I am NOT IMPORTANT - Day 655

I am NOT important

To think you are important can be the biggest thing that holds you back from living your fullest potential.

Here is my self-forgiveness on this topic of thinking I am important. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK that I am important. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the idea as a thought within my mind that I am important.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to look at why and what I believe of myself to be important and where these believes come from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk and talk as if I am important and thus more than others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to be important gives me value as a being, and so I value everything of everyone else except that of myself as principle as who I am and thus stand by as life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am important t than I am destined of r great things that is better than other people’s destinies, thus not seeing and realizing that within this I will do and act in ways that PUSH others down just so that I can be important. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEEL and believe that IF I am not important in the eyes of others then I will have no value and meaning as a being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to WANT to be important as to be seen as MORE than others as to not have to live in FEAR f others as I believe that the idea of being important from others naturally takes away my own fears and insecurities of myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR not being important and thus irrelevant and useless to others and so myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be raised without question by my parents that I am important/special and so more than other people, where this was told to me as an insecurity from my parents of believes they already had of me as NOT being capable, as not surviving in this world and so I had to have an idea of myself as being MORE and so being important, yet accepting and allowing through this within me the polarity of intense fear of not being important and thus NOT surviving/living in this world and failing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed within myself the FEAR of that if I am not important then I do not exist and may as well then self-destruct and abuse, and so using the IDEA of I am important as a way to “motivate” myself to be better, to be more than what I believe of myself, SEEING and realizing that this is  a band aid that can be harshly ripped off if I suddenly do not feel important and go into all the point that I believe if myself negatively as the polarity playouts. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how I LOOK makes me important and even so more important than others and how they look like in comparison. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE my life story and what I have gone through and lived as SO fucking important and thus MORE than others that I hold onto this false Idea of what my life means, what it should mean, what it is going to mean, and in the meantime glorifying my own story and making it so important that I am bound to not be important as I disregard all other stories as equally important just to keep myself important to have value and meaning, even going to the lengths of making my story more than what it is just to get that attention of look how important I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within self-interest to the degree of selling myself out completely to FEAR just to be important and so give up my living, my expression and my natural breathing in the fear of it not being important enough and losing within this life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize how the idea of me being so fucking important has crippled me from actually being important to myself in a way that matters to me and to all life equally as who I am and standing as, where there is no fear and only self-honesty. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I believe that I a important with a special mission this life, I will always fail as the importance and specialness does not and never will match reality and only creates FEAR of failure and so losing importance and thus never actually being able to take the steps that is needed for change, but rather holding on to a fake state of importance and security as EGO/Illusion. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that as long as I trap myself within the idea/opinion and vision of myself as being important, or someone that will be important, that I trap myself in absolute anxiety and fear of LIVING as everything I do and say and live can always possibly be a failure and that an act of simply not existing or deserving to exist as a mind fuck. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I am No ONE then I have NOTHING to lose, to fear to be anxious about, and ONLY everything to GIVE as who I am standing within my principle as what is best for all LIFE. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others within living in a state of self-importance as an imposed state of being within this reality onto others and so suffocating other people through my own self-importance. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself through living in an illusionary world of my ego as a believer of myself that I am somehow magically important, and thus more than others, where I destroy what is REAL for that which does not exist. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I speak/talk to other people to always have this stance within me of that I am the important person within the conversation and not the other person and so within this Gain nothing and Give nothing except keeping myself trapped in a bubble of illusion. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it HARD within myself to see myself as in fact equal to another human being/life, where I have accepted and allowed the judgment as back chat to exist within me of “ I am doing something different than the other person, I am doing things different,  am different, and this other person is just a normal person” and so I use this as I am more and important and this other normal person isn’t because they are normal, and so disconnect myself from reality here completely and distance myself from actually walking my process as myself real time with the other being and including them in my “different” and vice versa to come to a reality of what s best for all in fact. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE as little as possible through holding onto the idea/believe that I am important and so have to do less and give less. Thus seeing and realizing that I must be NOTHING and so I have everything to give as I have NOTHING to lose, as they believe and idea of I am important ONLY creates a fear of consistent loss on a physical and emotional level as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be as my value, and so my value is everything except one and equal as LIFE.

I fear that when I have nothing to lose, then there is nothing that can stop me from living fully as life (not the idea of life FYI) being careful here of ego again. 

I fear nothing when I have nothing to lose, and what I fear the most to lose is the idea of myself, the believe and these ideas and believes is what I value myself as through others, when my value is that of LIFE one and equal and walking in principle as who I am, then there is nothing to lose and only everything to give.

Day 561 – Believe in yourself, You are LIFE

Take a look at yourself, you are a tiny mind existing in a universe, you are a tiny mind only because you decide to exist within and as this mind, this mind consciousness system that functions on energy, this mind consciousness system that fucks you over every day in every moment, it cons you into limitation, it cons you into submission, it cons you into fear, it cons you into everything except for you to realize that you are LIFE.

Remove this tiny mind, this consciousness, and you are in fact LIFE, I myself have not lived this into actual fact, I have only realized this. Take a look at LIFE, all that is HERE one and equal, just look with your limited eyes, hear with your limited ears, feel with your limited touch, and already just with that you can see how great LIFE is, Life is here, always, we just refuse to stand with life absolutely, we refuse to trust that WE as life wants what is best for all life, like a mother that wants only the best for her child, we must also realize that LIFE is that which is not of the mind consciousness – anything that isn’t rooted within the seed of LIFE as what is best for all life, is of the mind and thus we must not confuse trusting life with what we see around us as being a creation of LIFE, what is around us as our creation is us forgetting that we are life and attempting to live in separation of life, which is failing drastically as our mind consciousness established world is showing us, it is crumbling down and the suffering and discord is beyond measures. Because it is not of LIFE.

We rather stand by the mind, we rather trust the mind, and we would rather look at the mind for security and for survival, not realizing that if we stand as LIFE, then the universe will in fact stand for us, with us, would you rather have the support of a thought? Or would you rather have the support of LIFE as the entire universe moving with and as you one and equal to bring about your purpose that is one and equal as life, to bring about life that is best for all life in all ways, and of course LIFE will stand with you. It is a matter of placing your trust in yourself as LIFE that is always HERE accessible in a single breath in each and every breath. But we lose each and every breath; we can’t even stand in a single breath as LIFE in full trust of life. Because we just do not believe in ourselves.

So I must forgive myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself as LIFE, thus not believing in LIFE itself and that life in itself wants what is best for all life, and to within this trust and believe the mind as consciousness, where I rather attempt to control reality according to momentary thoughts to direct me and to lead me and to decide for me what I must do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is for LIFE and thus my misplacement of trust within and as the mind is that of not understanding that LIFE is here one and equal standing for and as life in all ways and if I only place my trust with life as me then I can truly stand with the support of ALL life to bring about a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse the creations of the mind with LIFE and to within this confused create the believe that LIFE is against me, seeing and realizing that it is and was and has always only been the mind that is against me, the very thing I placed trust within, and to never even consider that fact that LIFE is HERE awaiting me to return to myself as LIFE and to trust myself as LIFE and to instead stand with LIFE and thus have the full support of LIFE or the universe to move with me to bring change to this world as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider that LIFE can stand with me, but only is I stand with LIFE and give LIFE a chance and to within that Believe in myself, and to stop the believe I have given to the mind, to the world and the systems that are here as the CON of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I can only stand with LIFE absolutely if I stand within myself as ALL life in fact as what is best for all life, and all life as me will only move and support and assist me is I in fact stand in oneness and equality as all life and to not confuse this with The law of attraction, as it isn’t a law of attraction hut merely a law of LIFE, a law that is best for all life and not for individual fain and self-interest such as the mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone in this world, that I have no support and that I have nothing that stands with me, and to within this fall for the mind and placing trust in the mind, totally disregarding myself as ALL life that is here as the universe as who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that LIFE is here, and as long as I am not here I cannot stand with LIFE, but that I am only standing with and as the mind as consciousness that is a human creation of limitation, in the act of spiting life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never even consider Believing in myself instead of the mind is me believing in life, where this believe isn’t based on energy or abdicating self-responsibility, but actually in reverse, to truly believe in myself I believe in LIFE and this is done through breathe, to live this believe that it still is into a living fact, truth of self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give LIFE a chance, thus not giving myself a chance by placing my full trust in breath, and to within this breath walk as LIFE in all ways accumulating and creating within this world as the manifestation of the mind consciousness system LIFE as me as myself within my words and deeds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency on the mind even when LIFE is showing me in each and every breath that my real actual support is of LIFE, thus in each and every moment that I am b=in breathe HERE I am actually saying fuck you to life.

Day 539 - opening up points of fear and regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR letting go of the fears within me that I have used to define me and to thus guide me and control me and keeping me enslaved to patterns and behaviors that I believe is best for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of not having money and security within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of being all alone in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others think of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others might do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what this money driven system can do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being harmed by other humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of not having a roof over my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of living the same way as billions of others do in this world, in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of losing what I hold dear through changing or through circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my time and the time that I have within this world and not using it to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of doing something wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of failing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being seen and actually being different from society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself and what that might mean, which is unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be trapped in this world system and not be able to change a thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the world coming to an end as an actual desire that I had as a kid, just ending everything, and now seeing this desire was actually a denial of a fear within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear JUST doing what I see I need to do in moments and to push myself beyond my fear in any moment to do what is required to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things out of fear and to within this do things out of fear anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fears and deny my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this reality and the cruelty that exist within it, from the system to the human that created it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually take that step to truly change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what that actual first step is to actually change and to take a stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself to the service of life absolutely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if the world/my life changes that I will face myself as who I am and what I could have done to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that at the end of my life that I will face myself as regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me facing my self-dishonesty at death as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and live as, as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as consequences that isn’t best for all life and that knowing that who I am currently isn’t yet standing as LIFE and thus I know where I must move my ass.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already live in regret and to fear that because of this regret I will not be able to ever actually change anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my past as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to define myself as and to within this fear that I will just die as a past and not as LIFE that is standing in absolute self-honesty and that I everything in my power to change this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking crazy within me expressing myself to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying and speaking the common sense and the self-honesty that is required to be spoken to penetrate this reality and to bring change, starting with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will never get rid of my past as a current definition of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the truth about me into the core of who I am and to stand up from that and to see what is HERE for real as LIFE, where nothing is painted in thoughts/emotions/feelings to be something else, and to fear what I might see as OUR creation that is here of abuse and absolute dishonor to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the dishonor that I have existed as and still do to some extent towards LIFE.

Day 262 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 10

Day 262 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 10

“Every day I assume a Character that I expect everyone wants to see of me, I assume that this is the only character that is acceptable by everyone around me”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume a character everyday out of the believe that I have to or I will Die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that I have to assume a character everyday just to get around and survive the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Assume any and all characters necessary to survive the day, even if it means losing myself and my integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself To believe that I need to assume a character in order to live Life, not seeing and realizing that I can live Life anyway without characters/masks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o go into characters that I created deliberately as a response to what I fear in live to hide the fear or to attempt to avoid the fear, never facing my fear within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create characters that I believe others want to see me as everyday that I play and pretend to be just to not to have to face points I fear from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself into believing that the characters/masks I wear play every day is for others, seeing and realizing that I put them on for myself to hide my insecurities/fears/judgments and everything about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear NOT going into character and playing the roles with the masks as I fear what might or might not happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what Might or might not happen when and as I do or do not play the characters I have made myself believe that others want to see me as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live my Life according to what I fear or do not fear and to within this create characters/masks that I enslave myself to as a personality that is addicted to energy as thoughts/feelings/emotions to move and direct me and my life accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have enslaved myself to the characters that I play every day as a personality suite that I wear as the WHO I AM everyday around people or even alone just to be save and to preserve my own self interest of fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Who I Am as my personality that consists of many characters I play s a creation of and as fear and thue when and as I accept and allow myself to defend and define myself according to who I am currently that I am actually saying I am FEAR.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in dishonesty towards myself as who I believe I have to be as the characters I play every day in front of everyone and or in different situations as I believe that it is what keeps me save and protected and that it is the only way, not seeing and realizing that I am actually just locking/enslaving myself to and as Fear as the mind as the thoughts/feelings/emotions I have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can not change who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i must play the roles that I have played for so long everyday even if it compromises me and my world and everyone within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I can create who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating myself and to believe that it is wrong to change myself in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing myself in the believe that the changes I have to make will weaken me and make my stand within this world weaker and that I will not be able to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing who I am to that which is best for all in always in absolute certainty as myself within the fear that I might lose my ability to survive within this world, not seeing and realize than my change then is not what is best for all life but just a compromise and thus I am not yet self honest with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and live as survival within all and any character I play and that all of Who I Am currently as my personality no matter how positive or negative it is, is all in the name of survival and fear.

To be Continued.

Day 261 – The Pattern of Who I Am Part 9

Continuing from Part 1 till here and more.

Taking the Parts from Part 1 to 3 and applying Self Forgiveness on them one at a time, each point.

Today’s Point: “see how I have used the back chat within my mind as a way to reason and make it all seem so True and real and that it is so tempting to just use that as a weapon to burst out at someone when they ask me to do something for them, so that they can feel bad and shit”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate/use back chat within my mind in secret to reason with myself as a way to create reason/opinions that I can use towards/against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a evil professor sitting in the back of my head talking to myself and making options and poisons up inside my head as the backchat and the gossip and the thinking as weapons to attack and harm and WIN against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the secret mind as back chat where I sit in the dark in my head by myself talking to myself and having conversations with myself where I actually argue and reason with myself and even play scenarios where I win against myself as a way to test my secret weapons I am creating with the words I use and place as a way to win even if it means I have to use nuclear words against others as any means to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I participate within back chat and gossip within my mind where I am all by myself that I am actually having no cross-reference at all what so ever and that such bullshit can never be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I reason with myself within my mind where I pretend in my mind that it is actually reasoning, LOL seeing and realizing that it is just me fucking with myself as reasoning requires two people talking for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that any kind/type of reason I come to within my mind is actually valid, as the reason I create within my mind with myself cannot be reasoning as it was created from me talking to myself??? Mental problem it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the difference between any “normal” person and a mentally ill person is that the mentally ill person simply say what’s in their head out loud and thus they are actually more honest then any normal person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can reason and create reasoning skills and create “new” reasoning skills within my mind talking to myself in secret where I will play out scenarios where I always win arguments and fights and so forth as a way to prepare myself for the real thing, not seeing and realizing that this is always in my disadvantage as it always gives me a false everything of reality as it was/is constructed within a alternate reality that is of energy and fuzzy logic and not the facts in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accept and allowed myself to have back chat when and as someone asks me to do something for them and to within this back chat always first defend my limitations and to then quickly look for ways to fight with my words to Win even if it means I limit myself and enslave myself to the limitations of the minds reasoning of weird logic based on self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react when someone asks me to do something for them to Immediately create of bring up the “reasoning” I prepared within my mind as a weapon to attack someone that I deliberately tested and tried within my mind to see if it will hurt the other person or make them feel shit/bad and like crap for asking just to feel that I have a sense of power back where I am not a slave that simply do what I am asked and to feel that I have no authority to decide if I will do what I am asked or not, not seeing and realizing that I am abusing other people and myself and that in fact all that is required of me in situations such as this is for me to breathe and to consider what is here in and as the physical and make a decision of yes or no accordingly and do it or not or arrange other time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the evil within me that I have created myself as when and as I sit by myself back-chatting gossiping by myself where I deliberately test and try out reasoning skills towards/about/against another being to deliberately with the intention to harm them when and as I use the reasoning I create within my mind just to win or have some sick self interest feeling/emotion to be fulfilled as energy rush of winning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately want to make others feel shit/bad just for asking me a simple things such as doing something for them just because I have some personal issues I have to sort out within myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be bad to create myself as, as it all exist within me all the time and thus I am always responsible and cannot take it out on others or myself but that I must forgive myself and see what I am doing in the moment and to breathe and to then take a deep breath and decide based on the principal of what is best for all in all ways.

To be continued

Day 260 – The Pattern Of Who I Am Every Day Part 8

I have in my Mind only defended and fought for my own limitations just for the sake of proving my Fear was right?? What’s that all about??

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear within me that I might be asked to do something for someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear within me that I might be misused or abused by others for my abilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my abilities special and unique within my mind, seeing and realizing that as I have made my abilities special I fear that others will abuse it and use it only because they can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that when and as I have abilities that I can apply where others cannot and that when they ask me for help to feel like I am being abused and used, not seeing and realizing the fact as the physical that I am capable and able to do certain things others can yet what they need to get done still remains and that it is my responsibility as the one with the abilities to help them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this fear of maybe they will/are abusing me for what I can do just so that they do not have to train and learn how to do the things by themselves as I did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the back chat of “ if I could do it with hard work and training so can they” to exist within me, not seeing and realizing that everyone had different physical bodies that is specific and also a result of genetics that they cannot always help for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others when they ask me to do something for them within the fear of that they might now just be taking advantage, seeing and realizing that I am the only one not taking advantage of myself to test and upgrade my abilities in that moment to push myself beyond my own limitations of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I fear others will take advantage/abuse my abilities because I fear pushing myself and getting out of my comfort zone within my mind where I have this abilities but never use them to bring myself to my full potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I only fear myself and that I might abuse myself when and as I use my abilities to their fullest as I know myself and that I can never stop even when it is required as my ego kicks in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself as my abilities through only wanting to limit them within not applying myself as my abilities equally for all when and where it is possible and to only remain a slave to my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that it is abusing myself when and as I am not using my abilities that others do not equally have as the physical points through trying and attempting to hold myself/abilities from others as a way of spite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful towards others when and as they ask me for help through reacting and wanting to make myself un available to them as to achieve a goal where I can say look what I have and you can’t have it just to feel more special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my behavior as the result of my back-cat and inner gossip is a result of me attempting to be spiteful which is always self abusing within holding myself back and limiting myself and remaining a slave to energy as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it makes me powerful and strong to have abilities others need/want and that I can withhold it from them if I feel like it, not seeing and realizing that what I do onto another is what I want to be done onto me will be in play at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I live in fear of others asking me to do something for them as I have already judged that others will not do anything for me within my mind through gossip and back chat from once upon a time in the past where it was done so onto me and now I place this judgment onto all.

To be continued.

Day 259 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 7

Here I continue with the last Blogs I stopped at just before the power went off here for three days and two nights – thanks for understanding if you are a reader of this blog.

Last time I was doing Self forgiveness on the points I discussed in Part 1 and Part two.
“I believe that in my mind I can prepare myself to face this fear.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that I can prepare myself within my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions to Face my Fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that it is within the Mind that I create Fear in the first place, as I always take things from reality as the physical and place it into a energy experience through the mind through how I perceive/judge reality which then turns into a reaction and fear as the mind tends to always make something more then what it is in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a fear and that I am trying/attempting to “prepare” myself to face this fear that I am actually just keeping the fear alive within me as I am giving it recognition and validation as if it requires special attention and thus it must be real, making it real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have fear within me towards/about others/things that it is always about me as it is only within me and not about the others/things as I am the one creating the fear within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear within me towards about others/things through the back chat and judgments and gossip I have with myself in my own mind where I generate energy which usually ends up as fear as it is dishonest because I know I am doing it all in secret in the dark and that what goes on in my mind I do not dare expose or live because I know it is all lies and only abusive in its nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest with myself about the fears I have through believing that it is created within me through what others do and say and think when and as I can see that I am the one with the fear and that when and as I participate within secret as back-chat and gossip in my mind that I am creating the fears and the energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the fear that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make others responsible for the fear that I have within me, seeing and realizing that I fear admitting that I am the one that created the fear and that I can thus stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to take responsibility for my fears as the creator of my fears, seeing and realizing that I have created the fears as a way to not to have to take responsibility for myself as Who I Am within and as myself and what I accept and allow within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fears within me as a way to excuse myself from having to take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fears within me as a way to justify and reason my way out of having to take self responsibility for myself and this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest with myself about my fears and why I have created them and that I have created them myself through participating within the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions and as all the Back-chat and gossip I do in secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that all fear is from existing within self interest and the believe/idea that I am separate from everything else.

To be continued.

Day 257 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 6

Day 257 – The Pattern of Who I Am Every Day Part 6

I see within this one point that I do it again out of fear, I have back chat and gossip and thoughts in my mind about other people because I fear something and within my mind I believe I am building a case to defend myself, I believe that in my mind I am setting things right, I believe that in my mind I can prepare myself to face this fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the gossip/back-chat within my mind that I create and participate within is from fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I fear others gossiping about me, so I gossip about them first to make myself feel better just in case they are gossiping about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what I fear others gossiping about me is my own insecurities and self-judgments that I have about myself that I project onto others as if they are talking about the judgments and fears I have of myself and so within this fear I start to gossip about others within my mind to make myself feel better and to prepare myself just for incase the gossip is real and I need something to defend myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about others/things within my mind without seeing and realizing that simple truth that it is me that is gossiping and judging and having back chat about myself first that I then create into insecurities and fears that I now project onto others as gossiping about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I gossip about others within my mind within secret that the gossip coming out within me about others is actually the things I fear others might be gossiping about me and so I start this game of gossiping to see who wins and who loses as the best gossipers in secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have back-chat within me that it is within me and thus it is always about me and that I am attempting to separate it from and as me through projecting the back-chat onto and towards others within me mind in secret just to create a energy experience that can make me feel better about myself though making shit up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when and as I gossip/back-chat within me mind that I am setting things straight within me as that which I always believe to be the convenient truth where I always win and seem so good and right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am always deceiving myself within my mind through participating within secret as gossip/back-chat about myself/others/things as it is always based on assumption and my own limited interpretation of the physical reality and what i observe within the frame of my limited knowledge and information about things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am always deceiving only myself through participating within the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions that is always in my self interest and thus can never make a real valid calculation of reality as it is always based on me and only me winning and not having to feel bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I participate within my mind as gossip/back-chat and having thoughts about others that it is from fear and nothing else and that I am always trying to built cases within my mind towards LIFE and all that is here to defend only myself interest which in itself is utterly stupid and limited as it is never real or truth, it is simply made up crap in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that anything going on in my head is real or valid, when I do not even know how the mind in fact works or how energy and resonances work or how the Quantum Mind works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anything I make up or believe to be real within my mind, seeing and realizing that I will always make anything in my mind only in my favor and that it is obvious that if everything must always be in my favor that it cannot be trusted. Its a obvious sign of malfunctioning and thus must not be used as it will only been abused.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have gossip/back-chat about others that it is always to bring them down and make them less and to be nasty and judgmental and spiteful and simply put evil and that within this I can see that it is obvious that I do this in defense of something I fear of myself and am trying to hide of myself as I am clearly attempting to avoid looking at myself and am only trying to place myself in the good light so no one can see me and only focus on others and that this is always only me defending my own fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that in my mind I am always defending fear no matter how good or evil things are in my head.

To be Continued