Day 570 – Accepting the Positive but not the negative



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a moment when I feel good, when I feel like everything is going in the right direction and things are looking bright, to within this feeling/experience lose sight of what is here, where I go into the experience of Bliss and ignorance to reality, within what exist within me and within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is okay to be in a positive/feeling experience as long as it isn’t bad, as long as I am feeling good, the world is okay, my world is okay, and so when I go into the positive feelings within me to create a polarity of negative through the ignorance and Bliss to reality, thus missing what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the positive experience of everything is Good, I Feel good and thus things are good within me and with this world, not seeing and realizing the obvious self-deception, as I know who I am and what exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make positive experiences/feeling within me okay, and yet condemn the negative just because of how each one makes me feel, seeing and realizing that the mind uses energy, no matter if it is good or positive, to enslave us in the mind, as I can see within myself for myself that when I am within a negative or positive experience/feeling I am within the mind, I am trapped and enslaved within energy and thus within my patterns/programs/behaviors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only Move and direct myself when I feel positive, when I feel good, and to within this acceptance and allowance give away my authority as myself to move and direct myself in any moment and to rely on only good and positive moments to direct and move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see me as being positive as just being that, being positive, instead of seeing it for what it is which is energy, which is the same in feelings negative or positive, and thus when I am within any mood/experience if it’s positive or negative I see it for what it is, which is energy, which is of the mind, and within understanding the mind which functions only on energy and thus enslaving the body/person to patterns/habits/behaviors not matter what feeling or emotion it creates within a person/myself – thus I stop any energy that is designed within polarity thus follows pre-programmed designs of patterns/habits/behaviors that isn’t best for me either way, as it is always set within terms and conditions of limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of chasing positive experience/feelings, which only confirms my actual experience of myself which is negative, why else would I seek positive then?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within a negative experience/emotional state of myself and to within this acceptance and allowance of me as being negative/bad/sinful always being trapped in the seeking of the positive and thus my life consists of me always only seeking positive, and that is all life will be and can be to me as long as I accept and allow this way of existence of polarities.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I wake up, and if the first things I think about in the morning is negative or positive, that the rest of my day will not be about me LIVING but about me seeing the other polarity or seeking to get out of the other polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it normal as who I am to live within a polarity construct day in and day out and so it continues till death, and within accepting and allowing it as normal I am not seeing, realizing and understanding fully that that is all my live can be, a polarity game, and thus when I die, I will die as existing as nothing more of less than just a polarity and I never actually lived, as I, as who I am without a polarity design is nowhere to be found, as I have defined myself according polarities which is simply energy that comes and go, not who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is Too difficult to not live in a polarity of either negative or positive, as I haven’t yet defined myself without the polarities, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into polarities as I have already given the polarities more authority then who I am here as Breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being directionless, or not knowing what to do with myself if I do not have energy that directs me in either positive or negative and to within this fear fall into the polarity design, thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give Breathe a chance, to give life a chance, to give ME a chance and to trust that I have the authority to step out of any polarity, negative or positive, and be in breathe and to move and direct myself from there within self-honesty and common sense.

Day 569 - I am just not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe and judge myself that I am just not enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough as a fact within me that I am not good enough, through the input of this world that I have received, from society, family, media and to submit and become that which I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not smart enough as a fact within me and to have thoughts/backchat/emotions/feelings about myself where I continuously confirm within me this to be true, and to then live this believe equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and live the believe as a fact within me that I am NOT tall enough, as an idea/image within my mind of what I believe I should be to be the right, and thus I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am now Strong enough as a fact within me within all the believes and comparisons and ideas I have within my mind to set the case against myself and to always lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not Capable enough as a fact within me, where I use past experiences/moments/memories to confirm that I am not capable enough and to thus sabotage any and every opportunity, even within self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am just not old enough, to do what I want to do with confidence, believing that confidence comes with age, and experiences, and to within this believe hold back and to not act, stand, breathe and direct and rather wait for others to do so that I judge as old enough, experienced enough and that has the right image of age to do what needs to be done, seeing and realizing that I will wait forever and only prolong my process and the process as life one and equal by waiting within this believe/excuse/justification

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not tough enough, within and as the believe that I must be though, where I have gotten an image and idea from and as the system that toughness is required from a human being to survive and live in this world, seeing and realizing that toughness as an interior and exterior is exactly what is wrong with this world and actually only exposes a weakness within self and thus as a manifestation within this world, where everything is though.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being quiet enough yet, where I am within the believe that I must be quiet immediately now, and to within this believe compromise myself with more voices and self-talk that is judgment of me not being what I desire, or aim to be as being quiet within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the believe that I am not rich enough, where I have placed my self-value and who I am within riches that is external outside of me, instead of seeing and realizing that the riches the world has presented as adding value to a person is of the mind as the enslavement system that is here where one forgets oneself and thus never focus on oneself as everything one defines oneself according to is placed out of reach, never looking at self as LIFE as all that is here in oneness and equality and to stop the separation of riches and poverty to exist first within self and so without as ones living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being healthy enough, where I compare myself and my health to some image and picture within my mind of what a perfect healthy person should look like and act like, as this picture is unreachable and a creation of the mind, thus not practical or within the consideration of the physical and what is here, and so I place myself on a never ending search for being healthy and achieving that image/idea/opinion and thus in return within the law or polarity that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by I create the polarity that I am not healthy and always lacking something, always missing something, always just not healthy enough and thus actually sick and in need of help constantly, always in a constant fear of what will become of me if I do not reach that perfect healthy, thus my disease it actually once again the mind and my unhealthiness is of the mind, as fear as thoughts/feeling and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being popular enough, where I have added a certain believe of myself and who I am within how popular I am, as the idea/believe/opinion is that if I am popular then that means I am doing it right, that I am on the right track, that I am finally worth something in other people’s eyes, and thus create the exact polarity within myself as my experience, that I am not valuable, that I do not mean anything, that I am not doing the right things, that I am on the wrong track, and thus I live a life of discouragement and putting myself down, or where I run after something in my mind to show me that what I do it worth doing, that it is the right thing to do, which I will never reach as I know and understand that popularity is a mind system, as within and without where only a few is selected to deliberately create separation and create enslavement to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being disciplined enough, where my definition of the word discipline is still defined within me according to past experiences, media and society, where discipline is still an image, certain way of how to live and be and seen as disciplines in OTHERS eyes, and thus discipline will never be enough for me, and thus I will never be disciplined enough, as the system/Mind deliberately create and place what key factors are within ones life as something not reachable and out there, and to accept and allow this within myself I always judge myself and guilt trip myself for nor reaching this discipline within my mind, thus I see and realize that I must redefine discipline for myself to become a practical living word that I can live as who I am in each breath, where it isn’t something I force upon me but where I live it as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being technical enough, where I have taken this word and I have compared myself to everyone else I know that is/are technical or that I have perceived as being technical within my world and to place myself as less than others and to then separate myself from others and placing myself in a different box, instead of seeing and realizing that if someone else that I see as being technical and good at it where it works, that I can s a equal and one human being be technical as the other person and that I am as capable, as the other person is an example to me to show me it can be done, it is possible and not impossible, and to within this push myself to develop myself to become technical and to allow and accept help, support and assistance within humbleness through understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being gentle enough, within comparing myself to others who I have defined as being gentle towards others, through my definition of what gentleness is to me, and to within this interpret what others are doing as being gentle within my definition, where I have set my definition of the word gentleness as something separate from me through past experiences where I have judged myself as not being a gentle person and to within this hold it against myself and thus separate myself from gentleness and thus I will never be gentle enough even if I try my hardest to express and be gentle, as long as the memory/experience lies within me as a LIE I told myself and believed, then I will never be able to be enough as the gentleness I will attempt to live will be seen as a lie within me while I am living gentleness and thus my living of gentleness will be a consistent self-judgment and self-sabotage, as this is the design of the mind to always attempt and keep a person limited and to never be enough.

Day 568 - Principle Living


We all need a fundamental source or basis in this world to live from/accordingly, it is the reason why there are so many religions, sects, cults, groups in this world, each one gives a person a fundamental basis/source that they can live from/by, to give purpose and reason to life. 

The problem is that all the Principles that people are living by currently in this world is in separation from this world, they are all based on polarity designs, good and evil, right and wrong, and this life and the afterlife. This kind of Principle living isn't sustainable and it has proven throughout thousands of years to be so, all the wars and destruction, all the conflict between all the different groups, because who is right and who is wrong? a consistent polarity game takes place. 

So I am here today to Introduce a new Principle Living, a way that everyone can follow and live by and that will not collide with any other, it will not create conflict or discord, because this new way of Principle living includes all life, and if we all can adopt such a principle to live by here on earth, earth will truly become something that we can not imagine yet. 

The Principle is simple - Do what is Best for all LIFE, this implies a lot, but if we truly consider these words "do what is Best for all life" in each and every moment of our day to day living, we will see that No one is right or wrong, we remove the polarity design within this world, and we get down to practical living, this principle does not require us to be in our heads or create believes, it requires us to in each and every moment consider what am I doing/living? is it best for all life or not, simple, it isn't about others, it isn't about life or death, it is about being right here considering all LIFE as yourself, changing yourself within such a principle and removing the ego, then as you change yourself to live this new Principle you will start seeing how you change and thus everyone around you. 

This requires a person to truly let go of their old Habits, patterns, addictions, because they all have been created within self-interest, you see this Principle isn't about being a Good guy, this principle isn't about doing the right thing out of fear, this principle is about doing onto others that you would like to be done onto, love thy neighbor as thy self, give as you would like to receive, you see it i all about YOU and who you are. 

within living this Principle, one will come to understand that there is a Law that guides the Universe - this law is designed within oneness and equality - oneness and equality can not be separated, they are one and equal, and the universe moves in accordance with this law, which means that what we stand one with we are equal with - thus is we stand one with Separation and fear and self-interest/survival then that is what we create equally within this world, as we all can see in this world, all the war, destruction, poverty, animal abuse, environmental disaster etc. 

So if we adopt the new Principle of Doing what is best for all life in each breath/moment living this Principle as a self-empowerment change, as a self-growth process, a re-birthing process we will in time stand ONE and EQUAL with what is bets for all life, and thus as within so without we will create a world that is Bets for all, isn't that what we all really want? 

How do we go from who we are now to living this new principle of doing/living what is best for all life? it is definitely a process, a long one, one that we all must walk to end the abuse and suffering WITHIN, so that we can end the Abuse and Suffering without. 

For this I use a lot of writing, and I apply Certain tools to support and assist myself every single day. These tools are simple, Breathing is number one, to focus on my Breathing and not on my thoughts/feelings/emotions, which is then where writing comes in, when I find I can not focus on breathing I write, I write what is inside of me to get it out, then when I find that the writing is quit specific I write more, I apply Self forgiveness Writing for what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, to become, as who I am currently, through this I develop Self Honesty, to really be Honest with myself about everything still I do all this within the Principle of what is Bets for all LIFE, not for personal gain, thus I let go, I breathe, I forgive, I focus on LIVING in the physical, to not be in my mind as much as possible, as the mind is that which enslaves us, traps us, and we all can see this.

I Learned all of this from Desteni and have walked this for 8 years now. I will share more in my coming posts.

Day 567 - Words and Who I Am


 Who am I? When I ask this short and simple question it feels like the universe is opening up to me, I see that within the question of Who am I, I am attempting to place myself in a box, through a short description, Perhaps I must take in the Universe and see who am I in reverse to this question.
Instead of Placing myself as who I am in a short description, I can rather expend myself as who I am as all that is HERE. 

I have seen and realized that in each Breath, each moment, That I am in those breathes and moments each time living a different word, not by choice, it is as if it is happening to me, a mood will come over me and I am living the word mood, or anger, or sadness, or happiness.

There are so many words that I am living and yet not aware of them, these words describe who I am in each moment. The problem I am seeing is how I am not the directive principle of who I am in each moment/breath. 

I have been practicing and implementing a new way of defining myself in each moment/breathe - instead of me living and accepting and allowing certain unknown words to come to me and for me to live them, I take a word instead, and I embrace that new word in each moment, a word that I would like to live, a word that I see will support and assist me to become my utmost potential, to become living words. 

This is not to create a polarity, such as when I am sad, to now embrace and live the word Happiness, NO! I take a word that is a correction, looking at why did sadness just come over me, perhaps I need to embrace the word Alone, to be alone, to stand alone, to be okay with being alone, as the word alone within it can be ALL as ONE - so alone isn't really being alone, it is to be here with ALL life as One, redefined to become a living understanding and to embrace ME - because I may have been sad due to being hurt by someone else, which showed me that I was reliant on others to bring me happiness, and thus not satisfied with myself, perhaps I have never really looked at myself and said, hey let me be alone for a while and focus on myself to be satisfied with myself, let me first embrace me.

So, Who am I? I am the words that I live in each moment/breath - I can either choose the words, understand the words, live the words and direct and decide my own live, or I can just sit and let any and all words influence me, being a victim to life, as words create our Wor(l)d.

Day 566 - Blame, Be Lame, be I may Lame, May I be Lame


After reading A widows Journey to life blog – Day 686 - http://awidowsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2016/03/day-686-revisiting-blame-realizing.html I decided to take a look at the word BLAME for myself.

Blame – this is quite a Big word for a small word, I find that this word has not been in my vocabulary much, in terms of looking at myself and this reality. I find that when I see this word it has become a LIVING as who I am – I will for instance not say – I blame you, you are to blame, they are to blame, I will use different words and speak sentences that becomes BLAME towards someone or something, and even worse, I actually then behave and act BLAME – but I never say the word Blame, speaking it.


Dictionary definition
1.
assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
1.
responsibility for a fault or wrong.

Those are two simple definition, one is giving blame and the other is taking Blame.
My word Play with Breaking it up and sounding.

Blame
Be Lame
Be Lame Me
Be lame am me
be I may Lame,
May I be Lame

OK so before I get into it – this word I find is a System word, meaning it shows a System/construct – but I do not find within it a sounding or wording that can be lived from it as a correction, as a word that I can or want to implement to LIVE, as it is literally just lame to blame, so I will deconstruct this word so that I can Identify within my speaking and behavior where I am living the word blame and to then correct myself from there within implementing a new word to live, thus changing my speaking and thus my behavior/patterns/habits.

Blame refers to the past, we can’t really blame something or someone for things that hasn’t yet happened, so the first question is, why do we want to BLAME? Is it to be Lame, to dis-empower ourselves, because the word Lame in itself exist and has a specific meaning.

1. Lame: 1.
make (a person or animal) lame.
"somebody lamed him with a stone"

So through Blaming are we throwing stones at ourselves? When we believe within blaming that we are somehow empowering ourselves, because all I can see one gets from Blaming is, is to sound good, sound right, sound reasonable, sound just, have Logic – all those points are required to blame – yet when we do that we totally dis-empower ourselves and do not even slightly look at ourselves, in fact, we create a specific Veil that forms around us when in the process of Blaming that even the people that are being blamed seem like the Blamer is on the right side. which is what a Blamer wants, they do nt want to be show how they are responsible equally and created the cause and the effect that led to blaming.

BUT – what does blaming expose about a person or self? When you blame the fact is you need a lot of evidence to proof your blaming, so when I or you come forth with BLAMING it only reveals something about myself or yourself, that we sat on the side and we watch everything happening in front of us and we did absolutely nothing and expected those who are doing something to do exactly what we wanted, yet never stood up to participate, which shows one thing, the Blamer is only speaking up when it is to late, and thus the blamer, self NEVER acted or did anything to prevent, starting with themselves, and thus when a person is Blaming, they are speaking from an Observer perspective who wanted something specific for themselves but wanted others to do it, then it didn’t happen, so here the blamer become someone that only exist as knowledge and information that as that point in time when blaming takes place, all the knowledge and information is useless, because it was needed before the blaming started not afterwards.

I am covering a lot of dimensions, I can see there are many levels of blaming on how to cover this word, so I am placing it in general, where I can take this information to my own relationship I have with myself, with others, with the world and see the creation of Blaming and how it is actually showing the LAMENESS – to be lame, and to be lame can either be since Birth (which we all are, because of brainwashing and how we are educated) or if we have the brains we simply decide to Lame ourselves and place responsibility on others, so we are essentially throwing stones at ourselves to not be able to move/direct/speak common sense within self-honesty in the moments when it is needed and to not let it become BLAME = too late.

So the correction is Self-responsibility and to not make the focus OTHERS but self-First always as the correction – I will place a Video Link in here of a Hangout I did on Self-responsibility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIYOSyIKedo
 

Day 565 – Personal Persona Person Prison

On the word Personal

Word Play
Person – all
Persona – l

Here I am taking on the word Personal – where it is currently existing within and as me from and as a system definition. Where Personal has become personal to ME.

So when we take a look at the current definition that we are all living as Personal, here is a dictionary definition for you and me.

- of, affecting, or belonging to a particular person rather than to anyone else.

- of or concerning one's private life, relationships, and emotions rather than matters connected with one's public or professional career.

So when I look at those definition I can say within self-honesty that I exist mostly within and as that definition(s) – I have defined my life around the “personal” and completely missed LIFE. So by breaking up the word I came to see two more hidden meanings/revelations
In the word personal we have Persona, and Persona is the following from the good old Dictionary:
- the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others.

It is quite fascinating because here I can see how I have lived a certain personal lifestyle where everything is about me and my personal – and within that I have created a Persona, which others are perceiving me with, and I also have come to LIKE this persona, in fact throughout my life I have lived to actively advertise my personal life as to create a certain persona as to feed the EGO.

The part that I have never lived, which is also in the word Personal, is once again hidden in breaking up the word and playing with the sounds.

Personal should be “Person ALL” – a person that lives for ALL – where one moves from the personal to the ALL/LIFE – it is fascinating to see how this one word hold the system/mind living of the word in the word and yet also have the reverse process/correction within the same word, the key to live the word in the correct way that is best for all life.

So now how to take this word and to physically integrate this word into and as me, to become a LIVING word as who I am, where I stop the personal and start living as a person that lives for ALL, this one words takes on all og me, every aspect of me – as I have defined myself and all of me throughout my life as Personal to ME, I never considered to live and consider things for ALL as who I am as my actions, my words my life.

So the first question I am asking myself now is, should there be something that is personal?
Well to investigate this point for myself right here and now, I must consider all, everything – and looking at my body, looking at what is here, NOTHING belongs to me, nothing is personal to me, not even a single cell in my body is mine, not the air I breathe Is mine, not even the food I eat is mine, everything return to substance/life, so what is personal? How have I lived this personal as such an absolute within myself, within my life, yet the physical is always showing me that nothing is personal, nothing is just for ME as mine. Everything belongs to LIFE.

How come all my life have I made everything about me and my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, my experience, my life, everything was about me personally. When someone says something to me that I don’t like, I take it personal, how do I take it personal, where does this personal GO? Do I have a little bank somewhere in another dimension where I collect everything that is personal to me, what I have as belongings, what I experience, what I react to or take personal? So that I can do what with it? What is the point of taking things personally? To take things personally my ego gets hurt? Thus my self-value is hurt? What I personally have on this earth as material things determine how my ego feels? How I define myself? What is the point of personal?

Did I just realize that I wasted my life on something that makes no sense yet I lived it as an absolute thing? I mean it makes way more sense be a person for ALL/Life this is living in a way where what I do is “giving” instead of collecting or hording, may it be material things or mind/emotional/feelings/thoughts that results in nothing as who I am as a being/life– and instead live to give, as my giving will be to life.

So that’s all good in theory and to really set up the word new for myself – person-ALL – so now every time I see myself focusing on “personal” I can identify that I am within a persona, I am within EGO, I am within self-interest, I am in the Prison/person that can only focus on itself and have limited capabilities to look at LIFE and to act and direct myself, the thinking of focus of “personal” is very limited – but when I expand myself in those moments from persona to person for All I remove the inner and I expand as the outer to include all that is HERE, in breathe.

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