Day 569 - I am just not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe and judge myself that I am just not enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough as a fact within me that I am not good enough, through the input of this world that I have received, from society, family, media and to submit and become that which I believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not smart enough as a fact within me and to have thoughts/backchat/emotions/feelings about myself where I continuously confirm within me this to be true, and to then live this believe equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and live the believe as a fact within me that I am NOT tall enough, as an idea/image within my mind of what I believe I should be to be the right, and thus I am wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am now Strong enough as a fact within me within all the believes and comparisons and ideas I have within my mind to set the case against myself and to always lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not Capable enough as a fact within me, where I use past experiences/moments/memories to confirm that I am not capable enough and to thus sabotage any and every opportunity, even within self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am just not old enough, to do what I want to do with confidence, believing that confidence comes with age, and experiences, and to within this believe hold back and to not act, stand, breathe and direct and rather wait for others to do so that I judge as old enough, experienced enough and that has the right image of age to do what needs to be done, seeing and realizing that I will wait forever and only prolong my process and the process as life one and equal by waiting within this believe/excuse/justification

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not tough enough, within and as the believe that I must be though, where I have gotten an image and idea from and as the system that toughness is required from a human being to survive and live in this world, seeing and realizing that toughness as an interior and exterior is exactly what is wrong with this world and actually only exposes a weakness within self and thus as a manifestation within this world, where everything is though.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being quiet enough yet, where I am within the believe that I must be quiet immediately now, and to within this believe compromise myself with more voices and self-talk that is judgment of me not being what I desire, or aim to be as being quiet within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the believe that I am not rich enough, where I have placed my self-value and who I am within riches that is external outside of me, instead of seeing and realizing that the riches the world has presented as adding value to a person is of the mind as the enslavement system that is here where one forgets oneself and thus never focus on oneself as everything one defines oneself according to is placed out of reach, never looking at self as LIFE as all that is here in oneness and equality and to stop the separation of riches and poverty to exist first within self and so without as ones living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being healthy enough, where I compare myself and my health to some image and picture within my mind of what a perfect healthy person should look like and act like, as this picture is unreachable and a creation of the mind, thus not practical or within the consideration of the physical and what is here, and so I place myself on a never ending search for being healthy and achieving that image/idea/opinion and thus in return within the law or polarity that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by I create the polarity that I am not healthy and always lacking something, always missing something, always just not healthy enough and thus actually sick and in need of help constantly, always in a constant fear of what will become of me if I do not reach that perfect healthy, thus my disease it actually once again the mind and my unhealthiness is of the mind, as fear as thoughts/feeling and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being popular enough, where I have added a certain believe of myself and who I am within how popular I am, as the idea/believe/opinion is that if I am popular then that means I am doing it right, that I am on the right track, that I am finally worth something in other people’s eyes, and thus create the exact polarity within myself as my experience, that I am not valuable, that I do not mean anything, that I am not doing the right things, that I am on the wrong track, and thus I live a life of discouragement and putting myself down, or where I run after something in my mind to show me that what I do it worth doing, that it is the right thing to do, which I will never reach as I know and understand that popularity is a mind system, as within and without where only a few is selected to deliberately create separation and create enslavement to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being disciplined enough, where my definition of the word discipline is still defined within me according to past experiences, media and society, where discipline is still an image, certain way of how to live and be and seen as disciplines in OTHERS eyes, and thus discipline will never be enough for me, and thus I will never be disciplined enough, as the system/Mind deliberately create and place what key factors are within ones life as something not reachable and out there, and to accept and allow this within myself I always judge myself and guilt trip myself for nor reaching this discipline within my mind, thus I see and realize that I must redefine discipline for myself to become a practical living word that I can live as who I am in each breath, where it isn’t something I force upon me but where I live it as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to judge myself as not being technical enough, where I have taken this word and I have compared myself to everyone else I know that is/are technical or that I have perceived as being technical within my world and to place myself as less than others and to then separate myself from others and placing myself in a different box, instead of seeing and realizing that if someone else that I see as being technical and good at it where it works, that I can s a equal and one human being be technical as the other person and that I am as capable, as the other person is an example to me to show me it can be done, it is possible and not impossible, and to within this push myself to develop myself to become technical and to allow and accept help, support and assistance within humbleness through understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being gentle enough, within comparing myself to others who I have defined as being gentle towards others, through my definition of what gentleness is to me, and to within this interpret what others are doing as being gentle within my definition, where I have set my definition of the word gentleness as something separate from me through past experiences where I have judged myself as not being a gentle person and to within this hold it against myself and thus separate myself from gentleness and thus I will never be gentle enough even if I try my hardest to express and be gentle, as long as the memory/experience lies within me as a LIE I told myself and believed, then I will never be able to be enough as the gentleness I will attempt to live will be seen as a lie within me while I am living gentleness and thus my living of gentleness will be a consistent self-judgment and self-sabotage, as this is the design of the mind to always attempt and keep a person limited and to never be enough.

Day 490 - Personality as a point of view

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have through my acceptance and allowances of thought made myself less than my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment I accept or allow a thought to create any form of fear/anxiety/stress or any other movement within me, that I have made myself less than a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself less than a thought through accepting and allowing thoughts to “mean” something within myself as the relationship that I have created within me towards/with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment a thought direct me as the physical being, that I have submitted to thoughts as having power over me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that thought/thoughts are but a point of view/opinion that is “separate from reality and not in fact reality as it is taking place inside MY mind and not real in reality, and thus it isn’t real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that each and every thought I have is MY point of View and not reality in fact, as each and every thought that I have as my point of view exists as me as my acceptance and allowance to sustain a personality, so that I can say I exist as an individual who has MY own point of view of reality, coming from a point of fear of losing my “mental self” as the personality that I have as the thoughts I have as my points of view/opinions that I have – that is deliberately created within conflict to be able to sustain friction that creates Mental energy so that I can keep creating this mental friction just to sustain a limited existence as a mental individual as thoughts – my point of view on reality. Seeing and realizing that there HERE is only one reality and that MY point of view on reality will always differ from ALL other humans as long as I hold on to personality as the mental self, the projected self, not the living self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take “thought” and having thoughts as something to be taken lightly, not seeing and realizing that each and every thought I accept and allow as my point of view on reality, as my mental projection that keeps my mental self as my personality alive, that I am in fact creating a personality of disharmony, of friction, that can never move to a point of living what is best for all LIFE as me, living as what is here in each and every breath as the real physical reality we all share equally, that does not require opinion, of points of views or ideas or personalities to be what it is, what is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my point of view on reality is relevant, that my point of view of what I interpret of reality is important and bring big insights and realization, though having these points of views in my mind as thought, as idea, as opinion that is and will be by its design always be in conflict with all other mental selves as all mental selves require for their own existence to have different points of views on reality to have friction to keep creating mental energy that then can be used by each being to make the statement, I am individual, I am unique, this is my personality, because Look at my point of view on reality with all my believes/Ideas and opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thought is the Veil in front of my physical eyes, that does not allow me to see common sense that is HERE existent as the physical, but rather to only see points of views as my opinions, beliefs, ideas and thus as my “personality”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that common sense only exist within the physical, and not within the mind, as the mind is a mental self, not a physical self, and a mental self can only interpret and project, create illusions and delusions, not see reality and what is here, and thus as long as there is one thought in my mind I am living behind a veil and I will fail as the mind will prevail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train my body to submit to thoughts and the energy that thought as the mind as the mental self uses to numb or to paralyze the body to do as the mind wants for its own limited survival and to train my body to simply give in and trust the mind/thoughts as the minds point of view on reality.

Day 456 – Being comfortable with myself Part 2.

Day 456 – Being comfortable with myself Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I can and am allowed to be comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to be comfortable with myself I must wear clothes that are accepted by everyone else, instead of wearing clothes that are practical and comfortable for my body/me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I wear will make me comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the cloths I wear will change how I experience myself inside, seeing and realizing that the inside experience I must change from within by breathing in air instead of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how big my physical body is and how muscular it looks will make me comfortable with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more manly I look the more comfortable I will feel with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more LOUD I am the more comfortable I will be with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more silent I am the more comfortable I will be with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when other people look at me that I must become self-aware of myself to be aware of what other people might think about me so that I can start defending myself already within my head and within this then become uncomfortable within myself, seeing that it is the thought and the back chat that is making me uncomfortable and not that other people are looking at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and judge others for looking at me as if they have the power to make me feel a certain way within myself, when I am in fact the only one who decides what is happening within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must feel/experience something within myself when other people are looking at me, within the believe that I must be self-aware to prove that I am aware of myself and how I look and all that to the other person, as in judging myself before they can judge me so that if something happens like they confront me I can already have an excuse or a justification for why the back chat and thoughts were accepted and allowed to compromise me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see that comfortablility comes from within, from breathing and that any thought or back chat will compromise the point of being comfortable and thus go into reactions and the mind, seeing and realizing that if there is back chat or thoughts about myself as judgements that I have that can and will come up in sudden moments to compromise me, I must investigate my physical participation as what I live and my inner and align them within self-honesty and practicality and thus live within that starting point instead of making it about a self-conscious point of being in others heads as my own judgments out of fear.

To be continued.

Day 455 – being comfortable with myself Part 1

What is it to be comfortable with myself? I have been working on this point for years, and yet it is still within me, no matter how small or how big the point is within me, it is still here.

Today I was in a new neighborhood; I faced two specific points that showed me that the point was still within me of not being completely comfortable with myself. 

I was walking across a soccer field to go to the bathrooms at one point, within this there were kids playing soccer and a couple of dozens sitting on the side-line watching, but not really watching, as they were simply talking among each other and playing.

As I was walking I had to cross the field with the kids playing, and as I was crossing all the kids were watching me, the kids were between the age of 10 to 13, so I am seen as the adult within their eyes being there, yet within myself I do not feel like the adult, I feel just like one of the kids.

So within me this created a conflict within me that started making me feel uncomfortable within myself, and thus I started walking weird and I I kept on looking downwards to the ground, also within this I noticed how I suddenly became very self-aware of the cloths I am wearing and the way I am walking and each part of my body became a point of self-awareness in this long walk, it was like a 200m walk to the toilet.

I weren’t comfortable with myself feeling uncomfortable in a sense of being self-aware in a states of self-judgement. 

Another scenario was now at night, in a new town for the first time with different people and areas and malls and so forth, within this we went to get food me and two other people on a road trip, within this we were standing outside of the restaurant waiting for our food to be prepared.

As we were standing outside by the tables, there were a group of men standing across from us on the other side of the road, they were laughing and talking and they stood around their cars in the parking lot, they looked our way a few times and as they looked they then started talking and laughing.

Within this I assumed it was about us, so I looked at the guys for a while and within this I saw them as being men, they have cars and they have money and they look like MEN, this definition is a contaminated one as it has nothing to do with being a man, where they were big, they had bellies and big arms and they were tall, everything I am not, so I started feeling like the kid. 

This then became uncomfortable within myself, not the scenario, because it is all about what went on within me, the judgements I made and placed, and this all obviously comes from how I have defined myself and the value I have placed within certain points.

Self-forgiveness in next blog, stay tuned.

Day 420 - I am Belief Part 8

Day 419 – I am Belief. 

When and as I see that I am accessing a belief system within myself that I have about myself or towards myself – I stop – I breathe and I slow down, I check myself and why I am within the certain belief system of myself and why I am living as this belief/limitation and to correct myself within the realization that NO belief is ever real or valid, as I see and realize that any and all Beliefs are Lies made up in the mind.

When and as I see myself Living a Belief that I have created about myself or the world/others – I stop - I breathe, I check myself if I am here living in and as the physical as that which is real and measurable or if I am in the mind as Thoughts/feelings/emotions/back-chat that is not serving me or life to be the potential I can be as Life one and equal – as I see and realize that the Beliefs I have of myself the world/others is but only Knowledge and Information that I have made up or gotten and have accepted and allowed Knowledge and information to be real – Instead I see and realize that it is within each breathe as the Physical that I will see what’s here and real and thus no knowledge and information required to add to what’s already here as the Physical.

When and as I see myself Finding it hard to stop a belief because I have created a Belief of what is to be expected after stopping a Belief – I stop – I breathe, I slow myself down and I focus on my breathing and what’s here in the moment as the physical, using my smell, my sight, my touch and my hearing and my Physical presence as me to get real to Be LIFE instead of a Be LIEF.

When and as I see myself living/acting in accordance towards something that I belief of myself towards something that I am accepting and allowing to move me as a response to create disbelief or to create the belief as real, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here in each breathe each moment and focus on what I am doing and see/realize what’s real.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am creating beliefs about myself in my mind to stop and to breathe and to check why am I creating a belief about myself as a Image or Likeness within my mind – to sit down to write it out and to expose the belief system of limitation and to not accept and allow myself to be anything less or more then what’s here as the Physical within self-perfection.

To Be Continued.

Day 419 – I am Belief. Part 7

Day 418 - Word Belief lived/created Part 6

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create more beliefs everyday about myself and the world through back-chat and secret mind BS within and as the Idea that I can use beliefs to undo old beliefs, seeing and realizing that it does not matter what Belief I create if it is positive or negative the system remains the same, a beliefs as an energetic experience motivation to move or not move that feeds off the body off the flesh of Life to sustain its short period of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs in the attempt to create or make something more then what is here within each breathe/moment just to feel something called an emotion/feeling to feel my life has a meaning, something more than what is here within simplicity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything Physical that is here just so that I can belief I am smart because of the Beliefs I can make up/create out of what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything from why the earth is round to why I am not gaining weight or to why I love or hate certain things or why a dog is a dog and a mouse a mouse just to feel that I have some sort of intellectual power over what’s here as I am creating all these beliefs about everything here that makes sense and seem so smart and where when I sell these beliefs to others they seem to agree and they seem to acknowledge the intellect within my beliefs and thus it means my beliefs must be so true and so real and so Solid as facts.

Seeing and realizing that all I am doing is building a prison around myself a=of beliefs or knowledge and information that I must not remember all the time taking all my time just to keep this system alive within myself of not having to feel any less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have created a world of beliefs in my mind within myself as a prison for myself and my mind to always be limited within these beliefs just so that the mind can keep on feeding off the energy the beliefs are creating within my prison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything that is here in fear of what is here as the truth as the facts of reality and to instead create a belief to justify to reason to excuse me from reality and to not to have to take full self-responsibility as a co-creator.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am in a prison of my mind where I create beliefs about reality and me within reality just so that I can make myself seem more within reality and what is here and thus enslave and imprison myself within these beliefs of myself and reality to a self-create world in my mind, like copying what is in fact here into my mind into all my beliefs of myself in relation to the world/reality and to then live life from this illusion through my mind first then in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live through my mind as my beliefs of/about reality and myself as the illusions/delusions in my mind as the definitions I have attached to all that is here and what these definitions are within my own personal relationships towards the words/reality and to then live accordingly to this self-created Belief or reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interact in a indirect way within reality within the physical through first looking at what’s here and then copy what’s here and imprint it into my mind as a picture and then to add my Beliefs to the picture and my definitions to the picture and all that’s in the picture and to then after adding all my own self-created beliefs and limitation to the picture in my mind I take that picture with all the newly added knowledge and information I am past it over reality as the physical as a mental projection and then to only move/direct myself within this delusion I have created from and as my mind.

To Be continued.

Day 418 - Word Beleif Lived/created Part 6

Continuing from Day 417 - Word Belief lived/created Part 5

NOW – I have re-enforced this belief with self-created Physical evidence, this mean it will be WAY harder for me to gain weight with my next attempt, I just now proofed to myself and everyone in my environment that I can’t gain weight no matter what I eat or drink.

So now I can even go deeper – where did I create the Belief that I need to gain weight, why has this become a problem for me, why do I have this urgent need to want to gain weight – where does this belief come from that I must gain weight before a certain age and time in my life – weight being muscles, looking physically healthy and not skinny and weak/sick.

I was fine with my Physical body/weight up until I went to my second primary school in grade two – when there was more Boys and more other children and people – I noticed that I was physically smaller than the other boys, and this meant they had an advantage over me physically, which made me feel insecure and vulnerable.

Which was the case, the smaller I was in comparison to the other boys the more I would be pushed around and get bullied and all those kind of stuff, I am an easier target.

Yet here I was young, I saw within the years to come that all the other boys was growing bigger and getting more muscles and stronger, when I was basically still skinny and smaller and could not play for instance Rugby, as they would just crush me with their bodies. But I was amazing in athletics.

So I had the Belief that my time will come, I will catch up with the other boys, just wait, you know how we change with time and age, my Mother especially always said, just give it time, your body will develop in your teenage years. When my teenage years came and I was in high school with even more people around from all over the town in one place, with guys that look like muscle builders and that is strong and tall and that have everything we call a real man, I still remained this fucking skinny guy.

While my best friend was shorter than me by at least four inches, he at least weighed sixty six Kilograms at the age of sixteen. And he looked skinny to me – I who was taller and who was also sixteen only weighed fifty five kilograms. WTF. When is this fucking change coming my mother talked about? Why am I not growing up, why am I not maturing, why am I not becoming a man.

So within ALL this time that has passed, I had to create a reason a excuse for other people in my environment why I am not becoming a man, why I am not changing and maturing and getting bigger and gaining weight/muscles – so I turned to Knowledge and information to give me explanation within this time, I used excuses like it’s in my DNA, its my GENETICS, it is my physical design, yes sure it is, but I made a Belief out of it, I used this Belief and I sold it to everyone, so that I could feel better about myself, I used this Belief that it’s my physical design, look I am skinny but check how strong I am, I was strong and I won’t deny it.

So now I made up within all this time a belief about myself – I belief it’s my DNA and my genetics and it runs in the family and within this its unchangeable, it is set in stone, I am sorry ladies but this is my design and I am stuck within it., the design is slim but with strong toned muscles inside, because I was able to do everything everyone else did only weighing fifty six kilograms at the age of eighteen. Se how I re-enforced the belief by making it into something special, I made my limitation special, I accepted it as fact and I made it special to feel special so that I don’t have to feel inferior or left out or less than.

To be continued on Self forgiveness.

Day 417 – Word Belief lived/created Part 5

Day 413 - Belief Part 1
Day 414 - Belief Part 2
Day 415 - Belief Part 3
Day 416 – Belief Part4

How does Belief have an actual effect on the Physical – Since belief is something that exists just in our minds how can Belief have an actual physical effect on Us and the world.

It is simple – when I belief something within me I am giving the belief permission to direct me and my actions and thus what I physically do and say - then as I am doing this and Billions of others - we all create physical consequences that are created from beliefs/mind through the actions and words we live.

Then how is belief created – where does the Idea come from that to believe something is enough, to have a belief is good, to live by beliefs is cool. How did I create Beliefs within myself/about myself and how did I actually manifest the belief to make it a fact, where I can say SEE here is the evidence the facts of my belief is real. It is true, look as I said what I believed before about myself or something or anything.

I have a cool point of how I have created a Belief in my life, in my world and with my body that I am still working on. I have been working on this Belief about myself for at least eleven years.

This belief is the Belief that I cannot gain weight, I cannot change my physical weight at all, no matter how much I eat or drink no matter what weight/muscle mass gaining proteins I take, I can’t gain weight. I have twelve years behind me where I have been DOING it, eating and drinking shakes and all that crap to gain weight/mass.

I CAN gain weight, it isn’t magical or impossible, it isn’t a set fact that I can’t gain weight/mass – I have over many many years created and engrained within myself the Belief that I cannot gain weight, and while I do whatever I can I don’t gain weight. Because while I drink that protein shake or eat three steaks and a big plate of food eight times a day, I go inside myself, this isn’t going to work, my body will just burn this away, I can’t gain weight from this, I probably will never gain weight with this, this is just my physical design, I am limited within my physical design, My mother and my cousins and all my friends keep on saying I am skinny – even though I eat more than them and eat “healthier than them, they keep saying I am skinny.

There is a quick example of what supports the Belief – so how does it make a difference within me gaining weight or not – if I am going to eat a lot of food for the next three months to see if the Diet works so I can gain weight and I go full on into this diet with the predetermined expectation that it will not work, then it will not work. Because I am giving my body the input/belief that it will not work, basically saying DON’T work. So now as I eat this new diet and I do it for three months and I check on the scale and I was consistent and I did everything I can to support the diet. I see I did not gain any weight, whala – my belief that I have about myself not being able to gain weight is real.

Day 417 - Belief and self Part 5

Day 413 - Belief and self Part1
Day 414 - Belief and self Part2
Day 415 - Belief and self Part3
Day 416 - Belief and self Part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of myself and who I am or must be and thus what I am supposed to live and live up to, seeing and realizing that this is all past experiences that I have now created into future projections that now has become me walking my past as my future and thus only walking in circles and never reaching these beliefs I have created of myself for myself in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and take what I or others belief of me as true, seeing and realizing that for it to be true I must accept and allow it to be so, and thus a belief has not power, no actual real effect on me unless I accept and allow it as who I am and thus live the belief out as real. Using what is real as the physical here in each breathe to create what are illusions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself such as I must be stupid, that it isn’t so as it’s only a belief and that it is me keeping the belief alive that prevents me from seeing what’s here and dealing with what’s here as solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I am stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief of I am stupid to exist within and as me and to let this belief govern and determine what I can or cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by what I belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by the belief I have about myself as being stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self-definitions as belief systems of myself from past events/experiences where I have judged myself as stupid instead of breathing and correcting myself and to Not label myself as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry my past with me all the time within the beliefs that I have created and uphold about myself as being stupid. 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact change what I belief of myself, to go from belief to actual living application, seeing and realizing that this requires me to correct myself in and as the physical to Stop the belief and to live the corrections that is required to correct the physical consequences I have created for myself through time to be stupid all because I accepted and allowed a belief of myself to exist within me of being stupid.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself as being weak, that it is the belief that will keep me in that state of mind and thus direct my physical actions or emotional body to meet the expectations of the belief, instead of stopping the belief and see what’s here in each breathe and dealing/working with what’s here as the problem and the solution within actual real time feedback and to within this NOT define me according to the feedback or the results mis-takes, but to instead work towards self-perfection, where I stand within me here in and as the physical and perfecting myself as what’s here and to correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about what is weak and what is strong and to within this choose a side according to the Idea/belief I have created through physical events/experiences where I then place myself in a category of weak or strong and to then create a belief of myself that I must life this belief as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within a physical reality where we all have different bodies and different strengths and weaknesses physically, that I cannot create an Idea/belief of what’s weak and what’s strong but instead I can see with My body with my capabilities where I have weaknesses and strengths and to focus on self-perfection within what is here as me as my physical and to push myself to better myself and to be the most I can be, and that the equality within all life that is here isn’t to be equally strong or weak or capable but to that we are equal within the substance of life and being here sharing this life and thus I must realign myself within my physical body within doing what’s best for all life such as self-perfecting myself Not based on beliefs but on actual real physical feedback. 

To be continued.