Day 550 - The deception within spirit science posts Part 1

This blog is to start showing the deception within spirit science posts and Guidepost of light posts and name them all, you have seen them going around the internet, being shared and liked and easily being agreed to, and what is being promoted, for today’s blog I will take this picture above which says ‘ Sometimes, it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone – it uses just the right word, “sometimes” which is already a mind justification, which means a person that see this post on Facebook will probably now trust what Spirit science has posted as true, because they could agree with it according to how they feel/felt, and thus a person that has now agreed to it, will now subconsciously implement such behavior into their life, and it will be implemented in such a way where it fits the persons self-interest best, and not the best interest of all, because no one understand how the mind works, so it’s a big problem to promote “thinking” to the human race while not understanding how thinking works and how people respond to this. 

And then it uses the word “Feels” – to manipulate people to agree, because everyone “feels” and we are subject to words and how they make us feel in moments, so with sometimes and Feel, the post created a feeling within the viewer, and thus making the viewer believe it is their choice to agree to this post, avoiding common sense and self-honesty completely, the post give NO point of understanding, which shows it is literally feeding of the viewer’s emotional body as the mind consciousness systems – but what the person agrees to comes after the feeling has already been created, and that is – not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone – thus a point of separation, distancing from others have been created, which is a good point in the minds of people, because we have such conflictual relationships with ourselves and thus communicating with others it isn’t the best thing most of the time, it is better to avoid and to remain the same, to not face reality and most of all the reality of ourselves, thus actually prolonging this process of changing the world, starting with ourselves.

And the fact that this post is so short and yet so effective is because it is running on opinions, believes and ideas, and not based on actual common sense, which again shows how easy it is to catch people in the web of CONsciousness and to keep them where they are, making something sound good is a bonus.

Why does such a simple and short saying with a picture get almost 7000 likes and about 21 500 shares?

Because it confirms one thing, it is in support of the mind, there is NO common sense presented and NO self-honesty within such a saying, it is feeding off how people are “feeling” and thus only confirming such feelings to be valid, thus leaving people to be slaves to how they feel, as a creation of the mind consciousness system. No self-movement, no principles that one stand by and that one base decisions and actions upon, just moods and feelings/emotions that is being validated and lived by.

Let me go a bit deeper – for those that are walking with Desteni you will understand what I am saying, for those that are not, here is a bit more perspective and common sense and to be Honest with oneself, which means, when we experience something and we express that experience, that feeling/emotion or thought, we are being honest. Self-honesty is to be aware of self as the Universe as LIFE here, considering all life, and thus within this point realize that one is in fact one and equal to all life and thus responsible in fact for what exist here as life currently as OUR creation, and that thoughts/feelings and emotions aren’t who we really are, because, where do they come from? And that the world as it exist now is a direct result of who we are right now, existing as consciousness, as thoughts, feelings and emotions – and thus the problem is what we each individually exist as right now, which is consciousness and thus the thoughts, feelings and emotions are the problem, because we are following these things inside of us with NO understanding or clue where they come from, how they are created and why, and we have NO clue what the consequences will be in the long run in all possible play outs through simply following what we experience within us as thoughts/feelings and emotions.

So if one gets that, then it should be clear why spirit science isn’t presenting any common sense or self-honesty, it is simply stimulating consciousness, it is propelling consciousness as thoughts/feelings and emotions, keeping people right where they are and not promoting actual change. And how do you know it isn’t promoting a solution, because it sounds dame good, in a world that is fucked up, in a world that is dying, it isn’t showing the truth, it isn’t revealing reality as it is right now for earth as a whole, it is targeting the elite of the world, those that can agree with them without having to do any effort, it is a convenient truth, which shows it’s a problem already.

The world needs a reality check, the world needs common sense, self-honesty and people that walk by principles that is best for all life, the world needs people that are putting effort into questioning everything and keeping what is Best for all LIFE and standing by that, people with integrity and determination to change themselves first and the world, people that are daily in each breath focusing on educating themselves and learning how the mind works, how is it that we are ticking the way we are, and to change that, to stop the organic robot and rebirth self as LIFE, the earth needs humans that put aside time every day to speak and write and to stand together with all those that is doing the same, with these people coming together as normal citizens and rising above and about for LIFE, creating a world that is best for all, not people just liking and sharing positive messages and sounding positive, how is that helping anyone when the reality of what is here is ignored through good sounding post/blogs/videos.

This group already exist, it is Detseni and I am a Destonian, Join us and walk the truth of what is HERE, that which has been denial for far too long and time is running out.

Day 549 – Mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the Mother construct within me as me being a child that belongs to another person, seeing and realizing that this mother construct within me and wanting to hold onto the idea that I belong to another person is keeping me form being my own person. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mother is more special than any other mothers in this world, and thus within this believe praise my mother and make me “special” and more than other children, creating and continuing the inequality within this world as ego and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the mother construct within me as I fear that I will lose something of myself, seeing and realizing that I cannot possibly lose my mother unless I have self-interest points invested within her that only serves me and my will as the ego.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the love a mother and a child proclaim for one another ha got nothing to do with one another within this world as it is purely self-interest driven for survival and money in a world where fear drives everything, and as one can see within placing oneself within a perfect world where all is equally taken care of and has a guaranteed life of dignity on this planet that mothers and fathers and children will suddenly have no worries of fears of letting go of each other and living their own lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within making myself believe that a mothers love for a child has to be an emotional one, where the mother and child can manipulate each other and make sure each one is surviving in this world by leaching off one another, through using a secret system of debt, where the mother gave everything and now later on the child owns the mother everything, seeing and realizing that such emotional relationships is a disease of the current world system that forces people to be leaches for the sake of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive my mother in her innocence in the sense that this world makes no sense and to within such a world create relationships of nonsense that isn’t best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to take on and stand within this world that I require to keep such relationships on the emotional level with my parents for the sake of a safety net, seeing and realizing that keeping such a safety net is simply holding me back as there is a back door, knowing that if I keep an emotional relationship with my mother that she will still benefit from me as being her son as I am feeding her some sort of energy and thus she will at any time catch me when I fall, thus already creating the fall, yet seeing and realizing that a clear physical communication relationship within common sense can be established and kept, as such a relationship will be equal and one to all other relationships that is best for all life, and to stop the mind games once and for all and for each one to face themselves sooner than later till it is too late and we have sucked the life out of life and no one stood up for life as reality was/is still being kept in a veil for survival.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the facts/truth of what is here, we all die and after death no one is someone’s family or friends and that we are all one and equal and thus must already be walked this life and to not have to face the shame and regret in the afterlife for only protecting and keeping save one’s own “blood” and disregarding all other life as your entire family, on your home planet called earth, just for some emotional relationships that is kept in place for self-interest and to survive till death.

Day 548 – Shaving my Head Bald, and what changed – Self Honesty

Yesterday I shaved ALL my hair off once again, plus putting a razor to my head so that it is smooth and shiny. My head is still very white and has to adapt to the rest of my bodies skin tone, so it looks a bit funny at first, like it really is sticking out. 

I sat in the bathroom in front of a mirror on a chair with the hair clippers in my hand, I was a bit nervous doing it, But I made a decision and I followed through, I turned the shaver on and started buzzing all my hair off, then I cleaned up and went to the sink to start and now really getting all my hair off with the raiser, this was fun.

 When I started shaving I could feel a sense of comfort within myself after the initial nervousness, and I got really relaxed within doing so, as I have returned to some part of myself that I have been suppressing or hiding from the world.

This I found quit interesting, because I used to be bald for a long time before, for at least 5 years or so, but I started growing my hair back about a year and a half ago when I started a new business venture. Initially I was bald starting this business venture and I did this for about 6 months, I was extremely comfortable with myself, and what was more fascinating was that everyone noticed me and remembered me and enjoyed me being bald, may it be business people or just normal people from all walks of life, BUT kids found me most fascinating and always wanted to touch my head and feel it, because they do not usually see a guy that is bald.

The whole reason for me being bald previously was because of a stance I made, a decision I made and where shaving my hair and keeping it shaved was for LIFE, a commitment to life, to when I always shave my hair there is this deep connection I have formed, like a reminder of why I am here, what I am doing and that I will do this till it is done, to walk my process and to change myself and rebirth myself as life and to within this process accumulate global change with everyone else that takes on this active journey together one and equal.

So now, back then when I was fist bald, I really got used to it and it was way more practical for daily living and just better I have found, which I enjoyed a lot, but there was now dozens of other people around the world with Desteni that has made the same stance and commitment within shaving their hair, some only did it to get over it and face some real deep shit attached to hair, which can be social, family, society I mean hair goes deep within what the human has made out of it, mostly sexuality, and with me starting a business the fear arise within others in my environment (that wasn’t part of Desteni) that me being bald and the reason for it might affect business and what I do.

So I made the decision to grow my hair back and to see if having hair makes a difference, but this decision didn’t compromise my commitment or stance at all. I remained the same. So after 6 months of doing business bald and then a year and a half of doing business with hair, I have found that there was absolutely no difference for me. Because I didn’t change, it was always about whom I am and thus what I do and how I express myself. Even if people did find it interesting or different at first, it was actually an amazing connection point I have found within Business, because NO one forgets me, no one confuses me, and everyone can recognize me from afar, this changed as soon as I grew hair, people found it difficult to make that initial connection and remember me, but I kept going with it, trying to “fit” into the system more, and in fact I fit in so much that I just became one of the system people again.

So, while I was Bald and had a shaved head, people always asked me why are you bald, and I would answer them, saying that I do this as a commitment to self-change and changing the world, plus it is way more practical, and guess what, people LOVE to see other people that is committed and to what lengths one is willing to go to live for something, it shows a certain “character” that isn’t seen much in this world.

Here I am, bald again – I tested out both side of the same coin for myself, I have realized it is always about who I am and how I define and stand within points/challenges – and that people’s reactions is always one and equal to the stance that I have within me as who I am, if I am insecure or feel there is something to hide or to not get people’s attention to something that I have judged as Bad, then that is exactly what people will do, If I see myself standing in a group that is global and having a shaved head with dozens of others for the same principle as bad, or cultist, guess what, that is what it becomes and shows me that I am not clear within myself and that I haven absolutely taken a stance. This is the principle of the universe, oneness and equality, and this isn’t about image and looks, that’s not what the universe stand one and equal to, but with the substance of everything here and how we are using/directing the substance as ourselves within ourselves.

This is my experience within the point, I have tested all things within this point and keeping what is best for all life, including myself to be at my utmost potential.

This was an interesting test for myself to see and realize I am the source, the master, the creator and as long as I give the system power over me, then that is what I will create and manifest (bad things), if I accept and allow the system to over throw my stance within who I am as standing as Life as what is best for all, even in the slightest reason/justification and not standing, then the system continues, I cannot con the system as long as I am conning myself, deceiving myself, living in perceptions and ideas of society.

Self-Honesty

If you can be bald and make/create it to affect your reality in a way that is best for all, Do so, take the stance, go baldly where no one has gone before. It is what I/you make of it - but be self-honest about your decision, which one ever it is.

Side note: All the women and men in the world should go bald – this way we can really get men and women on a “equal” eye view, wouldn’t that be interesting, how will men change towards women and women toward men? By removing a major part of the image for real, of the mind, and lets deal with each other as BEINGS, not things – and of course dress the same (most practical clothing for both human forms that is the same). Real empowerment. Love the person for who they are and not how they look, putting that saying into practical living application globally.

Day 547 – Jack of all trades, But nothing special, Mommys Favorite, Self- Forgiveness

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having ever really finished something that I started doing and to always somewhere along the line either stop or just let it fade away into nothingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the experience of guilt due to how old I am now and how much I could have accomplished throughout my life if only I ever finished something I started and to within this have this wondering emotional body of what could have been if only I didn’t quit or stop or just let something fade away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this regret of not finishing something throughout my life build up anxiety and fear within me within what I am doing now, as I have over time only proven to myself that I cannot finish something that is long term and thus I haven’t yet established real dependent commitment within myself of myself as who I am within what I am doing as the starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for how I have taken on only her patterns and way of living and doing things, never going in fullheartedly and giving it my all no matter how long it takes and to push to the end till it is done, and to not do anything for energy as time has proven to me that energy as emotions/feelings/thoughts isn’t sustainable and thus cannot function within the physical reality and how things actually work within space and time and thus the process of manifestation/creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my mother for making me her favorite son and that I was placed under that pressure of having to always keep my mother happy and thus my focus became my mother and short term goals/achievement that always only kept my mother happy, seeing and realizing that this is me victimizing myself and blaming my mother as placing the responsibility onto her for who I have accepted and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for me accepting and allowing myself to take on that role as her son and to always wanting to please her, thus seeing and realizing my participation/creation within this role, where I also played a self-interest game of always getting my way to feel good and to manipulate and take chances/advantage of my position as being the favorite child.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as much as my mother enjoyed me taking on the role of always pleasing her and being her favorite I also enjoyed it equally because I played the role and thus no one is to blame, and thus this means I must stand up from this design within me and take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how not only did my mother place a certain role I must play over me and me accepting and allowing that, but how through me taking on that role I placed my mother within a certain role, where she had to always not seem or be happy, where my mother didn’t have to take self-responsibility for her own happiness/joy and thus we became dependent on each others characters to keep the show going.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always do things in my live whereas the end result must be me pleasing my mother, making her happy, seeing and realizing that even after many years of not being home or in my mother’s presence there is still a resonant point within me where I hope that what I am doing is making my mother happy and proud and that no matter what I do will show my mother what I did and that she will smile and say I am happy my child, thus seeing and realizing that within this resonant point within me and my life I can never truly do anything for myself and to truly take self-responsibility as everything I do then will inherent this pattern that I have developed with my mother of not finishing something and only doing things to achieve a momentary feeling of achieving/completing/creating something but was only a milestone, not the end and run with that to my mother to show her she can be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the internal relationship I have created towards my mother within and as the fear of losing my mother and thus losing a part of me, seeing and realizing that my mother is her own person and that she has given me many many years of her life, as it was her responsibility as she brought me into this world and thus wasn’t a favor, it was her responsibility and thus also not something I own her, as I am grateful, but I am not in debt to her for doing so, that’s not how life is supposed to work otherwise we will always exist in debt on a personal level and a global level as the money system based on some fairness logic that does not exist and thus no one will ever get on with their lives and LIVE, yet she has her own life to continue living after me and to keep such a relationship within me and to sustain such a relationship toward my mother on a resonant level only keep us enslaved to this pattern of never truly living our own lives but keep waiting on each other.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to truly let go of my mother as the energetic relationship that I have built with her over many years and that I haven’t given to myself MY life to live and to freely make choices that are truly my own and not based in bias where the bias is to secretly make my mother happy and to not disappoint her, and to truly develop myself for myself to be my utmost potential and do things that is in alignment with what makes my mother happy but to do things that I actually have genuine interest in, such as changing this god for saken world and do whatever it takes no matter if that makes my mother happy or not with what I must do, such as going against social conformity and brainwashing and calling out the bullshit in religion and not being the son she wants to to be just to keep her happy, but to free myself and her from this lifelong energetic bondage that is simply not serving either one, YET have a relationship with my mother is based on respect/honor and care/love based on the common ground of how all humans must be towards one another.

To be continued.

Day 546 - Jack of all trades, But nothing special, Mommys Favorite

All throughout my life, or as far as I can remember, I never really “finished” something that I started, thus I never actually build a skill, I never really specialized in anything, I would always stop, or what I was busy with/doing would simply start fading away and I would just not be doing it anymore. This has been a pattern that I can see I have created and trapped myself within for a very long time and it is one of my most difficult patterns to work through. Because I developed a character that always starts something with a good and positive energy, even if this energy isn’t visible as in me looking exciting and all jumping around, but within myself there is this positive energy, where I have convinced myself and where I have within myself made a decision to do this, that I am going to not quit and finish this. So it has become quite a tricky pattern I have set up for myself to trap myself, because even within walking my process I seem to have simply modified and changed a few things here and there to make It “look” like I am starting something and finishing something, I am here referring to long term things.

Where did I develop this pattern and why? When I look at my childhood years and as I grew up, I didn’t necessarily have this pattern within me that I was living out back then, but something throughout my early years did give me this influence, impression on how to take things on – so here I am investigating my mother, because I see and saw that she had this exact same pattern, My mother was amazing at doing short term things like cleaning the house and doing all the quick odds things, which surprisingly I am as well, But she never did anything that was long term, so here I didn’t per say see my mother (the most influential person in my life back then) NOT finishing what she started, I just didn’t see her do anything that is long term, only short term things, thus My father who was the one doing the long term living such as working day in and out providing for us, was unseen, I was unable to learn that part from him, so I copied my mother’s short term living, where I always want satisfaction after each thing I do, preferable the same day or week.

And let me be clear, I didn’t even finish any PC games or PS2 games; I played them for temporary satisfaction, but never got the end, so this pattern wasn’t developed just in relation to doing “hard work” but also in relation to play and fun, anything that took time and patience, breathing, physical application, one plus one accumulating and end result.

But why did I take on this pattern from observing my mother but for example my older brother didn’t to my extent, neither did my younger brother? Well this is the cold hard truth of family dynamics and what takes place within families, that as the middle child or three boys, I was Favorited by my mother and I knew this, and thus I wanted to copy and be just like my mother, this in a way gave my brother space to NOT be influenced by my mother as much as I was, so they had space to find different role models, or develop more of an independent view of reality and what they want to do.

My focus was on being my mother’s son, which meant I had to copy her in ways that would make me more like her, thus being her favorite even more, I never considered ANY of the physical and developmental consequences that would manifest within myself and thus my life through these actions, because as a child I was totally free from the responsibilities of what exist outside of school and home and those kind of long term responsibilities weren’t really placed within me through education or anyone to really understand where my focus should be in developing myself, thus I did focus all my time and energy and development on “energy, feelings, emotions, highs and lows” and develop myself in an energetic way that fit my current childhood years and to survive at home and school, but once I had to go out into the world, what happened? My mother was removed from the equation and I was left with myself with all these behaviors and patterns that had No use in the long run, and did not support me constructively to develop and enhance myself effectively to be my utmost potential.

So I became a Jack of many/all trades, I have many skills, but they all end at some point, I am great at my short term skills, in fact amazing, but pushing them into a long term point and it becomes a problem, because energy only stretches so far.
To be continued with Self Forgiveness

What does Christmas mean to me as a Destonian - Day 545

To most people in the world Christmas is a day or a couple of days of celebrating the Birth of Jesus, or just for Santa Clause, or just for festive seasons, where families come together and they present presents to one another to open up and feel blessed – months before Christmas, all the people in the world with money went out and spend a lot of their money on these presents, and decorations and so much more to express themselves and how blessed they feel, or are, towards the people in their lives, but of course in the name of Jesus, or Santa Clause or just for a Because reason.

So Christmas to most people in the world is a fantastic time, it offers some time off from the system, the system that we are enslaved to, where our money is always tight, or we have money but no time to spend it, and of course it offers time to have fun, to be with our families and to just have what we actually desire the world to be, a fun place, because fun is kind of deprived from everything else from the rest of the year, people take this advantage to just let it all out, to go wild, to go nuts, to indulge in the festive seasons and to enjoy being distracted from the system that is keeping us so tight all the time.

We can say that Christmas and the participation in the whole Christmas thing and how people take it on and participate within it is evidence that most of humanity do not really enjoy the current system we are all accepting and allowing to live in, because of the extreme way that people participate within it – but that is the whole point of events like Christmas as designed by the system, to give people that release of all the stress and anxiety and fears and everything that the system is a cause and effect of, so that the people can continue next year, the following year the same way as before and just keep it going.

So Christmas isn’t Bad or Good from a Destonians stance, as a Destonian we make sure we do not create any illusions about the event and to be controlled and enslaved by such events to just continue the following year the same way, to just remain in the illusion that there is apparently “good” in life just because, look Christmas is ahead, or Easter, or Halloween, to not justify LIFE as it is here in fact, in the day to day living of life within all walks of life, which is mostly bad all the time, such as poverty does not end due to Christmas, nor war or famine, or droughts and environmental disasters caused by the humans industrial systems that isn’t in harmony with life as nature and the animals.

Because in the current system as it exist, even Destonians are still here and part of this world till we have multiplied and changed things, we take part in Christmas from a practical perspective, it is time off, it is time to have with the kids and family and to have a few days to slow down and reevaluate and to realign directions and priorities, and to perhaps speak with family members about the state of the world and getting some common sense and common ground between one another. We see Christmas within what is here currently as the world as an opportunity to drive and stand and do what is best for all life, to not fall for the “illusions” of everything is okay, and happy, and that it is going to be this way forever, but instead to strengthen the physical relationships and bring them all back to reality through coming together, through talking, to sharing and so on.

As Destonians we change Who we are within it all, and thus who we are determines what we do, standing in others shoes, caring and sharing the real things, because if Christmas was all about Jesus as it started out as in the beginning, then we can all ask what would Jesus have done? He would definitely not have celebrated his own birth, he would have condemned us all for even living in a capitalist system, never mind allowing children to die of starvation, Jesus would have probably grabbed a whip and beat the shit out of everyone and throw tables over and smite us down. I mean just look at the whole Santa Clause symbolism in the words that was created for Christmas, it is Satan Claws, to obvious. The opposite of what Jesus would have done, Satan’s got his claws in us all, trapping us from actually living as Jesus did, indulging in capitalism in Jesus name, how sick is that, it is dishonoring Jesus and his message and what he lived. Destonians will not do this because that is still also just form an assumption, plus we do not live in the same time as what Jesus lived, but do onto another as you would like to be done onto refers to the world as a whole, love thy neighbor as thy self refers to the world, give as you would like to receive refers to the world, we have taken it to only our own families, Jesus said to follow him you must leave your family behind, as that is the only way, now not literally, but inside yourself the world MUST be your family in fact.

So Christmas to me as a Destonian does not “mean” anything in terms of a feeling/emotions or self-definition, or about some religion or buying presents and spending money, or a release, or to escape the system, it is a day of the year, or a season/holiday that by the system has been placed as “not having to work” and thus you have off time, and we use this off time to practically and physically participate in our reality, because we realize not everyone is a Destonian Yet, most people around us is still in the system and of the system and thus we must walk one and equal with what is here, but who we are within it all is where the change starts, we can enjoy this time, we will have fun in this time, because it is so nice when humans do come together and actually interact and learn and share one another, which does not and cannot be possible in a system that drives us to only die after only surviving and keeping us far apart from each other.

Over all, Christmas is Bullshit, and we must create a world that is Best for all, and thus a Christmas will not be necessary, as giving as you would like to receive will be a consistent way of life, every day will be a present, everyone will be your family, love and care will be visible in our daily living as a whole.

As a side note: Before I stood as a Destonian, me and my family gave up Christmas and haven’t had any Christmas for the past 10 years almost, but instead we all just come together and are together, no presents, no decorations, nothing. And this in itself is and can be fun.

Day 445 – I just cannot change, Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and breathe the believe that I just can not change, instead of seeing and realizing that it is just a believe and not real in fact, and that the only way I can see for real and in fact if I can change is to for real and in fact change in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the excuse of “I just cannot change” is exactly that, an excuse backed up by a secret desire to not wanting to change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to change as I am holding onto secret wants/desires that is of the mind that I do not want to give up, where I know that if I actually take the first step that these secret mind wants/desires cannot exist as the changed me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set in stone the believe of” I cannot change” without ever testing out if I can change for real through actual practical real change within my daily life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to change as I want to “remember” ME, as I have identified myself as memories and thus do not see a real me that does not exist as memories existing outside of the real of the mind as memories/thoughts/feelings/emotions, thus fearing the unknown, knowing that if I take the steps to real change into the unknown that I will change, thus the unknown isn’t that unknown, as it is known that one will change and not be the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the me that I know as the mind within attempting to change who I am as that which is LIFE as the universe as me in reverse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I will be if I change, yet not considering that I change myself within the principles of what is best for all life, as that which is one and equal within and as the universal principles of how everything work and thus taking my status as a co-creator, and thus I know the change will be what is best for all life as long as I cross reference myself in the physical and not through the mind to see my living and not my thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who and how I will be without thought, where thoughts have been my god within my mind guiding me all my life, since I could remember, showing that before I could remember I was functioning perfectly well without thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that who I now exist as the mind and as a physical consequence within my behaviors and patterns has become a comfort for me within my life and thus even though I am pushing to change a part of me does not want to change as that part is of the mind and wants to remain in comfort, no matter how abusive or against me these patterns and behaviors are, as they support the mind as energy which is like a drug addict that can’t quit, thus I am stuck in the addiction of the mind patterns that is controlling my life and within this believe that I am unable to change, yet not realizing that just like a drug addict I must take a physical step in change and that it will not be what I want yet it will be best for me and everyone else.

Day 544 – the fake Free Mind, reactive mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by events within my reality, instead of directing myself within the events that occur.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards a person suddenly asking me to help them with doing something, and to within this sudden moment find myself within my mind where I am wanting to say NO, because I believe I have limited time right in that moment as I have to get to do something else in that moment, YET when I look within my mind at what this something else is I have to get to doing, I cannot think of it, and thus I say YES to helping the person, and then after helping the person I find that I missed getting to a certain responsibility and to within this place the blame onto the other person, where I see within the “sudden” moment being asked for help, I should have slowed down and before saying yes out of being polite, I find out first what is in my schedule and to within this make a decision that is best for myself and the other person, such as helping them in the moment of making a time to help them out later.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from responsibilities/commitments through living in a state of kind where I am “always available” as to be a good person, yet within this I am not being good to myself within developing trust and consistency within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that by being “good” to others wherein I compromise myself I create blame towards everyone in my reality and thus later on develop self-hatred, as the self-hatred comes from me not honoring myself and taking care of myself and to rush into the mind as energy within moment of doing things, instead of slowing down and assessing within practicality and self-honestly the moment within ALL of my day that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear directing my day within things that I need to get done and do as I fear I will let others down who might have needed me or appreciated me helping them out, but instead I am helping myself, seeing and realizing that I have judged helping myself as a bad things, as being self-fish, yet the evidence is clear within the physical that if I do not help myself and take care of myself that in the long run what I do isn’t sustainable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self-honest self-movement commitments/responsibly that is outside of the normal things of doing which is usually for “survival” and that is for world change through living in a state of mind during my day where I just react to my reality within doing things to be a “good “person for others just to feel good for a moment, seeing and realizing that if I remove the reactive state of mind within how I respond to people and my environment, then I can slow down and breathe and prioritize what I need to do and check myself self-honestly, if I have time to now or later to help someone and to first get that what I have to move and direct and to then make time to help the other person, thus removing the mind driven reactive moment and grounding it with slowing down and first checking, being okay with checking – unless it is an emergency moment, then I simply respond.

Thus where does it come from – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make changing the world within my personal capacity and within my expression at a global level through vlogging, blogging, socializing, writing, commenting, sharing, creating content, researching, educating, developing and more, as less important than the systematized enslavement designs that is in place and to within this always prioritize only what secures my survival and making that “important”, which means working daily for money and then in my free time do nothing to much but just enough to be “good”, and to within this create the state of a “free mind” that knows it should be doing other things that isn’t pre-programmed but can only happen through self-movement and giving time and direction to CREATE it but isn’t a MUST in my mind as there is still “choice” and to within this easily compromise myself through just reacting to my environment that works as a distraction from what needs to be done and placed into this world as a correction.

Day 542 – Money relationship, Life relationship Part 1

Do you remember when you were small, like really small and young, before you knew anything about money, before you even knew that money played a part in your LIFE, in your expression, in what you can and cannot do?

I do, I remember when I was small and young and I could just play my days away, explore my home and the garden, make friends and play with friends, where I could just sit in my room for hours doing my own thing – I remember when I could just pack a back pack full of toys or things and pretend that I am going on a journey through our garden.

Not everyone had the same childhood experiences of course, I also had the bad moments, those moments where I got yelled at or spanked for doing something I wasn’t supposed to do or that was wrong., and where me and my siblings would fight and not get along, or with friends, or any other form of conflict that could possibly have taken place, and of course in some families far worse.

The point I am bring in here is, can you really remember those moments of when you were young and small, where you were along with yourself and your mind was still quit empty, not as much BS as there is now, where you could still be in touch with you when you are with yourself, in your moment, I would like you to find those moments or even just one moment if you can, those moments where you are you regardless of who is around you or your circumstances, if you had money or not.

Because at some point in all our lives, when we were young and small, we weren’t aware that MONEY was a factor in our lives, we weren’t aware that money deiced anything and everything of our environments and how the adults are around us, and yet in this point of innocence we were still HERE, we were still ourselves as an expression.

So find that moment in your life before you had any relationship with money, and see who you were, now look at who you are and how your entire life, every action is based on money and around money and for money or in fear of no money.

Bring back that self, that child that can be here, stand as LIFE as an expression of LIFE regardless of what ones current money situation is, do not live for money, live with money, change the relationship where money is just a tool, like a hammer, yes it can do a LOT more than a hammer, it can make sure hammers are being build, but I am simply using the hammer example as a reference to what money and our relationship toward it must be, once we see money as a tool, we will much more easily deal with money, and who we are as our expression as LIFE isn’t dependent on money and how we feel or what we do as who we are, sure money can limit what we physically can do OUT there, but we are always with ourselves here and money cannot decide that relationship. even if a bag of a billion dollars falls from the sky, who you are must not change.

Just as a side note - do not misinterpret this blog, this is about my/our relationshop towards money within us that needs to be first cleared, money on the outside world as it currently exists, control every aspect of our lives and what is happening on this planet, and we can only stand in absolute clarity within changing this world with money and what we have if we stand no matter what within ourselves in clarity as WHO we are and all our relationships towards money and how we have defined ourselves as money and with money and stop that, and thus also laying out the solutions needed in this world more clearly and how to stand as examples for those that takes this path now.

In a follow up blog, I am exploring my own relationship towards money and my relationship with myself as LIFE and doing so within self-forgiveness, the above blog is simply a realization and insight I have placed for myself.

Day 541 – Investigating Ego Part 1

I was once told by an old school friend, Gian, You have a big ego, while this person wasn’t looking at me with a smiley face, it was more of a concerned and disgust face, but in micro expressions almost, because it was a friend and the friend didn’t want to “insult” me, so to say. 

So my first impression was, EGO means, when someone thinks a lot of or about themselves, as in general, everyone thinks about themselves and only themselves, but if you have an ego, then you think a LOT about or of yourself.

After this friend said those words to me, I was a bit angry, because I could not properly distinguish between him and me and why only I have a BIG ego, the main reason for my anger was, because I did not actually understand the word ego, I assumed what ego means due to the moment we had, I was talking about girls and parties and so on, which included me a lot, and my friend was talking about girls differently, he was more the romantic type, and I was more the player type as I can recall, so my way of talking about “girl’s” was insulting to him in a way, and thus he reacted and said to me I have a Big ego, basically only thinking about myself.

After this interaction, I walked away and I was now concerned about this ego thing, in fact I didn’t know how personal I took it till later on the same day, I was thinking about this ego thing so much that I built up more and more anger towards my friend saying I have a big ego, my back chat started running where I would think things like, “how can you say I am only thinking about myself, any guy in this world wants sex and no matter how you play the game it Is ALL about yourself, the male, the sex, I simply approached it less intimately and more in a cold way, so the separation part is easier for both.

I basically reacted to my friend saying what he is doing is all about the “girl” yet he knows as a guy as ME that it is never about the girl, the girl has what the man wants, simple.

So I created a grudge towards this friend, but secretly, in fact I made it my goal to PROOF to this friend that what he is doing as a “romantic guy” that his way is still JUST a game and nothing different from mine, and thus also EGO because it is only about HIM and HIS wants/desires.

As the days in school went by, I obviously interacted with this friend normally, but whenever I got the opportunity, I would say things to him to “test” his mind and where it is, very subtly, I will say things that only me “type” and ego will like, and not his romantic type, but I said the things I did in such a clever way that I could show him that he is no different.

For example, I would go sit next to this friend that has now labeled me as a BIG EGO guy because I talk about women as sex objects, where he does not do those things because he is so much better and mature and apparently has a deeper connection and understand women more and knows it isn’t all about sex and blab bla bla (the mind of a sixteen year old) and I would just sit there, quite next to him, and then I would ask him simple questions, like – what girl do you like? And he would say, no one at the moment, and then I would look at a girl that is walking around on the school grounds that is judged as not so pretty and outcast, and I would point and ask him, do you like that girl? And there, on his face, a face of disgust, the frown, and he would then look at me and say, Gian, why are you asking me this, and I would say, I am just checking if you as a “romantic guy” that do not see girls as just sex objects but that there is more and something emotional apply his rules to any women, or only pretty women, he reacted, stood up and walked away.

See, my point was, I wanted to proof to him that he is full of bullshit and just EGO as well, no matter how pretty he painted the picture in his mind, because if it is about beauty, and that you can only be a romantic to someone that is seen as a “sex symbol” – well, then you are only thinking about yourself and or of yourself in the whole picture, no different than me, I just did it openly.
The story of Ego to be continued.

Day 539 - opening up points of fear and regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR letting go of the fears within me that I have used to define me and to thus guide me and control me and keeping me enslaved to patterns and behaviors that I believe is best for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of not having money and security within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of being all alone in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others think of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others might do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what this money driven system can do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being harmed by other humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of not having a roof over my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of living the same way as billions of others do in this world, in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of losing what I hold dear through changing or through circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my time and the time that I have within this world and not using it to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of doing something wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of failing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being seen and actually being different from society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself and what that might mean, which is unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be trapped in this world system and not be able to change a thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the world coming to an end as an actual desire that I had as a kid, just ending everything, and now seeing this desire was actually a denial of a fear within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear JUST doing what I see I need to do in moments and to push myself beyond my fear in any moment to do what is required to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things out of fear and to within this do things out of fear anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fears and deny my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this reality and the cruelty that exist within it, from the system to the human that created it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually take that step to truly change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what that actual first step is to actually change and to take a stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself to the service of life absolutely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if the world/my life changes that I will face myself as who I am and what I could have done to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that at the end of my life that I will face myself as regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me facing my self-dishonesty at death as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and live as, as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as consequences that isn’t best for all life and that knowing that who I am currently isn’t yet standing as LIFE and thus I know where I must move my ass.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already live in regret and to fear that because of this regret I will not be able to ever actually change anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my past as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to define myself as and to within this fear that I will just die as a past and not as LIFE that is standing in absolute self-honesty and that I everything in my power to change this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking crazy within me expressing myself to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying and speaking the common sense and the self-honesty that is required to be spoken to penetrate this reality and to bring change, starting with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will never get rid of my past as a current definition of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the truth about me into the core of who I am and to stand up from that and to see what is HERE for real as LIFE, where nothing is painted in thoughts/emotions/feelings to be something else, and to fear what I might see as OUR creation that is here of abuse and absolute dishonor to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the dishonor that I have existed as and still do to some extent towards LIFE.

Day 538 – The believe that what I know is always inferior to what others know

I have done hundreds of presentation in the past two years of my life, from one on one presentation to family presentations to doing presentations for dozens of people at a time. I have found within doing all of my presentations that I am confident, I know what I am talking about, my presentations are always mind blowing. But, this is because the information I am sharing with the people is something they are kind of familiar about, it is about education and learning and developing a child to reach their utmost potential within education and the education system that is here. This is easy, because it is accepted by everyone and within their vocabulary, thus their current accepted and allowed believes and ideas and opinions and the brainwashing of the system as the “normal”. So what happens when I go beyond that, outside of that? I have tested this many times, the results aren’t what one would think or believe. 

To give more context where I am coming from, I have to mention the following – I am part of a group/movement called Desteni, and I have been walking with this group/movement for the past seven years a fascinating journey, one that is most unexpected, many that read this will already know about all of this, many will not, so this is for those that doesn’t know, and to put it short, within this journey I have changed drastically in many ways. The person I used to be cannot be compared to who I am now. I have walked this journey within self-forgiveness and practically applying the corrections, developing self-honesty and common sense, where I do all of this within the principle of oneness and equality, as this is the principle of the universe and we are HERE as everything that exist, thus co-creators of LIFE in fact, we are responsible for what was, is and will come, by walking this Journey we remove all separation within ourselves and to stand one and equal as life to be able to take on FULL self-responsibility for what is here in all parts of life and to enable ourselves to in fact move and direct our realities and thus reality to change what is here to be what is best for all life, stopping abuse of life and creating heaven on earth – this is all written in a very short context – so please do not assume anything, to continue.

So basically walking this process with Desteni, it is my life, the process and re-birthing self as life and taking responsibility for myself as LIFE – and this means no matter where I go or what I do, I am always busy practicing what I learned and implementing what I have realized and testing out everything for myself and keeping what is best for all life, this does NOT mean I go around preaching to people about Desteni or what I have learned from Desteni, this does not mean I go around and make noise about a group or movement, this means WHO I AM is a living expression of what I have walked with the group/movement, this means over the years many things has become natural to me, it has become who I am, so I cannot suppress or just deny it, and thus I speak about it, I share my story naturally, when people ask me or tell me things that they see, I respond from my expression, within self-honesty and common sense, speaking from what is best for all life, this means taking all life into consideration and responding in equality to where each person is at, and always only what I have walked and realized for myself.

So obviously, EVERYONE I meet in this world belongs to a group or movement, may it be religious, and may it be just something “spiritual” or not, every person belongs to some group/movement, everyone has their Idea/believes/opinions coming from somewhere, so this sometimes create conflict and resistance within conversations.

What I have found as a reason is because what people are saying from religious groups, or from spiritual groups or other movements, comes from a very long line of history, so no matter how ridiculous or insane or non-sensical it may sound, it always is “right” – because it has been taken and seen as right for so long, and what I say or share or give perspective on coming from what I have learned and realized through walking my process with Desteni is so NEW, it is seen as just not acceptable, because it is so different – YET makes so much sense, and no one ever denied the common sense, it is always just a resistance or reaction.

In the past, I have given into these resistances and reactions, and actually for a while didn’t share or open up about me and what I stand by, just like how everyone else stand by something, no difference, just different in the message and the application, but I somehow gave power to the other peoples movements/groups and what they preach and say, as if it is more powerful and has more value and that it is more right, just because it is accepted by everyone with ease and comfort.

SO I realized an interesting point, why do people that is within other movements/groups as religion and spiritualism or just causes, so easily accepted each other being here and what they believe in and not resisted within what they say or preach? A side note, YES everyone has haters and people that goes against them, that’s kind of natural, but in general society, if a Christian and a Muslim or Atheist walk together in the same store, they are fine and KNOWING that what each one believe in is different and not the same, yet are okay, feeling some security, and that they are simply 100% okay with what they have as their group/movement within them, and they will preach and wear different cloths to show and display their groups/movements and they will with honor and pride share their principles and believes and everything that goes with it if asked. So the point that I had to investigate is why I am making what I am walking and living as weird and different within ME as and from my group Desteni, and thus creating the response from the outside world exactly what I am experiencing and expecting. And I came the one simple answer – FEAR, Fear of being different and not making it OKAY within me just like how ALL the other groups are doing it, and thus each group just respect each others believes so to say, sure there are global wars in the name of religion, but here in SA, everyone and every religion works together and live together, so I am coming from my reality/perspective as a cross-reference.

So I am applying what I live within what I am living to investigate my actions, where I feel I must keep myself secret and what I do, fear that what I have to say is less valuable or inferior to what others are saying and preaching, just because what they are saying or preaching has been here for thousands of years and so done within confidence.

I will write more on this point to come.

Day 537 – WTF is Usury?

Usury is today the practice of making unethical or immoral monetary loans that unfairly enrich the lender. Originally, usury meant interest of any kind. A loan may be considered usurious because of excessive or abusive interest rates or other factors. Basically a loan shark in slang, but understanding the word and the meaning of Usury is more relevant then “load Shark” – as Usury as the original word have a lot more to it and isn’t limited or defined by loans ONLY. As it states – interest of any kind, and this is the point I want to focus on.

what is more staggering; Usury is regulated currently by governments where limits are set, yet the corporations and companies find loop holes and deceive people and the government to take much more, yet making it seem like it is meeting the regulations, not that I agree with the regulated standards either as everything in this world is motivated by greed and self-interest. Why do we accept and allowed as a society for certain companies or organizations to charge massive interests, without any question. Like getting a mortgage to buy a home the interest is so high that some people end up losing their homes and sitting on the streets, this is but on example of Usury, Usury used to be condemned as sinful. And if we look at how Usury is playing out in society currently, it is sinful in terms of what it is doing to people’s lives and thus society, just for those that does the lending to make a shit load of profit.

We have to take the point back to ourselves and see where in our lives we are playing out any form of Usury “Interest of any kind” – to give more of a clear understanding of what I am talking about, let me give you an example.

Let us look at something personal that may occur in a person’s life at some point, like sharing or giving something to someone, we do so with the intent that now the other person own us something in return, let’s say you buy your friend a coffee because he didn’t have money on him at that moment, a couple of years down the line you suddenly need something, like 100 bucks, you will go to your friend and you will ask him for 100 bucks, he will say wow that’s a lot of money, and then you will suddenly say, HEY remember that time I bought you a coffee when you didn’t have money? And your friend will feel like he now just have to give you 100 bucks.

So now, is 100 bucks after a couple of years equal to a coffee you bought him way back? No it isn’t, but why did the friend give in and say OK, here, take the 100 bucks, because when you bought your friend coffee many years ago, it was in a moment of need, the friend might have been really tired and needed coffee to perform better at work, or just to make it through the day, it was all a emotionally charged moment, it was vulnerable, your friend was vulnerable and you had the strength at that time, so the money spend and what the money was spend on wasn’t a lot, but what was a lot was the emotional meaning, the intent and the gesture behind it all, which was more valuable is what counted, so after time this is what grew within YOU who stood as the strong point, that you had to sacrifice something in that moment for someone else, and thus within you the value became also more than the coffee and the money spend on it, thus over the years the USURY (interest of any kind) grew to such an extent within the lender (you) and the borrower, that the borrowed could now be forced to pay back ANYTHING that is requested of the Lender, because now there is a sense of “gratitude” that is at stake, and this emotional sense of gratitude fears that if it cannot repay or pay back the lender that the borrower is sinful or evil, and the Lender (you) know this, and usually if your friend would refuse to pay you back in any way possible for something you did for them in the past, what do you do? You become nasty and spiteful and will even condemn the friendship to hell and the person. LOOK what I did for you and now YOU aren’t willing to pay me back?? You will pay for this some way or another.

So you see through that example, which I hope brought the reader closer to understanding how Usury takes place in our daily lives within many other points besides the lending, for example, holding a grudge against someone for bumping you in the street, over the years this grudge becomes so much more within self, that if the opportunity arrives to bump the person back, we would instead bump the person and then beat the shit out of them, believing it to be fair.

so it is important that we see who we are INTERNALLY and within our personal lives, manifest into systems and other forms of programs that run this world at a larger/bigger scale, and for us to develop the ability to respond to these monstrous activities destroying and harming like and ending it, and changing it to be what supports LIFE, we must first take SELF – responsibility for what exist as the same systems and programs within us, to truly have the responsibility as the Authority as the co-creators that is here to stop it and change it.

Day 536 – Back to the word responsibility

About two weeks ago I revisited the word responsibility, only to realize that what I previously redefined as responsibility was still based on the mind, as a point of morality, where I want to be more than reality – thus taking on tasks and things within my reality that was/is unnecessary.

Let me explain a bit more, there is common responsibilities that I have, things that are immediate within my reality, such as eating and supporting my body with nutrients, this is a responsibility where I have to get food, prepare food and eat the food, I have to spend my time and effort on doing so, and it is immediate and obvious as a point of MY responsibility, no one else is going to feed me for me. Then there is more similar responsibilities, such as cleaning myself, taking care of my “space” where I live in and move within.

Then there is a level or responsibilities that is not about ME, yet it is within my ability to respond, such as when I see dog poo laying on the floor, I can wait for whom ever is “supposed to be responsible to pick it up, as it isn’t my dog, BUT it is within my ability within the moment to respond to what is here, I check within myself within self-honesty, do I have the time right now to do it? Yes I do, or No I do not, then I act on it, because I obviously have the ability to pick up some poo and throw it away, so I respond to it, and another point is, if I go to the toilet and I see we need toilet paper, In that moment I have the ability to respond to fetch more toilet paper, it isn’t about who left it empty, or someone else can do it when they need the toilet, it is points that is not about ME yet my responsibility as it is MY reality/environment, but it is to be self-honest in these moments if one has time and the ability.

For example, if I see someone on the side of the road with a flat tire and I do not have the skills to help a person in such a situation, isn’t then my responsibility to help the person with changing or fixing the entire problem within having a flat tire, BUT it is still within my ability to do something – I can stop and see if the person needs help, if help is coming, I can check if I can be of support to help the person with changing the tyre and in the process learn how to do it, that’s my ABILITY in the moment and thus my response, but IF I do not have TIME to stop and help I must be able to take that into account within self-honesty, but if I have the time or not I MUST assess within real time and not of/as the mind where it is simply a point of justification, as in I do not have the time I want to go home and just be lazy, and take into account the dangers of today, the area, the environment etc. – assess moments within common sense and self-honesty of what is HERE as the physical real time.

These are all easy points, they are responsibilities that show themselves to me – I am self-honest within my ability and thus respond equally, but remember, there is ALWAYS a response ability, if you don’t know how to fly a plane, your responsibility is then to learn how to fly a plane, if that is what YOU want to do or need to do for a certain purpose. It is pointless to jump in the believe that I must be responsible now and just fly this plane; it makes no sense as the ability isn’t here yet, the sensible response it to breathe and be self-honest and start from where you are and walk the process to get to flying a plane.

So I realized that I always have an ability to respond, BUT I must be self-honest within my ability and to respond from that ability and expand my ability more and more and thus increase my response.

BUT, I have now fallen into another dimension of the point of responsibility, I have gotten my two feet on the ground to be honest within my ability to respond to my environment and first of all within myself as who I am, BUT I haven’t considered the point yet of creational responsibility, till now.

Where I start being creative within GIVING myself responsibilities, as I have only lived according to what my environment is giving me, but never me giving myself responsibilities, and this if vital, as it is the point of creation/purpose – where I assess what it is I stand for, which is LIFE, what is it that I want to achieve as LIFE, which is oneness and equality to be realized within all Life and to create a world (heaven on earth) where this equality and oneness is implemented and lived, so NOW within my current abilities, where can I within self-honesty RESPOND and take responsibility for what is here and start giving myself direction and purpose till it is done.

I will in more blogs later on write on how this process in real time is taking grip as I learn to give myself responsibilities and developing myself to take on more and more till I stand as Life as responsible, able to respond to LIFE one and equal, an it is most important to be okay with my current abilities and my response as I trust and know the more I take responsibility and develop my abilities and my responses I will grow, I will expand and thus I trust the process as long as I keep walking and applying and living an BREATH.