Day 549 – Mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the Mother construct within me as me being a child that belongs to another person, seeing and realizing that this mother construct within me and wanting to hold onto the idea that I belong to another person is keeping me form being my own person. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mother is more special than any other mothers in this world, and thus within this believe praise my mother and make me “special” and more than other children, creating and continuing the inequality within this world as ego and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the mother construct within me as I fear that I will lose something of myself, seeing and realizing that I cannot possibly lose my mother unless I have self-interest points invested within her that only serves me and my will as the ego.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the love a mother and a child proclaim for one another ha got nothing to do with one another within this world as it is purely self-interest driven for survival and money in a world where fear drives everything, and as one can see within placing oneself within a perfect world where all is equally taken care of and has a guaranteed life of dignity on this planet that mothers and fathers and children will suddenly have no worries of fears of letting go of each other and living their own lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within making myself believe that a mothers love for a child has to be an emotional one, where the mother and child can manipulate each other and make sure each one is surviving in this world by leaching off one another, through using a secret system of debt, where the mother gave everything and now later on the child owns the mother everything, seeing and realizing that such emotional relationships is a disease of the current world system that forces people to be leaches for the sake of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive my mother in her innocence in the sense that this world makes no sense and to within such a world create relationships of nonsense that isn’t best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to take on and stand within this world that I require to keep such relationships on the emotional level with my parents for the sake of a safety net, seeing and realizing that keeping such a safety net is simply holding me back as there is a back door, knowing that if I keep an emotional relationship with my mother that she will still benefit from me as being her son as I am feeding her some sort of energy and thus she will at any time catch me when I fall, thus already creating the fall, yet seeing and realizing that a clear physical communication relationship within common sense can be established and kept, as such a relationship will be equal and one to all other relationships that is best for all life, and to stop the mind games once and for all and for each one to face themselves sooner than later till it is too late and we have sucked the life out of life and no one stood up for life as reality was/is still being kept in a veil for survival.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the facts/truth of what is here, we all die and after death no one is someone’s family or friends and that we are all one and equal and thus must already be walked this life and to not have to face the shame and regret in the afterlife for only protecting and keeping save one’s own “blood” and disregarding all other life as your entire family, on your home planet called earth, just for some emotional relationships that is kept in place for self-interest and to survive till death.