Expectations and Blame - Self Forgiveness

 

Expectations is strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Blame is to assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a state of expectation that things in my life and within this world will get better - without me having to do anything practical or real that directs my life and things in this world to be better. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that if I live in a state of expectations within me towards anything, that I am also create BLAME. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate RESPONSability by living in a state of expectations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SIT in my mind and THINK about things I want to happen and then to create false realities within myself based on expectations, either from others or the world. and so if those realities within me does not manifest, or they do not happen, I then turn to BLAME as a way to assign responsibility to others as being wrong and at fault for those realities to not have manifested. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the  world to work for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT others to understand me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT when I do something that it MUST work immediately, or I will see no point in doing it and just give up. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the world as the system to CARE about me or my family, when I have not done anything to care myself by actually putting work in to change the world to a place of CARE. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT things from others that I only think about of within my mind and never actually making the effort to talk and communicate with them, and so within that when things do not work out, I end up blaming them and putting them at fault. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen,realized and understood how expectations lead to inactivity, and so into blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectation, where just like with any believe, I will sit back and do nothing except expect. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create points of bLAME within my life towards others and attack them for expectations I had within me towards them and what I expected from them, never communicating/talking or even do the work and efforts in my life to create what it is I want. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that even if I communicate what I want/need etc with others, that I still can not create expectations, as I can only work with the physical reality and the results in the living that is here, anything else is a mind job that will end up in blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD in my mind others hostage within expectations that I have of them or towards them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself hostage to the expectations I place onto others within me, where I now have this voice in my head that secretly blame others or give them the fault for things not working or moving as I EXPECT within me, thus I see and realize I must drop all expectations, as I drop all blame and to take self responsibility living in reality with what is here to direct each day within each breathe as what is best for all. 

 

Blame Self-Forgiveness

Blame Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is validity in blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT understand blame, the construct of blame, what blame really is, yet use it , spread it around like normal, as if it is simply a normal thing to do, to place everything outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEED the mind consciousness system of BLAME through not only participating in it consciously, but to live it without question sub-consciously and unconsciously in my daily living in small and big situations as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize that when and as another person, thing or situation comes into my mind when I am looking at a point in my life, when I am looking at my life, my situation in life, my circumstances in life, that the very fact that something else came up first instead of me asking myself questions, looking at myself first, I am already blaming, deflecting, taking self-responsibility away from myself and making something/someone else a target to blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR owning myself, my actions, my words, my deeds, my thoughts, even when two or more is involved in a situation, my life or in this world, as all is connected, yet I am always responsible for me and who i am within me and thus can not be blamed onto someone else, as that resolves nothing but only creates cycles of blame and victims forevermore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create MORALITY within what BLAME is or what is it NOT, where in my mind I go into the polarity of, OK so I must never confront, or stand up or take a stand for something to stop blaming, or I must keep blaming and can not stop blaming until that something else is sorted, where I am now again accessing a polarity, instead of seeing and realizing that ACTION does not require BLAME or a polarity, it does not require SIDES, it simply requires self to be silence within, and to stand within what is BEST for ALL as a principle of guidance, as I as self stopped blame, and so I do not see sides, I only see me, who I am and who I am standing as what is best for all life, no matter the situation, I must be clear to have a clear new direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to CREATE polarity out of everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself FEED off BLAME, to FEEL powerful within blaming, especially when my BLAME game is top stuff, where I can win and over power another with my blame, where my arguments are logical, it makes sense and forces the other person to change, but I get away with remaining the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY pointing fingers in all directions as BLAME, pointing out everything, all the details, all the points for the others to see, so that I point so much that in the end I point out the eyes of the other person and all they can see is their BAD evil sins, how they are responsible for everything and that I am such a victim, I do not have to do anything, they must now do everything and they have NO way of pointing anything back at me, as I have made sure, with all the POINTING of fingers they were blinded to see my shit, and eventually even not I can see my own shit anymore, and so can not see, they are overwhelmed with what was pointed out, so I am safe, I can get away, I am okay, I made it, I can now just again sit and do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how and when I react to another person, I am BLAMING, and so not seeing and realizing how INSTANT blame is activated and how instantly we place ourselves/myself in a victim state, where someone else can MAKE me experience something, and so I get frustrated, hate, angry, irritated, name it all towards that person, and so in essence saying, YOU made me experience that, you are to blame, you made me do it, not taking full responsibility for the fact that what I experience and that comes up within ME is inherently mine/ours, as it came from within self/me and nowhere else, the other person, people simply showed me what exist within me already, which is the point I must deal with, stop and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the LIVING and acting of blame within myself, my environment and how I conduct myself daily within who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how LIVING blame isn’t a conscious decision, but rather a living action in my patterns and habits, where I live in a consistent state of blaming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to be in a MOOD is a living form of blame. Where I will live in a mood, how I feel, towards my environment as if I am saying/telling my environment YOU are the problem, LOOK how I am experiencing myself, and so within this living action dictate my day, my time, my environment to be that of being against me, attacking me, not working for me, nothing is right, placing myself in a consistent state of being a victim within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I am moved/directed by my environment in ways that places me in a mood, a reaction, a friction within me, that I am within a BLAMING personality, where I am literally walking around, waiting for something to activate me to react towards, to go into a state of blaming, being angry at someone or something, feeling that I am not considered or taken into account, like whatever is happening has always happened and at this point I am not the problem anymore but everyone else is, and so access that mind set where I start attacking my environment, the people, the things, the circumstances and making everything a problem outside of me, not seeing and realizing that it all comes from within me and I am forcing what exist within me onto my environment as blame, instead of seeing, OK, this is a repeating pattern, or something that keeps happening, and what is the coincidence that it always happens with ME, I must obviously be the point of origin and need to look at what I must change and take responsibility for, take action for in a directive way that correct and aligns points to what is best for all, such as communicate, talk, find practical solutions and come to agreements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as a way to justify my actions, my responses, my movements as my habits and patterns that I am struggling with to change, instead of admitting what I am struggling with and changing that part.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to ASK for help due to feeling that I am all alone, that I have no one that can understand me or give me the right guidance, and so already go into BLAME, where I blame everyone else for not understanding me, not seeing me, not being able to support me if I need support in the right way, and so already enhance a cycle that will never end unless I end it, till i stand up from it and take self-responsibility, as I see and realize that within such a cycle, dis-empower EVERYONE and myself and so make nothing possible for myself or anyone, except to be LAME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize how deep BLAME goes, where I will LIVE blame in such a way that I can not even see it, I am it, it is me as a living entity and I can reason and justify myself as blame to such an extent that I can make myself and other believe that what I am saying is TRUTH, as I will take common points of self-victimization that I know exist within myself and others and so use it to create a massive bubble of blame, where the problems in my life and their lives suddenly are external, it suddenly is outside of themselves and so it must be true, because look, we can all agree on it, and so within this, the self interest that I gain is simple, to not have to change who I am, I may remain the same and in my bubble of being victim, where I do not have to really do any work, self work, where I do not have to focus on WHO I AM, as I have now externalized the problem to such an extent that to even try and now move back inwards it will seem as if I am betraying everyone else, and even feel so for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the easy way out where I can just BLAME everyone and everything around me, before even looking inwards, before looking within myself and asking myself basic questions, did I do everything in my power, my creative mind to change myself, to see where I can change and what i can change, did I put in the steps to change, the WILL to change, and if i can tick off all of those boxes in full self-honesty, then may I question the outside and get feedback and so work first inwards and then outwards, as I see and realize to work outwards first can and will create a trap where moving back inwards can become impossible to even see, as I lose myself in the mess I create and that can be created within BLAMING

When the world isn’t changing blame the world, Day 10 of 21 – Day 595

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame people, the world for not seeing common sense and within self-honesty that they can be the change that is necessary, seeing and realizing that I am externalizing this point onto others, and thus not taking the point back to self, and so as I see others do not change, I get discouraged, I feel more dis-empowered and as if chances for change is even less, and so I Blame others for how I am starting to experience myself and thus how I am living and acting in response to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o dis-empower myself through what see others are doing within falling and no standing as the solution and to within this Blame others for my stance, what I stand for and to be the living example, to compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put hope in others to stand and to stand one and equal with me and to place my stance on this hope, and so as I see others fall and go off track I lose hope and within losing this hope I compromise my stance, and attempt to compensate for others and so as I attempt to compensate I start blaming other people for my burden being even more, and thus I see and realize that I am attempting to carry the responsibility of others on me and so when I feel burdened and like giving up, I blame others, yet I am the one who placed the burden onto myself and compromised my stance and thus lost my stance, and so also go on to blame others for me losing my stance, and thus I see and realize that I cannot blame, as all my actions was my decisions, following fear and paranoia and thus showed me that I wasn’t standing actually from the beginning, and so this gives me the opportunity to reflect and to take self-responsibility once again and to stop the creation of the blame game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me being discouraged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope in others and to even participate within hope and thus lose touch with reality and with my own process, my own standing as an example, as I am looking outward instead of inward and what stands here as me and that this stance must stand and be able to stand alone for eternity, even when no one else stands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalize my standing and to make it dependent on others, realizing that I must stand with others and that with others this process of global change is the only possible way, yet those that come and go in the meantime should not change my standing through values I have placed on certain people and their standing and what it means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE no hope within this world and to within this create hope of illusions within my daily living where I place hope in how I see others stand and move and direct, and thus when such a person dies or disappears I suddenly am faced with myself and seeing and realizing that I haven’t yet in fact fully been living as the example I would like to see within this world as change and so become dishearten, discouraged and the possibility for me to fall becomes even greater and so I blame others and yet here I stand as the example of why others failed and thus I never stood myself as the example for why others can and must stand. So I see and realize I must change my stance, realign my principles, and check my starting point, how I go here, why I am here, and what is the FIRE within me doing this for me and all life, as I see I have forgotten though externalizing myself and living in a Blame game that made me LAME and thus unable to effectively move and direct myself.

Day 566 - Blame, Be Lame, be I may Lame, May I be Lame

After reading A widows Journey to life blog – Day 686 - http://awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2016/03/day-686-revisiting-blame-realizing.html I decided to take a look at the word BLAME for myself.

Blame – this is quite a Big word for a small word, I find that this word has not been in my vocabulary much, in terms of looking at myself and this reality. I find that when I see this word it has become a LIVING as who I am – I will for instance not say – I blame you, you are to blame, they are to blame, I will use different words and speak sentences that becomes BLAME towards someone or something, and even worse, I actually then behave and act BLAME – but I never say the word Blame, speaking it.

Dictionary definition
1.
assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
1.
responsibility for a fault or wrong.

Those are two simple definition, one is giving blame and the other is taking Blame.
My word Play with Breaking it up and sounding.

Blame
Be Lame
Be Lame Me
Be lame am me
be I may Lame,
May I be Lame

OK so before I get into it – this word I find is a System word, meaning it shows a System/construct – but I do not find within it a sounding or wording that can be lived from it as a correction, as a word that I can or want to implement to LIVE, as it is literally just lame to blame, so I will deconstruct this word so that I can Identify within my speaking and behavior where I am living the word blame and to then correct myself from there within implementing a new word to live, thus changing my speaking and thus my behavior/patterns/habits.

Blame refers to the past, we can’t really blame something or someone for things that hasn’t yet happened, so the first question is, why do we want to BLAME? Is it to be Lame, to dis-empower ourselves, because the word Lame in itself exist and has a specific meaning.

1. Lame: 1.
make (a person or animal) lame.
"somebody lamed him with a stone"

So through Blaming are we throwing stones at ourselves? When we believe within blaming that we are somehow empowering ourselves, because all I can see one gets from Blaming is, is to sound good, sound right, sound reasonable, sound just, have Logic – all those points are required to blame – yet when we do that we totally dis-empower ourselves and do not even slightly look at ourselves, in fact, we create a specific Veil that forms around us when in the process of Blaming that even the people that are being blamed seem like the Blamer is on the right side. which is what a Blamer wants, they do nt want to be show how they are responsible equally and created the cause and the effect that led to blaming.

BUT – what does blaming expose about a person or self? When you blame the fact is you need a lot of evidence to proof your blaming, so when I or you come forth with BLAMING it only reveals something about myself or yourself, that we sat on the side and we watch everything happening in front of us and we did absolutely nothing and expected those who are doing something to do exactly what we wanted, yet never stood up to participate, which shows one thing, the Blamer is only speaking up when it is to late, and thus the blamer, self NEVER acted or did anything to prevent, starting with themselves, and thus when a person is Blaming, they are speaking from an Observer perspective who wanted something specific for themselves but wanted others to do it, then it didn’t happen, so here the blamer become someone that only exist as knowledge and information that as that point in time when blaming takes place, all the knowledge and information is useless, because it was needed before the blaming started not afterwards.

I am covering a lot of dimensions, I can see there are many levels of blaming on how to cover this word, so I am placing it in general, where I can take this information to my own relationship I have with myself, with others, with the world and see the creation of Blaming and how it is actually showing the LAMENESS – to be lame, and to be lame can either be since Birth (which we all are, because of brainwashing and how we are educated) or if we have the brains we simply decide to Lame ourselves and place responsibility on others, so we are essentially throwing stones at ourselves to not be able to move/direct/speak common sense within self-honesty in the moments when it is needed and to not let it become BLAME = too late.

So the correction is Self-responsibility and to not make the focus OTHERS but self-First always as the correction – I will place a Video Link in here of a Hangout I did on Self-responsibility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIYOSyIKedo
 

Day – 48 – bad boy continued.

This is a continuation of Day 47 – loving the bad boy

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when someone judges me as bad that it does not mean I am bad and therefore must now live as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I accept someone else calling me bad that I am actually not bad until I go out and do physical things in my life and create myself as bad deliberately within my actions, and thus it is not the other person to blame as I am clearly self responsible for my own actions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the bad boy personality is just another personality that I have created myself through my own self judgments and insecurities.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I went out and started living differently within acting out in life against the system as being bad within spitefulness that I was actually only harming myself as I set myself on the path of self destruction, instead of realizing that the system is fucked up and the current limited way of life where society imposes good and bad onto people through their own self created believes and idea on what is good and bad instead of living what is best for all life and thus instead realizing that I must be self honest and change the god damn system to what is best for all life and to not accept and allow a system that is fear based and judgmental towards life as normal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the bad boy act/personality was part of my ticket to getting sex as I learned that girls like bad boys and so I pursuit in my journey of self destruction to fulfill one desire of obtaining sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that being a bad boy to spite others is actually me spiting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the bad boy live just happened to me, suppressing and denying all the actions I took within the physical as living and creating events situations to have certain experiences to upgrade myself to a bad boy as where I made it part of me, and thus it did not just happen to me, I am responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe I am a victim within who I am and become through my own actions that I take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within my actions as if I cannot stop myself as if I am forced to do the thing si do as the bad boy, realizing that I can simply stop and change as I am the one moving and directing myself to do the things I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the excitement of being a bad boy, realizing that the energy as excitement that I get from doing the bad boy things will run out and that I will seek it like a drug addict seeking his next hit, and that this will lead to me doing more and more extreme things that would lead to consequences that will harm me and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the physical consequences I am creating for myself and others within trying to be a bad boy in spitefulness towards those tat has judged me as bad, realizing that I am only harming myself in spite of the evidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to break down relationships in my world and hurting others through my actions as being a bad boy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a asshole as the ad boy act personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  gossip about other people and being nasty to them just to keep up the bad boy act as being better more and less limited as a self created believe based on the idea I have created about myself as being a bad ass, realizing I am only placing my judgments as gossip and my insecurities on others and projecting myself on them to hide my own shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a jerk towards my fellow humans and animals and plants in the name of being s spiteful shit through not taking self responsibility for myself and who I am, and giving away myself responsibility to accept and allow others to influence me as who i am and live it out in blame and self pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately abuse girls as the excuse of I am a bad boy – you should have expected it from me, realizing that I am within this only creating more consequences for myself as I break people and relationship around me till I am all alone and fucked within this world, realizing I created it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through drinking and drugs and fighting and doing crazy stunts to show off in the name of being a bad boy, realizing the physical consequences has a high price and then the bad boy will be a useless bag of meat at a early age or older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in secret as a pretentious bad boy and to be a pretentious ass in front of others never finding out who I really am, as I decide who I am and not giving myself this chance through constantly feeding polarities on both ends missing myself completely.

I commit myself to look within my life where I access the bad boy personality and to see why, to write and to self forgive myself and to stop, to end the abuse caused within my world through spitefulness and blame and to take self responsibility as myself and to bring about a world that is best for all life and not what is based on stupid made up rules of right and wrong, but rather what is practical and best for all life (plants, animals, humans etc) and to stop the creation of mental unstable humans that has split personalities in secret and in front of others and create mental disorders that the medical industries and psychologist make billions off.

I commit myself to expose the current believes and rules of the world as it exist now as not being what is best for all life or any individual as it is based on fear and right and wrong and not what is best for all life as common sense but on stupid make believe ideas/opinions that is based on self interest and imprinted into the children and then play out as mental disorders where the child is constantly in a fight for what is write and what is wrong instead of real values and principles that is best for all life in all ways, thus establishing the equal money system is the path as the common sense system.