Day 551 - Postponement Continued

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as postponement, within the believe that today isn't the right time, that the right time isn't here, and to within this seeing for the right time, wait till tomorrow, or the day after, and to within this keep on postponing in the hope for the right time to show up, the right moment.

Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone doing a blog just because it is already a certain time of the day, to late or to early and to within this tell myself that tomorrow I will do two blogs to make up for this, and when tomorrow comes, the same pattern occurs, the same thought, the same reasons.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone doing vlogs, that I have been jurning to do, waiting for the right time, the right atmosphere, the right light, and to within this make my actions, my participation dependent on the environment and hoping that the environment will magically just fit in with my schedule in my mind, instead of actually scheduling and making the right time, creating the environment through communication, through planning to do the vlogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justifications/reasons within my life to why I am postponing certain changes, changes within myself, within the believe that I am not ready yet, I cannot do this yet, I am not capable yet, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I do not deserve this change, mostly the time isn't right, the moment isn't right, I might as well remain the same for just today, tomorrow I will change, seeing and realizing that within this point of postponement there exist no such thing as the right time, moment or place, it is all about me making decisions and living those decision, either bets for myself and all or not, and If I continue to postpone I will continue to remain the same - and there will never be a right moment/time, I will never be ready or be perfect to change, it must be done in the moment here and walk it, regardless of what the mind has to say, remain breathing in and as the physical and use the physical as the real cross reference

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into the mind regarding doing something that is HERE, like doing a blog/vlog, to stop and to breathe, to rather check my reality, ask around if I can do it or set up reality to do it after considering everything, now, check my schedule, and to then base my decision on what is HERE and not within the mind, I create my options, I make my time, I plan things, instead of throwing rocks in the bush thinking something will come out of it.

I commit myself to when and as I see a moment of change, to speak up, to stand, to direct or to intervene, or to be quite, to Stop and breathe, to check myself physically here and what is here, to not go into the mind as the reasons/excuses/justification for why I should or should not and to instead rely on the physical and to direct and move myself as the physical.

Day 535 – Money has defined me, being self-honest

What has been seen as one of the major factors in my life as a limitation, I would say money? All my life I have had only a lack of money, never abundance, and I do believe that most people in this world has this physical limitation. 

To start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my environment determines MY limitations and what I can do or not do, seeing and realizing that Who I am within my environment determines my limitation or my expansion.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the only real limitations that exist is actual physical limitations, such as not having a car to drive somewhere, or not having certain resources available within my environment, but that WHO I AM within the environment can decide to move myself beyond perceived limitations that are of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse real limitations and mind limitations as one and the same thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other within my environment for the perceived limitations that I am experiencing due to how I interact or experience myself around others, seeing and realizing that this is an experience within ME that is limiting ME and my expression and not about the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that limitation of and as the mind as blame/judgements and abdicating self-responsibility for my actions that enforce limitation can be changed and through simply changing my mind and who I am within a moment of slowing down and physically assessing and checking what is here and that needs to be done.
Money Point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect who I am as an expression of myself to the amount of money I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to go into a state of mind of retraction within my expression when and as there is little money available within my reality to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only expand and express myself if there is a lot of money within my reality/environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an expression of insecurity within myself and within my reality if there is little money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to explode and express myself fully only if there is a certain amount of money within my reality that makes me feel secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on money in terms of my expression as who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep to myself and to pull myself into myself and hide my expression when and as I am in fear of survival due to how “little” money I have, seeing and realizing that money does in fact play a role in how I can move myself within my reality and my well-being, yet who I am as an expression is independent of money if I have it or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I change within who I am dependant on how much money I have or do not have, and within allowing myself to admit this point within me I can see what who I am is still of the mind as a preprogramed personality design that is dependent on an outside force to define me/who I am.

Who will I be if I am starving and will die of starvation?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I will be if I had to live in a state of starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and be ignorant to look at reality and what is here and till what extend MONEY has defined who I am, taking it to the extreme of removing money from my life and seeing the physical consequences that I will face within such a position and who I will be within such a situation, to face myself within self-honesty and to stand within such a position within oneness and equality within MYSELF, not physically going out and experiencing this, as that is unnecessary at this stage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I had to starve on the streets as many others do in this world, that who I am at this moment will change and thus confirming that I have not yet taken full self-responsibility for myself as this reality and who I am as part of the creation of this reality where money decides everything, from who eats to who can express themselves and who can’t, and thus IF I do not stand within self-honesty, where I see I have money and I have the time and I have the resources to take a stand within this reality to bring actual change within this reality then I will most probably have to face the consequences one and equal to what I stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it for granted the money and position I have currently within this reality whereas billions of others DO not in fact have the same as me to do the same as me and to take a stand to change this reality, and IF I abuse this position to NOT stand then LIFE as me by my permission as my actions will place me in the position to see and realize all others parts of me and what I have accepted and allowed for all the others parts of me to exist one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that Money buys Time literally, and as long as I have the time I have the money to do something this life TIME to stand up for all the others parts of me that exist in this reality within inequality and suffering, that do not have the time and thus the money to do anything, thus as a body, I must take the position/responsibility as the immune system, where I focus all my time/energy/money to heal the parts of me that is suffering, or the whole body will collapse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LET fear in the name of not having enough or not having a lot of money decide my actions within what is HERE as my current reality where I can within self-honesty see that I am in a position to walk within breathe and to take a stand in each and every moment as long as I am breathing within the position I have and to not fall for the Idea of the future and what MIGHT be or not, and to realize me here and that each breath counts and who I am within each and every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the trap of the MIND where the mind wants to be more than reality and NOT do what is necessary to live in this world, which is making money and working certain hours to do so, and making that Burden a MIND limitation where one acts and lives the MIND limitation of the physical limitation that has been placed onto self by a fucked up system, instead of seeing and realizing that one has a Job or work that is more than what billions of others can say, thus one has money and TIME do something to bring change to this world, as money speaks Louder than words in a world where screaming has been ignored and denied for as long as this has been going on, and we can make our expressions independent of the system that is a JOB for money from 9 to 5, our expressions does NOT have to be limited as the system is, our expressions is what will bring change, and we cannot fall for the MIND limitations that we make ourselves belief of being victims of a system we are part of and have created and entertained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a factor in my expression, instead of using money to my advantage to bring change to this world, to take authority where it is least expected and to stand up and make the choice, take a leap of faith, what are we waiting for? For the system to magically change and support us to change this world? It’s not going to happen.

We must take authority and reach for the top even when we are placed at the bottom of a slave system. This is where we stop the slave preprogramed system of money and the effects it has on us. To move beyond it.