, to use my money only with in that which is relevant and to bring about a new monetary system that is best for all LIFE, and to change my starting point with in how I use and why I use money daily and where I place my money is where I place my vote.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to fear losing all my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that If I do not save money and keep a secret stash in the bank that I will not have a secure future.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if something happens to me with in the current money system, that I can lose everything including what I saved up, as the current money system has no mercy and simply see all life as numbers and not life and that I should while I have money and a job and the opportunity to do something in this world to take my money that is hiding and spend it, use it in such a way that I know it will accumulate into that which will bring about a world that is best for all, and thus I secure my future equally with all futures as one here on earth, and so I will release myself and all life from the pressure and the fear of daily survival and allow all life to live life instead of survive. - best for all as equality!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money has more value than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money can buy me out of physical consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I have money I have some sense of authority in this world and thus I can simply avoid consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the comfort of having money saved up while billions/the whole planet earth is suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my false idea/belief that money is all that matters and the only way life can exist, and thus hold on to it in fear and apathy, and not move myself and my money to bring about a world that is best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and spend my money in this world on random stuff that supports consumerism and the abuse of life, exploiting all life for profit to support my random shopping consumerism,

thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow a system of exploitation of life in complete abuse of life for the sake of profit through my randomness of spending money on random stuff just because I feel like it, realizing that this is in fact me being responsible for all abuse on earth in a direct inter linked way, and thus I am not to be kept out of the consequences to follow but to have to face them as me as the direct responsible one in fact as I was allowing and accepting it with in voting with my money where I spend it and how.

Commitments.

I commit myself to stop the pattern when I go to the mall and spend my money, to only spend it on practical things that is actually relevant and that is required to life and support myself and my environment.

I commit myself to stop the ego point of having money and seeing myself as being more than others that does not have money through writing and self forgiveness.

I commit myself to stop the pattern and to actually use money for what it currently is in this world, to get all basic needs, and when I have all basic needs to not buy, purchase other good that is purely based on consumerism and that is counting as a vote for accepting and allowing the current money system that way it is.

I commit myself to use all my money in all ways in such a way that where I use my money and how, that it will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to stop the pattern of holding onto my money and wanting it to grow and be kept save in a bank somewhere just so that I can feel save, but to commit myself to let go of the false idea of life that money is alll that can ever exist, and to take my money and use it while I can in such a way, a common sense way that will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to not hide money in the fear of the future that I have already projected in my mind for myself, but to commit myself to stopping the fear and to direct my money in a way that is best for all life.

I commit myself to to making more money so that I have more money to direct it in a common sense way that is best for all life and to getting the mess sorted out for all life equally and to not hide behind my money in fear of only my own future and creating a false sense of security.

Realizations.

I realize that money is needed in this world currently, and that I require money to be alive and to be able to survive.

I also realize that money can be used to change the world the way we have accepted and allowed it through simply re-directing how I use my money and that where I place my money is a vote for my future world/life as all lives on earth equally.

I realize that money is the only way that the world can be changed as everything functions according to money and how it moves and to where, as money does have all authority currently and not the person at all. It is money that decides if you can feel like you have authority, so who actually has the authority lol.thus it is to take back authority and stop the patterns and direct the money to that which is best for all life.

I realize that if I spend money on random stuff that I am with in that voting for random stuff to exist in this world as the current capitalism system for consumerism and that with in this everything on earth as all life is being exploited and abused for it, for my random spending with money, such as placing live baby turtles in plastic bags so you can carry them around for 5 months till they die.

Day 1 - Commitment to write through the resistances and fears and birth self as Life

Today I wanted to write about a point , I saw that I had to write about it and yet I kept on postponing the point.

As the day moved on, I saw the point going away, I basically suppressed the point and ended up not writing about it at all.

I went into a state of feeling tired and depressed, like I did not want to participate  within my world, I just wanted to lay down and sleep.

I looked into why it happened and how, I realized that I had a hidden judgment with in myself about me writing and that it is not good enough.

That what I write isn't good enough for others, it does not meet the world standard of what good writing is defined as.

This has happened many times in the past and it has/have been a pattern that I accepted and allowed with in myself as a limitation of myself,  I never questioned it and simply left it to be.

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to judge myself and what I write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and that what I write as not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and what I write as not being good enough in comparison to what the world standards are and seen as good writing material to read.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what I write as not being good writing material to read -  according to my own perception and belief of what is acceptable in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with in comparing myself to others and how/what they write, and thus accordingly judge my own writing if it does not match up with in how they write and thus I limit my expression through knowledge and information, instead of realizing that I have to with in my writing express myself as who I am, and thus my skill with in writing will increase and I will be more effective and specific, and thus it is not from the starting point of comparison but from me allowing and accepting myself to express myself within writing as myself unconditionally so that I may learn and develop with in the skill of writing effectively and being specific.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my writing as not being good reading material, instead of realizing that good writing comes from writing a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up with in myself towards pushing myself to write more to become better at writing and built more confidence with in my writing as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself within writing and becoming effective within writing, realizing that I am postponing me becoming effective and specific in the skill of writing as myself and not as a comparison based on knowledge and information which I set a limitation on me, and when I see I can't reach the expectation that I have created in my mind through thoughts as comparison, I give up and go into depression and postpone and time loop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write from the starting point of comparison, instead of writing for myself as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to comparison as being a valid reason to give up and not push through and better myself with in the skill of writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing is something that must come naturally to me, realizing that it is a skill, and as all other skills, it must be developed through consistency and a lot of self writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself within comparing myself to others and how they write, sabotaging myself even before I have started writing or given it a change and to teach myself and to give to myself the chance to develop a effective skill with in writing, realizing that self sabotaging is unnecessary and not common sense as it does not make sense to why I would just give up instead of simply doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when I write that I will be judged for how I write and how I structurally place my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for how I write and structurally place sentences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge how others write as good or bad and accordingly place the judgment onto me and how I write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  resist writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge all limitations that I simply accepted in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give all my authority to the mind as thoughts/thinking/judgments/back chat and feeding the mind consciousness systems instead of breathing and remaining here with in and as breathe moving myself to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and to give into fears and resistances and judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate fear and to create the connection with in myself that fear is valid and real, realizing that it is all mind created and not real, and once I breathe and push myself to write I will see and realize that what is here as life as me in and as the physical is real in each breath.

Commitment's.

I commit myself to write everyday on all patterns that I see play out during my day, that I have accepted and allowed as normal in the past.

I commit myself to take self responsibility for myself as all patterns that I have accepted and allowed to simply play out as normal during my day.

I commit myself to take self responsibility for all my patterns to stop them as automated actions and behaviors through applying self forgiveness and living the correction in the physical as myself as all life as all patterns that exist.

I commit myself to with in each breath look at myself and to identify all accepted patterns that I have allowed to play out in my life and to take self responsibility for myself as all patterns, to change and to do what is best for all life.

I commit myself to birth myself as life one and equal with in taking self responsibilityfor all automated patterns that I have accepted as normal and to stop then and to forgive myself and change.

I commit myself to writing everyday on all patterns that I have accepted and allowed as limitation as a robotic automated system/program to direct my life and who I am, to take self responsibility and to stop all patterns through self forgiveness and to correct myself, to birth myself as life and to be the directive principal with in my life as that which is best for all life.