Day 569 - I am just not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe and judge myself that I am just not enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough as a fact within me that I am not good enough, through the input of this world that I have received, from society, family, media and to submit and become that which I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not smart enough as a fact within me and to have thoughts/backchat/emotions/feelings about myself where I continuously confirm within me this to be true, and to then live this believe equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and live the believe as a fact within me that I am NOT tall enough, as an idea/image within my mind of what I believe I should be to be the right, and thus I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am now Strong enough as a fact within me within all the believes and comparisons and ideas I have within my mind to set the case against myself and to always lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not Capable enough as a fact within me, where I use past experiences/moments/memories to confirm that I am not capable enough and to thus sabotage any and every opportunity, even within self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am just not old enough, to do what I want to do with confidence, believing that confidence comes with age, and experiences, and to within this believe hold back and to not act, stand, breathe and direct and rather wait for others to do so that I judge as old enough, experienced enough and that has the right image of age to do what needs to be done, seeing and realizing that I will wait forever and only prolong my process and the process as life one and equal by waiting within this believe/excuse/justification

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not tough enough, within and as the believe that I must be though, where I have gotten an image and idea from and as the system that toughness is required from a human being to survive and live in this world, seeing and realizing that toughness as an interior and exterior is exactly what is wrong with this world and actually only exposes a weakness within self and thus as a manifestation within this world, where everything is though.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being quiet enough yet, where I am within the believe that I must be quiet immediately now, and to within this believe compromise myself with more voices and self-talk that is judgment of me not being what I desire, or aim to be as being quiet within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the believe that I am not rich enough, where I have placed my self-value and who I am within riches that is external outside of me, instead of seeing and realizing that the riches the world has presented as adding value to a person is of the mind as the enslavement system that is here where one forgets oneself and thus never focus on oneself as everything one defines oneself according to is placed out of reach, never looking at self as LIFE as all that is here in oneness and equality and to stop the separation of riches and poverty to exist first within self and so without as ones living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being healthy enough, where I compare myself and my health to some image and picture within my mind of what a perfect healthy person should look like and act like, as this picture is unreachable and a creation of the mind, thus not practical or within the consideration of the physical and what is here, and so I place myself on a never ending search for being healthy and achieving that image/idea/opinion and thus in return within the law or polarity that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by I create the polarity that I am not healthy and always lacking something, always missing something, always just not healthy enough and thus actually sick and in need of help constantly, always in a constant fear of what will become of me if I do not reach that perfect healthy, thus my disease it actually once again the mind and my unhealthiness is of the mind, as fear as thoughts/feeling and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being popular enough, where I have added a certain believe of myself and who I am within how popular I am, as the idea/believe/opinion is that if I am popular then that means I am doing it right, that I am on the right track, that I am finally worth something in other people’s eyes, and thus create the exact polarity within myself as my experience, that I am not valuable, that I do not mean anything, that I am not doing the right things, that I am on the wrong track, and thus I live a life of discouragement and putting myself down, or where I run after something in my mind to show me that what I do it worth doing, that it is the right thing to do, which I will never reach as I know and understand that popularity is a mind system, as within and without where only a few is selected to deliberately create separation and create enslavement to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being disciplined enough, where my definition of the word discipline is still defined within me according to past experiences, media and society, where discipline is still an image, certain way of how to live and be and seen as disciplines in OTHERS eyes, and thus discipline will never be enough for me, and thus I will never be disciplined enough, as the system/Mind deliberately create and place what key factors are within ones life as something not reachable and out there, and to accept and allow this within myself I always judge myself and guilt trip myself for nor reaching this discipline within my mind, thus I see and realize that I must redefine discipline for myself to become a practical living word that I can live as who I am in each breath, where it isn’t something I force upon me but where I live it as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being technical enough, where I have taken this word and I have compared myself to everyone else I know that is/are technical or that I have perceived as being technical within my world and to place myself as less than others and to then separate myself from others and placing myself in a different box, instead of seeing and realizing that if someone else that I see as being technical and good at it where it works, that I can s a equal and one human being be technical as the other person and that I am as capable, as the other person is an example to me to show me it can be done, it is possible and not impossible, and to within this push myself to develop myself to become technical and to allow and accept help, support and assistance within humbleness through understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being gentle enough, within comparing myself to others who I have defined as being gentle towards others, through my definition of what gentleness is to me, and to within this interpret what others are doing as being gentle within my definition, where I have set my definition of the word gentleness as something separate from me through past experiences where I have judged myself as not being a gentle person and to within this hold it against myself and thus separate myself from gentleness and thus I will never be gentle enough even if I try my hardest to express and be gentle, as long as the memory/experience lies within me as a LIE I told myself and believed, then I will never be able to be enough as the gentleness I will attempt to live will be seen as a lie within me while I am living gentleness and thus my living of gentleness will be a consistent self-judgment and self-sabotage, as this is the design of the mind to always attempt and keep a person limited and to never be enough.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured post

Victimization - Self-Forgiveness

    First realization/insight of the word. I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the word VIC...