Day 219 – The Mirrors of Competition for Survival of energy and Money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as the body with all its organs and cells and everything the body consists of is the same with the earth as being one body with many different parts, and that to participate within self interest when sharing and living on the exact same body/earth is stupidity and can only lead to destruction and abuse, as I can see that within the body all the cells and the hart and the liver does not compare themselves to each other or compete with each other or judge each other or themselves because if they had to then the body will stop functioning and DIE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that earth is one Body and that all Life on earth of and as the one body is like the cells and organs and everything the human body consists of and that the only way the body can function and LIVE is when all these parts live in oneness and equality with each other and so the same for the earth as the humans and the plants and the animals and the rocks and the ocean and the sky and the clouds an everything here one earth as part of the earth body must function one and equal for the body to continue forth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we as the human race is like cancer in the body here on earth where we group together in cities and from there on consume and destroy everything around the cities till we kill the body/earth as a cancer, and that this is only possible because we are one body as the earth competing with itself and judging itself and comparing itself to itself for the sake of self interest and energy/money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize to group up in groups to survive and feel powerful for the sake of self interest and energy consumption within the world is like the body of the human having cancer where the bodies cells are attacking the own body through grouping together and that this is absolute stupidity and not best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that like my own body I am not just me within and as my body, but that I as my body consist of Billions of other beings each having their own forms and uniqueness with specific tasks that must be applied and functioning together one and equal for my body to be able to be breathing, and so I see this applies exactly the same for earth as being one body and that on earth as a living body – here are billions of different species/beings and natural systems that is supposed t function just like the body one and equal for the body to function, yet this is not lives as we the humans are like cancerous cells that seek self interest and energy that have decided to stop what we do as part of the body for the body to function one and equal with effectiveness and perfection and instead revolted against the body in fear of survival as the current money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how stupid free choice and free will is within this world as a concept people have that they have all the right in the world to have, yet we do not wish for each and every cell in our bodies to have their own free will and choice or we would cease to exist – yet we are willing to apply free will and choice not considering just like our own bodies we will have the exact same effect on the one body called earth we all share – destruction/death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Judging myself in the mirror of myself as good or bad is like a cell in my body judging itself for being bad or good, and to not see and realize that if my cells in my body had to act as I do that my body will not function as I will develop cells that believe they are not good enough or better than other cells and within this develop problems in my body where some cells will fight each other, bully each other and even kill each other such as cancer, and that the same goes for me living on earth and how the consequences will play out in having a world that does not function as the cells/humans are pre occupied with judging themselves instead of Living as the physical as what we are in fact – Humans and not the judgments and this way function as one body that is one and equal in its function and thus perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to compare myself to others is self abuse, using the example of my body I see and realize that if my organs had to compare themselves with each other that I will die, because each organ has its own function and how it look is according to their practical placement and function and that if the hart had to compare itself to the lungs that my hart might start a war with my lungs and die, yet this is not happening and that is why my body is alive and functioning - as the hart and the lungs does not have mind consciousness systems such as I do within my mind. Thus they function as the physical within the principal of what is best for all as the body in all ways and not within self interest. thus I see and realize that is why the world is in war/destruction and chaos because we are one body yet we are fighting ourselves as the same body because of things happening in our minds as self interest and seeking energy to consume to feel things, instead of breathing and living what is best for all life in all ways as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I mirror myself to myself when standing in front of a mirror, that it is NOT the physical body that judges or mirrors itself to itself, it is only the mind that is being mirrored, seeing and realizing that all judgment isn’t real but of the mind, using the practical application of closing my eyes when standing in front of a mirror I see that my body does not judge what is reflected in the mirror as I do not see anything that the mind wants to judge, compare and compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that competition isn’t part of LIFE using the example of my body as a design/creation of Life to see what is here and real, that if my body had to compete with itself, that I will die, if the hart with its own unique function to the body had to compete with the lungs to its own unique function within the body which makes them one and equal within their functionality within what is best for all life as the body, not matter their sizes/shapes/colors they cannot compete or they will fail and the body will stop functioning, seeing and realizing that within the current world we as the human race has been taught to compete and judge and compare as if it is natural, yet not seeing and realizing that what is natural is for all to live equal and one here as our body/earth as how our own bodies function. and to compete will only create disease and destruction and a body that cannot function as one and equal in its functionality to sustain life, as each human forgets it custodianship to its body/earth and instead compete to see who is better or weaker to simply have a energy feeling/emotion to sustain the illusion of the mind that each being of the same body is not of the same body but separate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that how my Human body functions is natural, and that within how my human body functions I can see that the mind isn’t real as the mind isn’t required for the body to be here and functioning, as the mind only create separation as competition/judgments/comparisons and in the end a body that is trying to divide itself and destroy itself for the sake of money/energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question the obvious – why is it that the world is advertising and promoting self judgment/competition/comparison and self interest when it is in fact clear that we are one body.

I commit myself to show that anyone can use their own human physical bodies to see and check for themselves what is natural and what is not within how the body functions, as the body isn’t one unit only alive by itself, but that the body is in fact Billions of tiny beings that live together one and equal within the principal of what is best for all life and not within self interest, so that the body can function and Live, and that this principal that our bodies is existing as right now must be applied as the natural way, as our natural bodies is showing us, here on earth within how we as the humans life, to change our ways practically to life what is best for all life in all ways – to do onto another as we would like to be done onto, no one wishes it upon themselves that their cells have self interests and want to develop personalities with the ideas of free choice and free will and then our bodies suddenly spontaneously com-bust into billions of pieces, yet we are doing this to our body/earth as we are supposed to be like the white Blood cells of earth taking care of our body one and equal.

 

Day 204 – Self judgment and Aggression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that it is necessary for me to judge myself as a way of punishing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self judgment as a way of making myself feel bad about myself so that I can feel good about myself again later.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize than when and as I judge myself for everything I do that I will get frustrated at myself and never change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I judge myself that I am actually ANGRY at myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within judging myself only create anger within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that judging myself does NOT help anything or anyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I judge myself ro anything happening within my world or within me that I am only motivating anger and thus aggression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I judge myself within doing something or learning something new that when I try it again I will try and do everything I can to avoid the self judgment, and when and as I point does not work out I judge myself again and thus built up anger towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that aggression is a byproduct of when I have judged myself within something over a long period of time and the judgment only kept coming and never saw any change – not seeing and realizing that judging myself in the first place is what isn’t allowing any change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that aggression/anger is always towards self and that when and as I want to take the aggression out on someone else that I am blaming them for ME not changing or judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that aggression is when I have JUDGED myself consistently over and over and as I judge myself I only make myself angry at myself within the belief that is justifies why I judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that aggression within me and within my behavior is a manifestation of feeling powerless to change – not seeing and realizing that every time I judge myself I tell myself I can’t change and thus the judgment is the point that creates the illusion that I am powerless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself – not seeing and realizing that self judgment is always brainwashing self and only limiting self to self’s own judgment as if the judgments in my mind about myself is valid and real and must be true lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that all and any self judgment is only the mind limiting the physical from moving and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that aggression/anger towards myself or others is always about myself as it is a experience within me that I created through placing and validating judgments from and as the mind as who I am, when it in fact isn’t who I am as the physical breathing here stable.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself being angry or within an aggressive mood to stop within the realization that somewhere I judged myself that it has come to a point of accumulating on a physical level where I feel powerless to change as I have confirmed within my own self judgment that I can’t change LOL. See and realizing the stupidity of this.

I commit myself to when and as I Judge myself for anything or anyone to stop and realize that I m placing limitation onto myself as knowledge and information that will make me feel like I am un able to change and thus turn into aggression. Seeing and realizing that the key to change is to investigate the judgment and to stop it.

Day 202 - watching a movie and after effects.

Day 202 - watching a movie and after effects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conversations within my mind with myself about a certain scene’s from movies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain myself within my mind through re-enacting scenes from movies after I watched the movie where I would pretend to be a character and how I would have played the role.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I play and re-enact scenes from movies in my mind within my head within conversations with myself that I am actually brainwashing myself and creating a character for myself that only feeds the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I entertain myself within having conversations within my mind about a certain scene from a movie that I have connected something of myself to the story as a character and that I have placed value within such a character and to live this out in the real world, not seeing and realizing that I am mind fucking myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a shit load of noise within my mind when I entertain myself within conversations I have with myself about a certain movie scene where I take the character I “liked” the most and make him even better in my mind – as a way to programmed the characteristics of the fictional character as myself through re-enacting as the character and to take on certain traits, no seeing and realizing that I do not know what other characteristics I am taking on such as a killer, a rapist or a abuser and that one day as I walk in the street and suddenly kill someone I will wonder why I did it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to re-enact as a character from movies certain scenes as a way of programming and brainwashing myself to take on points of and as that character that I have separated myself from as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I play out scenes and characters from movies after watching it within my mind that I must look at why I am doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see a character within a movie that I “like” because the character had confidence or good looks or courage or strength or he is smart, that I am within acting out trying and attempting to brainwash myself to be the same, when in fact I am only re-enforcing myself to be separate of it as I am doing it all in the mind in another reality, not seeing and realizing that if what I see in another character that I like I can simply look at myself physically and where I need correction within myself as who I am one and equal and not within separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my mind within entertaining the characters I see in movies that I like through constantly playing out scenes and to within this distract myself from reality and what is here and lose focus and in the end mind fuck myself when I come back to reality and realize that what I played out in my mind was me attempting to be more than reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to be more then reality through entertaining characters from movies within my mind, and to within this create more and more self judgment of myself as I will always feel less than the pictures and conversations I make up in my mind in reality and feel that I am less then and separate from that.

I commit myself to when and as I am watching a movie to not create connection with the characters within the movies and to instead breathe and stop any and all energy movement not to brainwash myself and mind fuck myself.

I commit myself to when and as I am done watching a movie to sit for a second or two and to take a deep breath and breathe and to not entertain the mind as delusions and creating mind fucks for myself.

I commit myself to when and as I am talking within my mind already and playing out characters and scenes to stop through taking a breather and realizing it is not real and I am fucking with myself and distracting me from reality and what is here.

I commit myself to when and as I am within my mind participating in characters and playing out movie scenes to stop and question what I am doing, and to realize it is mind control and brainwashing happening within me, and to investigate what it is that is happening in me and to stop through writing and applying self forgiveness to stop all separation and judgments.

Day 129 – Living a Commitment Day 1 of 21.

Today was interesting – I actually - during my day focused on breathing as the commitment I made to myself, to stop the mind and birth myself as LIFE.

BUT there were very interesting points that revealed itself more clearly and that I could now see within breathing more effectively.

The first Point that I saw was I had less thoughts and internal Movements as energy as emotions/feelings – so the interesting point(s) I noticed was that there were moments when I completely stopped breathing and went into a immediate State of thoughts (possession) of Fear/anxiety/survival.

This was triggered in specific moments when I was in different areas of my day with different people.

So when I was alone or working on my own, the breathing was stable and I was able to stop any thoughts immediately, as a thought came up I said out loud to myself I commit myself to breathe – and I breathed instead of thinking and participating in the thoughts, I did not suppress it, I made sure I breathed through it.

So I saw that ALL the thoughts I have during my day(s) was/is but distractions of/from the MAIN points that I am actually physically walking and living as the patterns/characters I have become, thus I realized that I over load myself with so many thoughts that I “hide’ the main points such as fear/anxiety/secret-mind that I have manifested as the living me in the flesh, pre-occupying myself to not face these points.

I breathe – I walk – I am committed to this one point till it is done.

Main Point number 1 – this is one of the Characters/patterns that I am living as -- and that I have manifested myself as, as the walking me in my application resonantly and in all behaviours and words.

“The -- I am ALWAYS a bad person Character”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always live and move myself within the behavioural patterns of I am a bad Peron.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I live in a resonantly possessed state of I am a bad person that reflect within all my words/actions and that it shows in everything I do as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being bad compared to being good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have manifested myself as the flesh within the self judgment of always being bad to such an extent that I even belief I do not have the right to stand up for that which is best for all life because apparently I am just too bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resonate with the self judgment as the thoughts I had/have in my mind about myself and to through this create a character within and as the living flesh that lives the words/thoughts that I resonated with in every detail of my life that end up as consequences such as always not pushing though points or not to commit to something because I have already judged myself as being bad and thus already failed within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and to define myself according to past/memories where I did not finish something or stayed committed to something and got judged by people/system such as in school and that I have within this created a character of myself that I have made in such a way to never have the “right” to change and to actually be Good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad from past experiences within and from school/parents/friends that is of the money system that is designed on Good and bad People and that requires good and bad people to exist the way as it does now for it to function – realizing that I blindly took on the role of the bad character that would end up working in mines or on the streets doing all the shit jobs because I have accepted and allowed myself as shit, realizing that this is exactly what the system wants because who else would do the shit jobs unless there are people that judge themselves as shit/bad and thus the system deliberately make/create good and bad to serve the system on both ends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good or bad in s world that is based on money and not real value as LIFE where all is equal in fact and where good and bad is that of simply doing what is best for all life and not defined according to social and intellectual levels designed only to make profit in the name of self interest and the abuse of life, realizing that I have labelled myself as being bad for not complying to a system that Abuses LIFE, because I did not “fit in” or met the standards that was required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to a system of abuse towards LIFE and to actually feel bad about myself for it. Realizing it is not to now not comply and suddenly be BAD, as that is also what the system wants as it is simply a part of the system that forces the rest into being good and never seeing the abuse as a example will be made of me then as being bad within the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad due to how I was treated by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as bad according to the words and the manners that was used on and towards me by those that has gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what those that has gone before me in their behaviours and words as facts and real and thus it must be who I am and what I am. Realizing that me accepting that is making it so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up from this character of “I am always bad” and to take a self honest self movement walk and stand for LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD it against myself that I was judged as bad in the past and to make it so and part of my future and to within this feel insecure and less than and in valid and not worthy and full of self hatred and resentment and so act it out or trying to make it better through being a good guy that still always mess up, as the fear of being bad is the driving force of each finger and each word -- and thus it is but all a pretense and a lie and not real but characters upon characters playing their roles to avoid being bad, yet only the bad prevails, realizing that this is not the solutions as the hatred grows and the resentment grow, but that to take self responsibility for myself is the first and only step I must take and walk

TO BE CONTINUED ON THE PARTS BELOW – with self forgiveness.

This Character activates around people that I have placed in my mind as “authority” and as better than me – as people that always do better.

So when I am for instance working and doing my stuff and a person comes in that I have placed in my mind as authority and they say something I freeze inside myself and I literally stop breathing, I am in complete anticipation of getting yelled at or being told how bad I am or that I am doing something wrong, this character is so intense that I will literally do “Nothing wrong” for months and when someone comes to me and say something that I have judged as authority in my mind – I will within myself stop and beam all of me into the mind – like taking on battle positions.

Then I will in quantum time check the “past/memories” to see what I did wrong and what this person possible can/will take out on me now, and I will not find anything, and then as the mind I will even go as far as Believing that it must have happened when I wasn’t aware or conscience, which is kind of impossible – like I did something where I got possessed and came back and do not remember anything – this is the mind as Fear looking at all possible scenarios to be ready to defend/justify/reason/fight.

So breathing all day surely has shown me the real points to work with, actual physical living characters/patters instead of daily mind bubbling pre-occupying thoughts as distractions – I am not saying Ignore and suppress the thoughts and do not Self forgive them, always Self forgive for any and all thoughts, I am simply saying the main points open up for me.

Also within breathing all day more consistently I have had lots of pains in my legs, especially in my Knees and shins and my movement was compromised at times and I had to slow down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the self judgment of being Bad, realizing within living as the self judgment of being bad I am always in search of doing the right/goof thing as to make up for how I judge myself, realizing that within always wanting to do the good thing I am only confirming the self judgment of myself as being bad.

To be continued on as-well..

Day 118 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 4.

Continuing from Day 117 that is a follow up from Day 116 and Day 115 where I take Quotes from the Day 115 Blog and apply Self Forgiveness on each point.

Quote 3: “I have made the skinny “problem” a big problem, I actually made it my mission to gain weight and to do this before I reach the middle ages because I do not want to look like a skinny boy all my life, never getting that “full body” look – interesting how I first talk about the physical problem but then it ends up being all about “looks” again”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get possessed by the Idea/self-belief/opinions/self-judgments of the mind as energy and to within this possession live it out as my “LIFE” mission to gain weight at all costs, even if it means abusing my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body physically as who I am as the flesh in the pursuit of happiness that I am following according to pictures in my mind that isn’t even based on the actual physical reality of all things here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear remaining skinny even when I am in my middle ages. and within and as this “thought”- seeing myself being old and skinny And that I have wasted my Life away within the pursuit of gaining weight and living in regret and never lived life, to rush myself in great fear/anxiety/stress to gain weight before then, not realizing and seeing that I have already wasted six years of my Life only trying to gain weight and muscles and a different body look/appearance according to pictures in my mind and that in this rush I lose track of time as I exist in the mind as energy, and to realize that before I know it I will be in my middle ages still skinny still chasing, and within this actually manifesting my fear through my actions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that being skinny (not anorexic) isn’t wrong and inst unhealthy, it is but how my body is designed through DNA I inherited from my parents and that I have no real choice to change it, yet I do have the point of making a decision within myself to stop the chase and to stop the mission and to except myself as I am here in and as the physical after I have tried everything I can to change it practically and to live my life here in and as the physical one and equal and to use my body with what I have to do what is best for all life in all ways in all possible practical ways.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be patient with myself and to want to rush myself and how I grow and how my body is designed and to within this rushing I am compromising and actually changing the direction my body is growing according to the signals I give my body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I tell myself every day I am skinny and that if I do this for years and already have, that I am giving my body the signals that I am skinny and thus I will remain skinny no matter how much I work out or eat as that which I am telling myself is what I create myself as.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that participating in the mind as that which gives electrical signals to my body and organs that I am daily through my own self judgements/beliefs/ideas/opinions constantly giving the signal of I am skinny and thus it will counter act what I do as eating a lot or working out because The mind will simply tell my metabolism I am skinny and thus it must burn all fat that comes in to keep me skinny. Also realizing that going into the polarity point of now wanting to tell myself I am fat everyday will not work as the fear that motivates it is still based on fear of being skinny and thus the message remains the same to the body, realizing it is to stop all self judgments/beliefs/ideas/opinions and fear and to stop the participation in the mind as this will stop all conscious/sub-conscious/un-conscious signals the body is receiving and the body will not be under constant attack as the electrical signals the mind is sending out and the body as me as who I am can grow or not within and as the physical as the physical expression here as Life one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make everything about me about how I LOOK – realizing that this is completely fucking around with the body as the physical as the body isn’t designed to look good or bad, as the body is designed to function in oneness and equality within and as the physical here as LIFE. And so realizing that as long as I give the body electrical Bombing sessions of how the body must look through forcing and reflecting pictures in my mind onto all my cells the whole time, the cells that has a specific function within the body will not be confused As the cells are receiving messages from the mind that does not comply with what its practical function is and thus the cells will be compromised and eventually cause harm to the body such as cancer – realizing that if I continue to tell my body anything else other than what they do that they are open for malfunctioning and bearing consequences.

It is like telling a banana through electrical impulses to become a apple because it looks better, what will happen? It will obviously have physical dysfunctions and who knows what else might come out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all that I require to give my body is BREATH as that is all they require from my head to function, and that anything else such as the mind with multibillions of dimensions sending millions of more signals to the body will compromise the body and how the body functions and LIMIT the body completely within its true actual physical expression as LIFE.

To be Continued.