Day 535 – Money has defined me, being self-honest

What has been seen as one of the major factors in my life as a limitation, I would say money? All my life I have had only a lack of money, never abundance, and I do believe that most people in this world has this physical limitation. 

To start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my environment determines MY limitations and what I can do or not do, seeing and realizing that Who I am within my environment determines my limitation or my expansion.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the only real limitations that exist is actual physical limitations, such as not having a car to drive somewhere, or not having certain resources available within my environment, but that WHO I AM within the environment can decide to move myself beyond perceived limitations that are of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse real limitations and mind limitations as one and the same thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other within my environment for the perceived limitations that I am experiencing due to how I interact or experience myself around others, seeing and realizing that this is an experience within ME that is limiting ME and my expression and not about the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that limitation of and as the mind as blame/judgements and abdicating self-responsibility for my actions that enforce limitation can be changed and through simply changing my mind and who I am within a moment of slowing down and physically assessing and checking what is here and that needs to be done.
Money Point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect who I am as an expression of myself to the amount of money I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to go into a state of mind of retraction within my expression when and as there is little money available within my reality to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only expand and express myself if there is a lot of money within my reality/environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an expression of insecurity within myself and within my reality if there is little money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to explode and express myself fully only if there is a certain amount of money within my reality that makes me feel secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on money in terms of my expression as who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep to myself and to pull myself into myself and hide my expression when and as I am in fear of survival due to how “little” money I have, seeing and realizing that money does in fact play a role in how I can move myself within my reality and my well-being, yet who I am as an expression is independent of money if I have it or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I change within who I am dependant on how much money I have or do not have, and within allowing myself to admit this point within me I can see what who I am is still of the mind as a preprogramed personality design that is dependent on an outside force to define me/who I am.

Who will I be if I am starving and will die of starvation?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I will be if I had to live in a state of starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and be ignorant to look at reality and what is here and till what extend MONEY has defined who I am, taking it to the extreme of removing money from my life and seeing the physical consequences that I will face within such a position and who I will be within such a situation, to face myself within self-honesty and to stand within such a position within oneness and equality within MYSELF, not physically going out and experiencing this, as that is unnecessary at this stage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I had to starve on the streets as many others do in this world, that who I am at this moment will change and thus confirming that I have not yet taken full self-responsibility for myself as this reality and who I am as part of the creation of this reality where money decides everything, from who eats to who can express themselves and who can’t, and thus IF I do not stand within self-honesty, where I see I have money and I have the time and I have the resources to take a stand within this reality to bring actual change within this reality then I will most probably have to face the consequences one and equal to what I stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it for granted the money and position I have currently within this reality whereas billions of others DO not in fact have the same as me to do the same as me and to take a stand to change this reality, and IF I abuse this position to NOT stand then LIFE as me by my permission as my actions will place me in the position to see and realize all others parts of me and what I have accepted and allowed for all the others parts of me to exist one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that Money buys Time literally, and as long as I have the time I have the money to do something this life TIME to stand up for all the others parts of me that exist in this reality within inequality and suffering, that do not have the time and thus the money to do anything, thus as a body, I must take the position/responsibility as the immune system, where I focus all my time/energy/money to heal the parts of me that is suffering, or the whole body will collapse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LET fear in the name of not having enough or not having a lot of money decide my actions within what is HERE as my current reality where I can within self-honesty see that I am in a position to walk within breathe and to take a stand in each and every moment as long as I am breathing within the position I have and to not fall for the Idea of the future and what MIGHT be or not, and to realize me here and that each breath counts and who I am within each and every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the trap of the MIND where the mind wants to be more than reality and NOT do what is necessary to live in this world, which is making money and working certain hours to do so, and making that Burden a MIND limitation where one acts and lives the MIND limitation of the physical limitation that has been placed onto self by a fucked up system, instead of seeing and realizing that one has a Job or work that is more than what billions of others can say, thus one has money and TIME do something to bring change to this world, as money speaks Louder than words in a world where screaming has been ignored and denied for as long as this has been going on, and we can make our expressions independent of the system that is a JOB for money from 9 to 5, our expressions does NOT have to be limited as the system is, our expressions is what will bring change, and we cannot fall for the MIND limitations that we make ourselves belief of being victims of a system we are part of and have created and entertained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a factor in my expression, instead of using money to my advantage to bring change to this world, to take authority where it is least expected and to stand up and make the choice, take a leap of faith, what are we waiting for? For the system to magically change and support us to change this world? It’s not going to happen.

We must take authority and reach for the top even when we are placed at the bottom of a slave system. This is where we stop the slave preprogramed system of money and the effects it has on us. To move beyond it.

Day 519 – What I learned from Bernard Poolman – Lesson 9

When I came to the Farm back in 2008 in June, I brought with me R700 as pocket money. This was money I worked for, I earned it the hard way, I used to be a waiter, and I always tried to get double shifts to make extra money, so to me this last R700 was a lot of money.

Every time I open my wallet, I would look through my notes (money) just to generate this feeling of freedom and security within me, it made me feel like I have power, I have free will and choice.
After the first two weeks on the farm, all my money was gone, it was finished – I smoked back then, so smokes and essentials took my money quickly.

So, suddenly I had NO money, I had this consistent fear/anxiety within me regarding my stance within this world and who I am. I felt powerless and bound, basically the opposite to how I felt when I had money.

So I learned a lot of lessons quickly – first of all I realized I have NO idea what money is and how it works, I do not even know the value of money, I mean, I saw R700 as a lot, what does that reveal about my training from home and school regarding money, once I hit the real world by myself – POOF my money is gone, see my parents used to buy almost everything for me, and I used to only use my money for partying and my own entertainment. This quickly changed.

So in my crisis of having no money, I had a discussion with Bernard – Bernard said that I can stay and live on the farm if I work on the farm, do labor and maintenance as a start, and for this a room is provided, food is provided and reasonable comfortable life, plus pocket money, all basics will be met and a little bit more. I agreed to this with a massive smile – Because I LOVE physical work, I enjoy it, I live for it, so here I was able to do what I enjoy and have no worry about my basics being met – But Bernard added in, everything you see here and what we are building, comes from money that I made, I worked my ass off to start this and so that we can fucking change this world (with my dad present still at this time)

So here I was, with nothing, no money, and there is Bernard the complete opposite – my mind was blown once again, as my idea about money got changed very quickly.

One man worked his ass off, for many years in a business that he started, then stopped it, changed his course in life 180 degrees and have enough money to start a movement that will change the world forever. Even allow others from all over the world to come and visit and stay here for months and even years, being supported by the farm, by money Bernard made in the past – but every person that came/comes here, came/comes with a purpose, as the purpose of the farm was/is to support and assist as many as possible and to create a centered point for this movement that IS global, as a foundation and stability point.

But Bernard said, the only way to test if the people that start walking their process and that commit to changing this world to a place that is best for all life is and will be REAL in fact, is if the money I have created to start all of this runs out, and that this (Desteni) and all its branches continues by each and every individuals self-honest participation and understanding of how money works. If not then at least we know we have removed those that pretend and didn’t mean to change anything.

Back then it was kind of confusing what Bernard said, but after his money ran out and after his death – Desteni is still here, alive and moving forward by the will and participation of dozens/hundreds of individuals around the world. Now that’s what you can call real growth. I mean it must be proven in the physical.

It’s like removing the training wheels from a child’s bike and the child just continues driving – the development from there on is limitless.

I learned that Money is required to do anything and to bring change to this world, without it I will only be begging for change on the corner of a street – I also learned that R700 is NOTHING, I require at least 700 Billion to really impact this world.

I also learned that it is about HOW I use money, is it for what is best for all life in support of all life, or just for my entertainment, that’s the value I give the money, I can spend R20 here on smokes and R50 on sweets and R70 on a pizza, Or I can spend that money on supporting life and I will see the Value of the money suddenly meaning something more than my entertainment – because as long as money remains a point of entertainment within my mind, for my own self-interest, the value of money will always seem like nothing, but the moment I am seeing the value of money as the key to changing this world, Money suddenly has a value far beyond my own self-interest. And thus I will stop aiming for just the next pay check to buy smokes or candy or a drink, but to push myself to make millions/billions as it will contribute to changing this world. My aim naturally goes to LIFE.

As long as I do not understand money and how to deal/work with it and the effects ever cent has, I will always be a slave to money and my self-interest points towards it, looking at money as only a source for consumption for self-interest.

I also learned that as long as I live in scarcity towards money as my relationship towards money I will hold on to money and start having less and less – as I become self-preservative instead of expanding and promoting abundance within myself and not fear/stress – as who I am within/towards money starts reflecting in my reality. Because when we live in fear of not having money we start to spend our money stupid and can’t seem to see where it goes.

NO matter what, I must have NO feelings or emotions towards money – I must always stand in self-honesty and common sense within and towards money within myself and see it for what it actually is and to make decision with money that is always best for all life, promoting growth and expansion that is best for all life.

Day 518 – What I learned from Bernard Poolman – Lesson 8

In the beginning of my process I had many struggles, but like all guys in the system, our minds are wired and intertwined with and for sex, so this was an obvious point I was facing in my reality.

The point in relation to sex wasn’t just sex, but with what “type” of girls I would like to have sex with.
So me going into an agreement back then, my first Agreement and still my one and only agreement (smiles) – I had to face many points within my agreement with my partner, especially sex.
So the point I faced within sex was the “image” point – as my partner didn’t meet the Image of my MIND and what my mind wanted and find stimulating.

So sex within my agreement wasn’t nessasarely flowing, as the image I needed to stimulate me for sex wasn’t met.

So this became a depressing point within me, and within my agreement, and it was quit noticeable.
So one day, Bernard walked into my room while I was sitting by my computer – and he just asked as usual, what’s up, and I as usual said, oh nothing much (me assuming Bernard is asking me what I am physically doing) and thus giving a response to what I assume. Then Bernard out of the blue started talking to me about what is attraction, what is an Image – my mind was blown, WOW, how did Bernard know to talk about this point, like I haven’t mentioned anything, in fact I made it a point within myself to hide it and make sure Bernard does not see it lol.

But he did, and in a quick few moment Bernard asked me straight forward, IS that which you are attracted to within women truly your Decision? I paused for a moment and I said, NO within self-honesty, Because I looked at the question of is it truly my decision, and all I could see within my mind was Media/porn/TV/magazines and influences from men/males that has gone before me.

And then Bernard asked me straight forward again – so where does your LIKES and DISLIKES come form towards women then? And I said well, magazines/TV/porn/media etc

Then Bernard said to me – so it is clearly not YOU that made the decision of what you like, NOW realize that if you see this, you still have that decision to make – just look at when you were a child, even a baby – there was NO judgment and enjoyment in playfulness was possible with anyone, no matter their size or shape.

So within sex, you can really decide in every moment what you like, you can as a suggestion decide to LIKE all shapes and sizes, NO limitation, NO judgments – then you can truly enjoy yourself – isn’t that actually the only decision you can make.

After Bernard said all that, my mind was still blown, so simple YET so fucking true, the common sense is staggering, the self-honesty is so simple and direct – how could I not have seen this before.
Then Bernard said, to support yourself to walk through the point of falling for the attractions of the mind, imagine everyone as skeletons, realize that if the flesh is removed what remains is skeleton, and if everyone is a skeleton, how would you make a decision on what you like or dislike, you can’t, you simple walk what is best for all and enjoy yourself.

This moment took like 5min, and it changed my life forever – I realized I can decide, and I said fuck media and all the past influences, I want to enjoy myself, I got angry for a moment at the system for all the bullshit influences that has limited and screwed with all my relationships for such a long time, but I realized soon enough I was just angry at myself, took a breath and moved on, I was now in the authority point of just enjoying myself in sex as a physical expression, it took practice and time, but it was fun and I got over any and all other attraction that would usually have distracted me or that was needed to stimulate me, now what was my stimulation was ME – physical touch and breathing, not the form of a body size or image.

Day 517 – more on the point of expectation/expectations

Let’s start with basics

after the basics of showing how expectations are in literally everything and behind our every belief/Idea/opinion and that it isn’t good or bad, remove that motion, this is about understanding the point, and then I will get to the creational point where expectations INSIDE ourselves in our immediate reality/moment create the moment realities without us even knowing it or being fully aware of the secret shit.

Every belief is an expectation
Every opinion is an expectation
Every Idea is an expectation

Isn’t it?

It cannot be that way, it is impossible – a belief is a belief, an opinion is an opinion, an Idea is an Idea – really?

Quickly belief something or in something - Obviously the reason behind the belief is to expect something?

Quickly have an opinion for me - Obviously the reason for an opinion is the expect something; why else do you have the opinion? Don’t tell me just to have an opinion, you are expectation to win or to gain or to feel or something.

Quickly have an Idea for me (about ANYTHING) – now obviously you are having an Idea with an expectation behind it, why else do you have the idea, just to have an idea?

Let’s go a bit deeper – I have an opinion about smoking is bad – first of all is it an opinion or a fact? – if you claim it is a fact then you are also expecting something from that fact, if it is an opinion then obviously you are expecting something from that opinion – either way you are expecting something for why you say for example smoking is bad or not bad – you are expecting something, either it means you can smoke and it reliefs you from dreadful thoughts on what the smoke might do to your lungs – well there is your expectation for having for example an opinion on why smoking isn’t bad – if you go with that it is a fact that smoking is bad, well you are expecting for example for others to now stop smoking and look to you for example as being an example of the one knowing better and their “facts” so to say.

Let’s look at belief – I belief that there is a god – this should be quite obvious what the expectations are, either go to heaven or go to hell, those are the two expectations – or another belief rather – I belief that this person in front of me is short, the expectation obviously is that you now expect others to see you are tall or taller, why else would you have a random belief of someone being short, or it the person in fact short? I mean fact or belief, there is an expectation, if the person is in fact short, then you must as yourself in comparison to what? 7 billion other people all being different in size? So what’s the expectation from such a fact, well I expect myself to be considered tall then and not as short, therefore I am better – the expectation being “I am better” or perhaps I am more lucky.

Now lets look at Ideas – I have an Idea, lets change the world – well that expectation is pretty obvious, the expectation it a better world – I have an idea about how to build a car port better, with the expectation obviously being that the car port will be better – Ideas is quit an easy one, every single Idea leads to an expectation.

SO the major question then remains, what is behind the expectation, why do we have beliefs or Ideas or opinions about or over any and everything – but more importantly – how does expectations for example determine how you pick up a spoon to eat your cereal, how your expectations literally can influence and create physical vents and manifestation in your immediate reality, ones that you aren’t even aware of.

Stay tuned for the next Blog going in deeper.

Day 516 – One word changed my life

For the past three weeks I have walked this point every single day – I have successfully incorporated and still doing so one word that has changed my life in the most unexpected ways. I will convey this in this blog and perhaps you can do the same.

Before I give you the word, I need to first say the following: ALL my life I have lived in fear, I have blamed fear and I have believed fear to be the one thing that keeps me back that is creating my world and thus not creating what I actually want to create, because fear is just there around every corner – so it seems that fear is the culprit.

BUT – never have I really looked at what is behind fear, what is there behind fear pushing fear in front of my eyes and inside of me, I mean fear doesn’t just happen, it is something that is created.
So one day I was just looking at this point in a moment with my son, it really took me a moment to breath and to really see inside of myself, my son was about to do something that was deemed wrong or not good from inside my mind as what I was programmed with – so I was preparing myself to stop my son, to say NO – and what happened? Exactly what I EXPECTED from my son.

There is the word – EXPECTATIONS/expect

SO I noticed this moment in slow motion, I truly lived it and I was present in the participation of it, But I did not say stop or no, I instead talked to my son about what is happening. But this story isnt the point, it is the realization the moment of clarity that I had and opened up my reality to a whole new level of interaction.

EXPECTATIONS

Before you have any reaction or any fear you first have an expectation within yourself, a thought, a memory – then the fear backs it up, making it so real, fear is like the reinforcement of the expectation. It will happen, most expectations do not happen that you are having consciously, but it is the unconscious one, these are the ones I am looking at, breathing slowly and catching them, taking a moment to see what’s really underneath, and they are all about YOU and what you can practically live and do, not about what the next lotto ticket is or who will win a soccer game.

Expectation is simply the word that describe this, it is the word that you can hold inside of yourself throughout your day and see how you are creating your day EXACTLY as you are expecting it to be, no more and no less – then you have two polarities that back the expectation up, reinforce it, either a positive or a negative, the fear or the love, without the expectation there is nothing the fear or love can latch onto, so then it is just simply you have breathing and dealing with HERE.

I have now taken the word expectation and I have applied it within every moment of my day as a cross reference – when I wake up, what is my first expectation of the morning/day – when I start moving and doing things, it is literally everywhere and I have now seen for myself, what I expect is what I get/create – unfortunately I am like everyone else programmed mostly in the negative and polarized by a positive, so it usually jumps between the two, I simply have to see my creation process in between and I am using the word expectation to highlight each and every moment to show my.

What is expectation, it is the past reoccurring literally, you expect it you create it, and it’s always the past, so it is always reinforced by fear.

So let me make it more clear, why use the word expectation/expectations to reflect and see the point, take a look, whatever you do or before you do it, there is behind the fear an expectation/expectations, and if you take each expectation it is as if you are opening up a story book, you can see what is going to happen and when and where and what characters must be involved and how the interactions must take place and then what the outcome will be as expected. Basically you can already SEE within your expectation the LINE of creation that you are about to live and this gives you the insight to change, stop and realize your expectation is literally creating what is happening or what is going to happen you have already written the story within the expectation.

So just for one day, wake up and hold the word expectation within you, and see what it reveals in each moment and see how you can decide from there on NOT to live that expectation and change. Using breathing common sense and self-honesty always within what is best for all life.

This is why the world isn’t changing, because we all have secretly already created the expectation that the world is going to end, and just look at it, we are literally living that expectation, I mean how can you live anything else than what you are expecting. So do not focus too much on fear, it is what is behind the fear as the expectation that needs addressing.

Day 241 – Trusting the Intelligent people looking after the human race Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that there are people looking after the human race and the planet we live on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are intelligent people that will say when we must stop what we are doing on earth when they see it is time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue living my life here on earth as being normal within the belief that as long as the intelligent people of this world do not say stop to me or the rest of the world that everything must be okay and I can continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are people out there checking everything we are doing and that they will say STOP and that we must change when they see it is time and that before that happens I am okay and con continue living my life as if it is normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that there is no intelligent people sitting somewhere monitoring what we are doing and that will say stop when the time is ready, as we all can see we have already gone too far and nothing is being said about US that has to change, we are all simply accepting and allowing to continue destroying our earth believing we are not because there is no intelligent person saying anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the governments running the countries that run the world knows what they are doing and as long as they are not raising voice or concern we are okay and may continue abusing earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be raise in school and in life by the adults to believe that the authorities always knows best and will always speak up when it is a matter of importance, seeing and realizing that this is not so and that everything is about money so no one will speak up even in the face of our planets extinction that we are causing ourselves because that would mean losing money and power for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the life I am living in the current world to be normal just because no one intelligent is saying otherwise, seeing and realizing that within this I am abdicating my own common sense and self honesty to someone else to have the power over me and to be subject to their words as if it is always truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that everything happening on earth such as the oil usage and deforestation and ocean pollution and over fishing is being monitored by intelligent people with power and that only once they say something will it mean that we must stop and change, seeing and realizing that it is not happening and everyone is waiting for this higher intelligence to tell us to change while we can clearly see the abuse without them and to simply continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that there is no higher intelligent humans looking over us and that we are living in a monstrous system that is swallowing itself whole because there is no one driving this train and no one has ever bothered to check the driving seat and have only thus far trusted that there is someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we are all on a train ride in this world and that we are all stuck in the idea that someone is driving this train because we know that should be common sense, yet no one bothers to check and simply HOPE that it is so and within this continue the ride as if everything will be okay, seeing and realizing that the train ride must stop somewhere as it started somewhere, but there is no one to put the brakes and we all will simply continue into our own doom of ignorance and blissfulness.

To be continued.

Day 240 – Hope

Check out my Video on Hope as-well - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjTLuIIQptM

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that hope makes me blind to see what is here as reality as the facts and that no amount of hope can change that, as hope is literally the opposite of actually doing something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hope just to make me feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the face of facts and reality place my trust in hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that hope literally doesn’t change anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that participating in hope is giving myself false ideas/beliefs about what is here and what is happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within hope with the intent to not to have to see what is here in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that hope is blinding myself deliberately to that which is here, because I know what is here and that is what I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within feeling and making myself feel/belief that I am powerless and cannot do anything about that which is here on earth to instead of doing something create hope as a way to hide the fear and make myself feel better about myself instead.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the moment I have hope I became paralyzed and Blind to see what is here and to do anything as one moment of hope will delete any and all realizations of the facts and that we need to change as hope gives the illusion that there is still time and that there is still lots of ways to get out of the shit we are in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that hope is a very dangerous thing to play with as it makes people as myself believe that we do not have to change and can still exist as we do as there is till hope apparently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that hope is a myth and not something real, as hope is implying within itself that we are not responsible and may abuse as we please because there is always a way back, not seeing and realizing that as long as hope exist we will always hope and never change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the stupidity of hoping, as hoping is saying – I can randomly do stuff even if there are practical ways to do stuff that will give results that is based on mathematical equations that can be determined - but freely choose not to do so and instead HOPE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that HOPE is a form of laziness, because instead of taking the practical time within space to do the math and to apply the math and to then live the math it is to instead skip all of that and go on hope within whatever I/you/we do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I was taught to hope instead of prevent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attaches a positive energy to the word hope s that I can get a good feeling from hoping and get addicted to hope all in the name of energy and consuming the energy of hope, because hope is like playing a daredevil game of chance that can always go either way that creates fear interpreted as excitement that is addictive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prescribe to the drug called HOPE for the sake of the experience of when hope is given/implied/indoctrinated into me which to me is saying that I am going for a ride and thus I do not have to do anything and just wait and see what happens.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the consequences of a human race living in and of HOPE within all they do when there is facts to work with and math to calculate things with which does not require hope and will give the outcome that is wanted, yet not applied for some fucking reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that as soon as hope is given I become in active.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Living and participating in HOPE is actually the way and the consequence of destroying any or all changes of actual hope that was here because when there was hope and hope was given everyone was happy that there is hope and because there is hope it is implying that we are not to late yet and because we are not to late yet we do not have to change anything till it is too late and there is no hope because everyone had hope, seeing and realizing that we are at the point of NO HOPE and that it is very important that everyone understands this, so that we can stop hoping and wasting hope and start living practical ways that is mathematically equated to a solution that will fix what is here to bring about a world that is best for all life and that will and all abuse and create a world that can continue for the children of our children’s children etc etc.

I commit myself to show that hope is a drug that paralyzes people from moving themselves to bring about actual real change.

I commit myself to show that hope is a illusion in the face of the facts that people prefer to belief rather then the facts because it is simply easier and that within this actions everything only becomes worse and then in fact all hope is lost, and that we are at this point now

I commit myself to stop any and all points of hope that I am living within my daily life and to teach and learn how to instead take self responsibility for what is here through not hoping but instead checking and making sure and fixing shit and doing stuff that is required practically so that when I live my life I will never live in fear as I will be 100% sure of the things I do in awareness and thus hope will not be required.

I commit myself to show that it is possible to live without hope and that hope is simply a lie that is sold to the people and the people sell it to themselves because they know there isn’t hope.

I commit myself to show that the act of hoping is eradicating all hope.

I commit myself to show that there is something much better then hoping and that is acting.

I commit myself to show that hoping isn’t real and not necessary because we do in fact have the ability and capability to do things practically and physically and that does not ever require hope.
I commit myself to show that hoping to change the world and changing the world in fact is two different things and that only the one way can change the world and that on isn’t hope.

I commit myself to show that hope is something that is taught to children because of fear, and that this fear comes from people that isn’t educated on how thing function and work within the reality that we all share and are from and as.

I commit myself to show that hope is the act of not doing the things you are hoping for yourself when you know it is possible to do it in fact yet it is not done.

I commit myself to show that hope is the easy answer to doing things and handling things while being fully aware that there is ways that isn’t hoping but actually doing it in fact and that hope isn’t required.

I commit myself to show that only once we all give up hope can we change things, as we are the not hoping but doing and that means what we are hoping for is happening ad when it is happening hoping isn’t required and but only a escape from taking full self responsibility for what s here as all as one and equals

Day 117 – Being Skinny – The Machine within Part 3

I am continuing from Day 116 where I take quotes from the first Blog Day 115 and applying Self Forgiveness.

Quote 2: “This is bothering me a lot, since I am skinny and in need of some fat, Why? Because my bones are literally sticking out at places such as my hip bones, this is really uncomfortable when I lay down, any way any position, when I lay on my stomach it feels like the bones are peeling through my skin, when I lay on my back it feels like my stomach is laying on my back bone and my hip bones are sticking out and uncomfortable.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered with my skinniness from and as the MIND within thoughts/feelings/emotions based on Ideas/beliefs/opinions/judgments that occupy my mind and so put stress on my body which takes more energy from my physical body to sustain all the mental activities, instead of realizing that breathing and be here in and as the physical will stop all the energy my mind is harvesting from and as my body that actually takes physical energy such as fat and turn it into mental energy that then is “lost and so only adding to the weight loss or not gaining weight and to breathe and move here will support and assist me as the body in stabilizing itself and only using energy from and as the body to actually support what it is meant to support as the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being skinny to the word bothered and that when and as I see any sign of being skinny I immediately go into stress and fear of being skinny. and within this being bothered by it all day and existing within the mind as fear/stress about me being skinny and how I look as being skinny and how sick I might look being skinny and to then go into a state of polarity where I will eat and eat and eat till I feel I have gained some weight and might look a little bit fatter just to not be bothered by it, realizing that when I go into such pattern of being bothered by it and physically living the actions driven by fear/stress in my day where I tend to move the whole time and try and do things to prevent me from going skinnier I am actually through my actions of fear/stress as eating more training my body and my metabolism to work faster as I eat more and more and move more and more in the hope to prevent weight loss I am actually causing it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the physical actions that I take of and as a pattern that is reactive based on a thought that is motivated by fear from and as past memories/experiences and that this is actually only creating the problem as it is not based within and as the actuality of the physical but of a mind picture Idea/belief/judgment that is based on energy that does not consider how the physical functions in fact and so within the energetic movements as a pre-programmed robot I am actually only causing what I am trying to prevent as the prevention is based on illusions of the mind such as pictures memories Ideas/beliefs/opinions/judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the pattern of fear of being skinny within the fear of not being loved by beautiful women that I belief will only lover men with full built bodies such as seen and advertised on TV and magazines as brainwashing to create a society of kids/men that is insecure and that will spend Billions of corporations such as Gym’s and Gaining Muscle protein shakes and even end up using steroids, as the children is never taught about how the human physical body in fact works and looks naturally and what it is capable of in its actual form and that size has nothing to do with anything but Looks, leaving generations of kids chasing pictures/castles in the sky of Ideas/beliefs/opinions/judgment and that is all they ever will do never reaching that picture and always be in a depression and self judgment mentality that corporations will take and use to make billions advertising the few successful ones to lure in the millions – it is all for capitalism, even if it means breaking people deliberately to give a beforehand created solution. Its like creating a virus when you know only u have the anti-virus deliberately.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I had to grow up in a jungle all alone by myself, I would not have had any Idea/belief/judgment/opinion about how my body looks as being skinny/fat/muscular/just okay etc, and that all that would have mattered would have been the function of my body to do practical activities daily to have all my basic needs met and to life comfortably with and as my body in and as the physical and how the physical functions.

Point.

We all know Chimpanzees, they are monkeys that are quite intelligent if you compare them to the Idea of what intelligent is of the human “the human can’t even look after his own world and even seeing that he is Fucking it up, he continues, so I would not agree with the idea that Humans are intelligent, any way – Chimps are smaller than Humans, they have the body built/structure very close to a human, Chimps do not look like body builders, in fact you can hardly see any “big” muscles, it all looks straight and normal so to say – yet a full grown Chimpanzee male that is still smaller than a full grown human and is EIGHT TIMES stronger than a Full grown Man – so does the size of how your body looks like have anything to do with what your body is capable of in and as the physical.

Consideration - as the chimps do not have any Judgments/beliefs/ideas/opinions about their bodies as the human do – they are not limited as we are limiting ourselves to it or causing any harm to their bodies through the mind as the Ideas/Beliefs/Judgments/opinions. They simply live as the physical here.

To be continued…