Day 110 – Attracted to Broken Characters


All my Life whenever I fell for a girl or liked a girl of when ever I had a crush on a Girl due to certain characteristics I saw within them and how they are, I always discovered something Broken in them. 

Now what is the coincidence I ask myself, I mean it happened all the time, every-time, when I fall in love or like or am attracted to a girl there is a Past with this girl that basically fucked the girl up.

So this proves one thing, Characters are created from of memory as Past experiences, I mean it has now been proven to me over and over again, the characteristics I look for in a girl as the character she is ended up having a source as an fucked up past.

And the fact that I could read the characteristically points in the girls (as we all can) and they all ended up with the same point as some past that was horrible or disastrous or some stuff even still happening in their live, and this also shows that it is possible to read a persons past in their characteristics and behaviors and words etc. 

And what I find weird is, that I loved these broken characters, because they gave my Life and Who I was as my character meaning/value and so my character was supported by their characters and thus my character was supporting their characters.

This is Love Hate and Hate Love relationships – this is why the world is fucked up and can never change till we change for real.

Because looking at this character I was playing of being the “super hero” saving the girl or giving her a reason to live or to help her with her problems or to be there for her where the rest of the world is only against her, or where I am the loving awesome boyfriends because the rest of the world is so fucked up. 

And the girl is this character of being all submissive and always so attached and in need for me and wanting to be with me and mysterious looking and with strong opinions and a bit insecure but not to much and shy and funny and cute at the same time, yet emotional a lot of the time and full of stress towards the world and the future.

Clearly I can see within this how both characters are supporting each other and calling it “love” and how these two characters then support the continuation of the world and the fucked up state it is within, and because there is love, the two characters will not want to change the world because that will mean the love will have no more purpose and simply not be real anymore.

The character I played was depending on Girls getting fucked up in this world by men and the world system and just about everything and so they are in need of a savior and so that my savior character that is always in need of acceptance will need girls that gets fucked up by other men and the world can be needed and so support and accept and allow each others existence as Love. This is such abuse and not a solution for anything and only continuing the abuse in this world as long as such characters exist.

So yes, changing the world and stopping the characters go hand in hand because the characters are creation of the Abuse and destruction and Hate and all the evil in this world, so obviously the characters NEED the fucked up world to exist and as long as we call it love, we will never see this point and change the world to that which is best for all life.- 

Self Forgiveness Coming next – Stay Tuned.

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