Expectations and Blame - Self Forgiveness

 

Expectations is strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Blame is to assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a state of expectation that things in my life and within this world will get better - without me having to do anything practical or real that directs my life and things in this world to be better. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that if I live in a state of expectations within me towards anything, that I am also create BLAME. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate RESPONSability by living in a state of expectations. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SIT in my mind and THINK about things I want to happen and then to create false realities within myself based on expectations, either from others or the world. and so if those realities within me does not manifest, or they do not happen, I then turn to BLAME as a way to assign responsibility to others as being wrong and at fault for those realities to not have manifested. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the  world to work for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT others to understand me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT when I do something that it MUST work immediately, or I will see no point in doing it and just give up. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT the world as the system to CARE about me or my family, when I have not done anything to care myself by actually putting work in to change the world to a place of CARE. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to EXPECT things from others that I only think about of within my mind and never actually making the effort to talk and communicate with them, and so within that when things do not work out, I end up blaming them and putting them at fault. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen,realized and understood how expectations lead to inactivity, and so into blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the believe system of expectation, where just like with any believe, I will sit back and do nothing except expect. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create points of bLAME within my life towards others and attack them for expectations I had within me towards them and what I expected from them, never communicating/talking or even do the work and efforts in my life to create what it is I want. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that even if I communicate what I want/need etc with others, that I still can not create expectations, as I can only work with the physical reality and the results in the living that is here, anything else is a mind job that will end up in blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD in my mind others hostage within expectations that I have of them or towards them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself hostage to the expectations I place onto others within me, where I now have this voice in my head that secretly blame others or give them the fault for things not working or moving as I EXPECT within me, thus I see and realize I must drop all expectations, as I drop all blame and to take self responsibility living in reality with what is here to direct each day within each breathe as what is best for all. 

 

Day 519 – What I learned from Bernard Poolman – Lesson 9

When I came to the Farm back in 2008 in June, I brought with me R700 as pocket money. This was money I worked for, I earned it the hard way, I used to be a waiter, and I always tried to get double shifts to make extra money, so to me this last R700 was a lot of money.

Every time I open my wallet, I would look through my notes (money) just to generate this feeling of freedom and security within me, it made me feel like I have power, I have free will and choice.
After the first two weeks on the farm, all my money was gone, it was finished – I smoked back then, so smokes and essentials took my money quickly.

So, suddenly I had NO money, I had this consistent fear/anxiety within me regarding my stance within this world and who I am. I felt powerless and bound, basically the opposite to how I felt when I had money.

So I learned a lot of lessons quickly – first of all I realized I have NO idea what money is and how it works, I do not even know the value of money, I mean, I saw R700 as a lot, what does that reveal about my training from home and school regarding money, once I hit the real world by myself – POOF my money is gone, see my parents used to buy almost everything for me, and I used to only use my money for partying and my own entertainment. This quickly changed.

So in my crisis of having no money, I had a discussion with Bernard – Bernard said that I can stay and live on the farm if I work on the farm, do labor and maintenance as a start, and for this a room is provided, food is provided and reasonable comfortable life, plus pocket money, all basics will be met and a little bit more. I agreed to this with a massive smile – Because I LOVE physical work, I enjoy it, I live for it, so here I was able to do what I enjoy and have no worry about my basics being met – But Bernard added in, everything you see here and what we are building, comes from money that I made, I worked my ass off to start this and so that we can fucking change this world (with my dad present still at this time)

So here I was, with nothing, no money, and there is Bernard the complete opposite – my mind was blown once again, as my idea about money got changed very quickly.

One man worked his ass off, for many years in a business that he started, then stopped it, changed his course in life 180 degrees and have enough money to start a movement that will change the world forever. Even allow others from all over the world to come and visit and stay here for months and even years, being supported by the farm, by money Bernard made in the past – but every person that came/comes here, came/comes with a purpose, as the purpose of the farm was/is to support and assist as many as possible and to create a centered point for this movement that IS global, as a foundation and stability point.

But Bernard said, the only way to test if the people that start walking their process and that commit to changing this world to a place that is best for all life is and will be REAL in fact, is if the money I have created to start all of this runs out, and that this (Desteni) and all its branches continues by each and every individuals self-honest participation and understanding of how money works. If not then at least we know we have removed those that pretend and didn’t mean to change anything.

Back then it was kind of confusing what Bernard said, but after his money ran out and after his death – Desteni is still here, alive and moving forward by the will and participation of dozens/hundreds of individuals around the world. Now that’s what you can call real growth. I mean it must be proven in the physical.

It’s like removing the training wheels from a child’s bike and the child just continues driving – the development from there on is limitless.

I learned that Money is required to do anything and to bring change to this world, without it I will only be begging for change on the corner of a street – I also learned that R700 is NOTHING, I require at least 700 Billion to really impact this world.

I also learned that it is about HOW I use money, is it for what is best for all life in support of all life, or just for my entertainment, that’s the value I give the money, I can spend R20 here on smokes and R50 on sweets and R70 on a pizza, Or I can spend that money on supporting life and I will see the Value of the money suddenly meaning something more than my entertainment – because as long as money remains a point of entertainment within my mind, for my own self-interest, the value of money will always seem like nothing, but the moment I am seeing the value of money as the key to changing this world, Money suddenly has a value far beyond my own self-interest. And thus I will stop aiming for just the next pay check to buy smokes or candy or a drink, but to push myself to make millions/billions as it will contribute to changing this world. My aim naturally goes to LIFE.

As long as I do not understand money and how to deal/work with it and the effects ever cent has, I will always be a slave to money and my self-interest points towards it, looking at money as only a source for consumption for self-interest.

I also learned that as long as I live in scarcity towards money as my relationship towards money I will hold on to money and start having less and less – as I become self-preservative instead of expanding and promoting abundance within myself and not fear/stress – as who I am within/towards money starts reflecting in my reality. Because when we live in fear of not having money we start to spend our money stupid and can’t seem to see where it goes.

NO matter what, I must have NO feelings or emotions towards money – I must always stand in self-honesty and common sense within and towards money within myself and see it for what it actually is and to make decision with money that is always best for all life, promoting growth and expansion that is best for all life.

Day 518 – What I learned from Bernard Poolman – Lesson 8

In the beginning of my process I had many struggles, but like all guys in the system, our minds are wired and intertwined with and for sex, so this was an obvious point I was facing in my reality.

The point in relation to sex wasn’t just sex, but with what “type” of girls I would like to have sex with.
So me going into an agreement back then, my first Agreement and still my one and only agreement (smiles) – I had to face many points within my agreement with my partner, especially sex.
So the point I faced within sex was the “image” point – as my partner didn’t meet the Image of my MIND and what my mind wanted and find stimulating.

So sex within my agreement wasn’t nessasarely flowing, as the image I needed to stimulate me for sex wasn’t met.

So this became a depressing point within me, and within my agreement, and it was quit noticeable.
So one day, Bernard walked into my room while I was sitting by my computer – and he just asked as usual, what’s up, and I as usual said, oh nothing much (me assuming Bernard is asking me what I am physically doing) and thus giving a response to what I assume. Then Bernard out of the blue started talking to me about what is attraction, what is an Image – my mind was blown, WOW, how did Bernard know to talk about this point, like I haven’t mentioned anything, in fact I made it a point within myself to hide it and make sure Bernard does not see it lol.

But he did, and in a quick few moment Bernard asked me straight forward, IS that which you are attracted to within women truly your Decision? I paused for a moment and I said, NO within self-honesty, Because I looked at the question of is it truly my decision, and all I could see within my mind was Media/porn/TV/magazines and influences from men/males that has gone before me.

And then Bernard asked me straight forward again – so where does your LIKES and DISLIKES come form towards women then? And I said well, magazines/TV/porn/media etc

Then Bernard said to me – so it is clearly not YOU that made the decision of what you like, NOW realize that if you see this, you still have that decision to make – just look at when you were a child, even a baby – there was NO judgment and enjoyment in playfulness was possible with anyone, no matter their size or shape.

So within sex, you can really decide in every moment what you like, you can as a suggestion decide to LIKE all shapes and sizes, NO limitation, NO judgments – then you can truly enjoy yourself – isn’t that actually the only decision you can make.

After Bernard said all that, my mind was still blown, so simple YET so fucking true, the common sense is staggering, the self-honesty is so simple and direct – how could I not have seen this before.
Then Bernard said, to support yourself to walk through the point of falling for the attractions of the mind, imagine everyone as skeletons, realize that if the flesh is removed what remains is skeleton, and if everyone is a skeleton, how would you make a decision on what you like or dislike, you can’t, you simple walk what is best for all and enjoy yourself.

This moment took like 5min, and it changed my life forever – I realized I can decide, and I said fuck media and all the past influences, I want to enjoy myself, I got angry for a moment at the system for all the bullshit influences that has limited and screwed with all my relationships for such a long time, but I realized soon enough I was just angry at myself, took a breath and moved on, I was now in the authority point of just enjoying myself in sex as a physical expression, it took practice and time, but it was fun and I got over any and all other attraction that would usually have distracted me or that was needed to stimulate me, now what was my stimulation was ME – physical touch and breathing, not the form of a body size or image.

Day 517 – more on the point of expectation/expectations

Let’s start with basics

after the basics of showing how expectations are in literally everything and behind our every belief/Idea/opinion and that it isn’t good or bad, remove that motion, this is about understanding the point, and then I will get to the creational point where expectations INSIDE ourselves in our immediate reality/moment create the moment realities without us even knowing it or being fully aware of the secret shit.

Every belief is an expectation
Every opinion is an expectation
Every Idea is an expectation

Isn’t it?

It cannot be that way, it is impossible – a belief is a belief, an opinion is an opinion, an Idea is an Idea – really?

Quickly belief something or in something - Obviously the reason behind the belief is to expect something?

Quickly have an opinion for me - Obviously the reason for an opinion is the expect something; why else do you have the opinion? Don’t tell me just to have an opinion, you are expectation to win or to gain or to feel or something.

Quickly have an Idea for me (about ANYTHING) – now obviously you are having an Idea with an expectation behind it, why else do you have the idea, just to have an idea?

Let’s go a bit deeper – I have an opinion about smoking is bad – first of all is it an opinion or a fact? – if you claim it is a fact then you are also expecting something from that fact, if it is an opinion then obviously you are expecting something from that opinion – either way you are expecting something for why you say for example smoking is bad or not bad – you are expecting something, either it means you can smoke and it reliefs you from dreadful thoughts on what the smoke might do to your lungs – well there is your expectation for having for example an opinion on why smoking isn’t bad – if you go with that it is a fact that smoking is bad, well you are expecting for example for others to now stop smoking and look to you for example as being an example of the one knowing better and their “facts” so to say.

Let’s look at belief – I belief that there is a god – this should be quite obvious what the expectations are, either go to heaven or go to hell, those are the two expectations – or another belief rather – I belief that this person in front of me is short, the expectation obviously is that you now expect others to see you are tall or taller, why else would you have a random belief of someone being short, or it the person in fact short? I mean fact or belief, there is an expectation, if the person is in fact short, then you must as yourself in comparison to what? 7 billion other people all being different in size? So what’s the expectation from such a fact, well I expect myself to be considered tall then and not as short, therefore I am better – the expectation being “I am better” or perhaps I am more lucky.

Now lets look at Ideas – I have an Idea, lets change the world – well that expectation is pretty obvious, the expectation it a better world – I have an idea about how to build a car port better, with the expectation obviously being that the car port will be better – Ideas is quit an easy one, every single Idea leads to an expectation.

SO the major question then remains, what is behind the expectation, why do we have beliefs or Ideas or opinions about or over any and everything – but more importantly – how does expectations for example determine how you pick up a spoon to eat your cereal, how your expectations literally can influence and create physical vents and manifestation in your immediate reality, ones that you aren’t even aware of.

Stay tuned for the next Blog going in deeper.

Day 516 – One word changed my life

For the past three weeks I have walked this point every single day – I have successfully incorporated and still doing so one word that has changed my life in the most unexpected ways. I will convey this in this blog and perhaps you can do the same.

Before I give you the word, I need to first say the following: ALL my life I have lived in fear, I have blamed fear and I have believed fear to be the one thing that keeps me back that is creating my world and thus not creating what I actually want to create, because fear is just there around every corner – so it seems that fear is the culprit.

BUT – never have I really looked at what is behind fear, what is there behind fear pushing fear in front of my eyes and inside of me, I mean fear doesn’t just happen, it is something that is created.
So one day I was just looking at this point in a moment with my son, it really took me a moment to breath and to really see inside of myself, my son was about to do something that was deemed wrong or not good from inside my mind as what I was programmed with – so I was preparing myself to stop my son, to say NO – and what happened? Exactly what I EXPECTED from my son.

There is the word – EXPECTATIONS/expect

SO I noticed this moment in slow motion, I truly lived it and I was present in the participation of it, But I did not say stop or no, I instead talked to my son about what is happening. But this story isnt the point, it is the realization the moment of clarity that I had and opened up my reality to a whole new level of interaction.

EXPECTATIONS

Before you have any reaction or any fear you first have an expectation within yourself, a thought, a memory – then the fear backs it up, making it so real, fear is like the reinforcement of the expectation. It will happen, most expectations do not happen that you are having consciously, but it is the unconscious one, these are the ones I am looking at, breathing slowly and catching them, taking a moment to see what’s really underneath, and they are all about YOU and what you can practically live and do, not about what the next lotto ticket is or who will win a soccer game.

Expectation is simply the word that describe this, it is the word that you can hold inside of yourself throughout your day and see how you are creating your day EXACTLY as you are expecting it to be, no more and no less – then you have two polarities that back the expectation up, reinforce it, either a positive or a negative, the fear or the love, without the expectation there is nothing the fear or love can latch onto, so then it is just simply you have breathing and dealing with HERE.

I have now taken the word expectation and I have applied it within every moment of my day as a cross reference – when I wake up, what is my first expectation of the morning/day – when I start moving and doing things, it is literally everywhere and I have now seen for myself, what I expect is what I get/create – unfortunately I am like everyone else programmed mostly in the negative and polarized by a positive, so it usually jumps between the two, I simply have to see my creation process in between and I am using the word expectation to highlight each and every moment to show my.

What is expectation, it is the past reoccurring literally, you expect it you create it, and it’s always the past, so it is always reinforced by fear.

So let me make it more clear, why use the word expectation/expectations to reflect and see the point, take a look, whatever you do or before you do it, there is behind the fear an expectation/expectations, and if you take each expectation it is as if you are opening up a story book, you can see what is going to happen and when and where and what characters must be involved and how the interactions must take place and then what the outcome will be as expected. Basically you can already SEE within your expectation the LINE of creation that you are about to live and this gives you the insight to change, stop and realize your expectation is literally creating what is happening or what is going to happen you have already written the story within the expectation.

So just for one day, wake up and hold the word expectation within you, and see what it reveals in each moment and see how you can decide from there on NOT to live that expectation and change. Using breathing common sense and self-honesty always within what is best for all life.

This is why the world isn’t changing, because we all have secretly already created the expectation that the world is going to end, and just look at it, we are literally living that expectation, I mean how can you live anything else than what you are expecting. So do not focus too much on fear, it is what is behind the fear as the expectation that needs addressing.

Day 509 – Clock Boy and the future of the Human

Most of us have heard about the Clock Boy story by now, a 14 year old student who built a clock for a project and took it to school, BUT because he had built the clock in specific way, everyone assumed it was a bomb, this kid actually got arrested on school property – have we lost our minds AS A HUMAN RACE.

But this is simply a reflection of where we are heading as the human race, we are living in constant fear, which later on turns into paranoia.

This reflects many dimensions of the human race and how we have “evolved” as a species, But I want to only point out one of these dimensions that this incident is showing to us ALL.

The world ISN'T getting better, by the fact that humans are more and more anticipating the worst, we are expecting the worst in every scenario, if the world was getting better through ALL the efforts that we have already made to better it, then this kind of paranoia would not have occurred – but it did, only reflecting what is within the general population – extreme paranoia expecting the worse, an this is simply an indication of what we have already been living for decades, always expecting the worse and the end of the world, and thus the world has literally only been created according to our expectations, it is ONLY getting worse.

Soon we will live in our own jails and prisons to protect us from our own paranoia, and we will give so much attention to our paranoia that we will always expect it to happen, and guess what, It does sometimes happen then, because we are just living in a waiting state, and we are waiting till what we are waiting for happens, you see by this act in each one we will create the end of the world by just living in that very expectation of it, we will through paranoia make really Irrational decisions that we will justify through fear, and we will slowly but surely nuke each other out of Paranoia, just like this Kid went to jail from other peoples “expectations” as paranoia and sending him to jail for JUST IN CASE… never ever looking beyond with reason and common sense and applying practicality to our ever action, we will act out of reactions and this will be the end of Life as we know it.

Day 497 – be visible - no more fear

I have recently realized that fEAR is what keeps me invisible, fear of living and expressing myself in the small moments that present themselves with opportunity, but instead I will fEAR – Fuck HERE, I am in my mind, I want to remain save, I do not want to do something that can expose me and make my fear invalid. I want to rather remain within the Fear of what is here, and what is here is POTENTIAL, and I fear potential, I do not fear the actual change, I fear admitting to myself that I haven’t been living my utmost potential deliberalty, I fear that I will have to face myself in shame and humility.

Have you ever noticed, when the moment is here, that slight “feeling” inside of you that is ready to just come out and live what is best for all , to go beyond the annoying frustrating you that you have been accepting and allowing to control you every moment, to spoil your every moment, and then the moment passes, and you know that this moment will present itself again in the future, you motivate yourself, you say NEXT time I wILL do it, but next time comes and FEAR stands in your way – the fear that is you do this now, then you are proving to yourself that you could have done it last time, then you prove to the world that you could have done this a long time ago, but never didn’t, fear of exposing yourself, fear of actually taking your potential that is always here and living it.

But I have realized that this only happens, this fear of that change in the moment, as long as the starting point of change is coming from outside, it is really simple, just move that starting point to self, doing it for self, and do it, self as LIFE, self as the utmost potential, Not because of others or someone else that will see it, if you do it for you, it is amazing, it is real, it is something that does not hold guilt or regret, it does not come with external expectations, just self-living the potential that is here, and this potential is still the learning phase, as you have never really lived it, so it takes time to perfect it, but as long as self’s starting point is doing it for self as LIFE as what is best for all life, then the practice will be here, it isn’t coming, it is HERE, it is the moment, take it, do the little bit of extra effort that is required and push the point that s here for YOU, because in the end we will all face LIFE and we all have to stand, if the world makes it or not, each person living and standing up for LIFE in oneness and equality as what is best for all life, is doing so FOR LIFE as self. In death or in life we must remain the same, to change this world and to change this existence we need to stand, no matter what.

So the point is to become visible for self as self and those with ears will hear, those with eyes will see, those who are ready will not follow but stand with – Being visible within standing for what is best for all life isn’t something that is forced, it isn’t stuffed down other peoples thoughts, it is YOU living the example in moment, small moments, who you are, the defining moments, the moments we take for granted, it isn’t standing in front of masses and preaching, it isn’t screaming out something and hoping people will follow, it is for self to first become visible to self, be self-honest, make that visibility you and for you first to live what is best for all life, and this visibility will make self-visible for all to see.

Be like water, purified water, it is visible and transparent, it flows where ever it can go, it does not stop for anything in its path, it finds a way around, it keeps moving to find the end result that is best for all.
Remember to relax and breathe, write and forgive yourself, embrace best for all in each and every moment and let that be your starting point, live without fear, when you embrace living what’s best for all in common sense and practicality and self-honesty – suddenly fear becomes so small and even disappear, and embracing self becomes the new experience, as self then decide, have you ever imagined how you will live if fear dint exist within you, in no corner of your beingness.

Join the Detseni Forums and stand.

Listen to Eqafe and learn and gain understanding and much more.

Day 270 – To Start is a Good Start self forgiveness.

continuing from Day 269 - To Start is a Good Start

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see a point that requires to be done to first think about it and to wonder about it and to go into the world of imagination and to lose myself within it and to only end up not getting to the point or to postpone it till later when I am forced to do it anyway, instead of seeing and realizing that simplicity of Starting and to move from there, which requires no thinking or imagination as the feedback is real time and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when and as I have to do something that to wonder about it will not get the thing done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to go into the mind as Imagination about something that requires to be done is completely useless as it will not get it done and only postpone and create resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always first think about what I need to do even if and when I have already seen what needs to be done directly and to instead just start, which requires no thinking about it as I am doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see what I need to do and what I can do within the principal of what is best for all life always to first think about it and to only maybe later do it or even never, seeing and realizing that I have sabotaged myself and actually limited myself within thinking about it instead of taking that one first step of starting it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see what is required to do in the moment that really only takes that one step of starting in the moment to first stop and to consider and think and wonder on my fears about it and to then based on my fears make a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions on fear as if they are valid and real, when and as I can always first make the decision to start first and to then check what is here as real feedback and not as the mind and how the mind interoperate reality which is always based on my own personal fears and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to start is a good start as a way to get things done is me actually giving myself in the moments that present themselves the courage to step out of my own self created limitations and fears and to expand and learn and to always move forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as the opportunity is here for me to start something to first sit back and think about it, seeing and realizing that in the act of sitting back and thinking about it first I am actually setting myself back already within a decision of first considering my fears and desires before acting which is me limiting myself first and only then maybe expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if and when I see and realize something in the moment that the only act that is required of me is to start and to not think about it, because once I start thinking about it I bring in the past and my experiences with it that will set me back and thus creating fear/stress and anxiety, giving away the clarity of what I see in the moment with fogging it up with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping in the moment forward and to start something new or to get something done or to do what needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting in the moment when the point is here and the opportunity within making maybe a mistake, not seeing and realizing that if I make a mistake or if the point does not work out at least I will know for a fact instead of sitting for months thinking about it or imagining shit about it and never knowing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting to act and do what is best for all life within and as what is here currently and what requires to be done as I fear that I might not be able to make it or be good enough, not seeing and realizing that I will never know if I do not start and starting with a unconditional starting point of willingness to do what needs to be done to make it work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting as I know my fear within starting implied me giving up that comfort zone of never starting and always being in a save zone where I take no risks and where I do not challenge myself as what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to become/be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear starting what I see needs to be done as that which is best for all life as myself within my daily living within the idea that I will start and not be able to finish, seeing and realizing that it is the mind wanting to keep me limited and enslaved so that I can be trapped in energy of which the mind feeds.

I commit myself to give myself in the moment that present themselves the courage of saying yes to starting and to make that starting point unconditional where I am open to what needs to be done as that which is best for all life in each breathe within self honesty.

I commit myself to give myself the courage of using and living the statement “to start is a good start” within anything that needs to be done where I experience resistance to push myself out of my own fears and to see and realize them and to stop all self imposed limitations created within the mind within self interest and to break free from the prison of my mind.

Day 269 – To Start is a Good Start.

Day 269 – To Start is a Good Start.

Within yesterdays blog I wrote down these few words a few times “starting is a good start”, and it is within this that I saw simplicity and how things get done.

Whenevera I have to write a blog or built a cupboard or cut the grass or read a book or write a blog or make money – I always first sit and thing and wonder how am I going to do it, how is it going to get done, when will I get it done can I even do it. Usually it ends up that I postpone the point till way later and then I am forced into doing it which is then a situation of stress instead of self movement.
Lets take the most recent point I am walking.

I am in the process of changing myself and so changing the world, this is what I am doing daily within my living and participation with Desteni and Equal Money System.

I have realized within my four and a half years doing/living/walking this that there is one point that is missing, it is like a final ingredient to how we can in fact make a difference within this world.

And this is with LOTS of people that care and understand and that see what we are doing and so support and assist the solution to become real this LIFE.

Now this is a big point within the current state that the world is within, the world is in big shit with money and money is tight, and people that do want to change the world don’t have money usually, or just enough, or they are in starvation/poverty/famine and can’t even move one arm to change the world because I guarantee they all want to change the world.

So Here I am facing this point as myself, we need money, the group and everyone walking as the group needs money, we need to get money to move we need to have money to stand for what is best for all life and support and assist ourselves within doing so effectively. As we are all slaves to money still and so nothing can happen without money, its a cold fact.

And I have been wondering for a long time now How can I make LOTS of money to put towards standing for life, how can I move myself and direct myself to make money in a world that is shit, where money is mostly already within the rich people’s hands, how will I get my hands on that.


Well that isn’t the point, because when I look around me going to town or the mall every now and again and I see the people around me and what they are doing, I see that those that still have money spends it on a lot of CRAP, I mean really – money is spend on bullshit. And here I am worried about how will we make money to do what is necessary to be done to change the world for that which is best for all life. Even in a tough economy people still send money on shit.

So I have been using this fear of where will I get the money in a shot economy and how will I get it to not move myself to not START.

And because I did not start way back I never found out, so I have been keeping it all inside my head as ideas and beliefs and really just sabotaging myself and compromising my life and the entire group as a whole to get to money to actually start moving.

I know we need to be a Million Destoninas to have this journey easy, but getting people to understand is like trying to tell a rock he is a rock, lol, so we are a few that has to carry the load till we have a million carry one stone each as a group, instead of a millions stones each as a tiny group.

So here I am facing this point still and I am now actually walking this point, I had a job interview to become a car salesmen, I first wanted to become a truck driver and ear money that way, as a means of funding a world/life that is best for All life in the long run within establishing the EMC/EMS.

And I am now awaiting a call from the car company I went to, they will call me in a week or so and let me know what is happening and then I will see if it works out or not, does it make money or will it be a slow slave driving job with no results. And from there take a different way.

So what i found within this point was how easy it is really to START, and through starting I start to see and I start to realize points and I have realize how the mind cannot interprate reality really at all, lol in my mind there was no jobs since my country has a fifty parent unemployment, yet Here was a opening, and then I realize that if there is job opening there is still money that can be put to salaries for people, please it must be obvious that there is a opening for me because I already have money and education and the exception is that I already knew the people as well..

All I had to do was to stop thinking about it and go out there and start, to not fear any answer or expectation and to simply unconditionally start, it makes it so easy and simple to move myself within all of this.

It is the same way I started with Desteni and walking self forgiveness and learning self honesty and so first - I decided to unconditionally start and to do it, here I am and I am doing it, I started and I started with a clean open slate to learn and to grow and to see things for myself.

Don’t think and worry about things, go out and start to check the point physically for yourself and to then have a clear answer that gives a clear direction to take, if one has truly followed through on checking the real answer/reality of the situation.

Next Self forgiveness.