Day 4 - Self -judgements and consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of how truly fucked we are as a specie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the fact that unless each and every human beings understands the mind and how it functions in detail and how the human is a personality as the ego designed to be organic robots/slaves, will we not be able to change ourselves first and foremost and thus not this world, and thus through losing sight I let loose a little bit and eventually take it way too easy with pushing and thus fall into hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the extent of the problem that is here, and more so to lose sight of the educational process that is required to actually have a revolution to real evolution as the human species and thus to have a global change as the human changes,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back MY process and sharing my process continuously OPENLY as part of the educational process that is here through blogs, vlogs and general sharing, as I JUDGE my own process as not good enough, as not relevant, as not having any effect, yet within that I am in fact living those judgements and thus making believes real and so cripple my own self change and everyone else in this wold that could have benefited but now aren't due to me not sharing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead share BULLSHIT of other people sharing apparent relevant shit yet does not even touch the point of self-honesty of even a glimpse of what the mind truly is, and so withhold myself and my own process that actually covers all the dimensions that is required within the education revolution that is required for a truly evolved human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that laziness as NOT feeling like doing something, such as writing, sharing and actually caring is a mind consciousness system design that has POWER over me as energy of the mind generated through constant thoughts that I have of myself judging myself negatively to such an extent that this energy forms layers within me undirected, not forgiven and thus it starts flooding the PHYSICAL as the flesh and stores itself within the body, and so the body starts experiencing itself as heavy and thus lazy, and so over time I am not to be found anywhere and can barely find the will power within me to even move myself as the energy as the mind consciousness system has not completely vegetated me as the body to have the body ONLY for itself to entertain itself and to keep generating energy and feed of the physical/flesh till death.

I commit myself to when and as I FEEL lazy, to REMEMBER that it isn't whatever excuse I am making up in my mind, as that is the minds defence mechanism to control ME as self-movement and to free myself, and thus I can take full self-responsibility within understanding that I created the laziness through accepting and allowing the mind games/energies as the thoughts I participated within over and over to take hold of me as the body/physical and to place me in a prison of consequence that I must then physically MOVE myself and to actually physically correct myself no matter how lazy I feel or what the thoughts are of why I should not, as this is self-movement and me taking a Stand and saying no more, and to write, share and actually change.

My Desteni Process – Thoughts aren’t natural

Thoughts aren’t natural, this can be something difficult to grasp, but it isn’t really that farfetched when we take a closer look at what thoughts are and what their actual impact are on the physical.

Like when we burn coal to generate energy, thoughts are similar, when we think or go into thought, we are in fact taking something real of the physical and we are burning it, using the resources to generate energy to run certain systems, may it be a T.V or a radio, or a fridge, some are practical, but for most of the things it is for pure entertainment or indulgence. The earth is suffering for this, for example, the same is happening within us, with thoughts and thinking. We are burning energy to entertain a world/reality in our mind that literally does not exist, these thoughts have further outflows of energy use, we then (after the thoughts/thinking) usually experience feelings and emotions, have a certain experience within us, which then requires even more resources to burn to generate the energy and thus to keep the emotions and feeling stimulated, thus we will have a never ending cycle of thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions, all generating energy through burning resources. The resources the thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are burning are our flesh. 

Now, we have a lot of indicators that show us how unnatural thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are, such as headaches, sometimes very specific headaches to show us what thinking we are participating within if we understand the points the body is indicating to us. Then we have even more indicators, such as our illnesses, diseases, and mental addictions. We have even more evidence on a global scale, which is the global state, the state in which the world is. The state in which the world is a direct result of thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions, and it is pretty fucked up. I mean, wow, we have been and only been using thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions throughout history to direct us to give us guidance, to give us purpose, and here we are, just take a look what exist for BILLIONS of beings, I mean the human LIVING, and how we live on this planet goes against ANYTHING natural on/of this planet. Do you still think thinking/thoughts feelings and emotions are natural? Then ask yourself this, why aren’t you living with nature, in nature, why do you not know anything about nature? Why is the nature of the human destroying nature? What is the thing we have apparently that makes us better? A mind which thinks and has thoughts and that generates feelings and emotions – I mean if we were really intelligent then we should have noticed this a long time ago, the mind as thinking as thoughts feelings and emotions aren’t natural as it literally directs us to do everything that is unnatural and destroys the natural world.

Now, I have had a personal experience a couple of years ago as I was walking my daily self-forgiveness where I one day did so much self-forgiveness on the re-occurring patterns I was living as depression, being gloomy and doomy and always carrying burdens with me, I did some intense self-forgiveness on the specific points, the beliefs and ideas and opinions I had within myself. On that particular day I decided enough, this has to stop and I meant it within myself that it is time for a change. The following day I woke up with a BASHING headache, it was intense, this headache was in the front of my head, it was pounding and heavy, every time I would move my head it felt like my brain was hitting my skull on the inside, I tried to think about a headache and what it could be, but as soon as I started thinking, my head hurt even more, so all I could do was sit down and breathe.

I sat down and breathed for a couple of minutes while focussing inside myself and NOT thinking, then a thought popped up in my head about what I need to still do today, this thought immediately activated another headache, which was located in my temples area on my head, as this thought was presenting a belief I had about what I still had to do today and how I am going to experience myself all day, so now my head was in serious trouble. I at and breathed a lot more, for about another ten minutes, my headaches started going away, it calmed down as I was calm and breathing within me, there were no thoughts, no feelings or emotions within me after about 15min, and the headaches were almost gone, I could easily stand up and continue with my day, but 15 seconds later I had a thought and BAM!!! A headache was back, but this time it was located at the back of my head, it felt like a pounding headache, and my temples were also heavy, this was really fascinating shit, and this continued for TWO WEEKS – I could not participate in thoughts, thinking or feelings or emotions. 

As soon as I did I had immediate headaches and pain, each time in specific areas of my head depending on what thought, what thinking I was activating and going into, and the only way to stop a headache was to stop the thoughts/thinking and thus the feelings and emotions.  

These two weeks were the best days of my process and walking myself into correction as I was unable to go into thoughts/thinking I had NO choice but to simply live direct, to act and to D, to not think or ponder or to go into thoughts, I had to live HERE in the physical, I broke and changed every single habit and pattern I was in as if it was nothing due to not having a choice because I could NOT think or go into thoughts and thus NOT go into any experiences, and thus no experience could decide for me what I must or must not do, I could be here and act, and in fact each time I acted the headaches got lighter and went away, it was like I had a compass of correction within me to be physical. After two weeks I got out of the patterns and habits that kept me in this dark place for a couple of months and I was amazed how thinking/thoughts could cause so much pain on the physical – I had the opportunity for two weeks to experience the pain thoughts/thinking causes the body and I now know that even when I am not aware, each and every thought/thinking feeling and emotion impacts the body and has great consequences on the physical body and my LIFE and thus everyone else’s LIFE.

I mean, imagine how and what we are doing to the earth, do we think we are NOT harming the earth or causing pain to create and generate energy? How to use that energy and for what? It all matters and as we know, as within so without. Thus we can see outside of ourselves as a mirror reflection what exist within us and it isn’t pretty at all…

Investigate Desteni, start your writing process of self-forgiveness, stop your thoughts feelings and emotions and start LIVING.

Day 549 – Mother

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the Mother construct within me as me being a child that belongs to another person, seeing and realizing that this mother construct within me and wanting to hold onto the idea that I belong to another person is keeping me form being my own person. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mother is more special than any other mothers in this world, and thus within this believe praise my mother and make me “special” and more than other children, creating and continuing the inequality within this world as ego and self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the mother construct within me as I fear that I will lose something of myself, seeing and realizing that I cannot possibly lose my mother unless I have self-interest points invested within her that only serves me and my will as the ego.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the love a mother and a child proclaim for one another ha got nothing to do with one another within this world as it is purely self-interest driven for survival and money in a world where fear drives everything, and as one can see within placing oneself within a perfect world where all is equally taken care of and has a guaranteed life of dignity on this planet that mothers and fathers and children will suddenly have no worries of fears of letting go of each other and living their own lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within making myself believe that a mothers love for a child has to be an emotional one, where the mother and child can manipulate each other and make sure each one is surviving in this world by leaching off one another, through using a secret system of debt, where the mother gave everything and now later on the child owns the mother everything, seeing and realizing that such emotional relationships is a disease of the current world system that forces people to be leaches for the sake of survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive my mother in her innocence in the sense that this world makes no sense and to within such a world create relationships of nonsense that isn’t best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to take on and stand within this world that I require to keep such relationships on the emotional level with my parents for the sake of a safety net, seeing and realizing that keeping such a safety net is simply holding me back as there is a back door, knowing that if I keep an emotional relationship with my mother that she will still benefit from me as being her son as I am feeding her some sort of energy and thus she will at any time catch me when I fall, thus already creating the fall, yet seeing and realizing that a clear physical communication relationship within common sense can be established and kept, as such a relationship will be equal and one to all other relationships that is best for all life, and to stop the mind games once and for all and for each one to face themselves sooner than later till it is too late and we have sucked the life out of life and no one stood up for life as reality was/is still being kept in a veil for survival.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the facts/truth of what is here, we all die and after death no one is someone’s family or friends and that we are all one and equal and thus must already be walked this life and to not have to face the shame and regret in the afterlife for only protecting and keeping save one’s own “blood” and disregarding all other life as your entire family, on your home planet called earth, just for some emotional relationships that is kept in place for self-interest and to survive till death.

Day 490 - Personality as a point of view

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have through my acceptance and allowances of thought made myself less than my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment I accept or allow a thought to create any form of fear/anxiety/stress or any other movement within me, that I have made myself less than a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself less than a thought through accepting and allowing thoughts to “mean” something within myself as the relationship that I have created within me towards/with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment a thought direct me as the physical being, that I have submitted to thoughts as having power over me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that thought/thoughts are but a point of view/opinion that is “separate from reality and not in fact reality as it is taking place inside MY mind and not real in reality, and thus it isn’t real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that each and every thought I have is MY point of View and not reality in fact, as each and every thought that I have as my point of view exists as me as my acceptance and allowance to sustain a personality, so that I can say I exist as an individual who has MY own point of view of reality, coming from a point of fear of losing my “mental self” as the personality that I have as the thoughts I have as my points of view/opinions that I have – that is deliberately created within conflict to be able to sustain friction that creates Mental energy so that I can keep creating this mental friction just to sustain a limited existence as a mental individual as thoughts – my point of view on reality. Seeing and realizing that there HERE is only one reality and that MY point of view on reality will always differ from ALL other humans as long as I hold on to personality as the mental self, the projected self, not the living self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take “thought” and having thoughts as something to be taken lightly, not seeing and realizing that each and every thought I accept and allow as my point of view on reality, as my mental projection that keeps my mental self as my personality alive, that I am in fact creating a personality of disharmony, of friction, that can never move to a point of living what is best for all LIFE as me, living as what is here in each and every breath as the real physical reality we all share equally, that does not require opinion, of points of views or ideas or personalities to be what it is, what is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my point of view on reality is relevant, that my point of view of what I interpret of reality is important and bring big insights and realization, though having these points of views in my mind as thought, as idea, as opinion that is and will be by its design always be in conflict with all other mental selves as all mental selves require for their own existence to have different points of views on reality to have friction to keep creating mental energy that then can be used by each being to make the statement, I am individual, I am unique, this is my personality, because Look at my point of view on reality with all my believes/Ideas and opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thought is the Veil in front of my physical eyes, that does not allow me to see common sense that is HERE existent as the physical, but rather to only see points of views as my opinions, beliefs, ideas and thus as my “personality”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that common sense only exist within the physical, and not within the mind, as the mind is a mental self, not a physical self, and a mental self can only interpret and project, create illusions and delusions, not see reality and what is here, and thus as long as there is one thought in my mind I am living behind a veil and I will fail as the mind will prevail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train my body to submit to thoughts and the energy that thought as the mind as the mental self uses to numb or to paralyze the body to do as the mind wants for its own limited survival and to train my body to simply give in and trust the mind/thoughts as the minds point of view on reality.

Day 487 - Desteni is the Red pill, not the Blue pill - Matrix

The world is Fucked, plain and simple. The world is fucked because of each and every individual human being that has existed in the past and currently.

We as the Humans can not excuse ourselves form this simple fact. To do so, we will be abdicating our responsibility and thus our power to do anything about fixing this world.

For every child being raped or murdered or that is dying/suffering from starvation or a lack of proper nutrition or shelter (basic needs) and for every animal on land or in the ocean and in the air, for every plant and bug and every single things that has been abused to a level that defy what the apparent human stands for as morality and being humane. It is literally the opposite.

To make it more clear in terms of making sure everyone gets the point that they are in fact responsible for every single thing happening on this planet that is NOT in the best interest of and as LIFE, I will state the following – even if you do nothing every day and do not do any “good” or “bad” you are HERE, and this world is fucked right now. See that equation, it includes everyone as being directly responsible, a baby born into this world right now is born with this responsibility by the mathematical equation of YOU + HERE + what is HERE+ what you are born into+ Oneness = YOU are responsible.

It does not matter if you live a good life and do good all day till you die, this is OUR planet and our consent is given to those doing harm by our actions to do something about it, if you do nothing to change it to what is best for all life, you are giving your mutual consent for the party to abuse as they choose, you are directly responsible for a child molester molesting children that you have no idea of or what they are doing, because the fact is, you are here and it is here happening = you are giving consent by its mere existence and it isn’t changing at all.

Hopefully that short explanation makes things a bit clearer, or can be comprehended, it is quite difficult if a human lives a life of self-interest and in a believe that everything here as LIFE is separate and that what exist has nothing to do with them except what they are experiencing in their personal lives, yes a very limited existence it is indeed. To comprehend such a point of responsibility requires self-transformation internally and then externally as a living example for self-first and then by the law of obviousness others will see and start living the same.

Then the next point comes along – how can any human take on such a responsibility? It must be impossible, I mean an entire planet full of trillions of beings from humans to viruses and I am responsible for how each of these beings lives are on this planet?? You must be crazy.

Well then I must point out the obvious again which obviously isn’t obvious yet, as it wasn’t obvious to me neither in the beginning of this Journey with Detseni and the process and deciding to walk this journey in awareness and to take authority for and of myself and direct myself, as this process is happening of oneness and equality ANYWAY with or without my participation, because LIFE has rules to equalize itself, either through force or we can decide to stand as life and direct it instead in a more pleasant way.

So the not so obvious point to look at how possible it is really for each and every human to take their responsibility in this world and what exist here as our creation through directly creating it or through acceptances and allowances, consciously or unconsciously.

YOUR Body, it has up to sixty trillion cells that makes your body what it is, each cell is alive by itself. Yes you heard me, each cell is their own being, they are the ones responsible for you getting hungry and drinking fluids, as they are asking for it, sure we can give them those things even if they do not ask for it, but they will respond accordingly then.

So next question then, how are you able to live, how is it that your body is able to exist as it does right now with sixty trillion cells that are individual cells all working together, why do some of them not just decide to do their own thing? Does the cells have higher IQ’s them us humans for not doing something so stupid? Yes it sounds stupid and even impossible, my cells deciding on their own to just do what they want, imagine suddenly falling apart as all your cells decide to just go their own way. Free choice sounds pretty stupid in this case, doesn’t it?

So how do our cells do it? What is the secret they are living by and that we aren’t, well first of all, they know and realize and see and understand in fact that they might be individuals and separate forms yet the SAME body, thus without each one doing what they are doing the other will not be able to live an effective life. and if even one cell does not live an effective life then all the other cells will be effected and thus the entire body will be effected, even if the cells on the other side does not feel it, the body which is their form/home is effected and thus they are all effected, and what does the body do when there is a cell that isn’t doing well, the BODY respond asap to correct it and to place it all back in balance, as long as there is balance.

So each Cell is responsible directly for the well-being of the entire body, and for each cell to be responsible for the entire body each cell must be self-responsible, self-responsibility is to know thy self and thus to live in a way that is best for the body/all. How considerate and just look at us all, having bodies moving around functioning.

Now take this simple perfect example as our bodies and compare it to the earth, where the earth is OUR body and we are the cells making up the earth, including every animal and plant and bug and the soil and see how everything is interconnected. Now realize why earth is fucked and how we have come to this point in time of fuckedupness, we do not even exist as ONE body as what we are, never mind being self-responsible, and even less being responsible being for this body/earth.

So we as a PLANET called earth needs to come together and take responsibility, but for that to happen we each have to first take self-responsibility as who we are, and each being/person is LIFE, the entire body, not separate at all, and to do this will take a process, a massive process, the body is autocorrecting itself to find balances, but if the cells that are out of balance do not get corrected soon, then just like a cancer the body cannot correct itself and dies. Sorting the problem out both ways.

And this is where Detseni did the research and created the tools for this correcting to go faster and in a less damaging way, less abusive. To not only speed up the process of healing but to come to a solution to prevent the problem from occurring again. And since Desteni started, many cells has come to equip themselves to correct themselves and to become a correction within the body/planet/Life – it is all free will based, because if cells are forced then change is very unlikely. To change, a person/cell must make the decision yes or no, the blue pill or the red pill as in Matrix. And then the decision must be lived.

But just like in the Matrix the red pill is taken and many want to make that deal with the agents again to go back, to not have to face reality, the truth, but unfortunately once the red pill is taken you cannot deny reality or the truth of what is here, but not realizing that once you have taken the red pill and you see reality, you actually now have authority to do something, to change and to bring change, to become a Neo, and in this situation we require each and every human/cell to become a Neo, we want each and every cell to be its utmost potential to have a LIFE that is worth living, a healthy body has a healthy mind as they say.

No one in the Matrix was any different from Neo, they all just abdicated their potential and placed hope onto someone else, imagine a Zion full of Neos. But the process is a hard one to take and to follow through. Self-responsibility is acquired through self-forgiveness, and self-honesty is developed through self-investigation of writing and writing self-forgiveness, common sense is developed through seeing reality more and more as the layers of the programs and systems are removed – but the starting point of doing any and all of this must be to rebirth self as LIFE as that which is best for all life.