Day 2 - When I use money/cards

Today I went to the mall, I had some money in the bank and I had to use it to buy basic stuff for animals and for household things and for the plants in and around the house.

I saw that every time I took out to pay with my cheque account card I felt like I had power/authority, like I had some kind of power and ability not many has, which is true.

I saw that every time we had a meal or purchased something I was the one that the bill was brought to and that I had to place my card down and pay, this brought up a form of feeling of being proud and that I am seen as a person with authority and respect.

I could see in my behavior how I changed toward people, I was looking down on them, saying to myself, I have money and you don't, I have a card with money on saved and ready to be used at my command, that I have a secure future with money.

This was clearly a point of ego and this is not acceptable as it is that which creates abuse in this world and accept and allow the money system that currently exists that is not best for all life, and keeping it in place. 

What is money in the world?

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of ego, instead of practicality and within consideration of the current money system and how to direct my money to bring about change,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of bragging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel power when I take my card out of my wallet and that I am able to buy something physical with it that I can touch and use and see and have to myself, realizing that this power I feel is powering a monetary system of complete abuse and not what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money blindly with in the starting point of power and control and to with in this not see that what I do with my money and what I purchase with my money is in fact voting for what I am willing to accept and allow to exist in this world as abuse and as that which is not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belief that I am a authority with in this world because I have it and that I have money on it and that the money gives me authority, realizing that I am actually just a slave to money and that i have been fooled into being brainwashed to belief I am an authority in relation to the money I have to keep me a slave to the current money system so that those with all the money can continue making more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money for the sake of feeling good about myself and how much money I have saved up and are able to use through purchasing goods, realizing that this is in fact the pattern that supports consumerism that is in fact not best for all life and is all about greed and profit and not caring about life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud that I can take out my card from my wallet and pay for things, as if I have accomplished something in this world while the world is clearly still based on self interest where billions of people starve and die of hunger and live on the streets and where animals and plants are disregarded and abused for money, thus I realize I have not accomplished anything yet but that I have only made some money and that I have saved it up in the fear of my own future with money, and thus I realize that in my actions of feeling proud and that I have accomplished something I am only hiding the truth from myself that I fear my future in this world and this current money system, and that I have in the act of feeling proud accepted and allowed my fear as valid because I have made myself belief that because I have money I am secure and save in this world and that I am separate from the rest that is not secure and save and that it is okay for them to suffer but not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all those that does not have money, that does not have security and a warm home and food through only protecting my money in a bank and keeping it to myself and not spending it in a way that will support a new world that is best for all, but to instead hide my money and only use it to make myself happy while I hide my fear that causes me to save money up, my fear of the future and the truth that I know myself, that this world is not reliable with in the current money system and anyone can lose everything at any time and that I can swap places with those that I leave in situations that I do not even wish for myself but allow others to be with in it.

Thus I forgive myself hat I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind money as my security in the fear that I might one day join those that I separate myself from that currently does not have money and that has an abusive life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do anything about the current money system to change it as I know that what I do onto another shall be done onto me, and currently what I am doing is hiding behind the security of money and leaving those that I have separated myself from with in my mind -  out there in the cold to fend for themselves, and to still have the hope that when I might join them one day that they will have mercy on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can separate myself from those that has no money and a life of safety and food and cloths, through hiding behind money and the things I purchase to make me feel happy, realizing that I am on the same planet as them, that I am of the same substance as them, and separation is impossible and facing myself as them is inevitable. 

Equal through substance!

Thus I realize  that I have to take self responsibility for myself in each breathe, to use my money only with in that which is relevant and to bring about a new monetary system that is best for all LIFE, and to change my starting point with in how I use and why I use money daily and where I place my money is where I place my vote.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to fear losing all my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that If I do not save money and keep a secret stash in the bank that I will not have a secure future.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if something happens to me with in the current money system, that I can lose everything including what I saved up, as the current money system has no mercy and simply see all life as numbers and not life and that I should while I have money and a job and the opportunity to do something in this world to take my money that is hiding and spend it, use it in such a way that I know it will accumulate into that which will bring about a world that is best for all, and thus I secure my future equally with all futures as one here on earth, and so I will release myself and all life from the pressure and the fear of daily survival and allow all life to live life instead of survive. - best for all as equality!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money has more value than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money can buy me out of physical consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I have money I have some sense of authority in this world and thus I can simply avoid consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the comfort of having money saved up while billions/the whole planet earth is suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my false idea/belief that money is all that matters and the only way life can exist, and thus hold on to it in fear and apathy, and not move myself and my money to bring about a world that is best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and spend my money in this world on random stuff that supports consumerism and the abuse of life, exploiting all life for profit to support my random shopping consumerism,

thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow a system of exploitation of life in complete abuse of life for the sake of profit through my randomness of spending money on random stuff just because I feel like it, realizing that this is in fact me being responsible for all abuse on earth in a direct inter linked way, and thus I am not to be kept out of the consequences to follow but to have to face them as me as the direct responsible one in fact as I was allowing and accepting it with in voting with my money where I spend it and how.

Commitments.

I commit myself to stop the pattern when I go to the mall and spend my money, to only spend it on practical things that is actually relevant and that is required to life and support myself and my environment.

I commit myself to stop the ego point of having money and seeing myself as being more than others that does not have money through writing and self forgiveness.

I commit myself to stop the pattern and to actually use money for what it currently is in this world, to get all basic needs, and when I have all basic needs to not buy, purchase other good that is purely based on consumerism and that is counting as a vote for accepting and allowing the current money system that way it is.

I commit myself to use all my money in all ways in such a way that where I use my money and how, that it will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to stop the pattern of holding onto my money and wanting it to grow and be kept save in a bank somewhere just so that I can feel save, but to commit myself to let go of the false idea of life that money is alll that can ever exist, and to take my money and use it while I can in such a way, a common sense way that will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to not hide money in the fear of the future that I have already projected in my mind for myself, but to commit myself to stopping the fear and to direct my money in a way that is best for all life.

I commit myself to to making more money so that I have more money to direct it in a common sense way that is best for all life and to getting the mess sorted out for all life equally and to not hide behind my money in fear of only my own future and creating a false sense of security.

Realizations.

I realize that money is needed in this world currently, and that I require money to be alive and to be able to survive.

I also realize that money can be used to change the world the way we have accepted and allowed it through simply re-directing how I use my money and that where I place my money is a vote for my future world/life as all lives on earth equally.

I realize that money is the only way that the world can be changed as everything functions according to money and how it moves and to where, as money does have all authority currently and not the person at all. It is money that decides if you can feel like you have authority, so who actually has the authority lol.thus it is to take back authority and stop the patterns and direct the money to that which is best for all life.

I realize that if I spend money on random stuff that I am with in that voting for random stuff to exist in this world as the current capitalism system for consumerism and that with in this everything on earth as all life is being exploited and abused for it, for my random spending with money, such as placing live baby turtles in plastic bags so you can carry them around for 5 months till they die.