Day 569 - I am just not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe and judge myself that I am just not enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough as a fact within me that I am not good enough, through the input of this world that I have received, from society, family, media and to submit and become that which I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not smart enough as a fact within me and to have thoughts/backchat/emotions/feelings about myself where I continuously confirm within me this to be true, and to then live this believe equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and live the believe as a fact within me that I am NOT tall enough, as an idea/image within my mind of what I believe I should be to be the right, and thus I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am now Strong enough as a fact within me within all the believes and comparisons and ideas I have within my mind to set the case against myself and to always lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not Capable enough as a fact within me, where I use past experiences/moments/memories to confirm that I am not capable enough and to thus sabotage any and every opportunity, even within self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am just not old enough, to do what I want to do with confidence, believing that confidence comes with age, and experiences, and to within this believe hold back and to not act, stand, breathe and direct and rather wait for others to do so that I judge as old enough, experienced enough and that has the right image of age to do what needs to be done, seeing and realizing that I will wait forever and only prolong my process and the process as life one and equal by waiting within this believe/excuse/justification

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not tough enough, within and as the believe that I must be though, where I have gotten an image and idea from and as the system that toughness is required from a human being to survive and live in this world, seeing and realizing that toughness as an interior and exterior is exactly what is wrong with this world and actually only exposes a weakness within self and thus as a manifestation within this world, where everything is though.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being quiet enough yet, where I am within the believe that I must be quiet immediately now, and to within this believe compromise myself with more voices and self-talk that is judgment of me not being what I desire, or aim to be as being quiet within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the believe that I am not rich enough, where I have placed my self-value and who I am within riches that is external outside of me, instead of seeing and realizing that the riches the world has presented as adding value to a person is of the mind as the enslavement system that is here where one forgets oneself and thus never focus on oneself as everything one defines oneself according to is placed out of reach, never looking at self as LIFE as all that is here in oneness and equality and to stop the separation of riches and poverty to exist first within self and so without as ones living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being healthy enough, where I compare myself and my health to some image and picture within my mind of what a perfect healthy person should look like and act like, as this picture is unreachable and a creation of the mind, thus not practical or within the consideration of the physical and what is here, and so I place myself on a never ending search for being healthy and achieving that image/idea/opinion and thus in return within the law or polarity that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by I create the polarity that I am not healthy and always lacking something, always missing something, always just not healthy enough and thus actually sick and in need of help constantly, always in a constant fear of what will become of me if I do not reach that perfect healthy, thus my disease it actually once again the mind and my unhealthiness is of the mind, as fear as thoughts/feeling and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being popular enough, where I have added a certain believe of myself and who I am within how popular I am, as the idea/believe/opinion is that if I am popular then that means I am doing it right, that I am on the right track, that I am finally worth something in other people’s eyes, and thus create the exact polarity within myself as my experience, that I am not valuable, that I do not mean anything, that I am not doing the right things, that I am on the wrong track, and thus I live a life of discouragement and putting myself down, or where I run after something in my mind to show me that what I do it worth doing, that it is the right thing to do, which I will never reach as I know and understand that popularity is a mind system, as within and without where only a few is selected to deliberately create separation and create enslavement to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being disciplined enough, where my definition of the word discipline is still defined within me according to past experiences, media and society, where discipline is still an image, certain way of how to live and be and seen as disciplines in OTHERS eyes, and thus discipline will never be enough for me, and thus I will never be disciplined enough, as the system/Mind deliberately create and place what key factors are within ones life as something not reachable and out there, and to accept and allow this within myself I always judge myself and guilt trip myself for nor reaching this discipline within my mind, thus I see and realize that I must redefine discipline for myself to become a practical living word that I can live as who I am in each breath, where it isn’t something I force upon me but where I live it as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being technical enough, where I have taken this word and I have compared myself to everyone else I know that is/are technical or that I have perceived as being technical within my world and to place myself as less than others and to then separate myself from others and placing myself in a different box, instead of seeing and realizing that if someone else that I see as being technical and good at it where it works, that I can s a equal and one human being be technical as the other person and that I am as capable, as the other person is an example to me to show me it can be done, it is possible and not impossible, and to within this push myself to develop myself to become technical and to allow and accept help, support and assistance within humbleness through understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being gentle enough, within comparing myself to others who I have defined as being gentle towards others, through my definition of what gentleness is to me, and to within this interpret what others are doing as being gentle within my definition, where I have set my definition of the word gentleness as something separate from me through past experiences where I have judged myself as not being a gentle person and to within this hold it against myself and thus separate myself from gentleness and thus I will never be gentle enough even if I try my hardest to express and be gentle, as long as the memory/experience lies within me as a LIE I told myself and believed, then I will never be able to be enough as the gentleness I will attempt to live will be seen as a lie within me while I am living gentleness and thus my living of gentleness will be a consistent self-judgment and self-sabotage, as this is the design of the mind to always attempt and keep a person limited and to never be enough.

Day 566 - Blame, Be Lame, be I may Lame, May I be Lame

After reading A widows Journey to life blog – Day 686 - http://awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2016/03/day-686-revisiting-blame-realizing.html I decided to take a look at the word BLAME for myself.

Blame – this is quite a Big word for a small word, I find that this word has not been in my vocabulary much, in terms of looking at myself and this reality. I find that when I see this word it has become a LIVING as who I am – I will for instance not say – I blame you, you are to blame, they are to blame, I will use different words and speak sentences that becomes BLAME towards someone or something, and even worse, I actually then behave and act BLAME – but I never say the word Blame, speaking it.

Dictionary definition
1.
assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
1.
responsibility for a fault or wrong.

Those are two simple definition, one is giving blame and the other is taking Blame.
My word Play with Breaking it up and sounding.

Blame
Be Lame
Be Lame Me
Be lame am me
be I may Lame,
May I be Lame

OK so before I get into it – this word I find is a System word, meaning it shows a System/construct – but I do not find within it a sounding or wording that can be lived from it as a correction, as a word that I can or want to implement to LIVE, as it is literally just lame to blame, so I will deconstruct this word so that I can Identify within my speaking and behavior where I am living the word blame and to then correct myself from there within implementing a new word to live, thus changing my speaking and thus my behavior/patterns/habits.

Blame refers to the past, we can’t really blame something or someone for things that hasn’t yet happened, so the first question is, why do we want to BLAME? Is it to be Lame, to dis-empower ourselves, because the word Lame in itself exist and has a specific meaning.

1. Lame: 1.
make (a person or animal) lame.
"somebody lamed him with a stone"

So through Blaming are we throwing stones at ourselves? When we believe within blaming that we are somehow empowering ourselves, because all I can see one gets from Blaming is, is to sound good, sound right, sound reasonable, sound just, have Logic – all those points are required to blame – yet when we do that we totally dis-empower ourselves and do not even slightly look at ourselves, in fact, we create a specific Veil that forms around us when in the process of Blaming that even the people that are being blamed seem like the Blamer is on the right side. which is what a Blamer wants, they do nt want to be show how they are responsible equally and created the cause and the effect that led to blaming.

BUT – what does blaming expose about a person or self? When you blame the fact is you need a lot of evidence to proof your blaming, so when I or you come forth with BLAMING it only reveals something about myself or yourself, that we sat on the side and we watch everything happening in front of us and we did absolutely nothing and expected those who are doing something to do exactly what we wanted, yet never stood up to participate, which shows one thing, the Blamer is only speaking up when it is to late, and thus the blamer, self NEVER acted or did anything to prevent, starting with themselves, and thus when a person is Blaming, they are speaking from an Observer perspective who wanted something specific for themselves but wanted others to do it, then it didn’t happen, so here the blamer become someone that only exist as knowledge and information that as that point in time when blaming takes place, all the knowledge and information is useless, because it was needed before the blaming started not afterwards.

I am covering a lot of dimensions, I can see there are many levels of blaming on how to cover this word, so I am placing it in general, where I can take this information to my own relationship I have with myself, with others, with the world and see the creation of Blaming and how it is actually showing the LAMENESS – to be lame, and to be lame can either be since Birth (which we all are, because of brainwashing and how we are educated) or if we have the brains we simply decide to Lame ourselves and place responsibility on others, so we are essentially throwing stones at ourselves to not be able to move/direct/speak common sense within self-honesty in the moments when it is needed and to not let it become BLAME = too late.

So the correction is Self-responsibility and to not make the focus OTHERS but self-First always as the correction – I will place a Video Link in here of a Hangout I did on Self-responsibility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIYOSyIKedo
 

Day 554 - Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give attention to everything about me that is wrong and sinful except me that is LIFE one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be of SIN, even though I wasn’t born in sin, and to have given all my attention and focus throughout my life to the sins, and to within giving sin all of my attention I have limited and created myself according to sin, an imperfect human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out the positive within life, where I see and realize that the positive I seek out in life is only confirming the negative within me, the sinful me, so I see and I realize that if I am seeking anything positive as an energy then I am seeing to make up for something within me that I have judged myself as being bad/negative as sin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as physically inferior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as immature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my big good looking smile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my great personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person with good intentions.
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person with courage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a s responsible person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a respectable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a unique person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself a as good partner in relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good citizen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a perfect son to my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a special human being in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a product of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a stubborn person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an egoistic person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as incompetent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to this world I live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to my name and what has been attached to my name as “me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the flesh that I walk and breathe in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an animal activist and lover.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a world changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a sex addict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as alcohol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as eating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for enjoying food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge food as enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge water.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as water as just being here
and that I do not need to drink it nessasarely, there are other things to drink.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as healthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unhealthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place life in a judgment of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the fear of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as separate from and of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge self-forgiveness in all possible ways, not positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the LAW of nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as THE law of the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge the legal system of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not having limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a parent to a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a partner to another human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a family guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good family guy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad family member.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a bad member of the community.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good member of the community.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as good or bad music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge bad music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge music as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all that is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the mind consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the conscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the sub-conscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the unconscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not yet understanding the science of life one and equal as how the physical functions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the separation that I exist as still within this life from and of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not standing one and equal in fact with all life YET.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the bad or good decisions I have made in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the decisions I make in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as the cruel and evil shit that exist within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as war.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as racism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as crime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inhumane acts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as spirituality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than god/LIFE/universe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as religion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as love and light.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as peace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my penis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as vaginas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as separate from what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as better than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as possessions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my internal reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my siblings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my skin color.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my nose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my hair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as gossiping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as gangsters.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as corruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as insecurities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as other peoples actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all forms upon the face of the earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all the materialistic things that the mind has created within this world as distractions and entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all entertainment that exit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all the feelings and emotions and thoughts that come up within entertainment within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as all desire that exist within all humans and within this world as materialistic designs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself AS a control freak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a nagging person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a needy person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a restless person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a stable person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person who can be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a person that cannot be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that must be respected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that respects others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that has honour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that honors others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that is reliable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can be relied on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as someone that can rely on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as superior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior to life and the creations of the world that exist here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being superior to other life forms within this world.

To be Continued.

Day 470 – Meeting new people Part 1

I have met dozens of families in the past few months, within this time and within meeting all these new and different people, I have noticed a very interesting point within myself.

When I meet new people they are literally new to me, they have never seen me or hear of me or have any idea about who I am. Yet when I meet these new people I am presenting my “old” self to them.

The interesting point is that within me meeting so many people that does not know me yet, I have the opportunity in each and every meeting to change myself, to be my better self, to be who I can be.

They do not have a preconceived judgment or idea about me, unlike everyone that already knows me and see me through a preconceived idea/belief/judgment – which is created through me and how I present myself and my presence and how I carry that with me in each and every moment – which is my own acceptance and allowance.

So why with so many opportunities with so many new people do I accept and allow myself to present and stand within and as myself as who I am as the lesser me, as my own judgments and ideas and beliefs, when I in fact have NOTHING within these new opportunities that tell me I must keep these judgments and beliefs and ideas about myself, the people I am meeting have no way of knowing how I have judged myself yet or not and keeping me to it.

Interesting that I mention “others keeping me to it” – I have this “feeling” that when I am around people that do know me that I have to be a certain me, that I must live within a certain presence around these people that they accept and allow, the person that they know, no matter how self-sabotaging it is or if it is a lesser me so to say, I always do it for the sake of being accepted and allowed to LIVE lol, yet it is clearly me acceptance and allowance as I am deliberately doing it knowing the game or the face I have on or am playing.

So now I take this with me when I meet new people, instead of using it as an opportunity to be myself.

Day 150 – Living Commitment – Day 21 of 21 – False Image Stability Final.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus so much on breathing that I started to focus on my breathing as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my breathing limited to a certain idea of breathing where I only breathe and do not live HERE in and as the physical where my breathe expands into al that is here as awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I focus on my breathing within in me I compromise myself within interacting in my reality as the breathing becomes a Thought within me where I breathe in reaction to a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I have made breathing an obsession where I breathe as the mind instead of breathing HERE as all that is here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I walk around in my day to focus so much on breathing that I am not aware as my breath as all that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when and as I make breathing my only focus then I cannot interact or be aware of LIFE HERE as breath as the breathe becomes internal instead of expanding me as life in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe as a mind awareness instead of a physical one and equal breathe here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have created a breathing character as the mind, where I play the role of "I am focusing on breathing now" and that this role becomes the main characters only role and thus I see and realize I have trapped myself/limited myself to only play this role of "breathing" instead of breathing in fact here as a living expression of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make breathing role I must play, instead of breathing here as the physical naturally.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be so in fear of not breathing and having thoughts that I have become breath obsessed and within this literally only internalize my reality instead of expanding me in each breath as LIE here, where my in breathe is bring all LIFE here and my out breathe is me expanding myself into and as all LIFE one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I focus on my breath internally I am only validating the breathe as having to work on the internal reality and thus never truly expand as LIFE as what is here in and as the physical in awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus my breathe only on breathing through mind possessions and internal energies and thoughts and stopping them, and through only doing this I have programmed and patterned my breathe to only function for this reason and so I will only breathe to work on the internal reality and never become aware of what is here as all life as I train my breathe to not be expansive but only limited to working with the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have for so long focused on breathing just WITHIN me that my breath has become a inner reality anticipating the next inner conflict, and thus I see and realize that I have only been breathing and literally trained my breathe to only anticipate the mind and the energetic experiences, instead of moving from the mind as the breathe expanding me here as life as the physical where the breath is not longer subject to only be a function of working through mind fucks, but to be here as LIFE where a mind fuck is simply a breathe to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as I walk everyday all day only breathing to get through points that I am only telling my body that I am breathing only to work through the same patterns every day, instead of training my breathe HERE out of the mind in and as the physical in actual awareness of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my breathe through being so focused on stopping my inner reality that I have not considered to actually breathe here as the physical reality, and thus the compromise is me breathing inward instead of outwards as all life only re-creating the inner reality as the breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative energy experience to breathing as I have only used my breathe to work on stopping the mind and everything I have judged as the mind as negative and bad and wrong, and so I have also judged the breathing as a implication of I must be in the wrong now as I need to focus on breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a judgment/experience to breathing that creates and generate fear and anxiety within me the whole time as I belief I am only now breathing because I am fucked or will be fucked or that I am bad, instead of breathing to actually in fact be here out of the mind and as the physical reality, where I am aware of everything here as me, that I can be aware of a fly on the wall.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself breathing only to generate inner experiences to stop and realize I am not breathing as breathing isn’t a focus on the mind as a mind focus and that breathing is breathing here as the physical.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself breathing to stop a thought and the thought does not stop here instantly, that I am not breathing but actually in breathe only focusing on the thought and thus keeping the thought here, as breathing is a physical act where a thought can come and simply in a single breath go, as the breathe is a breathe and not a focus on the thoughts/feeling/emotion.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself within a energetic experience of myself of emotion/feeling/thought and I am breathing to breathe through the experience and the experience isn’t stopping but continue, to see and realize for myself that my breathing is actually giving/participating in the experience as a mind breathing, and so to BREATH here as the physical where I breath all LIFE here and breathe myself our into life as life as to make that the actual focus of my breathing here.