Day 570 – Accepting the Positive but not the negative

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a moment when I feel good, when I feel like everything is going in the right direction and things are looking bright, to within this feeling/experience lose sight of what is here, where I go into the experience of Bliss and ignorance to reality, within what exist within me and within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is okay to be in a positive/feeling experience as long as it isn’t bad, as long as I am feeling good, the world is okay, my world is okay, and so when I go into the positive feelings within me to create a polarity of negative through the ignorance and Bliss to reality, thus missing what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the positive experience of everything is Good, I Feel good and thus things are good within me and with this world, not seeing and realizing the obvious self-deception, as I know who I am and what exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make positive experiences/feeling within me okay, and yet condemn the negative just because of how each one makes me feel, seeing and realizing that the mind uses energy, no matter if it is good or positive, to enslave us in the mind, as I can see within myself for myself that when I am within a negative or positive experience/feeling I am within the mind, I am trapped and enslaved within energy and thus within my patterns/programs/behaviors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only Move and direct myself when I feel positive, when I feel good, and to within this acceptance and allowance give away my authority as myself to move and direct myself in any moment and to rely on only good and positive moments to direct and move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see me as being positive as just being that, being positive, instead of seeing it for what it is which is energy, which is the same in feelings negative or positive, and thus when I am within any mood/experience if it’s positive or negative I see it for what it is, which is energy, which is of the mind, and within understanding the mind which functions only on energy and thus enslaving the body/person to patterns/habits/behaviors not matter what feeling or emotion it creates within a person/myself – thus I stop any energy that is designed within polarity thus follows pre-programmed designs of patterns/habits/behaviors that isn’t best for me either way, as it is always set within terms and conditions of limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of chasing positive experience/feelings, which only confirms my actual experience of myself which is negative, why else would I seek positive then?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within a negative experience/emotional state of myself and to within this acceptance and allowance of me as being negative/bad/sinful always being trapped in the seeking of the positive and thus my life consists of me always only seeking positive, and that is all life will be and can be to me as long as I accept and allow this way of existence of polarities.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I wake up, and if the first things I think about in the morning is negative or positive, that the rest of my day will not be about me LIVING but about me seeing the other polarity or seeking to get out of the other polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it normal as who I am to live within a polarity construct day in and day out and so it continues till death, and within accepting and allowing it as normal I am not seeing, realizing and understanding fully that that is all my live can be, a polarity game, and thus when I die, I will die as existing as nothing more of less than just a polarity and I never actually lived, as I, as who I am without a polarity design is nowhere to be found, as I have defined myself according polarities which is simply energy that comes and go, not who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is Too difficult to not live in a polarity of either negative or positive, as I haven’t yet defined myself without the polarities, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into polarities as I have already given the polarities more authority then who I am here as Breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being directionless, or not knowing what to do with myself if I do not have energy that directs me in either positive or negative and to within this fear fall into the polarity design, thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give Breathe a chance, to give life a chance, to give ME a chance and to trust that I have the authority to step out of any polarity, negative or positive, and be in breathe and to move and direct myself from there within self-honesty and common sense.

Day 477 – investigating self- Postponement

What does it mean to postpone, what is postponement, let me start at the beginning of what I have lived as postponement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone living and being utmost potential through not applying myself within the most basic and simple tools such as Breathing, and to postpone the physical action of focusing on my breathing because I want to rather focus on what I have been living and giving my attention to for the past two decades which is the mind and thus as my limited potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I cannot right now do this, live my utmost potential, as I still have to focus on so many other points first, and to within this postpone what is here as me as my utmost potential and thus rather focusing on all the problems and all the things I still make myself believe I have to walk through before I can be my utmost potential, and thus creating all that I make myself believe that I still have to walk through before I can be my utmost potential an excuse and thus a postponement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use postponement as a reason for me to not to have to do something right now just because I have a bead feeling within me regarding what I have to do right now that is here, and to create many reasons and excuses that seem relevant and real (even if I really just pull them out of my ass) through using the physical reality and creating “real” points that will not really bloc me from doing what I can do just so that I can protect the feeling within me that is negative, and not having to go to this negative feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone what is here and that I can take responsibility for and to limit myself just because I have a bad feeling on my belly about something that is within my mind, a specific secret fear that I am not sharing with anyone, because it is so small within me that I fear even mentioning it will make me seem weak and small, so I rather postpone what needs to be done and make up so many excuses as I fear doing what needs to be done now by me can reveal this fear to others and mostly to myself, where I experience it within me consistently within doing t5he task at hand, my it be talking to a person, or cutting the grass or doing a phone call for business, or writing this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone what is here to do as a point that requires a response from someone to move and with me being in the current position to respond to take self-responsibility I will rather not do it right now and postpone till another time when it fits me or when I am feeling that the moment is right, the moment isn’t right now, it is wrong now, so I must wait till how I experience myself within myself change and then I can do what needs to be done, but by that time it’s to late and the moment is gone and the point that needed responses in the moment has not lost its universal connection of possibilities, it is now contaminated by postponement and the flower that didn’t get its water but a day before is now dead the next day, so the room stink up, the bees has no food, and the sun has nowhere to send its ray to, and the only reason the flower didn’t get its water is because someone was to busy sitting on the couch in fear of missing a TV show for the life of a flower.

THUS

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I postpone something within my day I am not just postponing what needs to be done, I am postponing a universal movement, a movement that has to do with more than just me, it has to do with the proce4ss of LIFE and where all life is inter connected, and the moment I postpone even the simplest moment I am harming many other connections/relationships that reality consists of consistently and thus postponing the process of life and helping those that has no idea of this process and or can do nothing about it due to their position in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish within my actions within the ignorant belief that what I do effects only me, and that I have the right to only do things when I feel like it, never considering, within a business, within a relationship, within a family, within a community and thus within this world, everything I do or do not do within every aspect of my life that is interconnected to all life, like throwing a pebble into a pond, or not throwing it, are we creating or waiting, and what are we creating or what are we waiting for, either options is creation, just directly or indirectly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my postponement is a side effect of who I am – it is me as a product and on the label it says, side effects may be postponement of using this product, created over time by all aspects of my life, and thus I can see that this who I am can be changed through the fact that I accepted and allowed this who I am now to be, so I can undo it and create myself as my utmost potential, which will be a product of life, one that functions as and for life, no postponement is possible because my movement is who I am, not a side effect of how I feel or think, but what is here, what is practical what is best.

Examples lived,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone eating food during the day, due to me being within the mind within a consistent state of stress and worry about what I need to do and getting to it, and to within this tire myself out before I can ever get to doing what needs to be done because my body is tired and does not have energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone going to bed at night due to worrying about time and not having enough personal time to get to personal things that I would like to do and to within this end up going to bed to late and struggling to wake up, thus...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone waking up when I hear my alarm within the through of I did not get enough sleep and to within this get to work to late and thus not having enough time to eat and to get to supporting my body properly from the get go and to have an effective day within moving myself and thus going into stress.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone getting to the actual movement of my day once I have done all the planning and all the small things that requires to be done within the morning, such as doing the phone calls and the emails and the trips to appointments and making my life prosper within self-movement due to now lacking energy and being stuck within an anxiety where I have rushed myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone taking actions within my life to correct my consistent errors that I am aware of yet continue falling into the traps, due to me wanting to hold on to some personal points of self-interest such as having my time at night, instead of making that clear cut decision of going to bed at a certain time to get that six hours of sleep in to be able to wake up early and to have a breakfast and to support myself for the day physically and to move myself and direct myself instead of being trapped within energies and emotions/feelings that is the consequences of my actions that I did not direct and take self-responsibility for due to postponing, saying I will correct it tomorrow, I will do it tomorrow, I will get to it tomorrow, I am still okay, I am still fine so I can start with it tomorrow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my life and to not direct my life to be the best potential that it can be so that I can life the best of my potential and still discovering myself within the process.

Day 412 – Breathe as you in revers, the Universe Part 4

Day 411 – Breathe part 3.

Day 410 - Breathe Part 2

Day 409 - Breathe Part 1

 

When and as I see that I am thinking – I stop, I breathe and I focus my attention on breathing, within the realization that the thinking isn’t real as it require me to “think” about which is the same as making stuff up.

Thus I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking to stop and breathe and to Not suppress what I was thinking about, but to see why I was thinking, what was behind the point, to be self-honest with myself – to be brutal with myself in my self-honesty and to really get down to earth and earth myself as breathe and to stop floating around in my head.

When and as I see that I am justifying why I need the mind through using the mind, I stop. I breathe, seeing and realizing that when and as I breathe and focus on breathing I notice a very peculiar thing, the justifications suddenly is gone and the need for the mind is gone and was never real. 

When and as I see myself going into back-chat as internal gossip with myself about others/things in life, I stop. I breathe, I focus myself as my breathe within and as my body as my reality as the physical and to be here in real time in fact, where whatever I was back-chatting about is instantly useless and debunked as made up shit.

When and as I see myself moving or not moving myself within a certain experience of myself which mostly is that of fear, I stop. I breathe and I focus on my natural breathing that is already naturally happening/being done and I focus on my breathe till it stabilizes and I move from and as that breathe of stability within my reality within real time as breathe. 

When and as I see that I am using the mind to impose deliberate limitations onto myself as a way to manipulate myself and my reality in spite of others or myself as a way of literally limiting myself for the sake of being spiteful within what I can do or cannot do I stop, I breathe. I focus on my breathing and how my breathe goes in and out of my body in and out of existence as the universe and I move as the universe as the physical where I do not accept and allow myself to be any limitation or lesser version of myself as that which I know I can be.

When and as I see that I am giving my focus/attention my being to the mind as who I am within each moment and what I am capable of or not, I stop. I breathe and I see what is here in fact as the physical as I stabilize myself as my breathe and as my body and as me here in actual real EYES.

I see and realize that this is a new way that I must practice and give my attention to, my focus and to be discipline within walking this new way as the principle of life of oneness and equality and doing what best for all life in all ways, as I see and realize the plan, and as this is the plan to live I discipline myself within each moment to breathe and stand up if I fall and to do this till I become it as who I am, as I see and realize that as I created myself as the mind through practice, through space and time so must I equally create myself as life one and equal. 

When and as I see that I am faced with a point of self-experience within myself, where I am within any self believe or disbelieve of myself, I stop, I breathe and I use what is in fact here as the physical to check my points and to have real cross reference, as I see and realize that when I stop the mind through breathing, focusing my breathe and bringing awareness into my body as/with my breathe as myself and so into my reality as me here, I can see when the mind is stopped if what was within the mind was actually real, which I know is never real, it’s made up.

When and as I see myself NOT focusing my breath, I stop. I Breathe, I do not judge myself I do not hold that which was within my mind within what I was participating within against myself, as I see and realize that holding it against myself I will only do it again and again and time loop and get myself stuck within the mind, and thus I commit myself to Forgive myself in that moment or to write the points out and write/apply self-forgiveness and to move on as breathe unconditionally for and as myself. 

I see and Understand that it is not to suppress the mind, to hide the mind or to block the mind, it is to use breathing as myself to walk through the mind, to understand the mind, yet not to get stuck in it, to do this within self-honesty and common sense and to understand the mechanics of how I created myself as the mind, as understanding gives way to standing up and to stop standing under everything and to stand one and equal with what is here, with what I have accepted and allowed to exist. And to then through this re birth myself as the physical at the same time, as I remove the mind through understanding and self-forgiveness/not separation, I have my support, my reference as the breath as the physical for what I am standing as that which is real and matters… as the physical is the matter that we all exist as, as a matter of fact. 

I commit myself to walk this process breath by breathe in patience within real time, to not miss the points that can be seen and walked and to commit myself to this process till it is done, till all are free one and equal and we all walk as one as the physical, the one reality we all share in fact, as we all can see that together and confirm it together and thus our oneness is here as the physical and not the mind, as the mind has many alternate realities only each one is aware of for themselves and thus really all made up and still this is what we accept and allow to direct our lives/our world. How is that even possible? 

Breathe – as the universe as matter, an action of expanding and contracting, all is here. Breathe is U in reverse, from the mind to breathe.

Day 411 – Breathe Part 3

Day 409 – Breathe Part1

Day 410 - Breathe Part 2

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown of Breathe, No mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create expectations of myself and what I might do and not do when and as I am breathing instead of thinking, seeing and realizing that within this I can already see within myself that it is I am contemplating about doing or not doing, should I or should I not, can I or can I not, and thus when and as I breathe I can see myself simply doing it what needs to be done with no mind creating a fear/reaction to stop me from moving as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word Breathe as something irrelevant that I don’t need to focus on or be aware of as it happens naturally anyway, seeing and realizing this is an act of ignorance and thus reflecting what I am living as, as Ignorance of what is here, as this is clearly reflecting within reality where we are all in ignorance of what is here in fact and thus leading back to ourselves with something as simple as one breathe and not being aware or focused on one breathe even.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is within breathe, the cutting edge of Time as breathe of life that I am here as life, that I move as life, and that I have no fear, and when I have no fear I see and realize all that which I fear will not exist and I will be open and clear and able to do what I have always protected myself from doing and standing up and speaking and learning and really live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define breathing as something dumb to focus on when I can rather spend my time focusing on things in the mind and make my time valuable as that which I am thinking about might come handy in time, and when I am not thinking I am not preparing and not readying myself for the future, seeing and realizing that this is a paranoia system design with me where I live in the future as paranoia and thus feel compulsive to be in my mind thinking and preparing and basically creating fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually for real LIVE and Be life in fact through each and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to the mind as having a purpose of some great value and that somehow I must defend the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to defend the mind in the reasoning that I have a mind and thus it must mean it means something or has some great purpose. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend the mind, instead of breathing and letting go and being here, seeing and realizing that standing as a single breathe of LIFE I am here as LIFE in all dimensions and thus no thinking required as all is here as me and thus thinking is but a process of the mind compromising self as breathe to move as life one and equal in fact within what is here to compromise self for the minds own purpose of generating energy for its own survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the mind must survive for me to survive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when and as I give all my trust to and as breathe in each moment that my survival will be in danger. 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all my life my survival has been dependent on the mind and thus as my evidence of me still being here alive as a result of living in my mind I have learned to only trust my mind, seeing and realizing that this is self-deception as it is my breathe in fact that has been keeping me alive and all I have done was never lived, but hide in fear and in characters and personalities in fear of dying but never live, seeing and realizing that what the fuck is the purpose of surviving then when I have never lived, BE life as who I am in fact in essence as my being s as my flesh and not the mind as energy as the past as memories as that which will simply be deleted at death. 

to be continued