Misunderstood Living - Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate with myself in such a way that I misunderstand myself, without taking a moment to breathe and be clear within myself and the communication I have with myself to be clear and direct as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I communicate with myself to fall for the emotions/feelings and thoughts that come up within me and to follow them, instead of sticking to what is truly within me as my self-expression and clarifying that. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy way out by following the thoughts/feelings and emotions that come up within me, to take them and communicate them, instead of taking a moment to stop the thoughts/feelings and emotions and to see what they are trying to hide form me, my true expression and to find words to place with my expression and live that, seeing and realizing that the mind as me fear expressing myself truly as it is unknown, different and much deeper on a substance level. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be ready in any given moment to respond and communicate as a way of defending myself, my ego, to show that I do know, I know myself, I can speak instantly and at will, I do not need to look at anything before speaking, and so implying in the moment that I am already right, not taking the time to see all the dimensions, to see who I am within all the dimensions that are here and to place me within consideration of all dimensions that is here as my expression and see what I will say and do as the path forward that is best for all as myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I experience fear/anxiety/nervousness to go into instant speaking as a way of hiding the fear/anxiety/nervousness, instead of slowing down, taking a breath, forgive myself and look inside to myself (not the thoughts/feelings/emotions) as my expression and who I am and thus what I want to express truly as me as all dimensions considered in the moment, to bring out my true utmost potential as life as expression one and equal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing in a conversation, to fear taking too much time, to fear missing the window for me to speak, and so go into speaking without checking, without placing the words correctly first as who I am, so that my words reflect me one and equal inside and out, and so to stop cycles of regret. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized how I have throughout my life only ever spoken from thoughts/feelings and emotions and never truly considered where they come from, why they show up and how they work, yet I spoke them and acted on them, and so in return created a reality for myself of always feeling and being misunderstood. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for misunderstanding me, for not hearing me, for not seeing me, never considering that I have a world of my own within me, based on how I was raised and brought up within the education system, and this world within me is limited to the vocabulary I was taught/given and so the same for every other being on this planet, and thus when I communicate from my thoughts/feelings and emotions I am in a position assuming that everyone else have those thoughts/feelings and emotions the same within them as me, and thus that they must simply understand me and I do not have to be specific or take the time to specify myself, and so create more conflict and distance and feeling like I am all alone within my world when I communicate with others. Seeing and realizing that it is my responsibility to be clear on my inner world, to know myself truly and to place the words with me as my expression to express myself one and equal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be to lazy to specify myself. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that laziness is self-judgement, and so exposing myself within the point of change, that I simply judge myself as not being able to change, or that it isn’t possible, so I go into laziness to sit in self-judgement and do nothing about what I clearly know needs to change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my expression within me must simply come from me naturally and that everyone and everything must simply get me, accept me as I am, knowing that what I am expression without specifying it, clarifying it for myself in thought word and deed, that I am not even accepting myself and getting to know myself for real, or creating myself for real for when I find something is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to change before I can change, seeing and realizing that I will wait forever, and thus such though is but a point of postponement and justification for not taking the time to change myself for myself first and foremost. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that when I feel misunderstood, and when I am misunderstood and I become emotional about it, that I am revealing only to myself that I do not actually yet understand me, and so I can not go into blaming others for not understanding me, as I myself need to first understand myself to be able to fully express myself in clarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that emotional responses/communication is an indication of lacking self-clarification within myself, and not about what I am reacting to about others/things within this world. Thus I see and realize that when I have a reaction, emotional or feeling where an energy takes over my thoughts and thinking and I want to respond with that to another or about things, That the emotion/feeling is a contamination that took the place of self-clarification, and so I must remove the contamination through clarifying myself with words, as to align my thought and words with my deeds as a living expression of me, and not a reactive responsive expression with no actual standing/foundation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make everyone and everything else a problem, how people react to me, what they say to me as them being at fault to the things I say from thoughts/feelings/emotions, not seeing and realizing that the responses are in fact proper responses, as a thought/feeling/emotion will only bring more of the same, and thus no clarity, simply energy bouncing around creating friction in a fiction of minds communicating. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character/personality of myself that I define myself as, as who I am, from the thoughts/feeling and emotions I have, as a way to justify why I am not specified, why I do not actually know myself, why I have not taken the time to take what is within me and clarify me within all that is within me and outside of me as to know myself as an actual being and not just a personality disorder of thoughts/feelings and emotions that react to life and living, but rather be the directive principle and living example of what it means to be ones utmost potential and so create a world that is best for all as self where all personality disorders end and each being lives in clarity of who they are and where nothing can manipulate, deceive and justify anything, especially ourselves, thus creating a world that is best for all as who I am, who we are, being the living word. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that what ever my GOOD intentions may be, if I am not clear within me, self-specified within my words/worlds that my intentions will never manifest one and equal, as my living and words will always come out much different then the intentions I have/had as I myself do not even know how and what to live to manifest my own intentions, as I exist as randomness within me, randomness will manifest outside of me, and no intention can find its way within such an environment to manifest as the intention, and so I see and realize that as long as I do not specify myself, place words to my expression and living in details, clarifying myself in each breath and moment, that I am always within the intention to deceive/manipulate and justify myself and nothing else. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I must change myself, specify my self-expression within what is best for all, all ways, as this is the only way to actually specify, as all life, and not within self-interest, as that is only self-fish from the point of not expanding self to all life as who I am, and so the only specification that can exist is that which is always within what is best for all life and so me as my best version of myself in living and communication with myself and others where my words are always within consideration of all dimensions that exist here. 

More to come….

When the Failure Character takes over - application to correction is the way forward - Day 597

Self-correction takes one moment in self-directed movement to apply and live. This is an act of self-forgiveness if it is done within self-directed movement, not based on how you feel, it is to move and direct self regardless of how one feels and to breathe and move forward.

About a Month ago I started a 21 day challenge of writing Self-forgiveness in my blogs. I failed.
My failure did not come as me saying, Ok I am not doing it today, or I do not feel like doing it today, in fact it was my “desire” to write my blog for that day. Due to circumstances, I had no laptop, no internet and I was in a completely different environment the day I broke this challenge.

The Feeling of failure and disappointment came over me the following day, for not completing this challenge. I felt that I have not only failed me but everyone else that was following this challenge of mine, and even some that joined in on the same challenge.

I did not write a Blog that following day either, due to me still being in this different environment and having NO laptop, no internet, and I stayed at this different place for a week. I saw no possible way for me to continue with the challenge, I had my phone with me and some shared wifi at times.

After the week was over and already seven days of no writing happened, the judgement of failure has taken over to such an extent that I did not even feel like writing anymore, I felt that it was a waste of time now to continue with this challenge, the point of the challenge was missed, I had two options, starting over or not continue the challenge at all.

Then, another week passed, and I have done nothing. I have succumbed to my experience of failure, in fact I have now been living this failure, this failure has now become a norm, I have accepted and allowed it to exist as me, as who I am within this challenge, this point. Not only did it effect my writing, the challenge, I started seeing this point of failure coming through in all parts of my life, a sort of depression, giving up on things, and feeling like just not continuing doing what I have done in terms of writing, social media, showing my face, speaking out, placing my words, and standing openly, because of one point of failure, that I have judged instead of forgiving myself and starting over, has now effected all parts of life, without even noticing. It became normal actions, as it my life was changing naturally into that of a failure.

This is why I write today, because this is my actions of forgiving myself and letting go of what the mind took advantage of and directed my reality, and the real power lies within action/living, not thinking and festering within the mind on what happened, what was, who is judging me, me judging me, and getting lost in an alternate reality.

I expected forgiveness from others, I expected others to understand my situation, I expected approval from others to start over, that it is okay, Yet it never came, so I waited, one week after the other, and then another week more, no one was giving me the thumbs up to start over, only I had that power and authority, no matter how bad I have judged my failure, I must stop and forgive and start over for myself.

So I will from Monday/Tomorrow start over with my 21 days challenge of writing self-forgiveness and I will myself to walk this point for myself.

Day 567 - Words and Who I Am

 Who am I? When I ask this short and simple question it feels like the universe is opening up to me, I see that within the question of Who am I, I am attempting to place myself in a box, through a short description, Perhaps I must take in the Universe and see who am I in reverse to this question.

Instead of Placing myself as who I am in a short description, I can rather expend myself as who I am as all that is HERE. 

I have seen and realized that in each Breath, each moment, That I am in those breathes and moments each time living a different word, not by choice, it is as if it is happening to me, a mood will come over me and I am living the word mood, or anger, or sadness, or happiness.

There are so many words that I am living and yet not aware of them, these words describe who I am in each moment. The problem I am seeing is how I am not the directive principle of who I am in each moment/breath. 

I have been practicing and implementing a new way of defining myself in each moment/breathe - instead of me living and accepting and allowing certain unknown words to come to me and for me to live them, I take a word instead, and I embrace that new word in each moment, a word that I would like to live, a word that I see will support and assist me to become my utmost potential, to become living words. 

This is not to create a polarity, such as when I am sad, to now embrace and live the word Happiness, NO! I take a word that is a correction, looking at why did sadness just come over me, perhaps I need to embrace the word Alone, to be alone, to stand alone, to be okay with being alone, as the word alone within it can be ALL as ONE - so alone isn't really being alone, it is to be here with ALL life as One, redefined to become a living understanding and to embrace ME - because I may have been sad due to being hurt by someone else, which showed me that I was reliant on others to bring me happiness, and thus not satisfied with myself, perhaps I have never really looked at myself and said, hey let me be alone for a while and focus on myself to be satisfied with myself, let me first embrace me.

So, Who am I? I am the words that I live in each moment/breath - I can either choose the words, understand the words, live the words and direct and decide my own live, or I can just sit and let any and all words influence me, being a victim to life, as words create our Wor(l)d.

Day 566 - Blame, Be Lame, be I may Lame, May I be Lame

After reading A widows Journey to life blog – Day 686 - http://awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2016/03/day-686-revisiting-blame-realizing.html I decided to take a look at the word BLAME for myself.

Blame – this is quite a Big word for a small word, I find that this word has not been in my vocabulary much, in terms of looking at myself and this reality. I find that when I see this word it has become a LIVING as who I am – I will for instance not say – I blame you, you are to blame, they are to blame, I will use different words and speak sentences that becomes BLAME towards someone or something, and even worse, I actually then behave and act BLAME – but I never say the word Blame, speaking it.

Dictionary definition
1.
assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
1.
responsibility for a fault or wrong.

Those are two simple definition, one is giving blame and the other is taking Blame.
My word Play with Breaking it up and sounding.

Blame
Be Lame
Be Lame Me
Be lame am me
be I may Lame,
May I be Lame

OK so before I get into it – this word I find is a System word, meaning it shows a System/construct – but I do not find within it a sounding or wording that can be lived from it as a correction, as a word that I can or want to implement to LIVE, as it is literally just lame to blame, so I will deconstruct this word so that I can Identify within my speaking and behavior where I am living the word blame and to then correct myself from there within implementing a new word to live, thus changing my speaking and thus my behavior/patterns/habits.

Blame refers to the past, we can’t really blame something or someone for things that hasn’t yet happened, so the first question is, why do we want to BLAME? Is it to be Lame, to dis-empower ourselves, because the word Lame in itself exist and has a specific meaning.

1. Lame: 1.
make (a person or animal) lame.
"somebody lamed him with a stone"

So through Blaming are we throwing stones at ourselves? When we believe within blaming that we are somehow empowering ourselves, because all I can see one gets from Blaming is, is to sound good, sound right, sound reasonable, sound just, have Logic – all those points are required to blame – yet when we do that we totally dis-empower ourselves and do not even slightly look at ourselves, in fact, we create a specific Veil that forms around us when in the process of Blaming that even the people that are being blamed seem like the Blamer is on the right side. which is what a Blamer wants, they do nt want to be show how they are responsible equally and created the cause and the effect that led to blaming.

BUT – what does blaming expose about a person or self? When you blame the fact is you need a lot of evidence to proof your blaming, so when I or you come forth with BLAMING it only reveals something about myself or yourself, that we sat on the side and we watch everything happening in front of us and we did absolutely nothing and expected those who are doing something to do exactly what we wanted, yet never stood up to participate, which shows one thing, the Blamer is only speaking up when it is to late, and thus the blamer, self NEVER acted or did anything to prevent, starting with themselves, and thus when a person is Blaming, they are speaking from an Observer perspective who wanted something specific for themselves but wanted others to do it, then it didn’t happen, so here the blamer become someone that only exist as knowledge and information that as that point in time when blaming takes place, all the knowledge and information is useless, because it was needed before the blaming started not afterwards.

I am covering a lot of dimensions, I can see there are many levels of blaming on how to cover this word, so I am placing it in general, where I can take this information to my own relationship I have with myself, with others, with the world and see the creation of Blaming and how it is actually showing the LAMENESS – to be lame, and to be lame can either be since Birth (which we all are, because of brainwashing and how we are educated) or if we have the brains we simply decide to Lame ourselves and place responsibility on others, so we are essentially throwing stones at ourselves to not be able to move/direct/speak common sense within self-honesty in the moments when it is needed and to not let it become BLAME = too late.

So the correction is Self-responsibility and to not make the focus OTHERS but self-First always as the correction – I will place a Video Link in here of a Hangout I did on Self-responsibility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIYOSyIKedo
 

Day 565 – Personal Persona Person Prison

On the word Personal

Word Play
Person – all
Persona – l

Here I am taking on the word Personal – where it is currently existing within and as me from and as a system definition. Where Personal has become personal to ME.

So when we take a look at the current definition that we are all living as Personal, here is a dictionary definition for you and me.

- of, affecting, or belonging to a particular person rather than to anyone else.

- of or concerning one's private life, relationships, and emotions rather than matters connected with one's public or professional career.

So when I look at those definition I can say within self-honesty that I exist mostly within and as that definition(s) – I have defined my life around the “personal” and completely missed LIFE. So by breaking up the word I came to see two more hidden meanings/revelations
In the word personal we have Persona, and Persona is the following from the good old Dictionary:
- the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others.

It is quite fascinating because here I can see how I have lived a certain personal lifestyle where everything is about me and my personal – and within that I have created a Persona, which others are perceiving me with, and I also have come to LIKE this persona, in fact throughout my life I have lived to actively advertise my personal life as to create a certain persona as to feed the EGO.

The part that I have never lived, which is also in the word Personal, is once again hidden in breaking up the word and playing with the sounds.

Personal should be “Person ALL” – a person that lives for ALL – where one moves from the personal to the ALL/LIFE – it is fascinating to see how this one word hold the system/mind living of the word in the word and yet also have the reverse process/correction within the same word, the key to live the word in the correct way that is best for all life.

So now how to take this word and to physically integrate this word into and as me, to become a LIVING word as who I am, where I stop the personal and start living as a person that lives for ALL, this one words takes on all og me, every aspect of me – as I have defined myself and all of me throughout my life as Personal to ME, I never considered to live and consider things for ALL as who I am as my actions, my words my life.

So the first question I am asking myself now is, should there be something that is personal?
Well to investigate this point for myself right here and now, I must consider all, everything – and looking at my body, looking at what is here, NOTHING belongs to me, nothing is personal to me, not even a single cell in my body is mine, not the air I breathe Is mine, not even the food I eat is mine, everything return to substance/life, so what is personal? How have I lived this personal as such an absolute within myself, within my life, yet the physical is always showing me that nothing is personal, nothing is just for ME as mine. Everything belongs to LIFE.

How come all my life have I made everything about me and my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, my experience, my life, everything was about me personally. When someone says something to me that I don’t like, I take it personal, how do I take it personal, where does this personal GO? Do I have a little bank somewhere in another dimension where I collect everything that is personal to me, what I have as belongings, what I experience, what I react to or take personal? So that I can do what with it? What is the point of taking things personally? To take things personally my ego gets hurt? Thus my self-value is hurt? What I personally have on this earth as material things determine how my ego feels? How I define myself? What is the point of personal?

Did I just realize that I wasted my life on something that makes no sense yet I lived it as an absolute thing? I mean it makes way more sense be a person for ALL/Life this is living in a way where what I do is “giving” instead of collecting or hording, may it be material things or mind/emotional/feelings/thoughts that results in nothing as who I am as a being/life– and instead live to give, as my giving will be to life.

So that’s all good in theory and to really set up the word new for myself – person-ALL – so now every time I see myself focusing on “personal” I can identify that I am within a persona, I am within EGO, I am within self-interest, I am in the Prison/person that can only focus on itself and have limited capabilities to look at LIFE and to act and direct myself, the thinking of focus of “personal” is very limited – but when I expand myself in those moments from persona to person for All I remove the inner and I expand as the outer to include all that is HERE, in breathe.

Day 433 – Indicators to reach Self-Perfection.

Is it possible to reach self-Perfection? Now I am not talking about self-perfection like when you take a look in the mirror and wanting to see self-perfection as a Picture.

I am talking about self-perfection as self, as who I am and who you are and then what I do and what you do.

Now, the question has been, how do I know what to do and to change to reach self-perfection? Where do I start and what is the indicator’s I must look out for to know what I must do and when and how?
First of all, I realized that I have to be serious about reaching self-perfection; I had to make a decision within myself that I am going to move and direct myself to self-perfection and within that, it takes time, dedication and effort and thus patience yet movement.

and realizing that I cannot do this alone, this is why earth is such a awesome place, everything has consequences and feedback and thus a chance to correct and learn and self-realize, not just because there are humans here, but because everything is Here as the physical.  

This decision within self/myself I had to make first, because this is where I establish the relationship with myself, and who I will be within what comes next, the indicators that will indicate where and what I must do and when.

BUT before I go into what the indicators are I want to bring up another point to consider on self-perfection, to take into account, self-perfection isn’t what people believe it to be, we all have this idea attached to “perfection” in itself, these are two different things, self-perfection is about self and my/your reality/world that you/I participate within and who we are within it.

Thus SELF-PERFECTION is about self, not other people, not about judgment and comparisons; it is something we do for ourselves all ways regardless of what others say/think. It is perfecting self.

Back to the indicators: the indicators can be seen and be explained in many ways – I like to always give a “personal example” to give people a concept to understand and to see for themselves in their own life a similar point.

So here is my example, a very simple daily thing.

Every day in my house there are these things all around the house called Dishes – Humans use these things on a daily basis more than ones, I myself understand the frustration of wanting to reach for a cup to have some coffee and then there isn’t any cups, not even one, I look to the sink and I see, OH they are all dirty, so I know I am a culprit in this, if I wasn’t, then there would have been a clean cup every now and then, the one I washed, but I didn’t, just like everyone else, we tend to do what everyone else is doing, so it must be normal, because they are doing it, it means they are accepting and allowing it and thus I can do it. because now they will not be angry at me for not doing it, so we are all now stuck in this “silent agreement” that no one has to do their own dishes and we will all just “enjoy” life till someone has to do the accumulated dishes, its standing like everywhere on the counter.

So I took it upon myself to do all my dishes, not as a way to be righteous or spiteful or to back up a future conflict where I can stand in the “right” and not in the wrong and make everyone else feel shitty.

NO – it started this way, I made an agreement with myself to work towards self-perfection – for myself, so what happened after every cup of coffee or after every plate of food, I would finish the coffee or food and I would walk to the sink and I would find that there isn’t any space to place my dishes – But there was another way, and it was like the only way, it was really a very clear indicator for me what had to happen next – I had to actually wash my own dishes and dry it off and put it away, because the only space left was the space we made for them to stay, in the cupboard and clean.

But that wasn’t the real indicator, that was just a accumulated point of consequences and now the INNER ME as who I am as that which determines what I do was exposed to me, and the reasons behind why I always just wanted to put my plate or cup down and Go.

These indicators came up within me in that moment when I did not find a space to place my dishes, it was a reaction, a thought and then there was this thing called resistance, and then the resistance showed me as a mini projector playing in my head what needs to happen next, which was me seeing myself washing my dishes and drying them off and placing them in the cupboard – and then why I did not want to do it. This revealed a point of Laziness and a point of inconvenience and thus comfort-zone.

Let me give you another example if that one wasn’t to clear: I was fetching a bottle for myself from the store room and another one for another person, I saw that they were both full of dust and needed to be washed, so I went to the house, I knew I had to wash my bottle now, and I had the thought of washing the other persons bottle as well, but I had this resistance of doing it, because it’s the other persons bottle so he must wash it himself, so as I went to the person I handed over his bottle, But I did it feeling guilty, because I knew that I was going to wash my bottle and could have just washed his as well, but instead went against what I knew. So I started washing my bottle and the other person says to me, so why are you not also washing my bottle, I mean you must have known it needed to be washed before we could use it, yet you give it back to me dirty and full of dust but you will wash only yours? Then I laugh from a guilty conscious and said, I knew it, I wanted to do it but instead went against it, and I took the bottle and I washed it as well.

See the point of self-perfection is to do what you Know you must be doing, not what I think you must be doing, what you know you must be doing, there is a difference, thinking what you must be doing it where the mind is making decisions on made up stuff, Knowing what you need to do it real time real physical things that is here, it isn’t deniable and its haunting – it’s like walking past the cat food bowl and seeing its empty and just going, It needs to be filled, YET leaving it because apparently its someone else’s job, and then a week later the cat is dead, and then you go, I knew it.

The indicators are usually in the forms of resistance and then the moments of KNOWING what you must be doing, instead of what one is doing, its these things that if one starts doing it you will find yourself changing in a way that’s not predictable, because they are moment to moment dependent, breathe by breathe – unless its set stuff, scheduled, they are also just important but it’s not getting to the scheduled things that later on create the same moments where one goes, I knew I should have don’t that.

So how does this lead to self-perfection? Well it’s about self, it’s about you, it’s about me and who we are and what we are capable of doing that is best for ALL life in our own self change/perfection. 
Where we perfect ourselves as who we are in each breathe. Which is something we all still need to discover, yes it’s not impossible because it’s not picture related, it’s not energy related, it’s not limited to mind fantasies and imaginations, its physical living, which we all can do and perfect ourselves within.

It is those moments when you know – when you see it’s something you resist doing, when its compassionate, when its considerate when it’s not within self-interest, when it’s not about just self, when its more and beyond self, where one has to move to, where one has to let go of the limitations and the excuses and the justifications and the self-righteous reasons/logic/back-chat and where ones expands oneself in each breathe in each moment and where one becomes the universe, as you in reverse.

FYI – don’t confuse this with when you “think” I should probably go to that party now, because its been on my mind all night that I should probably go But I am not because I am resisting being with that other person etc, NO – remember the difference between thinking and knowing, knowing is, when even if there is a party going on that you are not going to – you KNOW you are staying home because you KNOW you must stop drinking and rather do some work around the house, which has been avoided through going to parties all the time – For Examples sake.

Day 402 – Discipline and self-discipline Part 4

Day 399 - Discipline Part 1
Day 400 - Discipline Part 2
Day 401 - Discipline Part 3

When and as I see that I am moving/directing my breath in a way that isn’t effective and supportive, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to check my discipline in the moment within directing my breathe effectively and constructive, through checking what is my plan in the moment, what is it that I am busy with and doing, what can I do, I lay out the plan for myself and to then follow through/execute the plan till it is done, as that is my discipline.

When and as I wake up I commit myself to discipline myself to make my first moment in the morning a breath and not a thought or thoughts, and when and as I see that I start with a thought I stop and I breathe, seeing and realizing that self-discipline starts within what I accept and allowed within me and that outside of me as who I am determines what I do how I move/direct me in each moment.

I commit myself to check myself and if I am planning things to do and to give myself direction, instead of waiting for myself to simply fall into doing random stuff that comes up.

When and as I see myself doing random stuff that is of the old pattern of how I spend my time, I stop and I breathe and I give myself a plan, this id the plan, the discipline and I follow the plan and I do not accept any thoughts/feelings/emotions to move/direct me in any other way and thus to use breathing to correct the old pattern that I have designed and created as a system within me through not following automations and to be self-disciplined within moving myself within the plan.

I see and realize that sticking to the plan must be within practical considerations and common sense – where common sense is that I can have a plan and I can be disciplined within the plan and be self-disciplined within following the plan, but when and as another point arises within my day that takes priority over my current plan, then common sense is to redirect myself within a new plan to get the new point done, as this is the plan in the moment and thus I see and realize that I must be flexible within my breath and to move within consideration of all that is here. As self-discipline is to direct each moment within each breathe and to make a plan in each breathe/moment that is new and to not hold onto the old and the past to determine each moment.

When and as I see myself creating a point of self-interest within being disciplined where my discipline becomes a point of not considering all that is here and only my own goals and my own time and my own things that I can/want/need to do, I stop and I breathe and I focus on self-discipline within breathing, as the plan within breathing is to be HERE at all times as the physical, as the physical changes and has ways of changing plans and thus I must be like water within the physical, moving and directing myself according to what is here as breathe as the ultimate self-discipline which guides me within being disciplines within all other areas where there is no mind, no energy no reactions/fears/limitation and me as the physical as life stands and thus accordingly be self-disciplined. 

I see and realize that self-discipline is the key to discipline – as there is the discipline to start something and to finish it then the self-discipline is to when and as the plan is interrupted or short cut then I must be able to be flexible and to be disciplined within stopping what I am doing and to change the plan in a single moment with no reactions/fear and to then follow through on the new plan and to still come back to the old plan and finish that, yet the self-discipline as breathing will be the consistent within who I am and how I move/direct myself and reality when and as reality may/can/will change sometimes as I am not the only being here on earth or the only influence here on this PLANet and thus self-discipline is the key where I move/direct/live within a principal, where the principal of doing what is best for all life in all ways is my Plan in each breathe.