Day 355 - Self-Hatred and writing Part 1
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
Judge myself for how I write before and while I write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
Judge myself as being pathetic for how I place my sentences and words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge myself as worthless for how I write and place my sentences and the
vocabulary I use and the spelling mistakes I make.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be harsh on myself for how I write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
Not see and realize that the problem I am facing within writing is also my
solution, seeing and realizing that as I have the problem of how I write and
the vocabulary I use and the spelling mistakes I make is only revealing to me
what I must focus on to change instead of Judging myself, seeing and realizing
that as I keep on judging myself and creating self-hatred within my
self-judgments towards myself, That I am
within that always rushing my writing to avoid having to face my writing
as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
avoid the blatant obvious truth of my writing, that my writing is in fact
reflecting and showing me to myself in actual detail.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
Not see that when and as I write that I am rushing myself, thus I am unable to
focus and to be specific within my writing within my vocabulary and within my sequencing
and words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see and realize that when and as I rush my writing that I am attempting to
keep up with the mind, instead of breathing and slowing down and remaining
within what is here and to write what is here as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see that when and as I am writing and rushing and making all the mistakes
and never getting to correct myself within the space and time that is here that
the problems will always remain and be the same.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see that how I write is a reflection of how I live and that is a reflection
of who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see that when and as I write fast and in a attempt to grab all the
information at once that I will make lots of spelling mistakes and that I will
lose focus and the sequence and that I will live this in everything I do within
my life, as I am creating myself daily within writing and thus what I write and
how I write is who I am creating myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see that the point of self-hatred is created by self, trough repeated
mistakes and accumulated energies that I do not correct or stop to take real self-responsibility
for, through taking the actual actions to correction and eventually self-perfection.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not breathe effectively when and as I am writing to be aware of each word and
how I type each word and how I place each word as myself.
To be continued.
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